Saturday, June 29, 2013

Here comes July


I was told that I would get bitchslapped this month. Whatever that meant. All I know is that on the first day of that month, I would be with my college bestie (if my cab gets to where she is before her bus leaves for the North). On the 12th I would be seeing Rock of Ages with her and waiting for Mig Ayesa to have a three-some picture (if at all possible). I might spend the weekend with her and visit my family (which seems to be something that I do more often now - it lowers my stress to be at home kinda like a college student who leaves school worries behind during the weekend and goes all I hate Mondays Garfield when I have to go back). There would be a hot springs plus karaoke team building with my new team in LB on the 19th. I am looking forward to doing this. I miss H whenever I do go to the springs since it was her favorite "stress reliever" in the past. Then I would have to move to a new room, a smaller one and yet because this is Makati, no longer rent controlled and possibly more expensive than I would want it to be PLUS utilities. *stops rant* I would be going to KPOPFEST4 on the 28th. Don't even get me started on my Japan-based friend coming back in August.

I know my expenses are going to spike. And that is not even adding the stress of proving that I can do my new job well. The next five months being the period of time that I have to show that I was hired for a reason. I have a new source of motivation to prove that I can do well and meet my metrics because my direct sup is new at his post. Though we would still have our old TL watch over us, I want to also be able to lessen the worries of my newly promoted team manager by learning as much as I can as fast as I possibly can and working hard on my negotiation skills. I can't really call my only nego call a successful one because I just got her to agree to doing what she already proposed she would do. I want to be able to convert a non-payer to a payer. *hint on my new job*

I know that July would be a whirl of new things and blog-worthy moments. But I want to be able to get my money's worth. I want to be more creative and I want to be able to prove that I can have a day job and keep on writing.

I was right when I chose to leave the night shift. Though I don't have the hmo-awesome job that I had before which ticked off one of my life goals *Give parents HMO cards* I know that working in the morning would help me do more things. I write after work, watch things, walk home, have time to edit, read books and I can even meet up with friends...if their schedules match with mine.

I know that I earn significantly less than my contemporaries so I was glad that I learned that something I have been doing for passion might just pay off, literally, this time around. I have taken a "raket" that I was afraid to take to the next level even before. I never passed my work because I didn't think I could handle the rejection. But like I was told, if I work with friends, then I would be able to work on my creative dead-end.

I know that I can adapt to change if the situation allows for me to like what I am doing. Although my new day job is difficult, I enjoy the challenge and I feel like my lateral thinking, which I had not needed to use in my customer service related job is now going to be awakened. Test for results then put the pieces together. I don't find myself spacing out at work and thinking of my story plots. This is a habit my mind does when I am bored out of my coconut. I still need to test just how apologetic customer service has made me and then shed it, slowly or abruptly would depend on what kind of portfolio I would have in July. But what I know is that all that I need to compete with is old me. To learn a little bit faster, "get it" and "upgrade" my critical thinking skills. To skip trace better and find someone, "professional stalker" sounds weird but I like it. I might even be able to use this with how I write or what I write. My mind would be exercised and now I don't have to escape from my workplace since I like the people I work with and I feel like I am getting the hang of what I am supposed to be doing.

The best thing about it is that there is always something new to learn. I don't spend the entire day doing the same thing because every thing can lead to new things. Sometimes one misses routine. But in my single-blessed life right now, I need to have a job that can be challenging. I just hope that I am able to do my job well so I can get the bonus that I hope to get that is why I moved to this new company.

It helped a lot that I walk to work now. I don't have to feel stressed when I am waiting for a ride. Because I am constantly moving, I see new things every day. Maybe not too different but there is time for me to think while I walk and sweat out a bit. *I really should get a pair of shoes for that, for running after work.* But I would have to let that take the back seat since I would be working on editing novels after work for the next few days.

It's a challenge for me to edit other people's work. One because I am an innately selfish person. I would rather re-write a bad piece than read through it. Know what I mean? I just hope that our venture would be successful and that we are able to get something out of it. I am looking forward to it.

