Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Still Team Jacob : Tayler Lautner is Coming Out?

I have to say when I saw the picture online I was like "What is wrong with these people?"

Despite my aversion for Twilight, if push comes to shove, I am team Jacob. I know some friends who are fanatical about the guy who plays the onscreen version, Taylor Lautner.

But amidst a lot of rumors especially the Piolo Pascual one in the Philippines, people making a joke about a person's coming-out is just uncalled for.

I mean seriously. If he is gay, isn't making a joke about it a little bit...insensitive. And if he isn't, I guess his silence is a good tactic.

It reeks of "Me, gay? Seriously. Have you met my abs?"
I certainly hope to. ^.^

2011 : Big Bang Highs and Lows

No, I am not going to spazz out about Big Bang again. So read on.

You know how bloggers do a highlight reel of their year, I am not of sound mind to do that right now. Five days before 2012, my future is unsure. It's even more unsure than if was last year when E-lamp Ortigas closed up.

I am just going to try to wing this and try to remember as much as I can.

January - I attended two weddings. I almost caught the bouquet in one and I got gartered (yet again).

February - A lot of love (or at least I believed so at that time) was swirling around during this time. Watched Elbipie 14 and met Ico who I thought was Paulo at that time.

March - Diana "Haller" passed away. T_T

April - Nothing much happened here too. Summer was a bit of a dud since my grandfather couldn't go out with us. Wrote support blog for PEBA 2011.

May - Mom's birthday. My birthday. Missed going home for the month-end festival.

June - Eiga Sai. Reina's Secret Homecoming project. Went to Anawagin with JI Reina and Fried

July - End of an Era for Harry Potter

August - Grandfather passed away.

September - Dad's birthday/ Oppa Bear and Angel's Wedding(? - I wonder why I didn't remember)

October - Broke up with Ico. Given Grace in UPLB. 2LT JD Khe died in Mindanao

November -Nanorimo (failed) & Cinema One

December - PEBA 2011 (Nokia 2nd place). Sendong. Leave Spicus.

This year was fun, full of adventures and high tides as well as low tides. I learned a lot about settling for less and caution.

I just hope that I get the call I am waiting for from JPM&C so I can start the year right. I need to remember not to go out without a jacket lest I catch something.

I am clearing out my locker tomorrow and hopefully getting all the data that I have in my computer tomorrow. There are a lot of things I would leave behind. But I guess that things would look up next year. I got a call from someone from Ayala about a writing gig in one of their companies (no specific information about it). But I don't know if I can handle working in QC since I live in Makati.

I am taking my mom's electric burner by next year. I was 2k to my person, God knows what I can get from my backpay. I am yet to get my CoE and my ITR. I was under the weather for a couple of days.

I just hope that things would look up next year. I have a lot lined up and my 365 things list is not year complete. There are a few things I want to put in it. So I should revisit it.

How about you? If 2012 is the last year in the Mayan calendar and it is indeed the end of the world, what would you do to make it worthwhile?

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Christmas in Batangas

As I write this I am in Balagtas and my family along with other relatives are outside rocking "on the floor" on the karaoke. We had pancit, leche flan, spaghetti, ham with pineapples, litson, macaroni, barbeque, my dad's PINAKBET, rice and bread. Coke is of course ever present. Children are jumping and dancing, adults are singing and the men are drinking *I am from Batangas so this is super normal* But the fun and new thing this year, one of my aunt's nieces performed her gymnastics piece for us. ^.^ Did you have one of those in your parties this year, I think not.

It's fun to be home and be with my family. I always feel thankful for them. I think as I grow older, I realize just how important it is to know that when I come home, albeit the ribbing about my single status and my weight, that they are there to support me, applaud my achievements however small and that I know that my aunts would share the latest chismis and my uncles would let me take a shot of whatever they are having.

It's cold here in my aunt's place. It might not be a white Christmas but boy is it cold. I don't feel it though, because the warmth of family takes the place of a jacket.

Merry Christmas to all and I hope that you too know that your loved ones are there to celebrate this day whether you are near each other or are together in spirit.

To my friends and relatives abroad, to my students and colleagues, I hope you are in excellent spirits this eve.

Let us all be grateful of this year and hope that 2012 is better if not less tragic.

