To my Lord Herc

My lord, fret not thy lost hero
For this beast is foul of breath and touch
Let not this loss cripple thy heart for this opens thee up
To what you my Lord dare ask thy knight?

Why it opens thee to roses with thorns that thou now can see
To sonnets that thou now can disbelieve
It grips thee not with curiosity but wit
Of a love that would never let thou slip

For only a fool would not see
A gem as thou gleam to be
A foresight thy new man will have
To see that the dame and the warrior walk in thee hand in hand

Still he be there to tend a wound
Thou let fester because of thy grief
Not with illusion would thy new love proclaim itself
But will abdicate his pride to have thee for his own

Translation:

Don't be an ass. Let him go if he wants to be with another loser.Find a winner. It takes one to know one.

My version of forever

I don't believe in the romantic notion that is forever.
But I have seen it in reality in the marriage of my parents. They have that version of forever most married couples could only dream of. But for us women "in healing" this kind of forever is hard to come by. I don't blame the men nor do I blame the women...but yeah...I sometimes blame romantic novels.

You see, in a novel, love always conquers all. This is true for romantic novels of the Filipino kind. The woman always gets the man she deserves at the end of the story. Her life is changed to this perfect version of it and it is always because this man was a part of her life.
It plays on the weakness of all women to be protected and taken care of. The concept of "The one" and "forever" are overplayed and always a part of the equation.

In my life, I believe in something else. Something that puts most of my boyfriend's nose out of place when I talk to them about it.

My version of forever is the collection of moments that I spent with the person that I love...at that moment.

Of course I had to make a spin of sweet nothings directed at them after that. This statement reeks of my commitment-phobia, I know. But it's true for me.
This isn't something that I would recommend for anyone. Some women were made to pair-up with someone who are suitable for them. The problem and heartbreak then lies on whether the man was made to be paired up with them.

I met a man who made me believe that forever was possible despite the fact that I know that it's an elusive dream.
I told him once

My version of forever, are the moments that we spent with each other.

I know it still sounds wary but if you knew what I had to work with you would say that I was being a hopeless romantic. It was true and I had to undo this feeling after so many years because I outgrew my sense of delusion.
I know that love like what my parents have is rare. But I plan to pursue that love with a fervor of a madman. ^_^ Because I know a love like that is something that even sluts like me deserve.
And if I fall short of my search, it would not be one of my regrets but a silent hope that my sister would inherit that kind of love.

So I say this to all of my romance-challenged friends,

Forever is just a word but it can cut through walls that took years to build, so be gentle with it.

NEVER PROMISE FOREVER SINCE IT DOESN'T EXIST. Promise fidelity, promise love but never forever. It's beyond your human hands to make that be.
Promise warmth and security but never unconditional love. Because you might just end up choking on your own words and making another cynic. 

To the man who taught me love and fidelity,

Salamat...'Tay. ^_^

Death for her service

Hustisya, hiling ng mga nurses para sa gang rape victim

It wasn't a long time ago when my friend told me about her experience volunteering for a family as a requirement for a subject in her Nursing course. It was replaying in my head how the family that sponsored them seemed offended when they didn't eat with them or bathe where they did. She also mentioned that they could barely sleep because the father went home drunk so they took turns sleeping. But as I read the fate of this nurse, I shuddered at how minute their complaints have been over what she had endured. And when she awakens, nothing will ever be the same for her. I almost got mugged once and that makes me extra vigilant. What more if you had to live through that kind of ordeal. 

 Men who have no shame do this. Men who have no souls do this to a woman who had done nothing to make them do unthinkable things to her. God had the mercy to let her life. But to be what? To be the flag-bearer of justice for women and rape victims alike. What of Nicole, that women who caused a ruckuss but buckled against her American dream? Would she be like that girl? Perhaps not. When or if she comes out of her condition, she would be scared for life. She would not look at men, nay, at people and herself the same way. She would be damaged. 

But sometimes, wounds heal. It would take a miracle and all the love in the world for her to be well again. It would take steel faith and unfaltering, unconditional love. And it would take a wondrous man to get her to trust in their sex once again. He would have to be a gentle, loving and patient man. I wish her a speedy recovery if that is altogether possible. 

