I
want to write about this before I dilute it with the fact that in a few
hours I would have to go back to the company and have to face the fact that
febfair 2013 is over. Most of my batchmates don't come back anymore. But in the
spirit of things, having attented my elem/HS centennial I figured I should also
make sure to go to the Febfair. Sadly, there was no booth to be found. first
because I didn't see the unmarked tent and the people right in front of that
booth didn't even know where my org was. The next day I walked around
unanchored and bored because I didn't have a place to sit down and do
kamustahan, an org tradition and weird reverse bull session.
The plan was set, at least in my head to
have my work bestie and HM to go with me. HRH could not make it because she had
medical reasons and so it was just HM and moi who went there. I had forgotten
that I didn't have to go to work on the 14th (EST and MLA time fracking me up
every time) and I slept through HM's bday salubong (something I only learned about
when I became a college student though I used to love to greet people at 12 in
the morning on their birthday)
HM and I caught up with a few hiccups. Her
check out time was later than expected and excited bee that I was I ended up
waiting for her at the Buendia Jam station. Literally, a luvshak goddess met me
there when the traffic let up. I was in my "student garb" and she was
on her birthday outfit which is to be expected but still them yoga and circuits
are paying off.
We ate at Bonito's as planed and I had
raviolli. HM finished her quest so soon after ariving in Elbi. Someone she has
been looking forward to seeing was there. What happened after is no longer
bloggable but nevertheless unexpected.
After HM and I had her Bday bonito's and
her Mernel's cake we met up with my brother and talked then headed into the
field to see where our org booth was. But like a hero's unmarked grave, it was
right under our noses and we didn't even realize it was there. I even asked the
Rheto peeps where the booth for my org was. Four hours after HM asked on our
group we got our answer. To say that I was disappointed is an extreme
understatement. Let's just say it was the first time I didn't get to shake
hands with orgmates when there were some on the campus when I was there. I was
hungry and thirsty for news and I was left high and dry. I wondered how they
were and how we, the people who only get to come back once a year or once in a
blue moon could help. Some regular gigs were off and there needed to be a lot
of things done or changed to have this org be relevant to the new
grade-conscious population of UPLB. I want to blame Globe's lame network in the
campus and the dead spot of my brother's apartment. But I really can't just
blame that. I want to blame the ifone I own but I really just can't blame that.
I want to blame myself for not getting updates and not having the numbers of
residents. But I really just need to get over it and not let it ruin
every thing else.
After the field disappointment we just went
out to go to Koffee Blends. We talked about work and life stuff and I realized
that 2013 seems to be moving both fast and slow. I think it's coming with old
age that you feel like time is passing so quickly but you are able to feel that
the consistency of your life is a lot stickier than before. Not a lot of things
can get pulled in but it's not stagnant as well.
HM said something during the time we in
ELBI for that time, we thought our lives were so complicated and or difficult
when we were still there. Sometimes the feeling that this is really is it is
not actually the reality of it. Being there and having the Elbi that we had
then made for a crazy yet wonderful time. But times have changed drastically
and almost violently. Elbi was no longer a haven and even if you close your
eyes really tight it doesn't look the same again. The bar where you meet the
mistakes and the great love is no longer named Loata Loca but Infinit (I think
I heard this is the name) and the Adios Mother F*cker is lost forever. You
can't play at HOPSCOTCH anymore. And the LIGHTS of Havana is no longer as
enlightening as it was before but a watered-down version of it's past
greatness. That or maybe Belvedere has spoiled all girly drinks for me since
Bora. But apparently Beer Pong is a sport in a bar that I missed playing. I
should really have tried that. Maybe next fair. ^.^ If I do not have a
boyfriend to play with during that time.
HM had laughs and realized my brother is
not as quiet as she thought he was. We had silogs early morning of the 15th
after HM and I got scared of the stories that didn't make it online or on the
news about what happened in our dear old Elbi. I am only going to say this one
more time, it was a mistake for them to ever let that fool into LB and the
office of the mayor. He should become persona non grata. I swear.
The next night, after waiting for the dark
to spread and having watched episodes of the amazing race 20, I ventured back
to see if our tent was there. Ziltch. It was stolen or so I was told. It made
me remember that time I borrowed my dad's tarp and then it had big slices from
where it was tied to a soccer goal we pushed all the way to the freedom park
from the oval (yes, if there is a will there is a way to have a booth that
can't be taken away). I wondered if we found out that the tent was ours the
night before could I have reminded them of that insident and they could have
had a better chance of keeping that tent away from the thieves of the fair.
Then I got a message from D. I hung out
with him even though he was sick and I think I caught his bug. I got to take a
lot of pictures of him and his friend/orgmates. But I couldn't shake the
irritation that I had a dslr and no orgmates to take any pictures of. It was
the 15th, it was supposed to be the anniversary month of my organization and I
didn't know if it still even existed.
I got to do a wisdom share with three
doengsaengs. I just hope that I was able to make a contribution. But I know for
a fact that people only listen to themselves and no change true blue or
adjustments ever sticks unless you do something about it. I realized then that
I didn't have to get so hung up on the fact that I was not able to hang out in
an org booth. I was thinking maybe next year we can help them set one up. Then
I thought if it was possible for the volunteer corps of Gabay to have a booth.
It could be a freshman booth. If you are a Gabay or a freshman who doesn't have
an org yet, you can hang out there. I'll try to remember to suggest that to
them some other time. Because my life was not just about partying and being an
org member, a large part of it was the days that I spend volunteering for
helping out freshmen. We could promote volunteerism and all the Freshmen
activities like before. There would always be freshmen students and EVERY one
who ever graduated was a FRESHMAN once...or a few more semesters than they
should be.
Mental note: Ask Gabay's if they could put
up a booth next year. ^.^
I was supposed to watch UP DHARMA DOWN on
Saturday night but I got sick and still am sick now. But I would still go to
work. Real life happens when you get on the bus back to where you live and
work.
Jet asked me what I miss the most about
ELBI and all I could say is the 25 pesos tocilog. Because you see, you can't
miss things that you always carry around with you. In my head, Elbi would
always be a safe place to walk around tispy and spunky at 4am with the most
beautiful yet crazy friends a promdi like me could ever wish for. And I would
not even if I was Hiro, change a single thing that happened.
We didn't become butterflies in college,
elementary is the egg stage. High school is the caterpillar stage and college
is the cocoon stage/puppa stage. Then after you are ready, you break out of
your shell and FLY away to show the world just how beautiful that time inside
that place made you. You can't go back a stage because it's just not possible.
But you can always visit the garden where you metamorphisis happened.
So till next year, Elbi. You will always be
my greatest battery charger. See you in '14.
And you reminded of Loata Loca and Adios Mother F*cker! Yes, Elbi is not MY Elbi anymore.
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