Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Manic Monday and M's Demise

I was playing Frontierville while editing a T.O.P. novel when I caught a gay friend who was working in Jeddah online. Let's call him Will. Will was the person who got me to reconnect with my ex-boyfriend. Let's call my ex, Max. Anyway, Will was thinking I was going to get back together with Max so he was doing the whole "keep your enemies closer thing with me" which was unnecessary because eventually, both of us gave Max up. So with Max out of the picture I am hoping I will have a new gay friends. Honestly, I prefer their honesty and in your face attitude over straight guys who lie to you because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Okay, I degress. Going back to the story.

Will has been "chummy" with a new guy. Let's call him, Marlon. So Marlon has a sister in Abu Dhabi. Let's call her Magda.

Magda worked for an abusive boss. Let's just say he tried to have a taste of something he was not supposed to and she fought him off. I think. Let's just say his pleasure rod would be black and blue for a while. Then being the prick that he is, he told the local police that Magda was a thief. Let's just say that her status in that country was less than legal so they just hushed it up and deported her.



The fun part starts here. They didn't give her any money to go home to her province. Wonderful, right? Fracking politicians, where are your pompuss ass promises now? Is this a sign that to the President, OFWs are really not a biggie?

Will told me about Magda's plight. They didn't know how to contact her and where she was at that time. So they asked me to call her. Luckily she was a Globe user. I had 300 pesos to my name. I asked my mom to send me load but it came after all the drama was done.

But still, thanks mom. I'll pay you during the weekend, promise.

I thought it was all a joke until she replied and told me where she was. I was hoping she was still in the city so I could sneak her in my apartment. Since my roommate doesn't seem to want to tell me if she is EVER moving in or not, then might as well right? But I had neither a futton nor food to accomodate anyone. But like my parents taught me, if you can help, help, God will provide.

So, since she was way over there all I could do was help them get her information, full name and address and the fact that she had IDs with her so that they could send her some money and she could claim it. Will had told me that some deportees have nothing but papers at times. So I was really worried. Magda told me that she had 15 pesos to her person. I later send her 30 load so she would be able to UNLICALL and call some relatives. THANK YOU GLOBE FOR YOUR USEFUL PROMOS. Anyway, all this time I was thinking, I never thought being a PEBA OFW supporter would feel like this. ^_^; It was unnerving. So this was what my mom felt whenever something nasty happens to her OFW friends. And Magda was a stranger.

She somehow got to Bacoor.  And she was staying somewhere that was asking her to pay rent. Seriously whoever brought her there and told her that she needed to pay on top of everything that happened to her is a dick. I wish I found out sooner. I wish my Bacoor friends lived there at this time or had their own places but they don't. So all I could tell Magda was to sit tight, wait for the money that would arrive on Wednesday and hope that she doesn't go nuts over hunger and depression.

But PINAYs are made of tougher things. You can never bring us down even when you kick us out of your so called rich countries.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

EIC putting her foot down - T.O.P.

As much as I want writers to work together so they can become better writers, I think I will ban collaborations from now on. KIDDING!~ hanggang tatlo na lang ang taong pwedeng magVOLT in para makagawa ng isang series. At ang mga series na ito ay dapat hindi na E-book para hindi ko mashadong gagwardiyahan. This BAN is on from today. So all collaborations made before today shall stand and THUS need to be finished. I don't want to have to be the middle man and the king pin at the same time for things like this in the future. I KNOW UNFAIR pero I want this to be crystal clear. To make a series work with one or two people only. Your series's status (if would be an e-book or not) will be determined BY ME per your request. And the criteria include the quality of the book and the status of the writer (as based on my secret list of writer status- yes I have been evaluating you all in not so secret - LIFE IS A TEST deal with it) If sinabi ko na sa site na lang, no hard feelings. If you have concerns about the security of your work on the site then I can let it be an e-book but it would only be determined as final if your co-collaborators fit my "allow to do collaboration" criteria. 

