ARCHIVE : SamChronicles 1.6 : rude awakenings

Jan 4, 2010 6:18 PM

SamChronicles 1.6 : rude awakenings

by Pinaywriter

Sam: (wakes up) Mmmm...init... (touches her own bareness)
(opens her eyes) What the fuck? (suddenly gets up) (sees Rain) What the hell? (picks up her clothes in a hurry and clutches them to her exposed areas) Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Fuck. Damn.

Rain: Shit. (grabs a pillow to cover himself) Calm down, Sam...antha.

Sam: I don't even want to ask what happened.

Rain: (sighs roughly) I know. I'm sorry...

Sam: No. No. No. Shattap. No talking.

Rain: My head is spinning.

Sam: Which part of shattap do you not understand?

Rain: But...I...you...we...shit.

Sam: (stops panicking) (looks at Rain intently) (smiles) We shit? You are very bad with "mornings after" aren't you? (laughs)

Rain: (in his head) I just had sex with a crazy person. God. I don't remember a thing.

Sam: (stops laughing) Let me make this easy for you. (chuckles) Rain...this happens all the time. I remember everything and I have but great things to say about you and the entire package. BUT. I suggest you don't try to remember and keep whatever you remember to yourself. Because this (points to her chest and then to him back and forth) means nothing to me. You are just another drunken sexcapade for me. I am sure the feeling is mutual. So you need to get dressed...bathe if you must and I have to get up, brush my teeth and make breakfast for the other drunkards.

Rain: (shocked) (speechless)

Sam: (dressed in front of him)

Rain: (turns around) (picks up his clothes and gets dressed)(in his head)Holy.mother.of.all.that.lives...WOW. I had sex with that? Why the hell do I not remember anything? Damn. I am never drinking alchohol ever again. EVER.AGAIN.

Sam: (dressed up) (breathes in and out) (in her head)Must.not.fal.ter.must.not.look.weak.MUST.NOT.CRY.MUST.NOT.CRY...MUST...NOT...CRY...(fi

Rain: (turns around and sees her doing her breathing exercises) (gets the urge to hold her) (in his head) Remember, it means NOTHING to her. Calm.the.fuck.up.man!

Sam: (turns around and sees the guilt on his face) (approaches him and gives him a tap on the shoulder) Erase that look. My friends might think I rapped you or something. Be
cool. This is nothing unusual. Be a man.
(goes out of the room)

Rain: (in his head) You.have.got.to.be.kidding.me. One minute she is freaking out the next she is buddha calm. (shakes his head) I will never begin to understand women. (goes out of the room as well)

+++

Drive to makati:

Rain: Are you sure you are okay driving back?

Sam: Yeah. I love your car. It's cool.

Rain: Are you always this friendly to guys you've...you know.

Sam: Not really. But I have no choice. Don't worry. There is a 24 hour "I still know you" stage.

Rain: Huh?

Sam: For the next 24 hours I still know you. One second after you are blocked out of my mind. During the 24 hours I will decide whether or not I would delete you from my memory and thus render you a stranger or if you are good enough to keep as an acquaintance.

Rain: (a little pissed) Are you serious?

Sam: (nods) It's the way I cope. To each our own.

Rain: How many times have you done this.

Sam: Are you seriously asking me for my quota?

Rain: What? Quota?

Sam: My sex number.

Rain: No...well...I guess.

Sam: I would tell you if I knew. I forgot already.

Rain: (outloud) Youhavegottabekiddingme.

Sam: (laughs) Just go to sleep. Quit worrying about it.

Rain: (shakes his head) Women.

Sam: I know, right? (laughs)

Rain: (closes his eyes)

+++

Sam: We're here.

Rain: (groggy) Where? What?

Sam: Laguna. Where else are we supposed to be?

Rain:(astounshed) What we haven't left?

Sam: (laughs) Shattap. Get out. I am hungry.

Rain: Why are we still here?

Sam: We just got here, dummy.

Rain: (looks out the window) (sees the Freedom park) Shit.

+++

Disclaimer: This thing is completely fictional. I wrote with some of my friends' attitude in mind. But each person is a hodgepodge of many others. ^^ I tried to translate it to English (the taglish parts) but I found it less funny, so bear with the stupid translations. I didn't know what I was doing when I did that. ^^ If there are typos, forgive me. But feel free to point it out. If there is something in it that offends you, feel free to point it out. ^^ If there is something that makes you laugh, feel happy and suddenly nostalgic, feel free to point it out. Written: Feb 14, 2008 - Feb 2009

ARCHIVE : SamChronicles 1.5 what dreams may cum

Jan 4, 2010 6:18 PM
SamChronicles 1.5 what dreams may cum
by Pinaywriter

Rain: So, where to now?

Sam: Let's find my stupid little brother.

Rain: Where is he?

Sam: He told me he is at his org's booth.

Rain: And where is that?

Sam: I dunno. Let's look for it.

Rain: (sighs)

Sam: You can look around for cuties while I look for my brother. Just try to stay close. I don't want to have to look for you too.

They moved around the booths three times.

Sam: (on her phone) Baks, nasan ka ga?

Rain: (in his head) Naging batanguenya bigla?

Baks: I'm in S.U.

Sam: Pakset. Akala ko nasa booth ka.

Baks: Kanina.

Sam: Fine. Don't move. I'm stealing your house keys.

Baks: Hurry. I'm in the lobby.

Sam: (to Rain) Follow me.

++++

S.U.

Baks: Ang tagal mo.

Sam: Sorry, pwedeng mag-sorry?

Baks: (holds out his palm) Transient fee.

Sam: Keys first.

Baks: (holds out the key with his other hand) Sabay tayo.

Sam: Parang drug by-bus operation lang. (grabs the keys and places money on Baks' hand)

Baks: (looks at Rain) Boyfriend mo?

