Monday, February 28, 2011

Pandas in Nuvali

Bula Panda
Poto Panda
Tita Panda
Lee Panda

Tito Panda

I have been looking for a panda hat for a while now. Thank God my mom is awesome. ^.^ I now owe her 2,200 more than before. I think I need to pay more attention to clearing my debt. ^.^ More about our Nuvali trip for Lelai's birthday later.

My weekend in pictures

I can barely talk and I haven't slept yet so I can' really tell you about my jam-packed weekend. But believe me it was blog-worthy. There are parts that can't be blogged directly so I would just mix fact with a little fiction. Still. It was a fun weekend. I got the reactions that I didn't expect from my family members about my boyfriend. They haven't seen him and I don't plan for him to be subjected to this family any time soon. Wait for the blogs...they'll be hilarious. ^.^ At least, I think it would be. But I would need to sleep first.


pictures and poster edited by moi taen by moi mostly too
meg, macho, mhel, moi

meg, maganda,macho, mhel

food at my ninong's 50th b-day Diet? What's thaaaaaaaaaat?


family minus GM and Chad

Friday, February 25, 2011

Pandabear Project 7 of 100 : Planning Forever

He asked me if he should tell me his plans. I told him that he should. After all it's just plans right.

1. Get married at 25.


I told him he's lucky that he didn't meet me last year since I changed my mind about marriage last September. But had he met me before that, there would be a repeat of his past. In my past, I have had those proposals too. I said NO. Flat out no. Okay, I said it in my head, I tried to distract them with other things so they would shut up about it.

I know four men who are loyal to their wives. FOUR. Well those that are close to me at least. I am counting my dad, an uncle, Michael (he's a newlywed) and an uncle-in-law. I am not naming names because they might demand that I name them and if I don't, well we know what that implies, right?

I know that there are a lot of things that I have to learn and unlearn to be a loyal girlfriend. But I am old enough to know and have enough life experiences to know that men stray not on their on volition. There are factors behind it. And it is not always the wife's fault. Not entirely at least. Oh, and you can't always tell if your man is a cheating bastard.

It's easier to train your man to be more truthful but you can never really say if he is just a better liar than you are, right?

But I can't let my fears get the best of me.

So note to self: Stop freaking out. They're just excited.

February 25 Musings

My mom didn't go because she was pregnant. Obviously, my father didn't go because they were waiting for me to arrive. I didn't know anything that happened. My mom loves yellow too. At some point she had the Cory hair. ^.^ And coupled with thick cory glasses.

But now that some one else in the Aquino family is president I wonder, where was the Obama-like hope that he promised. Like his mother, he also seemed reluctant to become the president. Would history repeat itself?

Or would things be a little better this time? Or are slogans going to remain that way. I believe that more things would be exposed this time around. But that doesn't mean that things would not be hidden from the people as well. There is more accountability because the media is more severe and technology makes information easily available. One wrong move and a president with a new car and a new date can be splattered all over the internet and twitter would be raving about that.

I am confused why this is a working holiday. Couldn't he make them take a day off, those who toil day in and day out to remember this day and maybe find the time to tell their kids why February 25 was so important in history.

Oh well, I think, Mr. President you forgot a little aspect of that day that we remember. The masses included people who walked to the street from their work places, probably risking losing their jobs to support a great cause. Surely the students were there as well but wouldn't the majority be people who are in their forties and fifties now?

I am sure Makati would be a little yellow today. I saw the decorations yesterday and I remembered suddenly. I am supposed to buy my mom a yellow Cory shirt. She likes the color after all.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Pandabear Project 6 of 100 : PapaPanda Panic

I almost choked when I checked my FB emails earlier and saw that Pandabear's PapaPanda asked him to introduce me to the maternal side. There was a hint that someone had already mentioned in the private family group earlier.

I almost fainted.

Meeting the family is not my strongest point. I don't think it's a big deal. I think it's a HUGE deal.

You all know this about me, I am from Batangas. In our family culture,when you introduce a person it's a sign that things are settled and a hop and a skip to getting married.

So I told Pandabear that he would not meet my family or attend any family events until he graduates and gets a good job. Because I for one, don't want people to look down on the person I am with. I want him to be his complete adult self when that time comes. None of my exes met my family. Honestly, I don't think they had the qualifications to do so. Sorry for being blunt but they didn't. I loved them and I knew they loved me, but the man I want to introduce to my family needs to be someone who is "together" and "definitely mine".

I have met a family once, the mom loved me. I never got over that experience since I had to break up with the mom too. It's hard.

Also I want to finish my self-improvement before I meet anyone on either side. The sad thing is that I might not see him this week since my mom is making me go home because we have to attend a birthday party. My godfather sent an invitation with my name on it. T_T, God help me if it's a swimming party. Give me a simple cocktail party anytime. I have to endure the "You got so big!" comments again. But this time around, since I have a new boyfriend, I would have to endure "When are you getting married?" Now, do you understand why I don't introduce men to my family and Batangas-based family friends? They are all gagging to get me categorized in a different civil status because that is what is TIMELY for me to do.

I am sorry, my cousins have shown me eclectic married lives, so I am not willing to jump their bandwagon just yet. I have just recently decided that having a normal relationship is not as boring as I thought it would be so I am not going to get myself into even bigger trouble by promising anyone forever.