Friday, December 23, 2011

How To Survive a (Batangas) Family Reunion

I sense many people I know have Christmas blues. It's almost similar to birthday blues and PMS weepy days only there is (for Filipinos) the added pressure of family reunions.

I read this article in Yahoo about how to survive family reunions and it made me shiver in the realization that a) I am newly single, b) I am newly resigned and c) I am still 20 kgs overweight. I am a mark. An easy one at that.

This weekend is not going to be fun. People are going to tell me to loose weight. They would berate me to give their children gifts or when I will have children. Or will ask why yet again there is a black box that needs to be checked as to why my relationship crashed and burned.

So in leu of my love for lists (seriously if you are a regular reader you would know this about me) here is my Family Reunion Survival list (Christmas Edition)

1. Never be too defensive.

The more you deny something or get enraged about something the more people would rib you about it. So just make sure you do not snap at anyone.

It's best to avoid wine when stressed. In Vino Veritas. You don't want to lash out or tell your relatives how blue your 2011 has been. You have to remember that you have to see these people in the next family event. Misery might like company but remember that your family are elephants. They never forget.

2. Diversion Cousin

There is always someone with a worse life story than you. There has to be. Ask the person you are talking to about said person and surely they would love to give you the tidbits.

3. Do not fall for trap questions.

"He seems like a nice guy, doesn't he?" is something I hear people say about someone's new bf (who just got introduced to the family). Be careful of the follow-up curve ball to the gut, "How about you, when are you going to introduce your boyfriend to us para makaliskisan?" (later part means so they can check him out)

I admit to trying to be as non-defensive as I can. But sometimes I just snap at them.


Older relative: Where is your boyfriend?
Me: (on a good day) I don't have one (po).
Older relative: (pulls me towards group of men drinking half of whom I do not know) This is my Pinay, she's from UP.

*feels like I am being bartered* *makes joke about liking women after older relative leaves* *some pervert would still like that and I would give him stink eye*

Me: (after being asked that more than five times often by the same person) I killed him already.
Older relative: *silent for like a milisecond* That's too bad.
(repeat end part of the previous situation)

4. Beware of the "matchmaker" relative

There is always one and you can't be ashamed to have one. They think they know you even though they barely see you and they know someone who is just perfect for you.

I am 26. I have been "introduced" to so many family friends that are either not my type, looks like a pervert or is just wrong for me just because I never introduce my bfs to the family. I am very traditional, introductions to my family is a big deal. No man has passed that barrier so far.

When single I do these: (check if you have done it)

___Pretended to like women. *not my proudest moment, sorry lesbian and gay friends*
___Said I am seeing someone in the big city
___Talk about my disgusting habits and lack of wifely abilities
___Talk about how I like men who have bigger dicks (men with small friends would do the "it's the motion of the ocean" excuse)
___Make rude jokes
___Pretend I hate sports and all sweat related activities (so not true I love sports and hunky sweaty men)
___Tell them that I dated a gay guy and that everything I learned about sex I learned from a gay guy so I would never date a homophobe *this usually backfires since I have a tendency to talk dirty without using dirty words - usually a good flirting tool* 
___Tell them that I want someone who is like my dad (responsible, NEVER cheats or lies to my mother, hardworking, funny, a great cook, very romantic, a great father - translation Go Electra Complex on them wannabees) My dad is pretty well-known as a great guy in our community and a wonderful husband and father so men who are lazy or the anti-thesis of men like my dad tend to be wary of daddy's girls like moi.

5. Be the family photographer

I love the fact that I am the family photographer. Why? I have a decent diversion move to make people stop interrogating me.

I either call out "Picture!" and people come rushing to pose or I would say "Less talk more posing!"

Filipinos are camwhores, use that to your advantage.

6. Wear flattering clothes.

It doesn't matter if you gained weight this year, never let them see you in your jammies, these people you love and loathe. ^.^

Fashion is always a good topic to use to divert the older ladies attention.

7. Pick on somebody your own size

It's better to hang out with members of your family who are of the same age bracket. If they are the ones who cause you teeth gritting beause they lives are just oh-so-perfect and you can't handle their blabbering, do the exact opposite.

Do not compare your lives to them. Yours might not be as documented, good on paper or straight cut as theirs, but it's your life, right? Surely it's yours to live. If you want to, you can get inspired with their success or lovelives. This is the best time to ask cousins you like to hook you up with their friend or husband/bf's cool friend. Who knows, right?