Sam: Nope. He's Rain.

Baks: Like the artista? Kamukha.

Rain: (in his head) I hate it when they say that.

Sam: (laughs) Yeah, he loves black too. Haha.

Baks: Nililigawan mo ba ang kapatid ko? (tease)

Sam: Baks!

Rain: Hindi pa. (winks)

Baks: So mababa pala standards mo.

Sam: (hits the back of Baks' head) Gaga. Magtigil ka.

Rain: (laughs)

Sam: Isa ka pa. (tries to hit Rain's head as well)

Rain: (stops her by the arm) Halik ang kapalit nya. Sige ka.

Sam: (big eyes) Ew.

Rain: Akala mo naman 'to.

Baks: Pakipot lang yan. (laughs) Pero ingat ka. Nakakalason ang laway nya. Me epektong nakaka-addict.

Sam: (high fives her brother) Up here. Down low (low five)

Rain: Pansin ko nga. Me stalker sya eh.

Baks: Alin? Madami sila.

Rain: There is more than one of that guy?

Baks: You met Rake? Hala, ate.

Sam: I know. I'll tell you some other time. I have to go to my alumni homecoming thingy. I'm hungry. Free food dun. Let's go.

Baks: Can I come?

Sam: Nope. Isa lang ang plus one. And mine is him.

Baks: Madaya.

Sam: Belat. Sige, I'll see you later. Oh btw, we are drinking at your place so hurry back. Capish?

Baks: (salutes) Shege. Fag hindi fa akoh lasheng.
(to Rain) Nice meeting you, Pare.

Rain: Sige.

Sam: Wait, picture pala. (poses with Baks)

*click*

Baks leaves.

Rain: Where to now?

Sam: Chino's.

Rain: Where is that?

Sam: I honestly don't remember.

Rain: What?

Sam: I don't eat there that often when I was studying.

Rain: Are we leaving my car here?

Sam: I guess we could. It won't be taken or anything.

Rain: Can't I park it at your brother's place?

Sam: I guess that's a better idea. Let's go there first.

Rain: (sighs) (in his head) This woman is exhausting to be with.

After parking the car...

Sam: (walks as if trying to remember where to go) (stops) There it is!

Rain: (in his head) Thank the gods.

Samantha comes into the restaurant first and there was an explosion of "ATE SAMMIE!"

Rain: (looks around the people who greeted Sam warmly) (in his head) At least there are some eye candy here.

Sam: (to Rain) Could you take our picture? (she hands him six digicams)

Rain: Are you kidding me?

Sam: It's a film org. We are picture-whores.

Rain: Hindi naman halata.

Ysa: Ate Sammie, wawa naman ang boyfriend mo. Dinala mo lang para taga-kuha ng picture.

Eds: Honga. Ang gwapo naman ng photographer mo.

Sam: Hayaan nyo sya. Camera naman nya ang crush kong tunay.

Eds: Honga. Ang laki ng camera nya.

Eds/Ysa: (laughs)

Sam: Mga bastos.

Eds: Uy, pa-virgin.

Ysa: Hindi mo pa nakikita ang camera nya noh?

Sam: Hindi no. Kuha nga sya ng picture.

Eds/Ysa: (laughs)

Sam: Tumigil nga kayo.

Rain finishes taking the pictures.

Eds: (approaches Rain) I'll take a picture of you two naman.

Sam: Wag na.

Eds: Ano ka ba naman, ninang? Para me remembrance kayo na nandito ka with your boyfriend.

Rain: Talaga lang ha? (looks at Sam for an explanation)

Sam: (whisper) Pagod na akong mag-deny. Just go with the flow. I will explain to them na lang some other time.

Rain: (laughs) Sabi mo eh...mahal ko.

Sam: (whisper) Don't call me that!

Ysa: Ayan na nagbubulungan na! Nakakingit ka, 'Te Sammie. Artistahin ang bf mo.

Rain: (mock shyness) Maganda naman ang mahal ko kaya bagay kami. (puts his arm around her shoulders - resting it on the chair)

Sam: (in her head) Batukan ko kaya 'to?
(tries to remove his arm but fails because he grips her) Shet. Malakas ka pala ha. Tingnan natin. (leans over and places her head on his shoulder) Patibayan tayong manyakis ka.

Rain: (starts to feel uncomfy) (in his head) Fuck.this. (strokes her hair) Let's see if you won't flinch. (kisses her hair)
(outloud) Amoy yosi ka mahal. (laughs)

Sam: (mock laugh) (elbows him)

Eds: Tama na. Naiinggit na kami.

Sam: (stands up) (Rain's hand get a hold of her hand) I need to pee. You wanna come with? (smirk)

Rain: (let's go of her hand) Bilisan mo ha. Baka ma-miss kita.

Sam: (pinches his cheek) Ang sweeeet sweeet sweet mo talaga. (turns away towards the bathroom)
(in her head) Adik na yun. Must.not.kill.him.he.has.the.cam.me.ra.
(sighs)

Eds: Kelan pa kayo ni Ninang?

Rain: Why do you call her that? (tries to avoid personal questions)

Eds: She was my sponsor when I was joining the org. You didn't answer my question. Is it too personal?

Rain: Ah...hindi ko rin alam e. (puts a finger on his lips) Sikreto lang natin ha. But I met her through my bestfriend. They are officemates in Makati. My friend, Jes brought her over to my place in QC. We had a drinking party and before I knew it, I was hooked.

Ysa: Lagi talagang me uwi si 'Te Sammie. Opps.

Rain: (laughs) Okay lang. She already told me.
(in his head)
What level of slut do you have to be for people to actually say that about you so casually. Tactless din pala ang mga 'to. No wonder. With a big sister like Sam.

Sam: (comes back)

Rain: Bilis ha.

Sam: (whispers to his ear) You have no idea how fast I can really be.