I know that he worries about this. But I am a firm believer that we attract what we fear. I don't want him to think that I am not serious about this or that I don't think he is good enough. As a person he is. Gosh, he's my first honest boyfriend. (Yes, guys he is. Don't worry I still love you as my exes in my own way. ^.^) I am not about to ruin him by lying to him that I want him to stop growing to reach his potential.

That is not the kind of friend, or girlfriend for that matter.

I have a lot to learn and to improve on to be a good girlfriend as well. I need to learn how to be a home-efficient person. I need an inkling of culinary quotient. I have none so far. I have to clear my mom bank debts. I want to learn how to make even better photographs. I want to be able to save money. I want to learn how to budget. I want to visit all the museums near me. I want to loose 27 kilograms of ex-boyfriend pining flabs. I want to fall in love with an honest, sweet, loyal and thoughtful Pandabear.

So please, don't rush me. I want to make sure that this time around my love is not built on the foundation of passion because it fades and can leave me scorned. I want to make sure that this time it's not based on chemistry and sexual compatibility alone because those can be misdirected energy and just hormonal imbalances gone crazy. I want this to be something that my mind, my heart, my newly recovering moral compass and my life experiences agrees on.

This time, it won't be him and me against the world. It wouldn't be something that would be a telenovela-worthy love story. It would something that would inspire people, normal simple girls, to find the best boyfriend in that nice guy they love to put in the friend zone and tag along like some puppy.

I want to learn how to be a keeper. I want to make sure this time. Like my Tita Nanet told me, I need to what I want to do alone and be open to do things with someone else.

I can be the bestfriend and the girlfriend at alternate times, my Pandabear can't just yet. He alternates from little brother to boyfriend. I need to train him how to do this on his own. Regardless of what happens in the next 94 days, I will make sure that he is capable of loving himself and me in the right way, pun intended. ^.^

I need to be nonchalant about this when I go home. I am sure people have saved up four years worth of puns for me to hear. ^.^ I am after all the scary cousin who stares and scares their boyfriends during family events. My boyfriend needs training, endurance and mental before he can face the horde of Perezes and Simons.

I might need to buy him a Kevlar.  ^.^

I am not worried about his family. I may not be the prettiest of girls. But there is nothing wanting in my breeding, intelligence and charm. I am willing to be criticized and smile wider when ridiculed. So I know they would like me eventually. It's a gift and a curse. ^.^

*Ugh, anticipating pimples because of this.*

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Pandabear Project : 5 of 100 - Threesomes

I am baffled why some people don't know how to handle the news of the whole relationship status thing.

I am not a saint. God, help Ico if he thinks that I am. He is constantly surprised of things that might not be so easy to accept. I learned this from that one time when I told Mark all my escapades in one massive truth bomb. He told me then that men never want to talk about their girl's exes. EVER. The problem with that is that the new boyfriend has no idea what the girlfriend is capable of doing. It also lessens their fear or insecurity (that may be a good thing). In Mark's case, he imagined that every time I wasn't anywhere near him or every time I talked to a male friend that they were planning to jump me or that I would jump them. ERGO, I have dubbed him "seloso sa hangin" or jealous of thin air meaning there was nothing to be jealous of or no one to be jealous of but he still thinks that something is going on.

It was exhausting to reassure a man who in his own status quo put me in a very uncompromising situation. I hated it then but I didn't realize it until my love was stripped to the bare minimum.

I am allowed to talk about my exes or tell my boyfriend about them. But I am only going to do so in a need to know basis. And if I was Pandabear, I would take it astride. Because as much as his exes are a part of his past, mine are too.

Some sleazeball would come up and ask me about my sexual activities like they have the right to do so because in my past I was a very very naughty. But that is not who I am now. I have learned all the lessons that can be learned in that kind of lifestyle. Thank God I don't have any souvenirs from that time in my life except some "moves".

Lessons for today:

1)There is such a thing as a bad surprise.
2) There is such a man friend who doesn't like to talk about Xerexy things.

3) There is no such thing as an emotional Threesome. There is a you and there is a me. That is all that matters.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Pandabear Project: 4 of 100

It's funny how from all the things that I wrote in my previous blog, my dear Ico focused on the 100 days thing. There is indeed a bad side to that personal ultimatum that I made. It's not really for me. It's for him. I don't want to waste his time with a girl who isn't going to stick around. I would rather slowly learn to love him than be my old obsessive self. And boy, could I get obsessive.

Mark knows this about me. Maybe more than JL could ever know. I don't fall in love easily. He wanted me too, for all intensive purposes I was exhibiting the giddiness of someone who found her Robin-type in a guy she was dating. In retrospect, surely I loved him a lot at that time. But it was the added factors in our relationship, the danger of it all and the lack of moral compass of it all that made my blood boil. And somehow I was swept away by the telenovela lines and plot twist. When I strip it down, there are very few things that was real in our relationship. The way he held me and the way that he needed me was real. But the way that I needed him had been me relinquishing my control of my own inhibitions.

I admit that I am whinning to my roommates about some details regarding my new relationship. But the truth is, I feel at peace. For the first time in my entire personal history, I am in a relationship that doesn't make me lose my cool.

Peace of mind and romantic relationships have never included me in the same sentence. It's odd and I am beginning to thing that I might be freaking out a little bit. In a good way.

You know that feeling that you are slowly having a crush on your boyfriend. That tinge of missing someone when you know that he's an sms away? I am having that now. And I like it. I think I prefer this to all the other kinds of love that have been served to me thus far. The others spoil so easily. In this one, I am still picking the ingredients and I still need to prepare them. Later, he can teach him how to cook and I will teach him how to season to taste.