There are a lot of things to do and I have decided not to make a list on my 28th birthday because I didn't want to have to check off things and leave things undone again. It adds to guilt and I have enough on my mind than worry about that. I am thinking that the less things I think I HAVE TO CHECK OFF my list, the more things I would actually be able to accomplish.

Who knows, befor the year ends, I would actually be able to finish my BigB Series.

ON fangirling

On another note , I realized that sometimes I am a bit of a ssaeng fanNoona. I am thinking now that I would write my YG Mafia as free novels and just give a copy to the person who I made it for but I would have to place them in TOP/read. I would just be friendly online and spazz out whenever I see them. But I don't need to be to feeling close. I need to remember that we are in different age boxes and that it could be un-ME to be so into something most of my friends of the same age are going "HUH?" at. Gotta start acting my age...*boy that's a hard thought*

Still I am thinking of making fanNoona appreciation shirts. Though I don't think I would ever get the shirt sizes for the people I want to give it to. T_T I would have to have to guess their shirt sizes. But since no one is replying. Then I would just have to park this project for now. If I have the time and the right font, I would be able to put it together. Note to self, find similar to YG used fonts for shirt designs for fancovergroups I like.

*as of presstime I have the shirt sizes that I need I just need the time to design the shirts and then get them printed and find a way to have them sent to one of the members so that the others can get it from him*
*as of presstime I have the fonts I want to use but still looking for the coolest font I can use per member shirt design. I hope I can have time to actually get a more original looking design for the shirt than this*

This would be on a white shirt *dummy design*
I want to be able to put a yellow crown on the word BikBaeng T_T 
I need to find more time to do it

I should do a test run muna so I don't get disappointed with the place where I want to have this done. I can't be stuck with meh shirts to give out. T_T

If I want to dance to my own KPOP beat I would have to do it in my new tiny room which I would have to move into. If I wanted to keep the memories, I would have to digitize them. Because I don't have enough space in my life for too many pieces of paper. I would have to buy a usb again and remember that small spaces can be useful when you need to hide something very important and keep them close.

I have a button to wear on a special day and I hope he would like it.


I think I have had the chance to understand this and have it applied in my current state. I am able to balance my days to when I enjoy my work and learn from it and when I can spend time being creative; reading, writing and editing.

I am hoping to make July and August more sociable. I miss hanging out with Hot Mamah and I wonder if she is doing well at her new post. I wonder about Ysac and Fried and their love lives. <3 I wonder about what R and I would SATC like talk about. I wonder when I would be comfortable enough to get a new haircut, a really short reminiscent of SPUNKY me short kinda hair. I want to be able to talk to J again about life and terrorize A about sexniques.

As per usual, Cosmo hit the mark on June's issue. I really need to learn how to save my money. I am afraid that because I feel like I have more now since I had a little bit of an increase on my basic, I would turn up on my lifestyle expenses. I am so inept in this because I still live paycheck to paycheck. I want to be able to have a savings that's for travel (my new company has more holidays which I can use as days to travel or just to go somewhere I can sit down and write without having to be stuck in my even smaller new room).

I miss wide open spaces. I miss kilig much moments. I miss kissing, the simple act of it and the passion of it.

I wish that I would fall in love again. Being too busy for love is so OLD MAID CIRCA 1990s. I am woman of the new millenia. I can marry in my 40s like Carrie if I want to. But I think that being lonely doesn't suit me. Being bored is so teener of me. Obviously I have so much to do.

I ask myself sometimes, am I really using my weight as an excuse because I am afraid to date again. I was told that I missed out on great guys because I chose the wrong men to love. *chuckle* But without those experiences, I would not understand myself and what I want in my life. A man whose passion is to make me laugh. This may seem too simple but believe me it's not. I don't mean laugh ha-ha but laugh my loud no-holds bar laugh because I didn't expect that he would do something so simple or something so corny that would make me love him more. A man who has his own thing and is confident in my love for him so I can do what I want, like edit novels after work without him telling me that he didn't understand why I do it. *that was my prime reason for breaking up with someone before* Someone who can laugh at himself and the situation but would not make fun of someone just so he would feel better about himself. Someone who would have small achievements that we could celebrate together and even bigger dreams for our future together.