Rain: (*lunok laway*) Ah ga-...

Sam: (puts her hand over his mouth) Don't even think about saying that.

Rain: (removes her hand) Naghugas ka ba?

Sam: Hinde.

Rain: (wipes his lips) Kadiri ka.

Sam: Maarte. Syempre naghugas ako. Kakain pa ako noh. Galit- galit muna, ayan na ang fudang. I'm famished.

Rain: (in his head) Kahit hanggang mamayang gabi pwede.

After the homecoming dinner and other churvalu...

Rain: Where to now?

Sam: Drinking session. I have to either be drunk or naked during this time.

Rain: That can be arranged. Gusto mo both pa eh.

Sam: Esusmi?

Rain: (laughs)

Sam: (on her phone) Hello, where are you guys? I want to get pissed drunk na?

Tomo: (on the phone) I am right behind you.

Sam: (turns around) TOMO! (hugs Tomo)
Perj! (hugs Perj) Dan! (hugs Dan)

Rain: (in his head) Chronic hugger!

Tomo: Hi Pare, Tomo, tol. (holds out his hand in greeting)

Rain: (shakes his hand) Rain, tol. Nice to meet you.

Perj: Lola, ipakilala mo rin kami.

Sam: Ay, oo nga. Rain, si Perj at si Dan, my grandkids. Syempre si Tomo, tropa ko since freshman year.

Perj and Dan: (waves at Rain) Hi.

Rain: Hi din.

Sam: Picture us.

Rain: (takes the picture) (in his head) Naturingang English teacher naglalapse ang grammar. Sobrang pa-cute. Bwisit.

Sam: Tara na. Moni. moni. moni. moni.

Perj: (joins in) Moni! Moni! Moni!

Tomo: Money nyo?

Sam: Accordin to tradition ikaw ang magpapainom. (laughs)

Tomo: Fine. Let's go. Baka magkaroon na naman ng krisis ng yelo.

After buying the ingredients to the "Traidor" drink they all went to Baks' apartment to mix and make the chicha.

Rain: (looks at the glass) Isang baso lang.

Perj: It's tradition. Bonding moments ito. Hindi paunahang malasing.

Sam: (nods in agreement)

Rain: Bakit ako ang una?

Sam: Welcome drink mo. To the Gamma Alpha Gamma Omega. G.A.G.O. fraternity.

Rain: (drinks) Di ba para lang sa lalaki ang frat? (coughs) (drinks)

Tomo: Hindi mo ba alam? Dating lalaki yan si Sam? Kaya nga Sam ang nickname nya. Ginawa lang Samantha nung nagparetoke na.
(drinks)

Rain: (laughs) Retokada. (points at Sam)

Sam: Hala. Mahina ka ba sa hard?

Rain: Hindi ah. Kayang-kaya.

Baks: Bantayan yan. Baka magkalat. Ikaw ate ang ipupunas ko pag nagsuka yan. (drinks)

Sam: (to Rain) Oh, wag ka daw magpapakalasing. (drinks)

Perj: Baka ma-rape ka ng hindi mo namamalayan. (laughs) (drinks)

Dan: Ohanga. Mabagsik pa naman yang si Lola. (drinks)

Sam: Shattap. (drinks)

Rain: Matibay ako. (drinks the first half) Kayang-kaya. (drinks the last half)

Tomo: Sabi mo yan ha. (drinks)

and the toma continues...

+++

The next morning...

Rain: (awakens) Oh...my...head...
(holds his head) (tries to get up) Bigat...(sees hair) Whatdafak? (moves the head away) (gets up) Whatdaf--- (realizes he is naked)

(in his head) SHIT!

+++

Disclaimer: This thing is completely fictional. I wrote with some of my friends' attitude in mind. But each person is a hodgepodge of many others. ^^ I tried to translate it to English (the taglish parts) but I found it less funny, so bear with the stupid translations. I didn't know what I was doing when I did that. ^^ If there are typos, forgive me. But feel free to point it out. If there is something in it that offends you, feel free to point it out. ^^ If there is something that makes you laugh, feel happy and suddenly nostalgic, feel free to point it out. Written: Feb 14, 2008 - Feb 2009

ARCHIVE : SamChronicles 1.4 what dreams may come

Jan 4, 2010 6:18 PM

SamChronicles 1.4 what dreams may come

by Pinaywriter

*UPLB Freedom Park*

Sam: We're here.

Rain: (groggy) Where? What?

Sam: Where else are we supposed to be?

Rain:(checks his body) I'm alive. (astounshed)(touches the dashboard) My car is intact.

Sam: (laughs) Shattap. Get out. I am hungry.

Rain: What time is it?

Sam: Five. Just enough time to catch some people and some grub as well. (texts while she talks and walks) (trips)

Rain: (holds her by the arm) Do you really have to text while you walk?

Sam: I am trying to find as many friends as soon as possible. I have less than 24 hours to stay here.

Rain: So many friends so little time, huh?

Sam: You have no idea. (looks up from her texting) Let's find something to eat.

Someone screams from behind them. Samantha turns around and shrieks back.

Rain: What the hell?!?

Sam: Vaklaaah!!!

JV: VAklah ka jan. Ang taba mo.

Sam: (pouts) Wala kasi akong konsumisyon.

JV: So mabait ka pala. (shakes Rains hand)

Sam: Esusmi. Hindi ko sya boyfriend.

Rain: Anong hindi?

Sam: (raises an eyebrow at him) Shattap.

JV: Oh my god, gurl. Naunahan mo na naman akong magka-papa. Kalurkie. Wala ba yang bading nakapatid.

Sam: Nope, sorry bawal ang bakla sa Cavite. Hehe.

JV: Esusmi. Marami akong kilalang Cavitenyo na Cavitenya talaga sa totoong buhay.