What are the criteria? 

*Must always meet deadlines*
*Grammar level is not entirely a lost cause*
*Originality of work is unprecidented*
*Quality of work is exeptional*

So everyone, you are back to zero. 

Criteria of judging will start today. 
As EIC, I will check your work and brand you as I see fit.
Don't think that it's unfair but this is a way for you to know how well you have done so far. 
This is a way to police our attitude towards making QUALITY ROMANCE NOVELS IN FILIPINO. 
What you have done so far, and how you have acted towards others in this writing community will determine whether or not I will allow your work to see the light of day. I know I sound like a tyrannt but with talent comes a responsibility to make what you deliver the best. 
Our site is for free, but that doesn't make it any less a place where we must put our best work. 

We owe it to our readers, to ourselves and to GOD who gave you the imagination to make love come alive. 

Deadlines are never going to be moved again from today. 
If I give you a date. Mark it on your calendars. Because that is the day when your work gets FILED or ACCEPTED. 

When I say Filed it means it is no longer a priority and is akin to rejected (in the real world) If no piece of your work is found in my gmail. I don't care if you had a major catastrophy in your hometown, but no excuse NOT EVEN YOUR DEATH is allowed. Because if Ate ERIN's work can become an e-book post mortim, yours can be as well. I WILL ACCEPT NO MORE EXCUSES from today. And you only have yourself to blame.

The criteria will detemine these rankings

STARGAZER - (pioneer) - most well behaved writer (no delays and sanctions)
ROSE (regular writer) - safe level 
SUNFLOWER (newbie)

LILY (female reader)
DAFFODIL (male reader)

 anyway wala namang gils na katapat to (so far) but it would determine whether you are going to be able to make e-books and series

 STARGAZERS ARE LIKE AUTHORS and Pioneers (they need not be policed since their grammar is awesome and their truthfulness and loyalty is unshakable)

 ROSES are loyal and true but can become ATUMs any time as per determined by three strikes.

They would have to prove themselves to be Roses again otherwise they would not be able to make it to Stargazers.

Sunflower is the entry level gauze for new writers male or female as they are still going to need directions

Once they have passed at least five stories or have helped in two series (non-ebook) as well as shown unshakable loyalty and great skills in writing, then I would make them ROSES.

Once they have passed at least five stories or have helped in two series (non-ebook) as well as shown unshakable loyalty and great skills in writing, then I would make them ROSES.

Friday, November 26, 2010



 I suddenly miss making videos. I don't have time lately. I still need to fix my laptop's memory and burn things that I don't use on a daily basis. Promise talaga I would buy dvds on my next pay.

I actually bought a blouse and a bling-bling for this event. I plan to wear the black pants Reina gave me (despite it being old na) and so I still need girly shoes and a belt that would hold my gut. ^_^ My tummy is still protruding but I'll just inhale half of the time and exhale when no one is looking. Because at the rate I am not eating rice, there wouldn't be enough time for me to flatten it. That and the fact that I am not exercising. I plan to tell my mom everything that would happen. It's a little hard to take them all to the event so it would just be me and my friend Helene who doesn't have work at that time. She's had experiences with regards to being abroad and living there as a child of an OFW. We are still unsure whether she would become a full-blown OFW or not but that is all in the future. If I could I would drag my friends to the event, all Makati-based ones that can make it, at least. But I can't. I was hoping that Reina would be home but she couldn't make it here for a few reasons. It would have been awesome to have both of us in one PEBA event since she is the reason I know about PEBA in the first place.

I feel a little torn lately since my boss told us that we have to work on the 24th of December. My parents had planned to go to Isabela (for the first time in many years) to celebrate Christmas there. The trip would take 13 hours by bus and I refuse to spend Christmas on a bus like I did last year. So I might not go with them. This would be the first Christmas EVER in my 25 years that I would not have to eat my mom's pasta pa-cham and whatever it is that would be our Noche Buena.