See? Not so simple, right?

I am looking forward to July. It's less than a couple of days away. If I look back and see how many things, how many small changes and large ones I have made I feel scared that this is how things would be from now on. Would I recognize myself by next year? I just hope all the changes are for the better. I hope that all the risks that are taken are going to be worth it.

All I need to focus on is BALANCE. My time. My energy. My passion. Energize then go on to the next task.

Go me!


Saturday, June 22, 2013

Me Na-OVERHEARD ka ba? Ako Meron.

It's a great place to share your stories. There are all kinds of people who had all kinds of experiences. I did it once na ata. But I am more lost in the jokes, the SPARKS moments and the nostalgia of it all. I can feel which stories were embellished being a writer myself  (by passion and by training).

But more so, it's like getting a piece of it all back. The days when I didn't care about attendance, when I was literally rolling in the grass and laughing like there is no such thing as an echo.

When people wonder why I laugh so hard, it's because I got used to doing it. Nothing to bounce off on in the big campus at the foot of the mountains, I knew that laughter and tears where the greatest things in the world. One made you light-headed and happy and the latter made you light-hearted and stronger.

I also learned that volunteerism and activism isn't something that we can confine in just the regular meaning of those words. That each of use can become something useful to society.

I even had my religious experiment while I was there. Among other experiments that would not be mentioned here lest my parents read it. ^.^ So when news of this was OVERHEARD by someone, SPARKS did arise, but of a different kind. Conversations veered away from what my original point was. And I decided that discussing it with people without me being actually able to do anything other than support those who can voice out closer to the homebase, was futile. I even restricted my feed to make sure those whom I might hurt with my opinions and I chose not to talk to about my opinions no longer needed to see them.

But every now and again, I look at my notifications and smile. That some people understood where I was coming from. And the things that I did in the past still had ripples. Of the good kind. Sometimes I believe that I was the most selfish person who ever studied in that school and that we all eventually became apathetic. But every once in a while I remember that we were more idealistic then. And despite just being that, we did our best to show IN OUR ACTIONS that we were worthy of the subsidy that the PEOPLE gave for our education.

In my head, even the manong driver deserved my respect because he was paying for my education. And my life in ELBI was full of LESSONS that I bring with me wherever I go. Someone told me once that I need to let go of my past to be able to face the future that is inevitably not good. But how can I when that past, my parent's upbringing, my mejobadgirl days in UPLB and my experiments with my personality and my education grounded me and guides me still.

Many of us only go back to ELBI to try to relive the olden days. But we forget that everything changes. Some more abominable than others. Some we need to embrace, others we need to slay or fight against.

My stand on this OVERHEARD over bibles distributed during the campus tour still stands. Discrimination is felt only by those in the minority. And if I was a Freshman who was not a Christian or a Catholic, I would feel rejected. And though most people think that it's not bad because they were not forced to take anything, it is the THOUGHT of not being able to BELONG in a foreign place that may lead to scars. I don't care about all the other rules and the hoopla that was made after that point. I just want to know how they would explain to that alienated Freshman that he or she is still welcome in UP.

Check the LINK HERE


Freethinkers blog about it 

I remember one comment that I made something akin to You are in UP and that it's okay for you to be a freethinker. And a Freethinker is not just someone who thinks freely (duh) but someone who acts upon his sense of justice and understands the need to go against the flow of the masses.

I hope that the students especially the Freshmen and the volunteers that now roam my beloved YUPIELBI, find some time to take their thumbs off their bloody phones and look around, LISTEN, OBSERVE, EXPERIENCE the need to have an opinion and acting righteously so.

If I was there I would not have been kept silent. I would not have touched a single Bible or offered a single one TO ANYONE. I would have packed it and said to the dear Madam that she has overstepped her authority. I would have been shaking in fear of getting banned from SU, that is for sure. But I would have taken a different kind of activism and believed in what I stand firm on, that EVERY FRESHMAN, every student had a right to feel like the university WELCOMES them regardless of what GOD or school of thought they believed in.