And I pray, if only I could, that an avenging angel or a brave heart would smite those who did this to her or at the very least point the police in the right direction. For their shame and incarceration would not be enough. It would be their lives, the ones they do not have a care for at the very least, that is needed to repay the life that she would never have, the one of unconditional trust in the good that is in every man. 

There is a circle of hell waiting for them. I pray it starts on this earth.

 

Formatting Reminders Simplified - for T.O.P.pers *revised 052311*

CHAPTER ONE 6

Seoul, South Korea, 2010...
NAKATAYO si Jaime sa may arrival gate nang makita ito ni Yongbae. 1
2"Jaime!" 3sigaw ni Yongbae.
Lumingon siya at nakita ang kumakaway na kasintahan. Kung hindi lang mabigat ang hand-carry niya ay nagawa sana niyang tumakbo at yakapin ito. Pero hindi na kinailangan dahil ito na mismo ang gumawa noon.
Sarap... 4kinikilig siya sa higpit ng yakap at sa mumunting halik na iginagawad nito sa kanyang mukha.
"Anong gusto mong unang gawin?" tanong nito sa kanya nang makalabas na sila ng airport.
"Pwede bang..."nahihiya man siyang sabihin ay tinanong na rin niya, "matulog muna ako?"
Natawa ito sa tinanong niya. "Hindi pwede," bigla nitong sagot. 
"Bakeeeeet?5" eksaherado niyang tanong.
"Unless katabi mo ako, hindi pwedeng matulog." 
"Sabi ko nga eh, 'wag na lang." naiinis niyang ungot.
“Ayaw mo akong katabi?" tila nalulungkot nitong tanong.
“Hindi," ngumuso siya dito sa inis, "rapist ka eh."
"Hoy, ah! Anong akala mo sa akin? Virgin pa ako,noh!"


NAIINIS pa rin si Yongbae sa sinabi ni Jaime kanina. Sana ay hindi na lang nito iyon ginawa.
“Hyung, okay ka lang ba?” tanong ni Daesong sa kanya.

1. Ang UNANG SALITA sa inyong chapter/bagong scene/change of Point of View or POV ay dapat na BOLD at ALL CAPS.

2. Dapat naka-indent ang mga sumunod na parts ng scene na un, dialogue man siya or naration. 
*kapag inyong kinopya sa TOP.com ay hindi lalabas ang indent pero mas magaling na masanay na tayo dahil sa publishing house dapat ganun ang format. 

3. Dapat ay maliit ang unang letra ng salitang susunod sa "dialogue"

4. Ang mga "mental dialogue" ay dapat na naka italics.

5. WAG GUMAMIT NG ?! sa panulat. Mamili kung ito ay tanong or hindi. Kung ito ay isang tanong use ? kung ito ay sumisigaw lang use ! (ang gagamit nito ay papakainin ko ng mga punctuation marks)

6. BOLD and ALL CAPS ang CHAPTER NUMBER

7. Para sa mga text messages gumamit ng ganitong format 'text message' Use regular words. I-bold or gawin italics ito kung diary entry or message o note
   
   'Are you home?' Napangiti ako kasi kakahiwalay lang namin ay nag-text na agad ito.

8. Ang .. walang ibig sabihin sa panulat. Gumamit ng ellipsis ... ng maayos. 

9. Remember na ipabasa muna sa at least two friends ang kwento bago ipasa ang novel. Sa totoong publication me reader one and two bago pa ang editor.

10. Tandaan na 10 chapters of 10-12 chapters lang dapat.

2,500 words per chapter = 25,000 words (maximum)
2,400 words per chapter = 24,000 words (minimum)
Check out the word count rule sa TOP Tutorial : Writing Workshop 

11. TIMES NEW ROMAN 12 double spaced one inch margin = for novel submission 

This is to help form uniformity. Sundin na lang natin ang mainstream format para masanay tayo. At para in the future ay makapagpublish man kayo sa pub house, hindi mauubos ang buhok ng editor nyo. Basic lang ito at base sa rules ng isang pub haus.

Magbasa ng iba pang advice sa paggamit ng mga bagay bagay sa wikang English at Filipino. Ito ay isang compressed version lang. ^_^

At please, wag na wag kayong magagalit o maiinis sa editor in secret. Send me a hate mail anytime you need to say something. Wag matakot magsabi ng totoong nararamdaman. Para walang gulo.

