Trust 30 - Intuition by Susan Piver : My Safeguard Conscience

I think my intuition would be a smoking, thin, and quiet person. He would be a guy. Since most of the time this is how I think. I believe that I have a guy in my head who tells me that this is how the world works.


The first thing that he would tell me would be :

I told you not to date those guys, didn't I? You should have dumped their asses on the second day of your relationship. You wasted so many of your prime years dating the weirdos and emos. I told you to find a man like your dad. You never listen. I guess you found one. Don't worry. He just needs to buff off the rough edges and he'll be a gem.

Trust 30 - 10 Year Text by Tia Singh : After Ten Years...

36-year old me sms: 

How many books do you think you published by now? It's more than what you could have ever imagined. I told you that you can do it. You should have listened to Yesha sooner. Your Ne Sarang and chikitings say, "I love you, mama." ^.^

I think it would motivate me. I think it would open me up to a lot more opportunities and I wouldn't be afraid of not getting what I really wanted out of my life.

Trust 30 - Overcoming Uncertainty by Sean Ogle : Common Fear Denominator

Major goal: Submit a manuscript to a publishing house.

Fears:

a. Rejection
  - fear of rejection
  - ego
  - cowardice

b. Revision
  - ego
  - UP-complex
  - deadline is not met (loops to rejection)

c. Realization that I am not good enough
  - ego
  - arrogance
  - UP-complex

What do you know, there are common reasons. Hey there ego and UP-complex, you crazy biatch glitches. T_T,

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prompts found here

TRUST 30 - Fault and Change by Carlos Miceli : RISK

I know for a fact that the things that are not working out in my life is my fault. So I am definitely taking chances now. I know that the reason why I am not earning enough is because I settled for a dayjob that was easy. But I need to work on being more ambitious.

I know for a fact that the reason why I can't get my novels polished is because I am afraid of failure. I think that most of the things that I can do or the potential that other people see in me is not realized is because I do not risk failing at something.

I know that I need to snap out of it and live in the real world. Even if that means creating more fiction in my novels from the reality that I encounter.

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prompts found here

Trust 30 : Courage to Connect by David Spinks

The person I am dying to connect to, have coffee with and learn from is the mature side of me who knows how to balance her life, love, work, and creative endeavours.

I want to get in touch with that version of me because I think I am a long way from that version of me or have lost touch as to how to make sacrifices or never really learned how to.

I know that it's too hypothetical, but I am hoping that in five years, I will be looking at her in the mirror and that she would be smiling at me and saying, "What took you so long?" instead of "You're too late."

Alive-est by Sam Davidson : Anawangin Adventure

I think the boat ride to the large island we were supposed to visit made me feel the most alive. We were in a tiny boat that fit the four of us and a boatman. The water was salty and hitting us in the body and face because the swells were huge from the rainy weather. It didn't rain during that time but the waves were too big for larger boats to take us to the three islands. We ended up just going to one island but every time the boat went up a wave and then landed back down I did a whoop. It was like being in a jungle log jam and space shuttle at the same time.

I think that I definitely need to travel more. I plan to visit there with an waterproof camera so that I can actually take a picture of the rocks. It's very beautiful there. And probably we would go there during the not so rainy season. The place had the calm and the storm in it. I think I really need to get out of the city more. But I have to work harder so that next time I would actually have the money to pay my way.

We were ninja riding the waves since they were too big to swim against or with. We got sand everywhere, we almost drown in the foam, we saw each other go under and sputter. We laughed and we found that despite all the things we had to do come Monday, there were Saturdays to ninjaride or lazysurf in the ocean. 

Motivation gauge : Full

Need more shots like this :

#Trust 30 : Enthusiasm by Mars Dorian

I think I need to make more time for my writing. Oddly enough although the weather is rainy (hate rainy weather) and I have a lot of students at my day-job today and glitches are everywhere. I think I work up on the right side of the bed today. I think my enthusiasm makes time pass quickly and the quality of my classes are back to my highest level. I just need to watch my time and follow some of the more basic QA points.

I think this is the me that I need to be to make my life easier. The motivated, spirited (regardless of the weather), positive me. I need to stop being emphatic. Because I think the work environment that I have drains the enthusiasm from everyone. Honestly. I need a change of pace and work situation. But that would happen once the conditions I set have happened or come to fruition. My friend say I am choosy. But I am just starting to be. Before I took whatever came at me and it didn't work out. Being in my dream job doesn't pay well so like the many others I need to enslave myself and sacrifice to make sure that my future is set in a much better tone.

I love my job now. But I set the date 7 months and 9 nine days more. I am hoping that this sense of inevitability would be like me waiting for the weekend to come. My day job will change in the future. But my career won't be in an office or a shithole. It would be in my head, in front of my laptop (i need to buy him a new charger as soon as I can) and in the novels that I will make and FINISH.

I know I will have two jobs all my life as foretold by some. I don't feel like it makes me perform less in the other when I do focus on the other. I think they balance each other out. The other gives me materials, the other one is the therapy that I need to survive life.