What I learned from my parents is that in a relationship that lasts, there should be a level of silent love that suspends the couple in a constant state of romance. It's not seen in the big gestures of love. It's in the way they look at each other, the nonchalant way they sit on the couch next to each other just be near each other.

It's also in the way that they sleep in separate directions at first and wake up in the morning spooning. Like in the span of the night, they know that they are supposed to wake up in that position. Love draws people together, I know about true love.

It's not the kind of thing that makes you want to change a person but the kind that inspires you to be a better version of yourself. And because he sees a better you, he doesn't need to be told to step up his game and he just keeps astride. When he is ready and when he deems in necessary, he will pick up the pace and before you know it, he's there right next to you, in the same level.
Some women drag their men to this level. I believe that we can nudge them in the right direction. People don't change. They never do. They unearth their true nature or they adjust.

Yesterday he sent me some cheesy lines and I told him that I respond to sincerity. I want him to understand that although I am a girl like the many others he dated, I am a woman who doesn't need fake catchy phrases.

Poetry is a lost art among men. I think they have forgotten that women love this. I am a woman of the arts. I love poetry and I love sincerity. Things don't need to rhyme for it to be a love poem. It could be in the simple things that you say or do.

I want my Ico to know that he doesn't need to resort to any of the things that works with other girls. I am made of tougher stuff. And those things would bounce off without having any effects.

It's funny that when he told me that there were gays who were trying to come near him I got jealous. ^.^ I haven't been jealous in a long time and had the right to be. I told him to tell them to keep their limbs and suckers away from him or I would cut it all off. And that if they asked him why he isn't as friendly as before that "My girlfriend is a scary Batanguenya." I am sure they can imagine a girl with a butterfly knife. ^.~

I don't share food. I don't share my boyfriend. Anyone willing to risk it would be compromising more than their limbs. My exes know this about me. My looks can kill.

Monday, February 21, 2011

His First Febfair & My First Normal BF

It was a hectic Friday since we had to meet up, I had to buy a pantyhose for my dress and we had to go to Makati so that I could pack my stuff for Elbi. It didn't help that we had the deadline for our team book that day. I was super worn out. T_T, I didn't know what I would do first. And carrying Eros (my lappie) was a pain.

But he was patient enough to show me his school uniform. *I have a picture somewhere but I can't seem to find it. T_T I think it's in my officemate's camera. Tsk.* He waited for me to finish eating, didn't comment that I looked harassed. We went to my dorm so that I could take a bath and pack. He ate lunch at the cafeteria downstairs and that shot his budget. I did remind him to just buy something to drink. ^.^ I could find my comb so I went downstairs without combing my hair. He was attentive and remembered the things that I asked him to remind me. ^.^

We bough donuts before riding the bus. He also discovered the awesomeness of grape-flavored Water Plus.  I didn't get to sleep on the bus since we talked a bit, took some pictures, and listened to some music. He likes John Mayer amongst others. I felt envious that he could have so much music on his blackberry. T_T Oh well. I discovered that he was ticklish. ^.^ That was fun to learn.

It was already late when we got to UPLB. I learned that it was his first FebFair. That and he didn't tell his mom where we were! T_T That did not go down well. If I was my old bitchy self he would have never heard the end of it. But I was trying to be a nice girl and going psychobitch on him that early was not part of the program.

We went to my UPFC's booth first and I was able to meet,greet and introduce him to them. We would make it our "baggage counter" and homebase for the rest of the night. We went looking for my brother and Dada as well. My brother was easier to spot and he got along with Ico quite well. *I'm going to call him that since I really don't like Raymond as a name. ^.^ Sorry sweetie.* I was scared for a while that my brother would shock Ico but I guess he doesn't shock easily. I am sticking to the "what is in the past is in the past" during that time. I tend to scare men away with my rap sheet. And although he's had other girlfriends, I didn't want to have a repeat of the blurting at Mark episode. Lesson learned during that time: If the guy is not interested to hear it, keep it to yourself. We did talk about these things later on. I consider the 19th as the official Pandabear day since the conditions were met during that day.

We bumped into my brother and I bought them red iced teas and a couple of makis for me and Baks *my brother's nickname*. I ended up giving the donuts and maki to my orgmates since the pasta they fed me was nom-tastic. Ico even got to talk to Sir Owen. *who told me that he reads my blog- pressure much* I encountered another "You should be a lawyer" situation. I said it outloud but it's not entirely true, that I don't have ambitions. I just consider that my dreams have already been met career-wise. I found a job that gave me talking as a main job and it had a schedule that fit my lifestyle. The only problem is that I don't have HMO and I can't save because I get paid peanuts. I can write now for T.O.P. and I hope that one day I can be a published writer. *This would be for another blgo but I am thinking of going off the grid as the EIC. I can't really resign but I might since I want to focus on my writing.*

His friends from RO and RF were a typical bunch of gamers. They were teasing him that he seemed happy. That might have something to do with the fact that he was going around the fair while holding hands with a girl. His chest had to endure the "congratulatory hits". But yeah, he seemed genuinely happy.

We stayed inside so long that we missed the bar scene. I didn't get to show him Hopscotch all that much. There weren't any food left there either. T_T I knew that black cat that we saw would bring bad luck. One, I didn't get to see Kuya B, second, we had to eat at Mcdo for breakfast and three, I am keeping this one hush-hush for now.