All the revisions are made for the improvement of your novel. Learn from it. Don't pout and say na ayaw ninyong magpa-edit. Hindi yan ang kalakaran ng totoong buhay. We have a standard to follow. Here in T.O.P. bawal ang feeling nila wala na silang kamalian sa katawan. We are a family and family help each other kahit masakit tanggapin minsan.

~ Epal in Chief Pinay

Pinaywriter in Blog Engage

I just added my blog to BLOG ENGAGE.

I will look around and check how effective it is. It's fun to be a newb. So much to learn. So little time.

The third in bad luck streak

She has no idea that my day was bad. I don't really know why Mondays have been kicking me in the tush these days. I am this close to going Garfield on Mondays! It is not unusual for friends to ask me to buffer for them. But since I didn't have enough coinage to buy her a gift I said yes to an afternoon of sheer discomfort. This is something that I would only do for a handful of women. And thank God for that. Because I know for sure that I would either be eerily quiet or lash out on Wednesday.

No, I don't care if I am an ugly fat ass when I see them again. But if they ever say something about it, then I would conjure the worst possible curse in my head and make sure to put them on my MALUK list. (I would not need to explain this list. It's a secret list.) I for the life of me don't know how these two asswipes can even consider showing their faces to my friend. And the only reason why I am planning to go is because I would never let my friend be amongst wolves without me there to shoot them (at the very least, dirty looks. We all know how painful my tactfulness can be so I will have to leash my evil in.)

I caught the other one on-line and I know I have gone a long way from my old blurter self because I was able to entice her but not reveal who I would be meeting tomorrow. (Unless they meet their untimely death on the way to QC.) If she knew I know for a fact that she would flip out. And in her present birthday blues condition, it is not acceptable for her to know until I actually experience being in the same place with an ex flame and another deplorable human being.

But I am sure as the sun rises and sets that she would read this blog. And I pray she misses all the basic cues I have given. But this is my blog. And I will rant here as I see fit.

Come back again tomorrow for my hell-raising blog. I am sure you would love the implied curses there. ^_^

Gotta go for now.

Pink for BAD LUCK

Guess what color panties I am wearing.
No, I am not seducing you. It's just every time I wear pink undies, bad voodoo comes a-knocking.
The bus I rode had only one other passenger so from Aegis to Ortigas it kept slowing down at bus stops. T_T And if that wasn't enough, the stupid driver apparently over took another bus (and loudly said he didn't notice it) that caused the other dumb ass driver to get cramped into the side of the overpass (a bit) enough to damage his bus' side mirror. I was jolted awake when that bus stopped us. I really thought there was an actual collision. The ticket guy from the other bus was demanding money and an apology ( I think ).  I guess it was the jolting awake part that made me mumble that they should just exchange numbers and let the owners fix it.
We all knew that it would get fixed, them haggling over how much it would cost made me want to throw things at them. T_T I was like this is my  head, "Shut up and just drive through that damn bus!" But of course this as not a Harry Potter movie and my bus is in the same plane as the other bus. T_T

Luckily, they agreed on 150 from the original 100 that was offered. (facepalm) All that for 50 pesos?

My cloud hit a cashier at Jolibee. I had asked to get the Ateneo tumbler thinking the burger meal that came with it required no waiting time. But it turns out that the stupid fries were still unavailable. I said "Just give me what is available, I am not eating it anyway." True enough, those fries now lay inside the green trash bin near our pantry.

I am waiting for the third boo-boo of the day. After all, they always come in threes, right?

++++

I am reading something right now, as per the recommendation of a couple of TOPpers.

It's Love Monster. 

I want to find the manga version of the live action that I am watching nowadays (and downloading) Samurai High School.

I was so into it that I actually made a simple kimono of the new doll I bought for one of my nieces.

Which reminds me, I need to recreate THREADS AND GLITTERS...hmm. Maybe tomorrow. (I did it today, presenting Threads, Glitters and Glue )

As for today, I finished putting entrecards, blog listings and banners on this blog and with my new money-making for charity blog, WILL WRITE FOR GILS.
I had to make some hasty blog entries there since it's necessary for the approval for entrecard.

I sucessfully downloaded the e-book that  I bought from T.O.P. and I will be posting my review of that as soon as I am done.
But with 24 students, a very cluttered room, comic pages and posters to make and clothes to wash, I don't know how I would ever find the time to do it.

Ugh.