8. Eat light and don't linger, mingle!

If you are going to a family Christmas party like I am, make sure not to eat like there is no tomorrow. You have to remember that there is New Year's Eve as well. If you are going to eat a lot at the actual eating time, make sure not to eat too much throughout the day.

The thing with the holiday munchies, people never stop eating or putting things in front of you. I know it's the holidays but this is not your last meal. So do not put a mountain of food on your plate.

It's a also a good idea to not just sit in one table *see #5 for a reason to move around* and make sure to catch-up with everyone, even the cousin you have hated since she took your favorite scrunchy in elementary school or the weird family friend who insists that you call him uncle *see Bridget Jones' Diary for reference*

In the Philippines, especially in my hometown, Christmas is family time. So spend time with yours.

9. Get sound advice.

This is a tricky way to make people talk about themselves or divert them from grilling you about your lack of work/lovelife/children/whateverthingthatpersonthinksisnecessaryforhappiness.

It's a way to shut up those troll relatives who can only see the bad sides of your life and doesn't know how to celebrate your achievements, like the fact that you got yourself out of a relationship that was making you an emotional eater.

People who mean well or have gone through the same problem are more capable of giving you sound advice. Be careful not to snarl when they say "Tingnan mo ang pinsan mo..." (Look at your cousin...). Do not tune them out. Make mental notes. Do not take the criticism too personally. There might be some nuggets of wisdom here and there. Sure there are thinly veiled insults too. But if what they are saying is true, can you really argue with them?

Take the snide remarks and pokes so you can get the constructive criticism too.

"I'll think about it."; "That sounds like a good idea, I'll see if I can use that to (get what you want)." ; "Thanks for the advice. If I need anymore, I know who to talk to." are good sentences and comments that can help your relative (usually an elder one) feel like you appreciate their concern. And most of them are really genuinely so.

10. Easy on the (Eggnog) Tagay.

People drink a bit more than they should when there is a party. And most of them want to be drunk because they can't handle their family when they are sober.

Just make sure you do not drink to the point of no return. For someone like me who has no filtering system, I would rather grit my teeth and stay sober. At least when I am done, I can blog about what happened. Blacking out and freaking out at a family event, any party or the streets of your hometown is not in tune with the Christmas spirit.

If you have other tips to share, be sure to write them at the comment box. ^.^

Merry Pasko & Happy Bagong Taon!

Isang Mapagpalayang Pasko sa inyong lahat! Mas maganda sana ang ating Bagong Taon! Come on 2012, be AWESOME!

Honestly, I didn't buy gifts this year. T_T I didn't have enough time and money. So I will try to make it up to my nieces and nephews next year. 

All I want for Christmas?

Just a new job that can pay for next year's adventures, bills and my independence. 

Please God help me.

Royally S'd I am

That is how I feel. It's my fault too. Dreams of working for dream company might be shattered today once I tell them in person that ex ex company took all my original CoE and documents and never returned it. There is no chance to get any of them since it was my complacency (okay, my idiocy) that lead to this.

I will just smile. Do my best on my second interview and wait for the ax to fall.

Then hope to God I get into another company if they shoot me down midflight.

It was my mistake. So I should suffer for it.

But I hope God throws me a bone. I am doing this for my family and to be a good daughter. I hope He helps me out this time around. I promise to do my best and jog away my whinning.

*fingers crossed* *happy thoughts*

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Saint and Sinner : Which one are you?

Notice I made too many typos. I was really pissed when I wrote that and very very sleepy.

For me religion is a preference. 
I was born in a Catholic family. I studied in a Catholic school until I was sixteen.
I was indoctrinated in all things Roman Catholic. 
I take the best of it and other faith group's ideas and realized that God doesn't care what church I go to. My faith is all I need. And God would not judge me if I don't read a book that someone put together as a manual. 
A Saint's Prayer is my way of bashing. At least I am not calling anyone a Pagan. -.- It's my take on what Pedro Calungsod would say to the comments and the people behind them in light of recent events in the country.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

AJ Mclean Hitched : My original boyband bias

Before Rain, Hyun Bin, Big Bang, Yongbae, Super Junior and F4. Before I was a kpop girl or an otaku, I was a solid BSB fan.