But I guess I could stay since my nephews would be all alone during Christmas. I could take them out and we could have fun. That is the least I could do for my ninong Dante who can't be here to be their Santa (although they already know that Santa is their dad). But I wonder if my my parents can take good pictures of my sister's trip (first time as a walking and talking child) to Isabela. They really suck at taking pictures, you see. And it would be a shame if she couldn't get a chance to have good pictures of her trip.

I will have to decide between what I need to do to provide money for my debts or to make memories with my family. But in case I don't go to Isabela, there is always a next time. But I wonder, what if my next boyfriend is there. *laughs* As if. I don't even know how to speak Ilocano. *yes I am slightly ashamed of that but my dad never uses it so what am I supposed to do?* Probably because one time a lady thought I was a boy and was talking to my crazy mother (who understood a bit of Ilocano) and she was actually telling me (who was only saying yes in Ilocano) that I would be perfect for her DAUGHTER. my language acquiring brain (I sometimes understand words for some reason and get to read body language well) made me realize what she was saying so I said that I was a girl (despite the elephant pants and large FUBU shirt). The clinger? The lady's son drove by on a scooter. *facepalm* Did I mention I was around fifteen and was tall for my age so she thought I was a college student. *two handed facepalm*

Anyway, I am ranting again. So back to the Gala event. I hope my pimples let up and that I would respond well to cosmetics though I don't plan to put on a lot. I hope I can get a good camera and use it. *or win one if there is even a chance of that*

Still I know that come rain or high water, I will go to Greenhills. *Did I mention it's my first time there?* So PEBA is popping one of my cherries. ^_^ Oh wait, this is my first nomination and my first blog awards night. What do you know, it's three firsts. Three cherries in one pop, way to go PEBA! ^_^

Fool Me Twice, It's My Fault

Sometimes I fell like I shouldn't have taken this job and just let other people loose sleep over waiting for stories and novels to be finished. I would just deal with my own stories and procrastinate on my own time. I would have time to clean my room, sleep late during the entire weekend and probably exercise. But I don't like to pull out tight situations by running away from responsibilities. I prefer to take my time but as long as things go my way, I would feel like I am making good time.

Don't get me wrong, I don't work that well in groups. As what I have said in the past, I don't do collaborations. The simple reason behind this is that I am a lazy motherfucker. It took me four years to finish my novel ELBI LIFE NATASHA. I don't want to ever be a burden to anyone by being the person everyone is waiting for.

I would love to give some of my ideas to other writers in the future. But I am selfish like that. I think it but I would probably never do it. For me, my story ideas are like my babies. I want to nurture them while they are still young, argue with them when they are being difficult and to laugh out loud when we talk about private jokes.

I am not as good as some of you might think. I really suck in Filipino grammar and word usage. It's my Achilles' heel. So I took this TOP job to improve that. I figured if with more exposure I became good in English then by using that premise, exposing myself to Filipino would do the same thing.

But I am an impatient person. And this is the worst kind of attitude an editor-in-chief should have. They have to be Buddhas of calmness and willing to wait for Nirvana. But I am not fat enough to be a Buddha nor am I patient enough to wait for good things to come to me.

I have asked for advice from real editors and actual novelists and they told me to cut those people loose. Which people? Those who keep giving me excuses and causes delay and problems.


This is TOP. We don't cut people off. "They can leave if they want, but we don't cut people off," I said. They told me, then suffer the consequences of your kindness.

It is true, a good deed doesn't go unpunished. And I hate it when I try to be a good person. Because I am not a good person. I am a horrible cussing loud bitch.

I know that I hate liars. I know that I hate it when people are late. I hate it when people break their promises and then give me excuses.

Sure. The reasons are valid. The thing is, I don't give a shit. I won't give a shit from now on.

I don't care if you hate me. I hate you too. Bring it on.