I walked in a UPLB where Atheists made great teachers but where students prayed everyday for better things to come. Where nature enveloped us and reminded us that there is a higher being that made all this, even if we believed in him or not. I lived there for a short time but it changed me, made me stronger and appreciate that even if I had a different way of thinking as suppose to how my parents think, that they are not stupid or ignorant. I was just a little bit more enlightened than them. And that if not for them, I would not have the chance to mingle amongst believers and non-believers. And I would not understand the difference between freethinkers and fanatics.

Honestly. I don't give a shit about the rules that they broke. But I know that they broke them.


TO ALL THE FRESHIES this is my reminder to you. 

NEVER LET UPLB change who you are for the worse. 
Never compromise your beliefs. 
And always BRING AN UMBRELLA. ^^ To make sure to protect you from the sun, the rain and the falling bullshit hurled at you. 


Sunday, June 9, 2013

YG High : YG Family Con 2013 : YGstan Fangirl

I was browsing through my public facebook when I chanced upon a link from the many fangirl posts that was on my news feed and saw YG High. I looked at it and I had a feeling that I haven't been to any conventions. I missed the recent comics conventions and even the numerous FCBD and felt sad. I just recently finished writing Sheila's Kwon for a former officemate *guess what he first name is* who has a GD bias and was feeling particularly proud of our boys (meaning Big Bang) and our girls (meaning 2ne1) and YG artists in general. So I mentioned going together to Sheila and we coordinated it. I would have a busy life leading to that day since I was moving to a new company and YG High was the silver lining in all the stress that I was to endure. I figured doing this would encourage me to think that there are still a lot of good things going for me. New job. I would be in the same company as my college roommie Annette. I would be walking distance from work and I would have none of the drama that was happening over in the old company. Though I missed my friends there I didn't miss a whole lot of other people, except maybe TEAM at HEART. They know who they are. <3

I didn't expect anything from this Kpop convention. Though I have been  a VIP for years I thought I was too old to attend these kinds of events. Usually there was something else that was scheduled or that I didn't know about it until it was over. So YG High was going to be my first time. *There are not a lot of those in my life and I was glad I still had things to check off in my crazy list since obviously going to a Kpop Con was not one of the GOAL things to do in life.

Boy was I wrong.

I had brought my dad's cloud tablet just so I would have something to use when I got bored but I ended up propping it up the whole time, taking pictures after pictures and videos of some of the cutes and nicest covers I have yet to see.

We have seen those people who post on youtube and you know they took the time to edit things out. But since I grew up loving theater during my UPLB days I knew a live performance was still better than anything else that can go viral. This is the reason why even if I was not able to see BIG BANG up close I still went to the concert and watched from all the way up in the cheapest seats. I hope I would have the money and the time to watch them upclose next time. I would scream my lungs off.

Speaking of screaming and no voice that is what happened to moi by Monday. After Ella, Sheila and I took pics, took part in getting our report cards stamped (we put together puzzles in the Lee Hi - read as Lee High, we had the cute pic at EPIK High's booth, I rattled off the Se7en trivia I liked the most - leaked couple picture with his gf, *what did we do at Big Bang high - I forgot -darn I knew I should've written it down and other things - long story short I got all the stamps needed) then dropped them into the black box of fandom prices.

No one in our trio won anything though there was a girl named Kate who almost won the grand prize but was the name after the real winner's name was called *he was some fanboy that I hate and envy because he had so many CDs there it's awful I didn't win* Kate and I talked fandom and she shared her frustration regarding what happened. I don't know if she managed to find my fanpage. I didn't have any more battery for us to take a picture together but we shared our fandom woes and bliss on the MRT ride home.
She found my fanpage *whew* ^.^ 

She got off at Guada and I had to move forward to Ayala without her. But if not for her I would have walked around Eastwood in my sabog state of tiredness and YG LSS for much longer than I should.

Funny I didn't notice until she pointed it out KATE was in the crowd I took a pic off.

Can you spot Kate?

Sheila and Ella were much much more quiet as fangirls go. Me, I was not at all restrained. I was a fanjumma after all. What is pride? What is Seoul shattering pride? I got a pic of Bik Baeng's Youngdeezy even before they performed. Yongbae is my original bias so you know. Fangirl drooling pag me time.

