Monday, December 27, 2010

Ellen Tordesillas blogged about me (and of course, mah awesome inay!)

Caregiver of caregivers’ kids

The phenomenon of Overseas Filipino Workers, OFW in short, which disperses more than 10 million Filipinos all over the world, most of them away from their families, has created another phenomenon: children growing up without the care of their mothers who are taking care of other people’s children.
This sad situation has created also another kind of job in the Philippines : mothers taking care of children of mothers who go abroad to take care of other people’s children.
One of the outstanding entries in the this year’s Philippine Expat/OFW Blog awards was Niña Simon’s “My Mom’s Quasi-orphanage” . It won the Nokia award for Philippine-based blogs that also deal with overseas Filipino workers.

Friday, December 24, 2010

A Thankful Christmas

A lot happened this year that would change me for the rest of my life. A lot of lessons are now very much a part of who I am that it makes me so happy that I have the Christmas gift that evaded me the past few years.

Once again I find myself feeling like the me that I was the day before I met Mark. Not that meeting him was bad or anything, it was awesome in a way. But to feel the love that I had for myself once again makes me feel free, beautiful (at least on the inside), and brave.

What I want for next Christmas is someone to share it with. Sure I celebrate with my family every year and it's the best time to show our love for one another, but it would be cooler to have someone to fret over because I don't know what exactly to give him.

I didn't get Christmas gifts from my exes. At least not one that I wanted. It would be cool to have a boyfriend who remembers my actual birthday without the Facebook reminder and who gives me the gift of a life together for Christmas.

So I will be a good girl this year, okay...I'll TRY to be a good girl this year and maybe I would meet someone this year who would make my heart trust again. And this time, my trust won't be in given in vain.

But I think this year, despite its MAJOR FAIL moments, is full of them blessings. Friends that I made are for a lifetime. People I met enriched my life. I was able to pay off my laptop. I got over my last boyfriend. I got super fan moments that make 2010 super awesome. I won awards I never expected, met interesting minds who continue to make me smarter despite not being in school.

I hope 2011 is a little more mellow but more productive. This time next year, I hope that I have a lot of things to be thankful for again. I know that some people hate the holidays because it magnifies the fact that they are single. But with a family like mine and all the love that I have in my life, I realize that being single is not a burden. It's an experience that I have to go through to appreciate being in love or being in a relationship.

He asked me if I still loved him. I said no, not the way that I did before. And I am thankful for that most of all. Because now, my love is going to lift me up and let me be who I want to be and be with someone who would respect, love and cherish me enough to always be true to me and only to me.

So for all of us who are single, Christmas is not cold, it's a time to spread warmth with a little smile and sincere greeting.

To my Korean students, Merry Christmas!
To my Filipino friends, Maligayang Pasko!
To my family, I'll be home at around 6 or 8 p.m. You might want to start the party without me. I'll get there as soon as I can.

To all of my new friends, offline and online, I hope that you all enjoy your Christmases.
To my non-Christian friends, what the heck, have a great weekend!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Juggling Five Balls

My  student told me about this speech that puts Koreans who are workaholics in a place where they realize that they only have work in the end. She says that although she believe in hard work, it's also difficult to accept that at the end of the day, all she has is work. So she wants to also be able to find balance in her life. 

Juggling these things doesn't mean that you can have it all. But it means, at least for me, that you have to constantly keep your eye on the ball while remembering that it's not the only one that is important to you. 

I have seen my parents do this all their lives. Family was the most precious ones. Sometimes, they forget the health one but they quickly try to prevent it from falling too often.  I can only hope so much to juggle as well as they can. ^^ 

Speech by Brian Dyson, CEO Coca Cola

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them – work, family, health, friends and spirit … and you’re keeping all of these in the air.
You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or evenshattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for Balance in your life.
Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.
Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.
Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us to each together.
Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be pave.
Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find time. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings!
Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you are going.
Don’t forget, a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
Don’t be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.
Don’t use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savoured each step of the way…
–Brian G. Dyson
President and CEO, Coca-Cola Enterprises during his speech at the Georgia Tech 172nd Commencement Address Sept. 6, 1996


Wednesday, December 22, 2010

ESA Moment : Red Bean Soup Day
My student Mr. Bond. (three guesses what his English name is) told me about Dongji Patjuk. You can read here what the myth about it taken from. The thing was that he didn't know about it as well. He found it interesting so he shared the information with me. He said patjuk drove evil spirits away. Cool, beans vs.ghouls. Kinda made me think of plants vs. zombies. ^^

I wanted to tell him about the Filipino food that people believed is a good source of energy or made us strong. Yes, you are right, the BALUT. But I didn't think it would be a good idea to tell the man about a food that would probably make him expel his lunch so soon. ^^

CULTURE OVERLAP: People, Koreans and Filipinos alike use food as a means to benchmark a holiday. Although the lugaw or a ginataang munggo would probably closer to the red bean soup than balut, it still makes the latter fit the "gives special energy" category. We believe that specific kind of food can make us healthier or stronger than usual. But in the long run it's a healthy diet ensure just that, with or without the red beans or the aborted ducks. ^^

Eat-All-You-Can't Team building

I don't ever want to go to an eat-all-you-can with my teammates ever again. 
Why? Try eating a lot of food then being too full to even laugh normally and you would know what I mean. And my teammates are rowdy, funny, awesome people. So it was torturous to have to hold back laughter when something funny was being said. 

Not that the food were all great, but for P160 per head, Dad's in Megamall made gluttony plausible. (Thank God for the short stint of no carbs I had in November. I need to re-do that after the holidays. ^^)

I had siomai, corndogs, shawarma, tacos, puto, lumpiang gulay, carbonara, spaghetti, and tofu. 
160 na sha now ^^ Our boss paid for the drinks 75 bottomless iced tea

I didn't eat dinner. T_T I couldn't even think of food when I got back.

But for my Balikbayan friends and families, going to an eat-all you can be a great way to save money. *wink wink* So try it out too. ^^ After all, we Pinoys only need two things to have fun, good food and loved ones. Right?

Chinese Pinaywriter 0.o

No, I did not put a product recommendation online about this product from China. And seriously, if I did, don't you think it would at least be cooler than this? Hello? I was/am an SEO writer. Duh.