To all the writers and contributors who continue to make me smile, thank you for making this "job" worthwhile. Hindi ako titigil sa pagtulong sa inyo. Huwag kayong mag-alala. Grace under pressure, chicas. Keep your deadlines and we will get along. Follow the rules and I would love you long time. *giggles*

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

North Korea shells Yeongpyeong Island

Yesterday there was a message from a friend who worked in the same company until recently about how North Korea shelled Yeonpyeong Island. I didn't get to read more about it until this morning. I was suddenly worried about my student Jin who is a professional soldier. He said that they were digging up bones or something near a mountain. But the most offensive part of the news was that the shelling turned villages  from peaceful fishing communities to bombshell terror site. People who would have to work everyday to get enough food on their table are now hunkered down in shelters. This is just after their "kimchi making weekend" in Korea. So I can only imagine that within their humble homes, there are kimchi tucked in for the rest of winter. I doubt anyone reached for those stuff when the shelling happened.

And the reason behind it that sounds the most reasonable yet still disgusting is that they want to increase the fear of the people towards foreign countries so that their loyalty would strengthen and benefit the heir-apparent who doesn't have a "rap sheet" so to speak listing something akin to that of his father.

My students told me that they had hoped that this future North Korean leader would be less of what his father was and be more open to turning his country around. But the news of late shows that he might just continue the reign of idiotic terror his father and those before him had made and protected. Kim Jung-on is not the light but just another part of the darkness. The aging Kim Jong-il is no longer a threat to most but the youth and the mindset of the heir-apparent is relatively dangerous to South Korea, and in my opinion, to the world. Most of us have hoped that North Korea's new leader would be a globally aware person. But I guess nurture and nature are a big deal when they are twisted to become beneficial to only a few people.

Because if I was a North Korean who toils day after day and hopes that the new leader would pay more attention to his needs than the soldiers who march for the government, and I found myself being told to give what little food or crops that I have to the army to feed those soldiers, then perhaps I would not be so loyal as to raise my hand and salute him. But not all respect is gained by causing terror.

I think no one respects North Korea, not even South Koreans. They believe that they are ungrateful and backwards.

I can't blame them. I feel the same towards rebels and terrorist. Even those who are in the Philippines.

North bombards island base with shells




For the first time since the end of the Korean War, two civilians were found dead in one of the ruined houses due to the shelling.

My students are super pissed. I can literally hear them shake in anger when they talk about it. I had to do a lot of freetalking today since most of them are aggravated by the situation. The women are more scared than mad. Those who still have some years to do military service and were officers before are scared of being called back. I learned today that military training is for two years. Then for seven years after that, you can be called back to active service if the need arrises.
Seriously NK, you suck.

soldiers who died in yeonpyeong

people who evacuated from Yeonpyeong
South Koreans take this anger to the streets
scope of the attack

*sumala pa pala sa lagay na un* http://joongangdaily.joins.com/article/view.asp?aid=2928905








Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The 46 DAYS wedding guest challenge

I am 77 Kgs and I love rice.
I have to attend a wedding on January 8 and January 15.
There is another one in April but that is still a long way off.

I have a face full of pimples.
I have a once 55 kg body that exploded into 77 kg.
I have to lose weight in 46 days.

The holidays are coming.

The challenge is to loose SOME WEIGHT if not all.

*What I will do*

1. Enroll on my last month at the gym that I wasted 1,500 to enroll in. (if not possible, buy dumbbells, use jumping rope)
2. Exercise every after shift.
3. Not die while doing this.
4. Not eat rice. Eat emergency oatmeal provisions.
5. Avoid Jollibee and fast foods at all costs.
6. Only comfort food allowed is siomai.
7. Do not go home because there is not alternative to eat there but what is served.
8. Do not buy any japanese food from the Hachin store next door.
9. Use rubber shoes and go walking on all possible Saturdays and Sundays.
10. Hydrate when hungry.

No sodas.
No emotional eating.
Century tuna is your friend.
Pork is the enemy.

Expect a rant blog about hunger on this blog for the next 46 days.