Sam: (laughs) Pa-hug naman.

JV and Sam hug and Rain had to shake his head.

Rain: (in his head) She must really missher friends.

Sam: Rain, be a dear and take a picture. Please.

JV: Pwedeng all-together tayo?

Rain: Sure. (takes a picturea)

JV: Wow. Nahiya daw ako sa camera mo.

Rain: (smiles)

JV: My gosh. Wag ka ngumiti ng ganyan.

Sam: Hoy bakla, ang t-back mo baka mahalit. (laughs)

Rain: (becomes uncomfy) (shifts his weight from one foot to the other)

Sam: Oh my. Don't tell me you are homophobic. Papahalikan kita sa lahat ng gay friends ko. Makita mo. Bawal ang homophobic dito.

Rain: Hindi ako homophobic.

JV: Sige nga patunayan mo, pa-kiss. (laughs)

Rain: Wala naman ganyanan.

Sam and JV: (laughs) (high-five)

Sam: Oh. We have to go na gurl. So many friends so little time. Sana magkasalubong pa tayo later.

JV: Sure, sure. (Kisses Sam on the cheek)

Sam: (gives Rain a tap in the back) Thanks for not bolting when we teased you.

Rain: (wipes his forhead in mock fear) Akala ko ma-rerape na ako.

Sam: Asa ka pa. (holds on to his right arm)

Rain: (in his head) Ano naman 'to?

Sam: (laughs) Try to relax, Rain. Not every gurl who holds on to you is in love. I just need to protect you.

Rain: From what?

A group of gurls walk past them and oggle Rain. They burst in hypergiggles once they passed.

Sam: From that. Hordus freshwomanalis. They travel in groups. Often love pink. Have the irritating ability to laugh in unison in freaking squeaky voices.

Rain: (laughs) (in his head) They are cute.

Sam: I know you think they are cute. But wait til they pounce on you.

Rain: (in his head) Now that would be a treat. (laughs)

Sam: Ew. You were actually thinking about that, weren't you?

Rain: (in his head) Duh.
(outloud) Of course not, what do you take me for?

Sam: Typical. I take you for a typical man. Dicktus Egorensis.

Rain: Do you really have to make a pseudo-scientific name for everybody?

Sam: Yes. It's a particular hobby of mine that started when I found out what sus scrofa domestica means. Come to think of it some men are sus scrofa others are sus domestica.

Rain: You lost me.

Sam: Sus scrofa is for wild boars. Sus domestica is for swine, you know the kind that are raised in swine farms. I think...

Rain: I thought you were a writing major.

Sam: I have agriculturists for friends. And vets. So some of the taxonomy gibberish rubbed off.

Rain: Interesting. (raises his camera and takes a picture of her)

Sam: (shocked) Try to ask for permission when you are taking my picture.

Rain: It's called a moment. In layman's terms, a stolen shot.
(in his head) I am capturing you as an intelligent person who never shuts up.

Sam: (raises her eyebrow at him)

Rake: Samantha!

Sam: (recognizes the voice and drags Rain by the hand then bolts)(whispers) Oh c'mon!

Rain: (shocked but tries to keep up)What the heck?

Samantha dragged Rain into one of the booth that were more crowded.

Sam: Hi, can we sit here for a bit?

Gurl: Sure, do you just want some coffee?

Sam: (looks at the sign) Free coffee. Cool.

Gurl: (gives them two styrofoam cups with coffee) Here you go.

Rain: (still breathing heavily) Do you mind explaining why you dragged me here? Please don't tell me you had a sudden urge to drink java. I heard someone call you.

Sam: (looks around nervously) I know someone called out. I know that voice anywhere.

Rain: Are you hiding from someone?

Sam: Duuuhhh. (still looking at the crowd while hiding behind Rain)

Rain: Do you mind telling me what he looks like?

Sam: I don't know.

Rain: What?

Sam: I don't know what he looks like now. Because sometimes he is bald sometimes he isn't.

Rain: Do you at least have a picture of him?

Sam: Do I look like the kind of person who would keep the pictures of her exes on her at all times?

Rain: I'm just trying to help.

Sam: Try taking random pictures of the crowd. He might be there somewhere. We can't leave here until the coast is clear.

Rain: You really don't want to bump into this guy, huh?

Sam: Let's just put it this way. I made a promise to him that if I am single and he is single and we are in the same place that he would get some.

Rain: Sounds like a promise to me. (laughs)

Sam: Shattap.

Rain: (laughs while taking pictures) You should keep your promises you know.

Sam: You are not helping!

Rain: (laughs harder) (turns around and takes a picture of Sam) You look cute when you are worried.

Sam: (tries to cover her face) Stoppit!

Rake: Sam?

Sam: (whisper) Shite.

Rain: (turns around) Can we help you?

Rake: (ignores Rain) I thought I saw you. I called out but you disappeared. It's a good thing that you guys ended up in our booth.

Sam: Yeah. Just.peachy.

Rain: Well, thank you for the coffee. (places the styrocup down and tries to usher Sam away)

Rake: I was talking to her. (holds Sam by her other arm)

Rain: (pulls) We still have a lot of people to meet up with.

Sam: (speechless)
(in her head) SAY SOMETHING!
(nods)

Rake: Wala ka sa teritoryo mo.

Rain: I know. But I don't care. Excuse us.

Rake: Whatever. I'll talk to you later, sweetie.

Sam: (in her head) SWEETIHIN MONG MUKHA MO, BANSOT!
(outloud) Uh-ha.
(nods)
(tripped when she turned around)

Rain: Woah. (puts his arm around her shoulders)

Sam: Sorry. (puts her hand over her mouth)

Rain: (in his head) What did I do now?
(outloud) Are you okay?

Sam:(muffled)I.am.such.an.i.di.ot.com.ming.back.he.eeere. (wants to sit down)

Rain: Wai-wai-wait. Let's get back to the car. There are people here. You can cry inside the car.