Hackers have a newly made circle of hell. And that hell is where I would make them transcribe using pens that use their blood. Tsss.

I don't know if this is an after-effect of getting my  url in a yahoo news blog but still...I had to change mah password. (I personally hate trying to remember new passwords. Tss. But now it might just be necessary. Darn it.)

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Simple for 2011

I have been meaning to change the template of my blog for quite a few months now. I have been having a bit of a problem with how the other one was holding up. I decided that a simpler, cleaner blog template would be better so I used the Blogger template designer and placed things where I want them to be.

As much as screenshots of the past blog would make it memorable, I would like to make my blog, as well as my 2011 as clutter-free as possible. But of course, I can't help but keep it green. ^^

2010 is drawing to a close. I lost a lot of things, including my old blog and a need to pin for an ex, but I also won a lot of things, PEBA's supporter award and my freedom to love again.

So as much as it is scary to not have someone in my heart, or to constantly strike out on possible crushes, I know that I am capable of a lot of things and one of those is improvement. Change isn't something that I like all the time. But if I am willing and the right project or person comes along, I am able to share with them a spark of greatness.

Monday, December 20, 2010

ESA Moment #2: On Blind Dates

Student: I have a blind date.

Teacher: How was it?

Student: Bad.

Teacher: What was the problem?

Student: Age is younger.

Teacher: How old is he?

Student: Three years old.

Okay. This was not posted to make fun of anyone. It's a conversation I had with a female student about her weekend. She told me that she didn't like the guy that she went on a blind date with because he was younger. After a few more probing questions. (Yes, I am a gossip like that.) I got her to reveal the truth. She didn't like the guy's mug. I almost giggled but I controlled myself from doing so.

CULTURE TIDBIT: Koreans (some not all) go on blind dates to try to meet someone to date or be steady with. They tend to be set-ups by friends who usually vouch for the other person. Sometimes they pick up the tab as well.

CULTURE CRASH: Filipinos love to matchmake their friends. But most of us don't really like to go on blind dates. Group dates are more common and a lot safer for Filipinas. At least, that is what we think. For the guys, it's a little bit more dangerous since the "cheerleader effect" can be deceiving.

OVERLAP: Most people date to either mate or to settle down. Since Koreans and Filipinos are both big on families so getting to know strangers becomes a process of elimination. Sometimes they get eliminated, other times they are the ones who date and dash.

BOTTOM LINE: Blind dates can lead to a fun experience or to a traumatic ones. My suggestion, make it an avenue to free your mind, make a new friend. Be bold but don't be too judgmental.

ESA Moment #1: Male Students Study Naked

Disclaimer: I am an online English teacher. I decided to share my more colorful conversations with my students in this blog. I won't be mentioning any names and since my students are not allowed to connect with me using social networks and blogging, I think I am safe. ^^ This entry and all others like it is not meant to poke fun of my super cool students. It's a way to compare cultures and exchange ideas between Filipinos, Koreans, and the world. ^^ So troll me if you want to. My blog, my words, read it or leave it.

There was a student who I am fond of and loves to do freetalking who surprised me with a piece of Filipino news that he watched. (I recommend that my students watch or read news on English sites so they can improve their English.)

My student said : Philippines news, male students study naked.

I thought that it was some new way to review for an exam that made it on absurd news internationally. I was trying to rack my brain for something to say that would change the topic. But the truth of the matter was, I was trying not to pee my pants from imagining what he said.

I honestly want to teach in that school if that was even true.

Then he said something that triggered a memory. "They wearing mask."

Flashback to standing in front of the Humanities building in UPLB gawking, pointing and screaming, "I can't see it! It's so small!" at frat guys running around with a red rose in hand, masks or head covers while they protest the latest of the many issues faced by state university students or Filipinos in general.

My student saw a news clip about the OBLATION RUN. 

So there I was trying to tell the 40 something Korean guy whose culture restricted these kinds of freedom of expression that we had this kind of thing in all the UP campuses every year and that it was a tradition of a group of guys to prove that they are worthy of joining a brotherhood of men.

He seemed cultured shocked since no sane Korean man would talk to a female teacher about this unless he wanted an explanation from a native. He was actually amused that I actually went to a campus that had this. I told him that guys that have these red roses actually give them to women who are in the audience. He laughed most of the class and was willing to learn why those guys actually did something that to him was borderline nuts.

Culture tidbit: Although flashers are common in both countries, in Korea, I believe it's illegal. In the Philippines running in one's birthday suit, when done as a sign of protest, as is the case of the Oblation Run, is a sign of personal freedom. At least for most people.

FYI : What is the Oblation? 

Interesting FYI: This tradition of the APO fraternity can occur outside the December tradition of the Oblation Run. There was a time in UPLB when several APO members stood on-stage during the February Fair stage to protest something. Still I am yet to see a naked man in any graduation ceremony in my university.

As for my student. I advised him not to let his sons visit my school around that time just to avoid this kind of shock. ^^ Any other place would be okay, there are other islands in our awesome archipelago after all.

So myth busted. There is yet to be a college where male students in the Philippines study naked. Darn it. There goes my hopes and dreams.

T.O.P. EB 2010

I was there, with a bad tummy day, the only person who arrived before 10 a.m. at MOA. Foo shortly arrived, by shortly I meant almost half an hour after ten, it was a good thing I had met him and his family at the last Komikon so I knew it was him. We would be joined by Glo and her cousin a little before lunchtime. I had to make a couple of visits to the bathroom because of my previous stomach issues with rice. I am beginning to think that not eating rice might just do wonders to my system. Since I started eating it again I have had too many bm. Okay, gros segue. Back to my story.

I was glad that the EB would not turn out to be a date with a married man. ^^ Gotcha Mr. R. (evil laughter) I now know that you are not a he, she, nor are you an it. You are a WE. Hohoho.

Because of the lack of clean clothes, I ended up wearing my black dress that exposes my knockers. I was all black that day. It was safe to wear that since I knew that Foo would be the only guy there. And seriously, I knew he was harmless. Translation, he was scared of me *evil laughter* so there was no way what I was wearing would be an issue.

Chen was late. But she came with her "password". ^^

Yesha and Louise came a bit latter.