I can do this! Fighting! Aja

Of Blogspot and Plagaziring

I have an issue with Blogspot. I feel scared that if I ever put any original content here, some troll or some talentless prick would take my poems, my story and my ideas and put it in a blog that he or she or it would pose as his own and brand it as his own.

It doesn't just make my blood boil. It chills me to the bones. It makes me sad for online writers in general.

I can understand if fans do this and post our stories in other interest forums. But it wouldn't hurt them to acknowledge the writer. They've already copied everything, couldn't they copy the NAME OF THE AUTHOR too?

But the sad thing is that the things that are popping up are the e-books that I've worked hard on. Sure he used the name of the person who wrote it, adding legitimacy to his supposed posting. But that thing was supposed to be EARNED by members and loyal readers. It was in loving memory of a dearly departed and awesome writer. It was our tribute to her talent. And that blogger/s shit all over it by posting her e-book on their page.

It is obvious that the page is profiting from the traffic that goes there. There are ads all over the place.

Please don't tell me that this is the internet and that everything is everyone else's. There is such a thing as intellectual property. There is such a thing as decency.

I believe that the tree that has the most fruits get stoned more often. But this is just a too much.

I don't care if people don't care that the writers did their best to write those novels. I don't care if my brain bleed trying to edit their grammar and their punctuations. (ubong tunong my writers need to work on these) We are trying to improve our work. We are not taking anything from you. At least not that I know of. And if we are then tell us and we would take it our and would apologize to you.

But you. There should be a circle of hell for people like you. At least thieves have the audacity to get caught and to pay the price for their transgressions.

You can troll us and we will block you. You can stalk us and we would pepper spray your mouths. But take our work and the effort that we put in them, you will have to answer to God...or my spells.

You have to remember, the original collaborator and idea man was Yahweh. How do you think those writers got those words together and put the bible together, magic? Pure human inspiration?

If anyone knows intellectual property and common courtesy policies it's HIM. So someone up there would have our backs if we just continue working diligently on our own work.

I am the EIC now. If I can't get you to understand reason, then I would like a candle at my altar for you. And believe me, you would not like the results.

So, YOU, yes you. Pull out our stories or I will never forgive you. Have some pride if not a conscience.

And to Blogspot. Police content. It's too bad that you don't because so many of your bloggers just want to raise their hands and choke unoriginal fucks like these. http://onlinepocketbook.blogspot.com/

All I need by Erin = e-book na kakarelease pa lang
I meant it when I said I do by C.Lily = another e-book

This is just the first. If I ever encounter this shit again. God help you because I won't.  If a TOPpers did this, not even the gods can aid you against my unbearable wrath. Hell hath no fury than the EIC scorned. 

Itaga mo yan sa bato.  

Monday, November 22, 2010

P.I.N.A.Y. ako, ikaw PINAY KA BA?

I am a  PINAY.

Naughty (or Nice)
Awesome and

So, ikaw? PINAY KA BA?

if you are? Plurk it, Tweet it, Share it to your friends!

Leave your comment here too.

GO PINAYS, redefine yourselves! Eliminate prejudices! Turn haters to lovers and spread your PINAY-ness to the universe!



I read it. It didn't look any different from the other contracts that I had signed before. Call center contracts were even more elaborate than it was and I understood them so this was a no-brainer. The funny thing was that I didn't remember that the pay the I put on my contract was just for one cut off. Dumbass. So the president teased me and said that she was grateful and that she would pay me that much from now one. She's nice and kinda reminded me of Miss Tasha from E-lamp. She seemed strict but she explained things the best way she could. She was always very strict about rules (my new lady boss) but was reassuring with her prompt compliments. I countersigned my boo-boo and decided that it was time to go home. I didn't actually want to sign anything until I read something and until I finished all of my classes. I didn't want to drag my students into the situation in case there was something that I didn't approve of that was in the contract.