If you don't know what BSB stands for, read your boyband history again, please.

He was the only guy I liked whose facial hair didn't repulse me

It's Backstreet Boys. If you wince at the name, you are probably an N'SYNC or Boyzone fan. Again, if you don't know who they are, you have to read your boybang history, girl.

I have always liked the rapper in the group. This probably why I like T.O.P. of Big Bang.

The origin of this obsession was Alexander James Mclean.

That's A.J. Mclean to you.

My original bad boyband member crush

He got married. He's in his early thirties so it's understandable. But imagine just how angry kpop fans would be if their bias got married. Me, I just understand it to be a part of his normal life.

Leeteuk did propose to Sora (as most of you ELFs would painfully remember) but in real life, real singers do this with their real girlfriends.

And they do get married eventually. What would happen to your obsession or love when Sungmin gets married or Rain eventually reveals his future bride?

Would you love them any less? Me, no. Because I would always have the memories of the music. And I will always have fanfiction. ^.^

Goth Wedding!!!
And if I was going to loose my bias to anyone, it would have to be with a free-spirited hottie like her.

Of course other members of the band are also married. I don't know if Nick is but I think the rest are already married. But I am looking forward to how rad and out of the box AJ and Ro's kids would be. Who knows the BSB kids could form a group...right? Nah.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Again with the Zsa Zsa Zsu

zsa zsa zsu
Comes from "Sex and the City", where Carrie describes it as the feeling you get when you meet someone you really really like. That sort of lovey, butterflies feeling when you just want to be with someone.
Carrie: I met this new guy Berger, and I just get that zsa zsa zsu.

I believe that there are people who are meant to make us feel zsa zsa zu. In Filipino, I think it loosely translates to kilig. Kinikilig is actually giddy in English. (according to my friend who is like my goddess of words, it's frisson) * I think * But if you are a SATC fan I don't have to explain what zsa zsa zsu is. After Mark I thought that it was a dangerous thing to feel, that zsa zsa zsu. It blinded me for a long time. I think that zsa zsa zsu might just be my kryptonite, as it is for many women. So there was the four years of no zsa zsa zsu. It felt emptier than the years that I had my downward spiral. I think at my age, I am critical towards kilig and I am not that sure if I could ever feel it again. Until that one person who sat next to me to watch me work. I am a lot of things when I work, but I never feel the kind of crush rush that I felt that time. At least not in my twenties. It was obvious and quite embarrassing. I acted on it, being the go-getter that I am. But I was thwarted by my own handwriting and boyishness. It was awkward after that but it passed, this crush rush and I decided that it was a sign that I was really ready to love again. So when the opportunity presentend itself, I got myself a boyfriend who was not similar to any of the men I dated in the past. But I assumed wrong. That I could fall in love while in a relationship. There was no zsa zsa zsu. I cared about him a lot. But I couldn't love him more than I was capable of loving men in my past. That was just one of the reasons why I ended our relationship and I hope in time he would be able to find someone who can love him as he deserves to be loved. We would have celebrated our 300th day in December if I hadn't broken up with him. But I guess some things are not meant to be.

So, unto the night of the ball. ^.^ Kidding, it was more like our year-end party. I knew time was running out for me to see my friends at work and to enjoy being in their company. I hated that the camera that I brought has a limited battery life and that it didn't recharge correctly. But there were some pictures that made it unto other people's cameras and I would sort through them soon. Conversations that I would fondly remember and hopefully new friends that I made would make that evening a memorable event. And I won't even lie that sitting knee to knee isn't something that still makes me smile. I talked like my old self, the spunky spontaneous one that I was in my early twenties and I realized that she was still there. Though it took Red Horse to pry her out of my newly formed good girl shell. I made sure not to keep my hands on his arms. Arms that I am sure were wrought by playing sports. I teased him for liking the show that someone put on. I beat down the silent fury and made sure my eyebrow didn't go up whenever they teased him to her. In fact, I joined in on the teasing. Because it's just a crush. If he was anything else there would be squinted eyes and snarls. I didn't care, I knew I could do that if I wanted to so there was no reason to feel insecure.

I realized that zsa zsa zsu knows no age. And I am glad. If he can make me feel kilig then surely someone worthy of my love in the future would be able to make me feel that too. I just need to listen to my gut now more than ever. I will not let too much or too little shake my focus. Next year is not meant for love. Though my horoscopes keep saying otherwise. I need to find a new job and a new man might just be a casualty in the process.