I ate chicken nuggets while waiting for Foo to arrive.
I hate chicken, liempo,achara, and rice at Chicgy's.
Then I had a strawberry mcflurry and oreo choco sundae.
So long story short, my tummy is still suffering from all the stuff I put in it.

But the fun news is that,

1. Foo and I thought of new contests for 2011.
2. I finally met Chen, Yesha, Louise and Glo.
3. Glory's cousin was nice and funny.
4. There are t-shirt designs that will be made in the future.
5. Yesha. Louise and I are planning to make the system of story applications a bit more like it was before so that we can help the newbies make better stories and titles. Meaning I am not the only one who would sift through the multitude of stories that are flooding the forum.
6. Possible future T.O.P. Merchandise. ^^
7. I think I made new awesome friends in the person of Miss Y and L. ^^ My lucky stars.
8. Possible ways for money-making in T.O.P. is in the works. I hope my proposal gets accepted.
9. I finally got more chismis about what happened in the past that shaped the present T.O.P. So I know what to do to make sure that the people in and out of the group sees us as a writing group and not as a bunch of haters.
10. Realized that there is something vital between Free for all and lucrative. And I am more than willing to make the writers get to the second part as soon as it is possible.

It's too bad the Foo didn't get to stay. I am sure we could have hammered down more information and more things that needed to be made clear. I need to remember to make a flowchart. The one that I made for the HOW TO PASS A STORY TO T.O.P. was unattractive and boring. So I need to relearn it I guess.

I am now more determined that what my stars is saying about my "projects" going to the next level includes T.O.P. I just hope we can bully one person to see it as it should be. ^^
We'll get around to that I hope. For now, I need to stop watching Korean DVDs and tune in on the novels I need to edit.
19 of 45 pages BHHE2. ^^ More to go.

Friday, December 17, 2010


Things crossed out on my Crazy and Goal list on December 16, 2010

GOAL LIST: Join an international blog contest. Check!
CRAZY LIST: Be in the TOP TEN. Check!

GOAL LIST: Win an award for blogging. TWO CHECKS!
CRAZY LIST: Take crazy pictures on stage while receiving said award. TWO CHECKS!

GOAL LIST: Attend PEBA 2010 with a friend/s. Check!
CRAZY LIST: Be fashionably late for the Gala night. Check! (more on this later)

CRAZY LIST: Learn how to get to Greenhills. Check!

CRAZY LIST: Be seen online by strangers. Check! Superstah!

CRAZY LIST: Meet other PEBA bloggers. Check!

There I was in Robinsons Galleria, in my Gala outfit waiting for H. The traffic was abysmal because it was, according to day the day after the pay and there were Christmas sales everywhere. When she finally arrived we contemplated whether to take a cab or a jeepney. Because I have been standing at the taxi stop for thirty minutes and there was still a bunch of people in front of us, we walked to the jeepney stop instead. Luckily there were two jeepneys loading up there. Greenhills, here comes the LUVSHAK GODDESSES!

After registering we got in and sat near the corner. We were close enough to see what was happening on the stage but far enough from the groups of people to do our usually mean girls bit. You have to forgive us. She's a contact center employee for the longest time and I am an English teacher. So we looked at each other after every lisp and grammar slip. We are just mean like that.

Just so you know this is not going to be a blow by blow thing about what exactly happened in the event. I wanted to write a piece that was quite journalistic but I forgot my notepad. ^^ So this is my PEBA night as I remember it.

When they announced the category for Nokia I figured that I won't get anything since I thought that one had to make a separate entry for it. Boy, was I surprised when I heard my online name Pinaywriter. ^^

I walked towards the right side of the stage. Apparently there were no stairs on that side. I had to walk past people in front, who were nice enough to let me pass. I didn't know there was a path in the middle. Gesh. One friend enough told me she thought I was coming from the bathroom since I took so long to go on-stage. *She was watching on life streaming btw.* When I finally got onstage, I wanted to do a peace sign but since I was a little unnerved all I managed was a thumbs up. So phallic, right? But I heard some people snigger so I figured it was funny enough. And I am here to entertain. *bows* *bows*

When I got down I read my plate. IT WAS KIKO'S! I got up and walked to the side of stage to ask for the correct plate. I guess it was his wifey who was there. We exchanged plates. After that we got a picture taking session with the head as well as the rep from Nokia. I am so bad with names. I will fill this in later when I find out who they are. ^^

There were intermission numbers who sang two songs that me and H sang along with. ^^ I took some frame by frame pictures from him. The ladies had fun on that part I think. ^^

Fast forward to the announcement of the top ten for the OFW Supporters category. I was praying that they would call out my blog's name on the tenth. When they didn't I sat back and thought that I didn't have a chance in hell of getting into any of the higher levels.

When they called out my name for the 6th place, I made sure to walk in the middle so that I wouldn't make an fool of myself. (More so that usual) Again, with the thumbs up. I really couldn't help it! Bumenta eh. ^^

All in all, I am happy. Most of the bloggers I met through PEBA got awards or honorable mentions. So for me it's a win for almost all the people who are special to me. As for the other bloggers, I will take time to read through their blogs and find small pieces of information that can help me become a good OFW supporter, PEBA entry nominee or not.

I was just wondering, pwede pa po bang umulet? Probably I would if I ever become an OFW, I would try to join the other category. *teehee*

I am glad that some of my friends caught me on-line. My best friend who in Riyadh was able to watch me get not one but two awards. Even my writers from T.O.P. watched (two of them I think.)

But the most special thing is that I was able to win something for my mom. It was her who inspired this blog entry anyway. And I think I would continue to write about my family so as to present the life that can be had for people who are in the, as they call it, home base.

I gave one of the freebie Gardania to a sampaguita vendor. I was irked when a few minutes later, she went back to insist that we buy flowers from her. I was like "Is she kidding me?" My friend wondered if the girl was the same girl. I knew it was the same girl. I sighed in frustration. Sometimes, even if you give them fish, they would ask you for the entire barrel.

Life in the Philippines can't be changed by one advocacy, it can't be turned around over night. A Gala night is a highlight but it's not the end of the support that we need to give to each other, to each Filipino around the world.