We stayed at the common area for my brother's apartment. It proved to be comfy enough and there were a lot of firsts that we talked about while we were there. I had to adjust to sleeping with someone but oddly enough I slept well for the few hours that he let me sleep. I forgot that I am a grumpy person when I wake up when he woke me up. I guess I would need to adjust to that the same way I don't get to keep my cp silent for a long period of time or watch movies alone. There are just single habits that I would have to tuck away now that I had a boyfriend again.

Just a quick note, Ico is probably my first normal boyfriend. We all know my relationship history. I have splattered my boo-boos all over this blog already. But like the best things in my life, I think I might have be more protective of my new chapter for now.

He makes me smile. He told me that he loves me. *Tee-hee* I have already crushed my crush rush and the dust have been taken away by the Elbi breeze. So now there is only him that he needs to compete with. I am giving my heart 100 days to fall in love. If it doesn't fall for him completely, then I would have to ask him to be just my friend. I don't want to waste his time with someone who can't love him the way that he deserves.

021811 UPLB FebFair

I admit that I compared him to my exes in a lot of things. Prowess, size, potential for greatness and whatnot. Despite falling short in experience, age and a few other things that used to be important for me in my shallow versions of love, he trumps them all in one simple yet important category. Honesty. So even if God is telling me that I can't have all that I wish for in one guy, having a rare find like him in my life is good enough for me. For all the things that they made me feel, trusting a man again is a lot more refreshing and scary than I thought. This time my trust is not based on fantasies and ideals, it's based on exactly how he is around me. Although I try to mellow down and try not to be the dominating old me, I think that with proper training, Ico would be a great boyfriend. I just need to put back the ego his exes has stomped on and the confidence that is lurking in his eyes.

I don't need to break this one in. The others have done way too much of that. This normal relationship would take a lot of work. I don't know how he would be able to handle the FullMetal Nyanya GF mode. I already told him that I can't meet his family just yet since I want to be in my best self. And that I can't present him to my family since that means marriage in our family. I also told him that I need time before I can tell him that I really love him. Because I am not like the others, I don't say something just as a response. When that time comes, I want him to be able to recognize true love and not just a "mutual understanding". I firmly believe that women who talk about love when all they have is affection are even worse than whores and us sluts. At least we present our men with the truth.

Since I was sent an honest man, I need to be the same way.
I just hope he comes into his own soon enough. I want to inspire and not to train him too hard. He has potential, we just need to adjust a few things.

So my dear friends, chill. I'll tell you the whole story when the time comes. ^.^ And all the naughty bits too.

021411 MOA VDate

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Going Bananas

I accepted Pandabear's challenge not to eat rice starting from March. (He wants me to start now but I can't) And he has presented potatoes and bread as alternatives. I know from experience those stuff goes straight to my knockers so I decided to try to go back to the "banana alternative" diet that I did before. I literally forgot the great taste of rice because of that. It took me a week to get the love of rice back into my system. But I had better skin during that three weeks. When I started with rice, the pimples came back. So I am looking forward to that possible side effect. 

I can't eat just banana during my breakfast since that would probably kill me. I have to talk for several hours back to back and a light breakfast is never an option. So it's possible that I would combine my defunct oatmeal diet with the banana alternative thing.

I googled about the Morning banana diet and I go this: 

What is the Morning Banana Diet?

The diet plan itself is pretty simple: just eat a banana or two for breakfast, along with room temperature water, eat sensibly throughout the day, avoid alcohol and sugar (though a little sugary snack is allowed at 3 p.m. if you want it) and don’t eat anything after 10 p.m. More details are available at an English language Morning Banana Diet forum and diet journal site.

The magazine says the plan originally got a lot of publicity when an actress dropped 26 pounds on the diet and an opera singer slimmed by 15 pounds. The Osaka pharmacist who originally created the diet reportedly lost 38 pounds, and guinea pigs for the magazine lost six or seven pounds in a week on the plan.
How the banana diet works

The banana diet works, the magazine says, for a number of reasons. First off, eating any kind of breakfast offers a metabolism boost that may help you burn 300 more calories a day, and eating a banana or two only provides 100 or 200 calories, a much smaller breakfast than people who normally have a morning meal eat.

The carbohydrate in bananas known as resistant starch is said to speed fat burning by up to 25 percent throughout the day, and the fiber makes you feel fuller longer and can help block fat absorption.

Bananas also provide a decent amount of vitamin C, potassium and vitamin B6, which respectively can help the body burn more fat, prevent bloating and preserve muscle during weight loss. They also help the body make dopamine, which can help you feel satisfied and stress free on fewer calories.

(By Sarah E. White for CalorieLab Calorie Counter News)

Top Diets from Japan

The Morning Banana Diet – Free Diet Meal Plan

One Adam is good, two are even better?

Dating tip: Never ask a man to go bazaar shopping. He will get bored. He'll say that he wasn't but HE WILL BE.

So kuddos to Pandabear for sticking to it to the end. I ended up with three tees, three blouses and one dress. ^.^ I would like to thank Ianne for choosing my silver glittery blouse today.
The shopping was prompted by the "business casual" dress code for work today and Friday. I just got my teaching minutes. So far the only remaining part of it is 500. ^.^ But I was able to eat Mt. Fuji maki, Tori Pesto, and strawberry milkshake with Ai. *Promise kept!* Too bad her cousin was in Greenhills. T_T, I was also able to buy new things that would help my new year's resolution "to be appear more feminine".