But I would always smile thinking he likes Chobits and poetry and know that startling shot of energy that goes down my back when I see his eyes through his shades. At least I know I am not turning into a lesbian any time soon. It's just too bad that I really don't date guys from work.

From This

To a Miss

North Korean President passed at 69: Kim Jong Il

I was in the middle of a class with my student KJ when he blurted out "North Korean president is dead. Kim Jong Il is dead." I was torn between congratulating him and saying my condolences.

South Koreans are known for having heated and divided feelings regarding North Koreans Great Leader. He has been revered and had a firm control over his nation. Many of the things however are written to make him appear larger than life. 

He has appointed his third son to take his place. I wonder what this would mean for North Korea. Would the son be better than the father in terms of handling his nation or would he just follow in what the former Great leader's footsteps.

I am sure that South Korea is abuzz with change and even on the edge of their seats as to what this would mean for the Korean peninsula.

Photogallery : The Rise of Kim Jong Il

TOP Blog 142 : PW O.D. 2.0

I haven't been in the top 200's in a long time. It feels good. Though I know that it might be shortlived. So I am going to immortalize it here. ^.^ If you don't mind.

Thank you to all the bloggers and readers (as well as my friends who read about my rants event before the awards and althroughout the google adsense craziness.)

44! WOW!

I am just sad that every time something cool happens to me there are horrible things that are happening to other people.

Pray for the victims of Sendong

The news hit me when I got back online last Sunday. There were TOPpers who were being checked up on by other TOPpers. I didn't know what was going on. Then the articles that I read made my eyes grow bigger. It was seven days before Christmas. How could this happen seven days before Christmas?

652 Dead 808 missing in PH Floods was not the kind of news one should be reading several days before Christmas.The rain and the flash flood took so many by surprise when Typhoon Sendong hit their homes.

Manila Mommy listed the ways to donate and help out. 
Travel on a Shoestring lists the information here too 

I ask all to join me in prayer for the many lives lost and many that are still missing that they might find refuge in the Almighty or be returned to the arms of the ones they love.

Aming ama
Nawa ay gabayan mo kami
sa oras na tila nalimot na
ang init ng pagmamahal 
ng aming minamahal

nawa ay madala mo kami
sa tamang daan 
patungo sa aming nawawalang
kaibigan, kamag-anak
at kasamahan

tulungan mo po kaming tanggapin
na ang buhay ay may sugpungan
at muli pa ay buhayin ang pag-asa
na may bukas pa para bumuong muli

Hinihiling naming ang mga aral
na dala ng sakit at pagkawala 
ay hindi pumigil sa aming
magkaisang muli

Sapagkat muli pa sa iyong piling
sa takdang panahon
kami ay muling magkakasama
sa iyong kaharian magpakailanman.

Because we all deserve to be home this Christmas...If there are any information regarding helping and donation links and hotlines you are aware of, please comment here. Thanks. 

Louise Rui7:31am Dec 19
Panginoon, nawa'y masimulan po ang araw na ito na puno ng pag-asa.
Dinggin mo po ang aming panalangin at kami po ay iyong patatagin.
Bigyan po ninyo kami ng sapat na lakas upang malagpasan ang mga matitinding pagsubok na sa amin ay nagdaan.
Hawakan po ninyo ang aming mga kamay upang makaahon sa trahedyang dumating. Sa iyong pagsilang kami po ay iyong yakapin at tulungang paghilumin ang aming mga damdamin.

Haplusin po ninyo ang mga puso ng mga nawalan ng minamahal at bigyan ng pag-asang makita ang mga nawawala.
Pagalingin po ninyo ang sinumang may sakit, at protektahan naman po ninyo ang mga wala. Humihingi po kami ng inyong kapatawaran sa aming mga kasalanan at sa pagtatapos po ng taon na ito, nawa'y yakapin mo kami ng iyong pagmamahal.

Sa iyong kaarawan kami po ay nagpapasalamat para sa mga buhay na naligtas at sa mga anghel na siyang nagbibigay pag-asa sa bawat isa at sa amin upang patuloy na lumaban at manatiling matatag.




Please read this poem or share it for people who are grieving and in pain.

A Saint's Prayer