I talked to my ex and he is going home under shady circumstances. He will go home from Jeddah and faces an uncertain future here. He was supposed to put his life together and not hide again. I feel pity towards him but there are somethings that a blogger can't do and shouldn't do anything about. Like forcing a person to do what he doesn't want to do or is not in his nature to do.

There are others who have less people helping them. There are women like Ate Tess who still go home with virtually less than what they had before they left. Who go home with wounds and damaged lives that we can not heal. But we can make others AWARE that stories like those are too close to their own lives that they should be more vigilant.

H will leave for Bahrain soon. She wants to go there for her family and for herself. She will be there for two years if it pushes through. I will miss her. And I am glad that on PEBA 2010, we will always have the memories of being together to celebrate people who are like her parents, my relatives and our friends.

Stay safe, smile always, and remember that we are always praying and thinking of you here at home. I-sisimbang gabi na lang namin kayo. ^^

Champion of Change : Jorge de Guzman

Jorge de Guzman
Age: 61
Volunteers in:  Republic of the Philippines
Category: International - Social Justice
Organization: Sarnia School of Martial Arts

I read his profile and I liked his advocacy. In light of what happens in the Visconde massacre trials and in the country's women in general. His advocacy strikes at my need to protect women in this country of all levels. 

Thursday, December 16, 2010

All winners @ PEBA 2010

Not everyone will win an award, but as long as you can feel the love of your family and are able to express it yourself, then you are a winner. 

Filipino families have evolved over time. Not just because of technology or influences from other cultures but because of the circumstances that divide us.

I am a firm believer of this year's theme “Strengthening the OFW Families: Stronger Homes for a Stronger Nation” because I am a product of a strong family. And whenever I think of a place that is safe from all pain and harm, I think of home. When I try to image the bravest and most loving people I know, I see the faces of my mother and father. When I fear failure and shame, I try to recall the conversation that my father and mother had, hushed away from us, about how a man can be a good person and still be used by others to exploit and extort money from hardworking people, and I remember that with the support of the people I love and a conscience clear of all malice, I can be a good person, I can be a proud Filipino.

So to all the Overseas Filipino Workers, my Tito Pako and Tita Nancy who are in Italy; my Tita Loida in HK; my Simon cousins and their mom, Tita Tess, Tito Joven and Tita Nanet in Canada; my friends from Jeddah, Mark and Gil; my friends in Riyadh especially Reina; Ate Joy and Tita Clemen in Dubai; to the countless nameless heroes who continue to risk their lives to serve their families; to the courageous bloggers who write about what happens in their part of the world; to people like my mother who bridge the gap, the heartfelt thank you from a daughter might not be enough but I give it to you nevertheless. 

I wish you a Merry Christmas and I assure you, we will continue to pray for your safety and health as long as you are not here with us at home. 

Of Butterflies and OFW exes : before PEBA 2010

I am the kind of person who can't sleep when she is excited over something. So I made sure that I slept as early as I could yesterday. I was awake every hour after 1900. T_T It was like tiny power naps that made me think, "Am I in a double dream or is time really slow on Thursdays?"

Nevertheless, I sprang up and got ready to go to work by 2 a.m. It might be because I couldn't take the whole sleep then wake up routine my body was doing. I wore my Halliwell top in about four different ways until I finally decided that covering my arms is the best way to go. But this top keeps making the right side do a peek-a-bo. ^.~ I just need to ignore it I guess. I bought emergency clothes in case something weird happens from to 6 p.m. (believe me, things have happened before). I put on my "reina" pants and went to work.

To my dismay they changed the code for the office door so after several tries with the one that I knew the thing alarmed. I thought it would alert building security but it didn't. Pft. It was a good thing my former teammate comes in early. He opened the door using the new code.

So now I am waiting for my already overloaded schedule to not kill me so I can go to Nova to see H. Then we can go together.

The Halliwell top is getting a lot of rave. Or maybe it's because half of the time I look like a boy at work. (ROFL)

I saw a reply on an already forgotten message I sent my ex on FB. He said that he misses being with me and seeing me. And I paused for a second and thought, this time I know my tummy butterflies are not for him. They will never be again. ^^

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Yo,Bo! Komiks in UPLB!

Komikon sa UPLB !

I will go!

Feb 19, 2011.

ZOMG. Yo,Bo! or no Yo,Bo! I go! I go!!!

2011 might just be cooler than I thought. No expectations just enjoy, right?

But it would be better if there was, right?
I really need to finish all the novels and then work on the story.
Norby would be busy with his future career. (Good luck on the interview, dude!)

I need to try to remember what is going to happen in issue 4. Damn, I lost my doodle page about that. T_T,

Oh well. I hope I dream about it. Haha.

PEBA 2010 with H

Smuch I wanted to grab all of my friends to go to the event the limited number of people that can attend made me feel shy. I actually wanted to drag my parents but it's a Thursday and the would probably go as a group of 5 plus me, too embarrassing to bring that many people.
So since she might be an OFW herself soon, (I would insist that she blog about it, but she FBs more than she blogs.) I will go to PEBA's Gala night my college unni Helene.

I still need to wash the pants Reina (The Pink Tarha) gave me. The only pair of culdoroy pants I own. I have to pray that I could look like a person in my new blouse. (Did not loose enough weight to not look like a suman.)

The fact that I might not have enough money for cab fare doesn't make me feel down. So what if I have to take a bus or a jeepney? That would just make for an even more interesting blog entry.

Win or loose, as long as I get there and meet all the cool bloggers there, then I am good.

Now, if only I knew how to get there. But my city galpal can handle that. I just need to trust that everything would go down without a hitch.

Excited na ako!!!

Gross Injustice

My Acquitted poem is small scream from the already loud crowd of victims and women who are appalled by the verdict. 
As a woman, I fear for myself, my sister, my mother, my friends and all the future generation of women in this nation. This sends a positive message to all the perverts and mollestors that "Hey, if he could get out and live through that, so can I!"

And all I can say to him and to the people who let this happen, "God can't be bribed or lied to." He may be forgiving, but I heard that purgatory is a bitch. I hope they let you and your kind bend over for all eternity.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Dreaming about the C. A. T.s

I had another dream. No this blog is not a dream dictionary blog. But since I can still remember it, I might as well tell you about it. I probably won't remember it for much longer.