We were planning to go to Greenhills to buy my clothes but it was a good thing he was amendable to just going to Starmall. After the shopping "spree" we went to Shang to pass by Quantum so he can meet and greet with his kinakapatid, Dada. She was with other people and I just smiled, greeted and waved. I don't know if it was a meet and greet for my benefit or he wanted her to see me. She seems nice though. I teased her "Are you the one he's been ditching lately?" She laughed it off and said yes. So I think I like her. As my friends know, first impressions are very important.
I asked him what he wanted to do after that. He didn't have any plans since it's a sudden date so we had to wing it. He owes me a movie date now. ^.^ I figured this is a better way to do things since he also has the Laguna man provider complex. But the thing is I have the "working girl" independent complex so I thought Starbucks would be a great idea. Luckily, Just Go With It was on!

they are super hot in the movie super hot

So we bought bbq and sour cream popcorn and lemonades. Note to self: Sour cream popcorn is so not my thing. I will stick to caramel popcorn. Shang needs to look into that. T_T, I was surprised that movies are a lot cheaper in Shang than I thought. ^.^ Nevertheless I had a great time. I was afraid that he would get too cold inside the cinema. Since he just recovered from a fever that would not be a good thing.  But cuddling helps. ^.^ It's hard on the back but nice.

But before this whole date day I had an encounter with Twilightboy. I talked to him when I saw him in his new station. He was wearing new shades. I asked him if he got the chocolates that I asked someone to give him. He was able to take something out *probably the note* when he said that he didn't really understand something. I just countered it with the common, That's because my handwriting is really bad. I exited before he could say or ask me anything else. Office crushes are just crushes. I had a crush on Ry before and it didn't matter. I want to get more information that would make me not have a crush rush over him anymore. So I have a mission later. I hope that it works out fine. I will blog about it if it works out. But my teammates are still splitsies when it comes to the two guys. Some of them say that Pandabear and I look good together. Others are sticking to the chemistry between me and Twilightboy. I don't really know if it's going to be possible between the two of us. Though he is nice enough to not be awkward towards me. I was able to ask him the question that my TL was asking, she was wondering what he ate to get that tall. He just laughed it off and tapped me. Some of my teammates were there to see that and by the looks they were giving me, they were still not over the whole crush rush week. I plan to make sure that Twilightboy is eliminated from the crush rush race. People are already assuming that Pandabear is it. But we can't really tell for sure. I enjoy hanging out with him but I won't be the same old blind me. Comfortable doesn't necessary transfer love. We are both in transition. Baggages need to be let go and laundries need to be done.

I will use my CommArts-ness to get Twilightboy eliminated. I am pretty sure he doesn't like me the way Pandabear does.

Enough worrying. I just need, for the first time in my entire sordid relationship history, ENJOY what I am feeling and who I am seeing in the most wholesome of ways. Yes, dearies, you read that word right. Wholesome.

So not me, right?

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Pandabear ♥ Day

He was late. And we all know how I am about men who are late for things. I was with a man who made me wait for him three hours at a time almost every time. So we know that I can be patient enough for anyone. But that didn't matter this time. It was a Valentine's day date but it wasn't supposed to be a big deal.

It was funny because I thought Nichols was his kinakapatid. It was actually a location. *teehee* That was super embarrassing. I told him to meet me at NBS where Ai and I were hanging out. I was at the graphics section next to the magazine section where Ai bee-lined to. When I looked behind me he was already there clad in a blue polo shirt ,Marithé et François Girbaud shoes, jeans, and backpack. (Yes, he's in the backpack age still. Manbags don't start until they graduate. ^.^) I introduced him to Ai. (She later made an offhand comment about me and Pandabear being bagay. Too early to tell.)

We travelled from Mega to MOA. We both didn't know that the MIA bus was the one we needed to ride. He paid for the fair. (I paid later but it's not equal. *teehee*)

We ate at the food court. *Dating tip: Food courts aren't as cheap as you think they are. They are a great place to be able to choose whatever you want to eat without having to compromise the kind of food you like.* He ate barbeque from a Filipino food store and I ate chicken terriyaki from a Japanese one. Miso soup is love!~

Of course I was grilling him on just about any information that I would need to find the real reason why he is still single. *Dating tip: This makes guys uncomfortable but this has been the purpose of our sudden V-day date so it's allowed.* I found out that this particular bear is actually a super softie who has been plowed under by girls who reminded me of Moi in my teens and early twenties. Definitely, they are sweet loving but commitment freaks who tend to break people's hearts. Poor, pandabear. But this is not a pity parade. It's a "Panda-awesomeness" Day.

We walked around then stopped near an area where we could look down and play "Real or Valentine couple". This game is a fun yet mean game where we choose couple and he guesses if they are a real couple or a couple that are just together because it's February. He had his hand on my waist by then so I felt less uncomfortable since I am really not a big fan of hand-holding. My exes know this about me. It has something to do with my hand being tiny and blood circulation.

But since my leg was already hurting and I noticed him shift his weight, I asked him to take me somewhere where we could sit. And so we went to the bay area. It was cramped with people. Unfortunately we could only find space near the fountain where the zip line was visible. I paled every time there was a couple that passed. I hate those things!

But he was very sweet and I wasn't bored, not even for a little bit. The guy tends to push the other person's parameters. And since I didn't put up any walls that day, he didn't have a hard time.