Sam: Cry? (looks up)

Rain: (sees that she is actually smiling)
Crazy girl.

Sam: (her smile becomes wider) Are we far enough from them?

Rain: (looks back) Yea, I think so.

Sam: (laughs outloud - think maniac roll over the ground laughter)

Rain: (in his head) Great. She chooses now to snap. Jeeeesss...you owe me big time.

Samantha doubles over laughing to her heart content. Then she sits down on the grass like she was meditating.

Rain: I am scared to ask what you are doing.

Sam: I am trying to regain my chakra.

Rain: (in his head) This gurl is definitely out of it. Great. She gets weirder every minute. No wonder this freak and Jes hit it off. Birds of the same feather...But I'm with her, aren't I?

Sam: You are in your head again.

Rain: I am most of the times.

Sam: I was never like that. I used to think outloud all the time. It got me into a few arguments with random people.

Rain: Are you still doing that?

Sam: Unfortunately, the speaking outloud part never went away. But I learned how to say things in my head more often.

Rain: Ah...
Sam: Don't say Ah, ganun. Masasaktan ka sa akin.

Rain: Gesh. Who is this ass who is the reason behind that dumb rule.

Sam: My last boyfriend. It's his default expression.

Rain: That guy?

Sam: No, that guy was nothing compared to the last one at least in the way that I loved them. Perv back there was a rebound. Eros, the "Ah, ganun" guy is...let's just say call him my last boyfriend.

Rain: There would be more boyfriends I am sure.

Sam: No. I mean it by last boyfriend. He is my last.

Rain: Do you plan to have girlfriends instead?

Sam: What do you think Jes is to me?

Rain : (chokes) What?

Sam: Guillible ka. Walang guillible sa dictionary.

Rain: So you are not a..?

Sam: And so what if I am. (shakes her head) I can't. Women are the reason why I can't be a lesbian.

Rain: Huh?

Sam: THey are crazy. Don't you agree.

Rain: (in his head) YES!
(outloud) Not all of you are.

Sam: Liar. (laughs)

Rain: You are definitely different.

Sam: Thank you.

Rain: So were to?

Sam: I have to find my bestfriend.

Rain: We won't find him sitting down.

Sam: He'll find us. (sends an sms) You can go ahead and take some pictures or something. I'll stay here for a while.

Rain: (points his camera at Sam) If you say so.

Samantha takes the camera from him and ends up pulling him towards her.

GK: Eherm. Am I missing something here?

Sam: Gerroff.

Rain: let.go.camera.

Sam: Oh. (gives Rain the camera)

Rain: (rubs his neck)

GK: Explain.

Sam: Uh...this is Rain.

GK: That is not an explanation.

Sam: I took his camera from him.

GK: Ah. Akala ko oa na pagiging exhibitionist mo. Kahit me araw nakikipagano ka sa park.

Sam: Tactlessness is a must ba today?

GK: (laughs) Hi, I'm Gemini Katana. My friends call me GK.

Rain: Nice name.

GK: It's not my real name. It's an alias. My real name is mabantot. (sits beside Sam)

Sam: Pa-hug. (hugs GK) Na-miss kita.

Rain: (in his head) Does she really have to hug everyone?

Sam: Rain, favor. Isang picture naman jan.

Rain: (takes a picture)

Sam: Isa pa. (poses like she is about to kiss GK)

Rain: (in his head) You.have.got.to.be.kid.ding.me.

GK: Incest! (mock disgust)

Sam: He! Halikan kita ng totoo jan eh.

GK: Wagpo.wagpo.

Rain: (in his head)You.have.got.to.be.kid.ding.me.

Sam: (looks at her watch) Shite. I have to go (kisses GK on the cheek) I have to find my darn orgmates.

GK: Would I see you again later?

Sam: I don't know. But I am staying at my brother's. You can sleep over if you want.

GK: I don't know what time I would want to crash.

Sam: Just text me. You can drop by any time.

GK: Parang bahay mo lang noh. Nakita mo na ba kapatid mo?

Sam: (slaps her forehead)

GK: (laughs) Go look for him first)

Sam: Ok. See you when I see you (kisses him again before GK leaves)

Rain: Do you really have to kiss him?

Sam: He's my bestfriend. I hug everybody else. Him, I kiss.

Rain: Even in front of your boyfriend?

Sam: You're not my boyfriend so it's okay. But yes, I kiss him in front of my boyfriends.

Rain: That explains why you are single. (laughs)

Sam: Shattap.

+++

Disclaimer: This thing is completely fictional. I wrote with some of my friends' attitude in mind. But each person is a hodgepodge of many others. ^^ I tried to translate it to English (the taglish parts) but I found it less funny, so bear with the stupid translations. I didn't know what I was doing when I did that. ^^ If there are typos, forgive me. But feel free to point it out. If there is something in it that offends you, feel free to point it out. ^^ If there is something that makes you laugh, feel happy and suddenly nostalgic, feel free to point it out. Written: Feb 14, 2008 - Feb 2009

ARCHIVE : SamChronicles 1.3 : Traveling blues

Jan 4, 2010 6:18 PM

SamChronicles 1.3 : Traveling blues

by Pinaywriter

Rain: (in his head)
Women and their rules. Just give me a few days and you will be following my rules.

Sam: (waves her hand in front of his face) Earth to Rain!

Rain: Oh.

Sam: I am in a bit of a hurry. I need to beat the damn rally that is supposed to clog Ayala today. So I would appreciate it if you tell me now if you do know how to get to Laguna or not. Because seriously, I do not have time to get lost today.

Rain: Don't you know the way.

Sam: (slaps her forehead) That's it. You are not coming with me.

Rain: Wait. I can get a map.