Anyway, it featured a group of friends who are dear to me. The Chillers and Thrillers a.k.a. C.A.T.s. In the dream we were all in our hometown and we were in a native restaurant then in a farm and we were all eating mangoes. I remember that it seemed to be a farm that one of us owned. It was Kathy's farm, to be more exact. It was odd. Last time I saw her was when I was in McDonald's and I was with  my sister and nephews.

It felt good to wake up after that dream. I think it's just about time that I should reconnect with the real world. I haven't gone out with friend for months and literally become a hermit in my tiny room. But I wasn't worried that something bad happened to any of my friends. You can't have nice dreams like that and worry. Most of my friends are happily coupled, others are focusing on their careers.

I think I am the only one who doesn't have a career goal or a life goal that I am working on. Oh well.

P.S. I didn't get a Google Adsense approval yet again. The ghost of my stupidity is continuing. I hope that I can get one soon. But if not, bah-humbug.

Reviving Pinaywriter Unpublished

I decided to make a less cluttered, more poetic blog. Here is it is Pinaywriter Unpublished

I am thinking that if I put my poems and stories in a single place, this blog would remain as my rant blog about my life and my work. ^^

I want to write love quotes, love poems, short stories and fanfiction there. I might put it some ideas for my 2011 Nanowrimo entry, who knows?

Add me up, ok? Follow me, the Pinaywriter that makes rhymes.

Monday, December 13, 2010

On Destiny and Naked Men

Remember the Korean ghost blog? I think this balances things out. I had another dream last week. I was lying on my bed then a man wearing a towel around his waist burst into my room (the exact one where I am living in now). He was HOT. He was talking in English about him being my roommate (impossible men are banned on our floor) and that he was someone I know's son. Weird.

I wonder what naked man in dreams mean. Wait. *Googling*

To see a naked person in your dream and you are disgusted by it, represents some anxiety about discovering the naked truth about that person or situation. It may also foretell of an illicit love affair, a loss of prestige or some scandalous activity. On the other hand, if you are accepting of someone else's nudity, then it implies that you can see right through them and their intentions. Or perhaps, you are completely accepting them for who they are. If you do not care about someone else's nudity, then it suggests that you need to learn not to be afraid of rejection. (from dream moods)

But the big question is, who is that guy? He told me his name. I know it. But I forgot to write it down. Crap. 

Testing my Ping

I started using Ping today. I am wondering how this integrates with my Blogger.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Big Mark and a Korean Ghost

I've been watching Korean dramas lately so I think that is where this is coming from. But for the life of me I can't understand why my dream involved Big Mark of all people.

So I was in a room and Big came in. He looked slimmer than usual but I know it was him. Then when I looked at him his face was diagonal. Seriously freaked me out so that was the point in the dream when I knew I was in a dream. (This happens to me all the time, an awareness that I am in a dream.) Then he was talking funny because maybe his mouth was like that. He was spouting words like he was scared out of his mind, like he couldn't collect enough sanity to put a sentence together. And this man can talk like an automatic gun so I slapped him on the face and told him to get a grip. He said something and pointed at a man that I had noticed in the beginning of the dream.

That was the only time that I realized that the man was not really a man but a ghost. And this ghost was not a Filipino. It was a Korean ghost.

Okay so I woke up right after that.

I cussed, "Frack you, Big!" just to appease my fear.
I looked at the window and saw someone looking in. There shouldn't be anyone there since 1) The window opens to the roof. 2) The window is closed.
I sat up and looked at it. I hissed, "Go away!" Then went back to sleep.

I remembered what my other psycho...psychic friend told me during a friend's wedding. "You do know what you attract when your hair is short, right?"

I know. I attract jerks and spirits.

Darn. I could settle for jerks. At least you can drop kick them in the nuts. Spirits are a whole different stories.

Darn it. I might need to stop watching Korean dramas for a while. Thank God I finished downloading the latest episode of Glee.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010


Here is the plan: Since I now have full control of when your stories will come out or not.

1. There would be no rejections. There would only be OVERHAULS. (will explain this waaaaaaay later)
2. There would be deadlines and if you miss it, sorry your story is not going to see the super NO RIGHT CLICK TOP site. Bleh.
3. There would be a format, if you don't follow it, three strikes and I would send you an e-mail so explosively Hellish that you might never want to write again.
4. Starting in Feb, there would be at least one novel per week. So that would be three to four novels in a month. IF THERE ARE NO NOVELS TO POST, then we just need to be patient and wait for the writers to finish their work.
MONDAY ang posting. Friday is the Teaser for Next week's novel of the week.
5. NOVELS THAT WERE NOT PROOFREAD WELL WILL BE OVERHAULED. So study the Filipino and English grammar rules and re-read your work. And watch your punctuation marks.

Lastly, I am the Editor in Chief. I am not your EDITOR. Get an Editor for your work, then ask them to send it to you. If I have to overhaul your work and the first few pages are already full of marks, it's a waste of my time. It means you didn't proofread your work. It means you are using up my time to read more proofread work. It means, hindi ko mapapanuod ang DVD ng latest Korean drama.

That means, patay ka sa akin. ^^

Writers, editors, contributors, please let your work be on pending. Ung mga draft ako lang gagawa nun. ^^

TTH - T*ng*na Totally Haggard

I have 23 students. 6 of which as twenty minute each. I informed my sup about that. I knew that their policy is 6 classes back to back. That is at least an hour. But mine was a hodgepodge of 20min and 10min classes. It was an hour and a half straight to be exact.

And all he told me was to compromise. It was something that everyone was experiencing the same hectic schedule. But honestly, I have to switch ears by 12:00 because my right ear can't hear that well because it's metaphorically bleeding from all the things my students have said for the first few hours in the day.

Yes, I am ranting. But like they said, we artsy people still need a day job. I just have way too many responsibilities that I can't quite afford to lounge around at home. My room is on Payatas mode again.