There are still a lot of things that I think I can teach him. But I am apprehensive because as those goodbye kisses indicate, there is a slim chance that I would be able to tell him to not go for the same crazy psychobitch girl that he liked in the past. The only difference is that I have already learned my lesson. Those girls he dated, they are yet to get their Karmic retribution.

I am not in a hurry. So what if Twilightboy didn't understand my note? (I think it's either he's dense or my handwriting is abysmal.) That is his problem. I am done explaining myself to men.

Clean slates are far in between. I am not about to crap all over this new chance for me to find someone to love.

Monday, February 14, 2011

My Curly Tops Valentine

I made notes for my teammates and gave them Curly Tops. ^.^ I wanted to give them one box each but I blew my Valentine's budget when I went to Elbi. ^.^ I decided to give a box to Miss L, Sam, Liz and of course, Twilightboy. ^.^ I don't know if Pandabear would want chocolates but I'll be meeting up with him in SM Mega later to go to MOA. I promised to train him to check who are desperately paired or those who are really happy on this Hearts' Day.

Let's just call Pandabear as my love apprentice and I am his surrogate Valentine. But I am sure this kid has the potential to be a great boyfriend. We just need to train him to be a lot less gullible when it comes to women.

As for Twilightboy, I hope he shares the curly tops and that I don't get into any trouble asking someone to give it to him. This ends my crush rush. I hope.

Onto the next crush. Who knows, while teaching Pandabear, I might just stumble upon a new crush? MOA is a big place, right? I wouldn't mind wandering into someone's heart. ^.^

I refuse to consider this year as Happy S.A.D.! (single awareness day) I consider this year as Curly Tops V-day. It's not all the time that I have a crush rush and a love apprentice on the same Valentine's day. ^.^ I don't need to have a boyfriend to have fun and to give love on this day. This way is a little bit more kilig actually.

To all my friends who are celebrating as a pair or solo, Happy Puso!

sarang he oppa!~

Friday, February 11, 2011

Reign in Spunky

After a play there is always a prod party, right? Well, it was supposed to be a trip down nostalgia for me and Adios Mad*r F*ckr at Loata but when I passed by to take a look at Hopscotch, Kuya Benz was there. T_T All this time I thought they had already sold that place to his brother's friend from Japan. But apparently there were some issues and legal battles so the sale didn't push through. He told me about the videoke room that he furnished as his new business. It looked like an entertainment room circa Filipino families. I teased him that I had a place to crash in when I was in Elbi. Without Ate Carla, I seriously didn't have a place to stay in. And it is never safe to sleep in a hostel or motel alone. It's even less safe to stay in one with someone.

Speaking of someone, I saw Dada in a Sakbayan rally. He is running for office in CHE. *facepalm* I didn't really think he could actually make his life an even hellish version of what it already is. I am glad to know that his standing is good enough to be able to be considered for a position. But COLLEGE POLITICS? SERIOUSLY? I am secretly red, that is for sure. But for the longest time all they have been able to produce are individuals who had to shed their ideals after they left the school. Some didn't leave at all, others can never come back. And I seriously feel more nervous about this than I felt nervous when he told me the news that he told me last year. I know him to be a good kid and kinda stubborn. I also know him to be the kind to seem to be carried by the flow but actually constantly understand that going against the flow can be a good thing too.
Enough about this. I absolutely don't care about this anyway. I don't vote for that election anymore. It's in their hands.

I gave him cookies that I bought at Mica's. 300 grams. The rest are sitting on top of the brownies box that I have in my apartment. I was supposed to give it as "pasalubong" but now I want it all to myself. *teehee*

I went to Java Ave *where I never really party like ever* and I found out that there was a sorority party mixer in there. 150 to get in. I thought Dada would be there with the other Sakbayan people. Apparently not. I bought a ticket, got a searching hospital band and went in to try to find Dada.

And find him I did. He was with Jet, a couple of girls (one was Steph), a guy wearing a white sports shirt (he's ben-something I don't like his type. Sleazy) and a bear-type semi-kalbo guy who reminds me of a nicer version of my friend's ex-fiancee.

Segway, I also found TJ. (couldn't remember him in the beginning) but he told me he was straight. T_T Right. And I pointed at the lead singer of the band that was singing and said I wanted that boy. He latter dragged the guy in my emperial presence. I didn't plan it, I blame the juiced up cocktail but I kissed him on the lips (well side of lip) and he said he was bi. I told bi singer whose name I don't remember and whose band I didn't listen to, that he should date Teej and just get his gay on. And I also told him to pick a team. Pick. a. team. Yes, bi's I am talking to you. Don't be greedy. Pick.a.ragiddy*ss team.

Going back to the nice people's table. I eliminated the Ben-something guy since I thought the girl he was sitting beside with was his girl. Apparently she was an acquaintance. I have been there before. I know what those kinds of things lead to. And I am the one who controls the situation, for my own protection. But like I said, I have already retired from that kind of lifestyle. I want to be a good girl. Even if it kills me, I would do it.

I knew that he was a nice guy to begin with. Pandabear, I will call him that. I call my friends weird nicknames so just let me do this. I call Benidict papabear so there is no romantic reason for this. He apparently dated a commarts student. That in itself is a flag. People always assume that we CommArts students have hidden archives of each other and know one another just because we are in the same course. Sure we are friendly but for heaven's sake, why would I remember people who are insignificant to me? Right? Anyway, apparently it was a traumatizing emotional rollercoaster for him. I was dishing out my life lesson mantras and paying a lot of attention to him.