Sam: Don't bother. I am in too much of a hurry to drag you. I will take the fx then the bus. You. Stay here. Figure out how to get to LB on your own.

Samantha walks away.

Rain: (in his head)
Damn. I knew I did not think this through.

(outloud)

Sam, wait.

Samantha stops and turns around.

Sam: (irritated) Seriously, Rain. I am not in the mood to be late.

Rain: How hard is it to get to Laguna? I can figure it out. I have been there once before to a resort. I am sure I can take you there, no problem.

Sam: (in her head) This guy can't just give it up, can he?

(outloud)
Fine, where did you park your car?

Rain: Outside.

Rain ushers Samantha to his car. He opens the door for her.

Sam: Chivalry is not dead.

Rain: (laughs) (in his head)
I actually just don't want you to bang my door that is why I am opening and closing it myself.

Sam: Nice. (touches the interior)

Rain: (in his head) Yeah. Put your print in it why don't ya. Igh.

Sam: Okay. If you are going to space out all day I might as well leave you here and drive off.

Rain: (snaps out of his thought bubble)
Oh, sorry. I was just...

Sam: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we can talk about whatever is bothering you when we are ACTUALLY in Lb grounds. Ayt?

Rain: Hindi ka demanding noh? [You're pretty demanding, aren't you?]

Sam: (irritated) Any other day I would have a witty retort but right now, I am in a hurry. So please. Two words. HAUL ASS.

Rain: Yes, ma'am.
(in his head)
Why am I doing this?

Rain's inner voice: Because Jes told you to.

Rain: (in his head) Women are so manipulative.
(shakes his head)

Sam: Wake me up when we get out of the city. (closes her eyes)

Rain: Oh no, you don't! The navigator doesn't get to sleep.

Sam: Do you want me to drive instead?

Rain: Do you have a license?

Sam: (takes her license out of her bag)

Rain: Fine. (he pulls up and gets out of the car)
(in his head)
If I have to go through with this, I might as well not get too tired.

Sam: (gets out and gets behind the wheel)
Seatbelt, please.

Rain: Don't drive too fast.

Sam: (gave him a wide grin) Me, fast? Oh please. (faces the road) Seriously. Wear your seatbelt. It's an O.C. thing.

Rain: Fine. (wears his seatbelt) Happy now?

Sam: Yep. (steps on the gas)

Rain: (almost fits the dashboard) Woah! Watch it!

Sam: (laughs) Just checking if you have your seatbelt on.

Rain: (in his head) Crazy woman. Why I ever let myself loose that drinking bet, I will never begin to understand. Now I am stuck with this loudmouth who is incapable of driving a stick.

Sam: (turns on the cd player)

Jazz music plays

Rain: (yawns)

Sam: Eurgh. (turns on the radio)

Hiphop music plays. Dilemma plays in the background.

Sam: Ah...perfect.

Rain: (in his head) Must.not.hit.my.head.on.the.window.glass.

Sam: You can go to sleep if you want. I don't mind. I'll wake you up when we get there.

Rain: Or when we get lost.

Sam: Yes...and would that include if we get into an accident too?

Rain: (chokes)

Sam: I'm kidding. Relax. Go ahead. Sleep.

Rain fights against his own exhaustion but for some reason, sleeping was much better than listening to distorted rapping and pseudo-singing.

+++

Disclaimer: This thing is completely fictional. I wrote with some of my friends' attitude in mind. But each person is a hodgepodge of many others. ^^ I tried to translate it to English (the taglish parts) but I found it less funny, so bear with the stupid translations. I didn't know what I was doing when I did that. ^^ If there are typos, forgive me. But feel free to point it out. If there is something in it that offends you, feel free to point it out. ^^ If there is something that makes you laugh, feel happy and suddenly nostalgic, feel free to point it out. Written: Feb 14, 2008 - Feb 2009

ARCHIVE : SamChronicles 1.2 In the Making

Jan 4, 2010 6:18 PM

SamChronicles 1.2 In the Making

by Pinaywriter

02.15.08
Tranzilvania Elevator

Sam: (singsong voice) I'm going to elbi... I'm going to elbi... I'm going to elbi.

Jes: (joins in) She going to elbi... She's dating my brother... They'll end up drunk...

Sam: Shattap. I am fleeing him. Just so you know. If you tell him. I swear I will never log you in ever again. You will be late forever too.

Jes: You are making me choose between you and my brother.

Sam: Oh please, Jes. He is not really your brother. Don't keep calling him that.

Jes: Hey, don't rain your angst on me. Rain and I are family. We were just born to different parents.

Sam: Whatever. But if he tags along with me, I will not be able to have fun. I have plans gurl!

Jes: But didn't you say you wanted to avoid Rake. Then bring Rain along so you would have someone with you the whole time.

Sam: If this backfires, I will kill you.

Jes: No it won't. I promise. Oh, and you can even get him to pay for everything.

Sam: I am sleeping at my brother's. Where will he sleep?

Jes: He has a car, you guys could hurry up and give me a playmate in one of those hotsprings places there. Or in a courthouse.

Sam: (struggles not to hit Jes) Urh...must.control.temper. Must.not. kill.bestfriend.

Samantha and Jes get off the elevator.

Rain: Hey.

Jes: Ay may excited.

Sam: (to jes) Shattap.
(to rain) Hey. Ang aga mo naman.

Rain: Baka kasi takasan mo ako.

Sam: Mag-goodbye ka na sa perfect attendance mong bruha ka.

Jes: You guys enjoy ha. Una na ako.

Rain: Oh, Ryan is waiting for you.

Sam: Digital ang karma.

Jes: Ihatechu. Bakit mo sinama dito?

Rain: Para hindi ako mukhang jologs na naghihintay dito. Kanina pa kaming 1.

Sam: Do you really want to go?