So here are the things I need to finish/do:

1) Load Smartbro.
2) Make t-shirt design for my mom's company shirt. Send it to her.
3) Make Tarp Design for my mom (shesh I really need to pay my debts to her so I can refuse work like these. ^^)
6) Finish Lee Min Ho's latest drama
7)Sleep at 10pm.
8)Clean room.
9) Wash clothes
10) List down movies in EROS (burn some and free space in Eros)

I am a Self-Knowing Self-Improving Extrovert

I took the 43 Things Personality Quiz and found out I'm a
Self-Knowing Self-Improving Extrovert

I have always had a life list. I call them my CRAZY LIST and my GOAL LIST.
My crazy list are secret weird things that I want to remove from my bucket list. They make life fun and exciting.
My Goal list makes me feel like I have a direction. They are things that are life-changing and what I want to highlight my life as a person. ^^

This coming 2011 it would include one of the things in the checklist in this quiz:

Fall in love with the right person. ^^

Guide here =>

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Manic Monday and M's Demise

I was playing Frontierville while editing a T.O.P. novel when I caught a gay friend who was working in Jeddah online. Let's call him Will. Will was the person who got me to reconnect with my ex-boyfriend. Let's call my ex, Max. Anyway, Will was thinking I was going to get back together with Max so he was doing the whole "keep your enemies closer thing with me" which was unnecessary because eventually, both of us gave Max up. So with Max out of the picture I am hoping I will have a new gay friends. Honestly, I prefer their honesty and in your face attitude over straight guys who lie to you because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Okay, I degress. Going back to the story.

Will has been "chummy" with a new guy. Let's call him, Marlon. So Marlon has a sister in Abu Dhabi. Let's call her Magda.

Magda worked for an abusive boss. Let's just say he tried to have a taste of something he was not supposed to and she fought him off. I think. Let's just say his pleasure rod would be black and blue for a while. Then being the prick that he is, he told the local police that Magda was a thief. Let's just say that her status in that country was less than legal so they just hushed it up and deported her.

The fun part starts here. They didn't give her any money to go home to her province. Wonderful, right? Fracking politicians, where are your pompuss ass promises now? Is this a sign that to the President, OFWs are really not a biggie?

Will told me about Magda's plight. They didn't know how to contact her and where she was at that time. So they asked me to call her. Luckily she was a Globe user. I had 300 pesos to my name. I asked my mom to send me load but it came after all the drama was done.

But still, thanks mom. I'll pay you during the weekend, promise.

I thought it was all a joke until she replied and told me where she was. I was hoping she was still in the city so I could sneak her in my apartment. Since my roommate doesn't seem to want to tell me if she is EVER moving in or not, then might as well right? But I had neither a futton nor food to accomodate anyone. But like my parents taught me, if you can help, help, God will provide.

So, since she was way over there all I could do was help them get her information, full name and address and the fact that she had IDs with her so that they could send her some money and she could claim it. Will had told me that some deportees have nothing but papers at times. So I was really worried. Magda told me that she had 15 pesos to her person. I later send her 30 load so she would be able to UNLICALL and call some relatives. THANK YOU GLOBE FOR YOUR USEFUL PROMOS. Anyway, all this time I was thinking, I never thought being a PEBA OFW supporter would feel like this. ^_^; It was unnerving. So this was what my mom felt whenever something nasty happens to her OFW friends. And Magda was a stranger.

She somehow got to Bacoor.  And she was staying somewhere that was asking her to pay rent. Seriously whoever brought her there and told her that she needed to pay on top of everything that happened to her is a dick. I wish I found out sooner. I wish my Bacoor friends lived there at this time or had their own places but they don't. So all I could tell Magda was to sit tight, wait for the money that would arrive on Wednesday and hope that she doesn't go nuts over hunger and depression.

But PINAYs are made of tougher things. You can never bring us down even when you kick us out of your so called rich countries.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

EIC putting her foot down - T.O.P.

As much as I want writers to work together so they can become better writers, I think I will ban collaborations from now on. KIDDING!~ hanggang tatlo na lang ang taong pwedeng magVOLT in para makagawa ng isang series. At ang mga series na ito ay dapat hindi na E-book para hindi ko mashadong gagwardiyahan. This BAN is on from today. So all collaborations made before today shall stand and THUS need to be finished. I don't want to have to be the middle man and the king pin at the same time for things like this in the future. I KNOW UNFAIR pero I want this to be crystal clear. To make a series work with one or two people only. Your series's status (if would be an e-book or not) will be determined BY ME per your request. And the criteria include the quality of the book and the status of the writer (as based on my secret list of writer status- yes I have been evaluating you all in not so secret - LIFE IS A TEST deal with it) If sinabi ko na sa site na lang, no hard feelings. If you have concerns about the security of your work on the site then I can let it be an e-book but it would only be determined as final if your co-collaborators fit my "allow to do collaboration" criteria. 

What are the criteria? 

*Must always meet deadlines*
*Grammar level is not entirely a lost cause*
*Originality of work is unprecidented*
*Quality of work is exeptional*

So everyone, you are back to zero. 

Criteria of judging will start today. 
As EIC, I will check your work and brand you as I see fit.
Don't think that it's unfair but this is a way for you to know how well you have done so far. 
This is a way to police our attitude towards making QUALITY ROMANCE NOVELS IN FILIPINO. 
What you have done so far, and how you have acted towards others in this writing community will determine whether or not I will allow your work to see the light of day. I know I sound like a tyrannt but with talent comes a responsibility to make what you deliver the best. 
Our site is for free, but that doesn't make it any less a place where we must put our best work. 

We owe it to our readers, to ourselves and to GOD who gave you the imagination to make love come alive. 

Deadlines are never going to be moved again from today. 
If I give you a date. Mark it on your calendars. Because that is the day when your work gets FILED or ACCEPTED. 

When I say Filed it means it is no longer a priority and is akin to rejected (in the real world) If no piece of your work is found in my gmail. I don't care if you had a major catastrophy in your hometown, but no excuse NOT EVEN YOUR DEATH is allowed. Because if Ate ERIN's work can become an e-book post mortim, yours can be as well. I WILL ACCEPT NO MORE EXCUSES from today. And you only have yourself to blame.

The criteria will detemine these rankings

STARGAZER - (pioneer) - most well behaved writer (no delays and sanctions)
ROSE (regular writer) - safe level 
SUNFLOWER (newbie)

LILY (female reader)
DAFFODIL (male reader)

 anyway wala namang gils na katapat to (so far) but it would determine whether you are going to be able to make e-books and series

 STARGAZERS ARE LIKE AUTHORS and Pioneers (they need not be policed since their grammar is awesome and their truthfulness and loyalty is unshakable)

 ROSES are loyal and true but can become ATUMs any time as per determined by three strikes.