Fortunately, there wasn't anything that irked me so I signed it.

If the relentless rain is a sign of blessings, then I welcome that I was soaked to my panties today.

Sadly, it seems my crush has found a "you and me against all odds" person now. So the spot for my eternal Ne Sarang is still open.

I got propositioned by another married man again. I guess it's just my luck. He asked me to go out when he comes home to Pinas. Sorry I have retired from that kind of life. I am a good girl now. I proposed that I would hang out in a well-lit place with our common gay friend and my ex if need be. But not alone, never in secret and not in the dark.

I have other plans with my life. I've experimented enough and learned all possible lessons to learn about love, morality and common sense. So fool me once, your fault. Fool me twice, it's my own idiocy that couldn't possible be forgiven.

If I have to pick between getting soaked in the rain that is loneliness and burning in hell, I'd drown, thank you very much. Mermaid naman ako e.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Scene from my MANRAE story - T.O.P.

Disclaimer: This story and this excerpt is mine. If you use it or take it, the muses of the old religion would make your life a living hell. If you are indeed a writer, come up with your own shit. 

Have to write it here.

A scene that popped in my head for the MANRAE love team.

A boy with a backpack, a laptop and a trolly on his first day in the big city gets off a Victory bus. He was on his way to the TOPshelf office to be the in-house IT guy. He needed to be there before 2pm.
He needs to ride an MRT for the first time and he can't quite figure out how to use the ticket. He hears someone tapping their foot in irritation.

She was late for her appointment in TOPshelf. Her evil EIC was threatening to ban her story from the site if she doesn't pass the revisions for her story today before 2pm. She lost her internet connection and she didn't have money to use the internet shop. She was on her last 20 pesos and she needed the check for her story.

The only thing that was going to ruin her meal ticket was the provincial guy who couldn't figure out how to use an MRT ticket.

She asks irritably, "Do you need help with that?"

He turns around and was about to spew cusses in seven languages when he saw the face of someone he's only ever seen in Facebook.


"Janrae?" she recovered from her shock and took the ticket,shoved it in correctly then pushed him. She put in hers and grabbed his trolley. "Come on!"

He ran after her and they both laughingly sat on the empty last cabin.

"Where are you going?" he had to ask.
"Where are you going?" she couldn't resist asking.

"TOPshelf." They both said, paused then laughed.

"I'm the new IT guy." he said.
"I have to submit my work or Ate Pinay wouldn't pay me. At the very least that would be slow death due to hunger. I am literally on my last six pesos."

"I can feed you." he teased, just like he did before over the internet. But for the life of him it seems a bit too gross to say it like this.

"Ows, para ka ngang naglayas eh." she smiled at him, and he knew his first ever MRT ride would always be the best first in his new life in the big city.


Two promdis in the big city, both working for TOPshelf, an online publishing company owned by pioneers of an online romance novel site. Janrae and Marysol meet again after years of being causal forum friends on T.O.P. He wasn't as geeky as she thought he would be. And he was not the young girl who dumped him online. What happens when she falls in love with him now that he is afraid to love her?

GirlsOnT.O.P. book 1 : MANRAE

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Fan girl 3.0 : Mig Ayesa signs postcard

Remember the time when I got this awesome shirt with cds from his royal awesomeness Mig Ayesa and the equally awesome Miss Lily? Well now I am waiting for postcards that Mig signed. Toni, a friend I made via FB and Mig-love blogging had promised me this a while back. Like the time I read the message from Lily that they would be send me stuff I didn't think it was for real. But I guess loving Mig Ayesa has it's miraculous perks. ^_^ I read Toni's message on FB the day I ran out of clean shirts and had to wear my Mig shirt. (I don't wanna wear it too often the signature might fade. *giggles*) Coincidence? Migracle is more like it.

So now, although my friend Reina won't be making it to her homecoming this year, I would have the pleasure to send her a Migawesome christmas package. Or maybe I should wait for her to come home? What do you think? But hey, if I can find a service that would send all these things without worrying about them being lost in transit, then I would definitely make her year...