I hope my Enthusiasm bar remains in the green. I really really need to be self-motivated since the people whom I bow down to for peanuts doesn't seem to grasp the concept that enthusiastic employees are happy ones and happy ones work the best in all kinds of situations.

#Trust 30 : You Know by Jen Louden

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. Absolve you to yourself, and you shall have the suffrage of the world. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

We live in a society of advice columns, experts and make-over shows. Without even knowing it, you can begin to believe someone knows better than you how to live your life. Someone might know a particular something better – like how to bake a three-layer molten coconut chocolate cake or how to build a website – but nobody else on the planet knows how to live your life better than you. (Although one or two people may think they do.) For today, trying asking yourself often, especially before you make a choice, “What do I know about this?”

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That hit me hard. T_T, I am beginning to think that I really need to move on from here to make sure that I get a better chance of helping my parents. At the rate things are going, the schedule is not enough to trump the money issues and the management mishaps. It's just amazing for me that I have stayed this long. 

Time to be an adult. 

I know that my mom is right that I should find an option that gives me a better chance of paying off my debts and saving up for my future. I need to make sure that I become street smart enough for my future. My friends are right that I am underemployed and underpaid. I might as well be underemployed but sufficiently paid. My parents are not getting any younger. I need to go somewhere where I don't have to buy water to make sure I don't go thirsty during my shift. 

My friends think I am in denial. 
I am aware of that. 
But once my condition for leaving Dante's Inferno is complete. I am hoping on the next train to Nirvana.

What do I know?

I know that I am not using up all of my potential and that time is running out for me to do it. I have let my fear get the better of me and that is not a great thing to be.

I know that I have my DARE TO BE GREAT MOMENTS coming and I should not let things like that pass me by.

#Trust 30 : Gwen Bell – 15 Minutes to Live

We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death, and afraid of each other. Our age yields no great and perfect persons. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am afraid to love before and I have always wanted to be able to live without it. I am surrounded by it and I want to write all that can be told about love.

But to be able to write about it, then it should be defined. For me, do truly define something then I have to eliminate what it is not. I never could understand why it was like that for me.

Lust was something that I mistook for love before. Curiosity was an even closer version of love for me. I thought that the reason why I liked to learn new things about that person and about what we can do together, those wondrous elaborate exercises, I thought that was love. But it wasn't. It was lust and curiosity and in the end, I lost the passion and I got bored. But I didn't leave, I stayed I waited for them to leave.

That is when I learned love is not obsession and it's not contentment. At least not so much the last one and definitely the first once is not healthy. I also learned that love is not patience. It could be complacent however and let years pass pining for the wrong man. Then I learned that fate was real and that signs were bullocks. If you are not fated for a person, you don't need signs to come to you, they would hit you one after the other and you would ignore it all the time. Every single one of them.

I learned that you can't ignore reality and society when you love someone, or think yourself in-love with him or her. You can remove yourself from the group and think that you are no longer bound in the rules that they have set for themselves. But you are always influenced by that, because you are them and they are you. It's almost genetic at times.

I wanted nothing to do with love after I woke up from the illusion. I wanted to write about it someday but not during those days. I didn't want to immortalize my bitterness in poetry once again. I wanted to make people cry because they were touched by a story and not by the pain that I reminded them because of the love poem that I wrote. I got my ego bruised. What did I know about love? All I whined about was that I wasted my time on the wrong men.

Now I wonder if I have learned what love really is. I don't want to compromise who I am, be quieter, nicer and more forgiving. I don't want to give him everything without expecting a lot from him. He thinks that he has been wronged by those who loved him before, he has no idea what I went through to get to this point. He doesn't know what I had to endure to survive it all. He doesn't know because I don't think he understands humor, sarcasm and that not everything is about him. I am afraid he can't handle who I am and I would crush him and not recognize him in the end. I am afraid that the love I have for him is compromising, content and settling for less than what I wanted.

I can't tell him that in my opinion love is brutally honest and unrelentingly sarcastic. At least in my case, that is love.

In the end all that I know about love is that I am yet to understand it.

+prompt from here+

#TRUST30 : Facing (and Fearing) by Dan Andrews

got the inspiration from Steff's blog


1. "What are the costs of inaction?"

I would be stuck in a job that doesn't pay enough for me to pay my bills, debts and save for my future. I would drown in debt.

2. "What kind of person do I want to be?"

I want to be a responsible adult who can handle her money well and support herself and save. I want to be a responsible daughter who can take care of her parents while they are getting closer to retirement.

3. "In the event of failure, could I generate a positive outcome?"

I always get up when I fail at something. I just need to *as per my friends* stop whinning and be a YES (wo)man. I should not just LEARN but ACTUALLY SACRIFICE some things that I thought would be relevant in the real world but is actually just idealism.
I need to SUIT UP.

*too bad I missed it. T_T,
But she got it from here http://ralphwaldoemerson.me/

http://ralphwaldoemerson.me/prompts

http://ralphwaldoemerson.me/laura-kimball