They would have to prove themselves to be Roses again otherwise they would not be able to make it to Stargazers.

Sunflower is the entry level gauze for new writers male or female as they are still going to need directions

Once they have passed at least five stories or have helped in two series (non-ebook) as well as shown unshakable loyalty and great skills in writing, then I would make them ROSES.

Once they have passed at least five stories or have helped in two series (non-ebook) as well as shown unshakable loyalty and great skills in writing, then I would make them ROSES.

Friday, November 26, 2010


 I suddenly miss making videos. I don't have time lately. I still need to fix my laptop's memory and burn things that I don't use on a daily basis. Promise talaga I would buy dvds on my next pay.

I actually bought a blouse and a bling-bling for this event. I plan to wear the black pants Reina gave me (despite it being old na) and so I still need girly shoes and a belt that would hold my gut. ^_^ My tummy is still protruding but I'll just inhale half of the time and exhale when no one is looking. Because at the rate I am not eating rice, there wouldn't be enough time for me to flatten it. That and the fact that I am not exercising. I plan to tell my mom everything that would happen. It's a little hard to take them all to the event so it would just be me and my friend Helene who doesn't have work at that time. She's had experiences with regards to being abroad and living there as a child of an OFW. We are still unsure whether she would become a full-blown OFW or not but that is all in the future. If I could I would drag my friends to the event, all Makati-based ones that can make it, at least. But I can't. I was hoping that Reina would be home but she couldn't make it here for a few reasons. It would have been awesome to have both of us in one PEBA event since she is the reason I know about PEBA in the first place.

I feel a little torn lately since my boss told us that we have to work on the 24th of December. My parents had planned to go to Isabela (for the first time in many years) to celebrate Christmas there. The trip would take 13 hours by bus and I refuse to spend Christmas on a bus like I did last year. So I might not go with them. This would be the first Christmas EVER in my 25 years that I would not have to eat my mom's pasta pa-cham and whatever it is that would be our Noche Buena.

But I guess I could stay since my nephews would be all alone during Christmas. I could take them out and we could have fun. That is the least I could do for my ninong Dante who can't be here to be their Santa (although they already know that Santa is their dad). But I wonder if my my parents can take good pictures of my sister's trip (first time as a walking and talking child) to Isabela. They really suck at taking pictures, you see. And it would be a shame if she couldn't get a chance to have good pictures of her trip.

I will have to decide between what I need to do to provide money for my debts or to make memories with my family. But in case I don't go to Isabela, there is always a next time. But I wonder, what if my next boyfriend is there. *laughs* As if. I don't even know how to speak Ilocano. *yes I am slightly ashamed of that but my dad never uses it so what am I supposed to do?* Probably because one time a lady thought I was a boy and was talking to my crazy mother (who understood a bit of Ilocano) and she was actually telling me (who was only saying yes in Ilocano) that I would be perfect for her DAUGHTER. my language acquiring brain (I sometimes understand words for some reason and get to read body language well) made me realize what she was saying so I said that I was a girl (despite the elephant pants and large FUBU shirt). The clinger? The lady's son drove by on a scooter. *facepalm* Did I mention I was around fifteen and was tall for my age so she thought I was a college student. *two handed facepalm*

Anyway, I am ranting again. So back to the Gala event. I hope my pimples let up and that I would respond well to cosmetics though I don't plan to put on a lot. I hope I can get a good camera and use it. *or win one if there is even a chance of that*

Still I know that come rain or high water, I will go to Greenhills. *Did I mention it's my first time there?* So PEBA is popping one of my cherries. ^_^ Oh wait, this is my first nomination and my first blog awards night. What do you know, it's three firsts. Three cherries in one pop, way to go PEBA! ^_^

Fool Me Twice, It's My Fault

Sometimes I fell like I shouldn't have taken this job and just let other people loose sleep over waiting for stories and novels to be finished. I would just deal with my own stories and procrastinate on my own time. I would have time to clean my room, sleep late during the entire weekend and probably exercise. But I don't like to pull out tight situations by running away from responsibilities. I prefer to take my time but as long as things go my way, I would feel like I am making good time.

Don't get me wrong, I don't work that well in groups. As what I have said in the past, I don't do collaborations. The simple reason behind this is that I am a lazy motherfucker. It took me four years to finish my novel ELBI LIFE NATASHA. I don't want to ever be a burden to anyone by being the person everyone is waiting for.

I would love to give some of my ideas to other writers in the future. But I am selfish like that. I think it but I would probably never do it. For me, my story ideas are like my babies. I want to nurture them while they are still young, argue with them when they are being difficult and to laugh out loud when we talk about private jokes.

I am not as good as some of you might think. I really suck in Filipino grammar and word usage. It's my Achilles' heel. So I took this TOP job to improve that. I figured if with more exposure I became good in English then by using that premise, exposing myself to Filipino would do the same thing.

But I am an impatient person. And this is the worst kind of attitude an editor-in-chief should have. They have to be Buddhas of calmness and willing to wait for Nirvana. But I am not fat enough to be a Buddha nor am I patient enough to wait for good things to come to me.

I have asked for advice from real editors and actual novelists and they told me to cut those people loose. Which people? Those who keep giving me excuses and causes delay and problems.


This is TOP. We don't cut people off. "They can leave if they want, but we don't cut people off," I said. They told me, then suffer the consequences of your kindness.

It is true, a good deed doesn't go unpunished. And I hate it when I try to be a good person. Because I am not a good person. I am a horrible cussing loud bitch.

I know that I hate liars. I know that I hate it when people are late. I hate it when people break their promises and then give me excuses.

Sure. The reasons are valid. The thing is, I don't give a shit. I won't give a shit from now on.

I don't care if you hate me. I hate you too. Bring it on.