Girls be careful when you are this way, especially you sweet smiling engaging women. It might lead a boy on and you don't want to have to clean up that mess. Establish your parameters. Flirt at your own risk.

The Luvshak goddesses might be a lot of things even sorority girls can not or would not do but we never intentionally strung a man along just because we wanted to get a kick out of it.

Okay, so we might have once or twice but that's beside the point. I am a good girl now. So I was just telling him good information like I do with any other underclassman.

I read him of course. He is a nice guy. He is attentive. He is emo-ish. He is witty. He knows where he is good at and he doesn't pretend otherwise. He was really scarred by his ex, like really scarred. He has strong-willed women issues. He knows when to make his move. He is graceful enough to ignore a rejection but smart enough to recognize it. And the boy likes to woe.

Also, he's clingy and definitely the jealous type.

He also asked me out in the middle of a conversation. I said, "I don't go out in Manila." then continued to blab. He looked nervous when he asked me that. Just the right amount of apprehension. But I know one thing is for sure. I am an even bigger biatch than any other CommArts major he could've ever have dated.

So I would have to be adamant not to break my no little boylets below a specific age.


On other news.

Office crush is making me hyperventilate.
He is too close for comfort at times.
Remember that feeling that I always have when I know that Mark is lurking around? I get that whenever he is about to come into the room. And he listens to my classes often. I think it's because Lyn told them too. I don't know who put him up to it.
Seriously I am rejoicing right now. This is actually a great sign. This is the symptom that I am truly healed.

You see, I am not the kind of person who has crushes randomly. Sure, artists and actors once in a while BUT regular people stay in my attention zone for a minute or two. That's it. Then I always find something I don't like about them. Sometimes a glance is enough to do it.

He is definitely interested to listen in on the call. And being a big person makes his presence intimidating. He literally blocks the light.

Twilightboy is symptom number 1. He is the sign that air can be energized and not just for Mark.
Pandabear is symptom number 2. He is the sign that if I smile enough and with what I learned from psych class, I can get any guy to feel like they like me.

But of course, Twilightboy has an expiration date. And his number is up.
Pandabear however is sweet but like I always say, as much as he is a great guy, he should be with someone who sucks in air when he's around. And too bad that is not me.

This is a classic, spark vs comfort. And I choose neither. Having an office crush is and safe. It serves the purpose that eradicates their assumption that I am a lesbian. It also provides a few kilig moments. But that is it. That is all that would be of it. I would still not date a guy from work, or at least pounce at him. No amount of hangover would make me do that. Although him almost ignoring my suggestions that he listen to other people is odd. 0.o

Having a new apprentice is fine. But if he falls for me that would be a problem. I want him to have a chance at happiness. And I am not the kind for nice guys to date. Girls like me eat boys like him for breakfast. He deserves a mellow traditional girl. ^.^ I would definitely leave him in shreds even finner than his ex left him. But for now, I reply appropriately.

Elbipie 14: Banana Shake

I laughed so hard and felt so nostalgic during the whole time. There were no skinship that would have made people feel uncomfortable and everything was done for laughter's sake.

The first part was the modeling part, something that has been a part of some plays that are under this series. It's a way to introduce some new people or the characters portrayed by the new cast. Some of the more prominent members of the cast started out as models. Of course, it's done with humor. If I ever get my hands on a DVD, I would definitely buy it. They should look into doing this for the next Elbipie plays. Someone did that before that is why I have a copy of Kiko's queen bee return.

After that there were the typical monologues and dialogues. The first one was able an actress who is pissed off at a guy who is all high and mighty because he fucked up his relationship with his orgmates just so he could become more popular or make a name for himself. She is pissed off at him because he is trying to press his feelings for her when in fact she knows that the reason why he likes her is because she reminds him of his ex. The other girl is the ex girlfriend. The catch is that the girl actually bewitched the guy with her "flower water". This is the reason why he fell in love with her. It was actually why he would always love her. But she didn't want the kind of love that was obsessive and caused by magic. She realized that to be able to love someone, she needed to love herself.

The funny thing was the first girl was smoking several cigarettes at the same time. Weird. ^.^

The next one was between the Olay model girl and a gay who did Sir Gene's old character. It was really nice. He was a hit, I believe. He made me miss Sir Gene so much. The story is about them and an unseen Joe character. The girl is actually talking to the guy who was cleaning his refrigerator. I missed Dee because of it. I am not sure if she was the one who did it but the lines reminded me of her.

I said it outloud and I would say it again, I am not worried now that there wouldn't be a Kiko, Pong, Bong or Rand in these plays. There is always potential to be discovered. And he (morpheus guy) is it.

I feel like I am forgetting something but if I am I am really sorry because all I remember is that apart from the Why not Underground's super funny dance the part with Sir Rufo was the one that remained.

It seemed in the beginning that the full-haired, red gowned Elmer was talking to the audience. After he listed the senorita, saba and ladunti men in his life (all men were played by just one guy including the wife of the saba guy) it was revealed that he was actually talking to his dead father. Or was that dying father. I forget. Sleep deprivation is a brain cells killer.

I liked the way that he harassed the other actor, sang at times, shifted from song to dialogue, from humor to tears and from straight to gay. I laughed so hard that my abs got so much exercise I probably lost weight. I laughed all my work stress away. I felt refreshed.

This is how much I missed laughing this way. This is why although I went there alone, I didn't care. This is why it is sheer torture to not allow water in the DL Umali Hall. Because laughing can be taxing to the throat. We need to drink after laughing and screaming or whatnot while watching this play.