He was nice enough to stay for another picture even if my blasted tablet was not liking me so much

He is a member of a cover group name BIK BAENG 

They are #KwonLeadah as GDragon #YoungDeezy as YB #SeungGehj as the original Seungri #Cyrusaur as TOP #DaeChrod as Daesung. For this event they had a sub-Seungri that girls went crazee over. Why, uhm...he looks like a cutie Seungri version of 17. Kailangan pa bang imemorize yan. And the kid had mad dancing skills.

There were so many peformers and quite frankly I was too busy walking around trying to get pictures of the fanboys with the spazzy fangirls that I didn't get to write down the names or catch the names of the other performers and contestants.

But oddly I felt like watching this group practice. I didn't know who they were, for all I knew they could also be an intermission number. But they made me remember my friends who were in dance orgs in college. They energy they were emitting reminder me of how Wyre Underground and Street Jazz are before a performance or a dance party.

Little did I know that I would be converted into a Say-on for Se-Eon.

Fanboy <3 Cover Group

Fangirling is the main purpose of our trip so I made sure Sheila had this before we left

BikBaeng's KwonLeadah and the RiRi sub Josh were fanservicing all over the place. Even when Wes and Chi asked them to help out with a game, they ended up making VIP spazz in real time. Camwhore these boys. I love them for that though. ^.^ I hope to have a better camera when I see them again so I can take their picture. I actually managed to figure out a YG Mafia fanfic story loophole I am having when I dreamt that I invited Bik Baeng, DCrown (more on them later) and Big Bang Faction to recreate videos and such that landed my character into YGE. So I am thankful for the fanservicing fanboys who in the terms of another fangirl "bumuhay sa katawang lupa ko". 

WES : Seungri Tama na yan!~ 

There were a lot of funny moments like the WES vs Panda Hug fanservice of Big Bang Faction. 

There were a lot of great performers, former champions, kpop reps and fangroups

I finally figured out who Mister E is. I heard a couple of former co-teachers talk about them. Since I am also a Blackjack I enjoyed their awesome performance.

HEA7EN pics here  This boy had mad dancing skills. I will definitely want to shoot him dancing next time around. 

I was having some issues with Youtube being a mofo who doesn't like me posting stuff T_T so I placed the videos in my photobucket

Diamond Crown (DCrown) Kebs TOP and Bik Baeng's GDTOP duo made me loose my voice. Forgive the screaming.


Only merch I bought was a pair of Sol socks. Next time I plan to buy TOP socks, panda socks and a pair GD socks and Dara socks and wear them as DARAGON socks, one is GD the other is Dara. ^.^


I am planning to blog about the cover groups a little bit later. I am planning to make mini-teasers for them when I get the time. T_T For now...I will just keep it in a more general "this is what I experienced during the event" kinda thing. Though FB convo with the fanboys have been nice and they are so perceptive of the praises. ^.^ I guess I just like the idea of fanboys because I haven't seen much of them.



ME Fangirling 

I just realized I don't have a picture with KWONLEADAH!!!  Seriously WHY DID I  FORGET THAT?!? Oh wait. Coz I was busy getting Sheila her pic with JM. T_T OKAY next time I will most definitely take a picture with KWONLEADAH. 

Dancers like SOL make me remember : MARRY A GUY WHO DANCES. *wink WINK* for THAT reason. Ahahhaa If you understood me you are very dirty. 


For VIDEOS go to Pinaywritertop's CHANNEL  


See you all next year and in other events!

Let's pray I have a better camera then. Kekeke.

To all VIPs and YGstans! HWAITING!~ 

NOTE TO FANGIRL SELF : Have a Three way...PICTURE WITH  KWONLEADAH AND KEBS_TOP when I see them again. I can't believe I missed getting pics with them. T_T Gesh. That's probably because I had no one to take our picture...and my tablet was dead by the time we had do dance GENTLEMAN
AND LASTLY Because BOSS AND GAHO also need fans.

Presenting the fandog.