Mother's day in our house is on May 7th,
not the second Sunday of May like what every female-targeting advertising
announced it to be. It's simply because that is my Inay's birthday. This year I
went home for the weekend before our mother's day since her birthday landed on
a Monday. My little sister and I joined my parents for my dad's company outing.
I had to sleep in a tent and give up sleep all day Saturday to being in a tent
room and not being able to lounge around in comfort. But I think my parents liked
it there and there is a chance I would have to do this again. They didn't wake
me up for the bonfire which I was waiting for. They ended up with blurry night
pictures but they had fun while I rested so I guess it's win-win.
My mom, as most of my blogger friends and
readers already know is a superwoman for me. And I am not even kidding how many
kids she has raised apart from me and my brother. But this is a common occurrence in the province, the most rooted and stable aunt ends up bringing up
kids in lieu of grandmothers not being available. Still at 26, I don't feel
like a good daughter just yet. I am still about 20% of the woman my mother was
when she was 26. She was already a mother, married and has a job that she kept
all the way to her 50's. I am working towards getting confirmed in my new job,
that means regularized for us all, I am still working towards self-improvement
and perhaps spinsterhood (which I don't dread really with kind of men that have been churning up around me) and
I don't really know if I would be able to have children in the future. But
still I would never ever settle for anything else than the kind of love and
relationship my parents found in each other. They say that it is hard to put a
family together is yours was broken, then they haven't seen the girls who
struggle to find the man who would fit the bill and give them the love their
parents have. It's harder when you know that the standard set by your father is
too high.
On mother's day we give flowers, thank you
letters and gifts to our mother. I gave my mom two packs of babyruth. ^.^ I had
originally thought of giving my sister money to buy my mom something on the
actual international mother's day but I forgot. Nevertheless, I will make it up
to her by going to Star City on the 27th to help her watch my
cousins and sister go on the rides. I am not big on heights and would end up
taking pictures and watching their bags that is for certain but I wouldn't mind
except that I have to go to work at 9pm so I would have to sleep in then take
the rest of my time going to work.
In my life I have met different kinds of
mothers and have seen and felt different kinds of love from them. There are
those who are practical mothers, who show their love in teaching and nagging.
There are those smotherers who spoil their children to the point that their
child needs to rebel to be able to find a semblance of self or end up being
exactly like them only towards their own relationships. There are those who are
highlighters. They arrive on graduations, weddings, and major life events and
have to be away, by choice or preference, from their children and family most
of the time. Then there are those who are ghosts, they are there physically but
can't be reached out on to raise their children or to even look at them. But
then there are the HëirMöther,Stamom's and Dragon ladies. They are the extreme
versions of carino brutal. The first one would insist that there is only one
kind of person that is valuable in the world and that is the class from which
they belong and would control their child from being close to anyone else. The
Stamom would make sure their child follows just one way of living and the
values that they must follow are only those that are in their mother's book of
living and values. Lastly the Dragon Ladies would make their children the
perfect prodigy to the point that their social skills are lacking being of lack
of interaction with humans as supposed to instruments and learning devices.
No, these classifications are not to lower
down or belittle these kinds of mothers, it's just to enumerate the kinds that
they seem on the surface. But underneath all the tags is the heart that would
love from womb to tomb. Sometimes we forget that our mothers were women and
people apart from us before we came to be. We only know a side of them and not
all. As I grew older, I found that it was easier to understand my mother and to
admire her for all that she has done and all that she is doing. I realized that
in order to find a man who would hold me close in his sleep and would be my
life partners for decades and decades I would have to be a woman after my
mother. It was not the search for the perfectly imperfect man that was
difficult. It was being a woman who would be able to draw that kind of man's
attention towards me that was extremely hard. My mother and I are not the same,
though her love has a compartment in my heart. I tap into it whenever I feel
like life is not as great as I had hoped or when I am feeling exceptionally
vulnerable. Then there is that Inay folder in my head where all the recordings
of the nagging...este...life lesson video and audio files are stored for me to
play whenever I am thinking of whether or not I should do something. The sound
quality and the video quality are not as good as it was but my hearing is
better and my inner eye makes me understand the message better.
What I learned from my parents can't fit in
a book let alone a time blog.
But I would believe that when I have my own
child, if ever I do and have a husband, if ever he gets around to meeting me, I
would apply the things that I learned from my mother.
1.
When really mad do not speak.
Sometimes the words you would say wounds both side and leaves scars that would
never go away.
2.
When really happy laugh and
smile. Share your happiness with your friends and family and you would soon
realize that one small thing like a new pair of shoes and your daughter in a
dress had made ripples of good energy.
3.
Be honest in the way you do
your work and you would be rewarded with a trust that can not be shaken.
4.
Love like you are not asking
for anything in return or even thinking of it. Because the love that you send
out into the world, has a way of coming back like a boomerang.
5.
Always believe that you can do
it and if your self-confidence is not enough, don't leave it to chance, get
some back-up and pray.
There are more, like I said, that I learned
from mothers and women who are about to be mothers. But someday, even if I
never become one, I would continue to apply the things my mother taught me. I
just wish that one of these days I would fulfill my own dream of being able to
help out at home. One girl shoes step at a time I suppose.
To all the mothers out there, you are THE
WOMAN! Blessed are we your children for the love that you gave us and the
lessons you continually remind us. Thank you for the support and the sacrifice
that you have given and done for us. We might not always be that good at
expressing our gratitude but let it be known that without you, there wouldn't
be a me. A gazillion thanks for all that you are and all that you have made
us, your kiddos out to be.