To all the writers and contributors who continue to make me smile, thank you for making this "job" worthwhile. Hindi ako titigil sa pagtulong sa inyo. Huwag kayong mag-alala. Grace under pressure, chicas. Keep your deadlines and we will get along. Follow the rules and I would love you long time. *giggles*

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

North Korea shells Yeongpyeong Island

Yesterday there was a message from a friend who worked in the same company until recently about how North Korea shelled Yeonpyeong Island. I didn't get to read more about it until this morning. I was suddenly worried about my student Jin who is a professional soldier. He said that they were digging up bones or something near a mountain. But the most offensive part of the news was that the shelling turned villages  from peaceful fishing communities to bombshell terror site. People who would have to work everyday to get enough food on their table are now hunkered down in shelters. This is just after their "kimchi making weekend" in Korea. So I can only imagine that within their humble homes, there are kimchi tucked in for the rest of winter. I doubt anyone reached for those stuff when the shelling happened.

And the reason behind it that sounds the most reasonable yet still disgusting is that they want to increase the fear of the people towards foreign countries so that their loyalty would strengthen and benefit the heir-apparent who doesn't have a "rap sheet" so to speak listing something akin to that of his father.

My students told me that they had hoped that this future North Korean leader would be less of what his father was and be more open to turning his country around. But the news of late shows that he might just continue the reign of idiotic terror his father and those before him had made and protected. Kim Jung-on is not the light but just another part of the darkness. The aging Kim Jong-il is no longer a threat to most but the youth and the mindset of the heir-apparent is relatively dangerous to South Korea, and in my opinion, to the world. Most of us have hoped that North Korea's new leader would be a globally aware person. But I guess nurture and nature are a big deal when they are twisted to become beneficial to only a few people.

Because if I was a North Korean who toils day after day and hopes that the new leader would pay more attention to his needs than the soldiers who march for the government, and I found myself being told to give what little food or crops that I have to the army to feed those soldiers, then perhaps I would not be so loyal as to raise my hand and salute him. But not all respect is gained by causing terror.

I think no one respects North Korea, not even South Koreans. They believe that they are ungrateful and backwards.

I can't blame them. I feel the same towards rebels and terrorist. Even those who are in the Philippines.

North bombards island base with shells



For the first time since the end of the Korean War, two civilians were found dead in one of the ruined houses due to the shelling.

My students are super pissed. I can literally hear them shake in anger when they talk about it. I had to do a lot of freetalking today since most of them are aggravated by the situation. The women are more scared than mad. Those who still have some years to do military service and were officers before are scared of being called back. I learned today that military training is for two years. Then for seven years after that, you can be called back to active service if the need arrises.
Seriously NK, you suck.

soldiers who died in yeonpyeong

people who evacuated from Yeonpyeong
South Koreans take this anger to the streets
scope of the attack

*sumala pa pala sa lagay na un*

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The 46 DAYS wedding guest challenge

I am 77 Kgs and I love rice.
I have to attend a wedding on January 8 and January 15.
There is another one in April but that is still a long way off.

I have a face full of pimples.
I have a once 55 kg body that exploded into 77 kg.
I have to lose weight in 46 days.

The holidays are coming.

The challenge is to loose SOME WEIGHT if not all.

*What I will do*

1. Enroll on my last month at the gym that I wasted 1,500 to enroll in. (if not possible, buy dumbbells, use jumping rope)
2. Exercise every after shift.
3. Not die while doing this.
4. Not eat rice. Eat emergency oatmeal provisions.
5. Avoid Jollibee and fast foods at all costs.
6. Only comfort food allowed is siomai.
7. Do not go home because there is not alternative to eat there but what is served.
8. Do not buy any japanese food from the Hachin store next door.
9. Use rubber shoes and go walking on all possible Saturdays and Sundays.
10. Hydrate when hungry.

No sodas.
No emotional eating.
Century tuna is your friend.
Pork is the enemy.

Expect a rant blog about hunger on this blog for the next 46 days.

I can do this! Fighting! Aja

Of Blogspot and Plagaziring

I have an issue with Blogspot. I feel scared that if I ever put any original content here, some troll or some talentless prick would take my poems, my story and my ideas and put it in a blog that he or she or it would pose as his own and brand it as his own.

It doesn't just make my blood boil. It chills me to the bones. It makes me sad for online writers in general.

I can understand if fans do this and post our stories in other interest forums. But it wouldn't hurt them to acknowledge the writer. They've already copied everything, couldn't they copy the NAME OF THE AUTHOR too?

But the sad thing is that the things that are popping up are the e-books that I've worked hard on. Sure he used the name of the person who wrote it, adding legitimacy to his supposed posting. But that thing was supposed to be EARNED by members and loyal readers. It was in loving memory of a dearly departed and awesome writer. It was our tribute to her talent. And that blogger/s shit all over it by posting her e-book on their page.

It is obvious that the page is profiting from the traffic that goes there. There are ads all over the place.

Please don't tell me that this is the internet and that everything is everyone else's. There is such a thing as intellectual property. There is such a thing as decency.

I believe that the tree that has the most fruits get stoned more often. But this is just a too much.

I don't care if people don't care that the writers did their best to write those novels. I don't care if my brain bleed trying to edit their grammar and their punctuations. (ubong tunong my writers need to work on these) We are trying to improve our work. We are not taking anything from you. At least not that I know of. And if we are then tell us and we would take it our and would apologize to you.

But you. There should be a circle of hell for people like you. At least thieves have the audacity to get caught and to pay the price for their transgressions.

You can troll us and we will block you. You can stalk us and we would pepper spray your mouths. But take our work and the effort that we put in them, you will have to answer to God...or my spells.

You have to remember, the original collaborator and idea man was Yahweh. How do you think those writers got those words together and put the bible together, magic? Pure human inspiration?

If anyone knows intellectual property and common courtesy policies it's HIM. So someone up there would have our backs if we just continue working diligently on our own work.

I am the EIC now. If I can't get you to understand reason, then I would like a candle at my altar for you. And believe me, you would not like the results.

So, YOU, yes you. Pull out our stories or I will never forgive you. Have some pride if not a conscience.

And to Blogspot. Police content. It's too bad that you don't because so many of your bloggers just want to raise their hands and choke unoriginal fucks like these.

All I need by Erin = e-book na kakarelease pa lang
I meant it when I said I do by C.Lily = another e-book

This is just the first. If I ever encounter this shit again. God help you because I won't.  If a TOPpers did this, not even the gods can aid you against my unbearable wrath. Hell hath no fury than the EIC scorned. 

Itaga mo yan sa bato.