Rain: I brought my camera. (shows her his cam)

Sam: (wipes imaginary drool) Okay, you're in. But one complain from you and you die. Capish?

Rain: (salutes)

Sam: Oh and you will be my official photographer.

Rain: Ah ganun?

Sam: (suddenly pissed off) DON"T EVER SAY THAT LINE. (breathes heavily to calm down)

Rain: What's wrong?

Sam: I just remember someone when I hear that. Rule number two: Never say "Ah Ganun." in my presence.

Rain: Are there more of these rules?

Sam: Yep. A lot more.

+++

Disclaimer: This thing is completely fictional. I wrote with some of my friends' attitude in mind. But each person is a hodgepodge of many others. ^^ I tried to translate it to English (the taglish parts) but I found it less funny, so bear with the stupid translations. I didn't know what I was doing when I did that. ^^ If there are typos, forgive me. But feel free to point it out. If there is something in it that offends you, feel free to point it out. ^^ If there is something that makes you laugh, feel happy and suddenly nostalgic, feel free to point it out. Written: Feb 14, 2008 - Feb 2009

ARCHIVE : SamChronicles 1.1 R and R

Jan 4, 2010 6:18 PM

SamChronicles 1.1 R and R

by Pinaywriter

Samantha comes out of the office. Lights a cigarette.

Sam: (looks up) Shet. Is it raining?

Jes: Laway mo lang yun. [That's just your saliva.]

Ash: Ang taas naman ang inabot ng laway nya. It's the aircon unit, dummy. [Her saliva can't got that high. It's the aircon unit, dummy.]

Sam: (sighs) Thank you, Lord. (looks up and gives the sky a thumbs up)
A black car stops in front of the building.

Jes: I love black. My name is...Rain. (laughs)

Ash: Kanino yayn? [Whose car is that?]

Sam: Sa kafatid ni gaga. [Her so-called brother.]

Jes: Uyy...alam. [Hmm...so you do know...]

Ryan comes out of the car.

Jes: WTF? Why are you here?

Ryan: Your brother fetched me.

Rain gets off the driver side.

Rain: Too bad it didn't rain.

Sam: Kanina umulan...ng laway ko. [It rained saliva earlier.]

Girls: (laughs)

Rain: Hatid na namin kayo. [We'll give you a ride.]

Sam: Can't. I have to go to Diliman. My brother has my digicam.

Rain: (scratches the back of his neck) What da--? (thinks) I could drop the kids at the apartment then you and I can both go to Diliman.

Ash: Excuse me. Merong out of the equation dito. [Excuse me, there is someone who's out of that equation. How about me?]

Sam: It's okay. I can manage. I'll go ahead gurls. (kisses Ash and Jes goodbye)

Ryan: Si Rain wala? [How about Rain? Doesn't he get a kiss?]

Sam: Wag na. Nakakalason ang laway ko. Amoy kimchi. [My breath smells like kimchi. It's poisonous now.]

Girls: (laughs)

Samantha walks away.

Sam: (mentally hitting her head for not saying yes) Lord. Temptationess. Ihatechu. Ihatechu right now.

Sam's phone: Happy na sana ang Valentines ko kasi... [I could have had a happy Valentine's Day...]

Sam: Kasi you saw me? Hay naku boi. Istap.me. Tigilan.ako! (murmurs to self) This.is.the.year.for.self.improvement.Umayos.ka.Sa.man.tha.U.ma.yos.ka.

Sam's phone: Why do you need your digicam ba?

Sam: (types) I have to go to my alma mater tomorrow. Febfair sa UPLB.

Sam's phone: Dapat talaga sa UP na lang ako nag-aral. [I almost attended that school.]

Sam: (types) Too bad. E di sana masasamahan mo ako tomorrow. [Too bad, then you would've been able to go with me there tomorrow.]

Sam's phone: Bawal ba sa school mo ang hindi alumni? [Are non-alumnis banned there?]

Sam: (types)Hindi noh. Anybody is welcome to join in the festivities pero tomorrow puro Homecoming na etc. Kaya nakaka-OP. [Not really. Everyone can join in the festivities but it's mostly homecoming parties so strangers tend to feel out of place.]

Sam's Phone: OP sa UP. ;-/ Pero pwede bang sumama? [OP in UP. But can tag along?]

Sam: (thinks) Shet.ka.Lord.Shet.Pak.Shet.
(types)Ikaw...bahala ka. [It's up to you.]

Sam's phone: It's a date then.

Sam: (screams) Shet!


+++

Disclaimer: This thing is completely fictional. I wrote with some of my friends' attitude in mind. But each person is a hodgepodge of many others. ^^ I tried to translate it to English (the taglish parts) but I found it less funny, so bear with the stupid translations. I didn't know what I was doing when I did that. ^^ If there are typos, forgive me. But feel free to point it out. If there is something in it that offends you, feel free to point it out. ^^ If there is something that makes you laugh, feel happy and suddenly nostalgic, feel free to point it out. Written: Feb 14, 2008 - Feb 2009

ARCHIVE: SamChronicles 1.0 Of all the bloody days to be alone

Jan 4, 2010 6:18 PM

SamChronicles 1.0 Of all the bloody days to be alone

by Pinaywriter

Disclaimer: This thing is completely fictional. I wrote with some of my friends' attitude in mind. But each person is a hodgepodge of many others. ^^ I tried to translate it to English (the taglish parts) but I found it less funny, so bear with the stupid translations. I didn't know what I was doing when I did that. ^^ If there are typos, forgive me. But feel free to point it out. If there is something in it that offends you, feel free to point it out. ^^ If there is something that makes you laugh, feel happy and suddenly nostalgic, feel free to point it out. I wrote this Feb 14, 2008 til Feb 2009. Three guesses why it's a love story. ^^

+++

Enter Samantha. Carrying her brown bag and a bottle of Nature's Harvest and an Asian asado siopao in a 7-11 plastic bag.