This is where the regular student doesn't have to conform to regular theater rules and just let it all out. Where the actors feed off the energy of their audience. Megamall has that stupid game on one of their cinemas. Well, we don't ever have to do that in an Elbi play. Ever.

* I didn't get to see Miss B but it was fine. I'll just clap for her right here.

** I was so pissed that I didn't have a camera. I should have borrowed one from a friend. T_T,

*** I was thinking of Irvin and how not so long ago, we were working our assess off and scared shitless of Miss B. I missed not needing to use a mic to be heard all the way to the pit from the sound room on the top. I missed the actors, the crew and the days when Icebag ruled the stage.

But I hope that next time, there would be people sitting on the carpet and standing room only once more.

Nevertheless, congratulations and more power to all the people behind ELBIPIE 14. Welcome to the family. ^.^

ELBIPIE 14 Like page

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Crush Rush

I have a new crush.

Why am I so happy?

One, he is not a figment of my imagination or an actor/idol/model.
Two, he has a very good deep manly voice. *gyah!~*
Three, I made him smile when I said jokes in front of him.
Four, he asked me a question and I spaced out for like five seconds. That never happens when I am doing public speaking. ^.^
Five, he's a werewolf. *teehee*

Lastly, the fact that I have a crush that got into my dream, yes I dreamt about him, means that I am really fully recovered. My heart isn't just ready to love. It's not just something that I am saying out loud so that I can believe it. There is an actual chemical reaction in my brain that makes me like other men. Well, man for now.

I plan to have as many crushes as I possibly can. I don't plan to do anything about this present crush except hold it close to me and go gyaaaaaaah!~

After all, a crush rush can make me like work even better. Too bad he's not going to work in the same shift. ^.^

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Exes, Wives and Brats

I just realized that the happiness I saw Mark will have with his family, the future I saw that will happen or could happen will lapse in March. It would be the only tarot reading of mine that would not happen. And because I have stopped doing that for my own sake, I may never know what the future would hold for him. But who the fuck cares? I have my own future to think about. One where a man would be and I would be. A future where we would be happy.

So he can do whatever he wants. 
I have the rest of my life to be happy. 

He's just my friend now. I don't need to worry too much that he would fuck up his life. Although most of my friends tend to do some pretty bold things lately like get married. Or some pretty cowardly things like fear a life that is actually able to make them happy. 

I think the universe is trying to send me a signal, or perhaps people are just lonelier during February that they add people on social networks even though it's obvious that their profile picture is a figment of someone's photoshopped imagination. 

Or perhaps they are too afraid that the love that they had and the trust that they have given is being trampled on and given away by the very person they love and trust just because he is lonely. 

But I always wonder, why is it me that gets to babysit them through their fears? Is it because I am finally, gradually letting go of those fears? Is it because I now want to be one of those who take the leap? 

I am getting mixed signals from higher powers here. They crush all my hopes then free me to love again. Then I learn that the past isn't all that good after all. That I was blind to so many things that I forgot to remember that life isn't a novel that I can edit. Where the dialogue isn't meant to be as romantic or where declarations of love aren't all what they seem. 

I guess editing BBBS so close to Valentine's Day is an excellent boot of procrastination. It gave me something lovely to do during vacation. Though it might have killed half of my brain cells in less time than college ever did, I would be happy if the four e-books I have finished so far can make someone smile or laugh or even cry. I need to finish the rest. God help me.  

Like Capey's mom said, some love stories are short stories but that doesn't make them any less awesome or important. I am just going to sit back and wait for my co-writer. If my life isn't meant to be a romantic novel, then I would make sure it's a riveting memoir nonetheless. 

So as for those who are afraid to love, face love or give love, I pity you. Because your life isn't going to be as adventurous or as funny to look back to as mine. Sometimes the bad because the good parts too. 

Friday, February 4, 2011

Not all the nice guys are gone

I promised myself I wouldn't rant about it being the love month and the fact that I am single as a skunk that didn't bathe for an entire month.

I have been browsing through facebook and going ga-ga over wedding pictures lately. I am quite an embarrassment but I don't really care. I am not afraid to find it awesome that people are getting married ahead of me. I am pretty sure I would have to spend a lifetime dodging questions about being single so I might as well start training for it now.

I always said I probably would never end up with a nice guy. Nice guys don't just finish last as far as I am concerned. They don't finish at all. It's because if you are a good guy, I put you in the friend zone as soon as your nice-guyness is determined. Why? Because I don't like losing guys like that in my life. Why? Because they are so fun to corrupt. Kidding. It's because they are so rare. Sure they are not perfect but they have a certain panda cute-ness that makes them fun to be with, harmless to talk to about just about anything and nice enough to give you the guy's p.o.v. without asking you to explain what is really going on in your head.

It makes me wonder why nice guys are said to finish last and why I prefer bad guys over them. I think it's the bone structure that comes with the eyebrows that I like. But then again, nice guys like Mr. Maclovin are still fun to chat with, catch up with and wish good luck.
cute isn't he? camwhore slash photo enthusiast

Here's to finding your Latina bride, kiddo. Lights! Cue music!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

January Winners - T.O.P.

I would like to greet and thank the winners for last January's contest :

Ano ang inyong pramis sa 2011? 

1st place: CK
2nd place: VIRA
3rd place: MEICA
4th place: IKAI

Sana mas marami pang sumali sa February contest. 

Sulat na, Toppers! Bilis!