Sam: (opens siopao sauce container with her teeth) Shet! (siopao sauce squirts) It's official. This is not Valentine's Day. This is the day I spilled siopao sauce on my new blouse! (loooks up in the sky) Thank you Lord. Thank you lang ha. Keep it coming lang. So many blessings noh. No boyfriend. No date. No more money. No nothing. But now, A STAIN. What more could an under-paid, newly-single, unattractive weirdo ask for? Maybe the sky could fall? Or the earth could stop revolving. No? Okay, I was just asking. (looks at her watch) sh*t, I'm late!

Samantha enters her office

Sam's phone:In life, you can have two love...One who changes the way you see yourself and the world and the other who puts you back together after you have lost the first...Happy Vday!

Sam: Ugh. (rolls her eyes) Ex boyfriends. Erase.Erase.Erase.

Sam's phone:...

Sam: Huh? (keeps scrolling down) What? Ano daw? Pa-anime naman 'tong 'sang to! Wag mong sabihing crush kita. Nakuuu...magsalita ka.
[What? What did he say? You anime-look-alike! Don’t think you can get away with this just because I have a crush on you. Say something!]

Sam's phone:Sana umulan mamaya. Para me excuse ako para sunduin kayo ng sister ko.
[I hope it rains later so that I have an excuse to fetch you and my “sister”.]

Sam: (gasps) (looks up; eyes closed) Lord, do not attack my peace of mind. This.is.the.year.for.self.improvement.Ayoko.munang.ma.in.lab.Ang.kor.ni.mo. [I.don’t.want.to.fall.in.love.This.is.so.corny.]sa.bi.ko.na.a.yo.ko.ng.la.la.ki.muna. [I.said.that.I.don’t.want.men.right.now.]cra.zeee.
(types on her phone) Cannot be. No payong. I'm workin. [It can’t rain. I have no umbrella. I am working now.]

Sam's phone:Sori. Txt u l8r. I'l b singng. Pra umulan. [Sorry. I’ll sms you later. I’ll sing so it would rain.]

Sam: (types) Whatever. (send)Hay...kunyari ka pang lukaret ka. [What am I saying? I think I’m going nuts.]

Ash: Stop saying your thoughts out loud.

Sam: Sorry naman. Pwedeng magsorry? [I’m sorry. *sarcastic*]

Ash: Sino ba yan? [Who’s that?]

Sam: Papa. [Just some guy.]

Ash: Rake?

Sam: Excuse me. So yesterday.

Ash: Bakit inaaway mo? [Why are you fighting with him?]

Sam: Inaaway ko ang sarili ko. [I am fighting with myself.]

Ash: Hobby mo 'yan. [Yeah, I notice you like doing that.]

Sam: I know. Pwede uling magsori? [*sarcastic* So sorry.]

Ash: Hanggang dalawang sorry lang. Max ka na for today. [Two apologies a day. You maxed yours for today.]

Sam: Cra.zee? Kailangan me limit ang lahat ng bagay? [Crazy. Do we really need to limit apologies now?]

Ash: Hmf. Oa ka today. [Hmf. You seem overacting today.]

Sam: You don't understand. Double ka kasi. [You don't understand. You’re a duo.]

Ash: Ha?

Sam: See?

Ash: Ano nga? [What do you mean?]

Jes: Hindi mo daw maintindihan kasi me boypren ka. [You can’t understand because you have a boyfriend.]

Sam: Thank you, my love.

Jes: Always here to help, mah dear.

Ash: So retarded ako kasi me boyfriend ako. Eh si Jes naman me boyfriend din ah. Bakit sya me karapatang ma-gets ka? [So I am retarded because I have a boyfriend? Jes has a boyfriend, too! How come she understands you?]

Jes: Correction. Wala.akong.boy.friend. Akala lang nya boyfriend ko sya. [Correction, I don’t have a boyfriend. He just thinks he’s my boyfriend. ]

Ash: Eh ka-ano-ano mo si Xano? [Huh, so what’s the deal with you and Xano?]

Jes: Pet. Boylet. Rebound. [Rebound guy.]

Ash: (rolls her eyes) Karma. Digital yan. [Careful. Karma can be a b*tch. A fast b*tch.]

Sam: In my case, hindi lang digital. mega-pixel pa. Ang lech na si Rake nabuhay namang muli ang hasang. May balak na naman atang magpagahasa sa akin.. Ayoko. I don't recycle. [In my case, it’s hyperspeed! That a-hole Rake wants to hook up with me again. No-no. I don’t recycle. ]

Ash: Akala ko ba may babae na yun? [I thought he has another girl?]

Sam: Murky na daw sila. [Rocky relationship.]

Jes: Pano si Kuya? [How about my “brother”?]

Ash: At sinong kuya naman iyan? [You have a brother?]

Jes: Parang ang dami kong kuya no. Si Rain. [I am talking about Rain.]

Ash: Sammie, hindi ko carry ang kahiligan mo sa R. Una si RJ. Tas si Rake. Tas si Rain. Si Eros lang ata ang boyfriend mo na hindi R. [What is up with Sammie and R-guys. RJ, Rake, Rain. Eros is the onlyguy you dated who isn’t an R-guy.]

Sam: Esusmi. Hindi ko pa boyfriend si Rain. [Excuse me. I haven’t dated Rain yet.]

Jes: Yey. PA daw. Pa! [Yes, you said YET that means you might!]

Ash: (rolls her eyes) San pa nga ba pupunta yan? [Where else would it lead?]

Jes: Yeeeee!!!

Char enters.

Char: Excuse me. Office hours.

Char leaves.

Sam: (whispers) That guy needs to get something pulled out of his hole.

Ash: No, he needs coffee.

Jes: Or to get laid.

3some: (laughs)