Oh and one of my officemates recognized my shirt. She said "Is that Mig Ayesa? Si Mig Ayesa ba un?" and I said, "Yes, si Mig Ayesa nga. I got it from Lily and he signed my name on it." My nickname there was Simone so she thought it was Simone (Mig's wife) that it was referring to. I said, "It's my surname plus an e." We proceeded to talking about our Mig moments. (There aren't that many so please come to the Philippines soon and give us some!~)

One thing that is awesome in my new workplace, people have taste in music. I found a Miglover too, didn't I?

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


These are the titles that have been sent to me. I think I am missing others. If your novel was already sent to my email pinaywritertop@gmail.com and you can't see it here, please feel free to e-mail them again.

Because it's possible that this happened:

1. A mail error message in your email saying you did not send it successfully.
2. A tsunami hit the offshore server that saves the data of your email provider.
3. Your internet connection was intermittent when you sent the email so I never got it.
4. You mailed it to a different pinaywriter e-mail.
5. You lied to me about when you were going to send the e-mail containing the story that you told me would be sent to me on a specific day thinking that I moved the deadline for ALL the novel when in fact it's only for a particular series and not all the stories you were supposed to send to me.
6. You think I am a nice person who has no care or understanding of the word DEADLINE.
7. You are ningas kugon who only knows how to start things but not finish them.
8. You are super busy with life changing things. (this I would allow) And you forgot to make time for hobbies like writing novels and reading them.
9. You were bluffing when you send you would send me your work and it turns out that you didn't really get anything done and want to ask for more time.
10. You are even lazier than I am.



The Foxy Bombshell by LAINe
Necessito Un Hombre

Finished Romance novels:

Behind His Hazel Eyes 1 (page 9 na ako dito)
Baby & Love
My Pretty Boy
My Beautiful Boyfriend (Diosza)
Defying Destiny (annajanelee)
You are my Sky, France (sweetlemon)
Kapag Tumibok ang Puso (shon)
KINSA (empsz)
my sweet stranger (marichu)

Family Ties (rosalyn)
Hanggang Kailan (honnie)

Finished Editing

All I NEED 1 (erin)

To all Romance novelists of the T.O.P. persuasion, please compile your links, send a message to empresz that you are done. Send me your CV and your finished work (in a document file - make sure that you have proofread your work na or else I would be returning a bloody red pdf file version of your work).

Please don't be lazy. We want to continue to make excellent ORIGINAL stories so please do your part. ^_^ If you need advice I am online daily from 5am to 2pm on my gmail. If you have a gmail account you can even chat with moi (if breaktime ko). I also linked my fb to my gmail so I can check the messages I get there. So there is not way for you not to get my help or any editors help. You just have to ask for it.

Thanks for your hard work.
Keep writing!~


*p.s. I will be using my break time at work to work on a different romance novel than the one that I am correcting at home. This way, I can make better time in editing. Then I can start with the ones that are on the site.  

Monday, November 15, 2010

KOMIKON 2010 : Popping Pinaywriter's Cherry

More pictures and anecdotes later. ^_^



Last Saturday I went home exhausted from selling GUTOM and YO,BO! KOMIKS at the KOMIKON 2010 in Starmall.

Last Sunday, Manny won his eight world title.

Doesn't Filipino talent just not make your heart swell?

There was a comic book about Manny at the Komikon. And as much as I consider him a great boxer, selling a comic book about him for almost 500 pesos is just overkill. But hey, if it sells then why the hell not, right?

Friday, November 12, 2010

Bitter Pill : Contraception and Cancer

I was walking (as per usual) near the entrance of SM Megamall and I saw a new booth. It was one that was for a campaign (or ad) about awareness of which contraceptive type matches a specific Filipina's lifestyle. I was curious about a lot of things and deathly afraid of going to an OBGYNE who knows my mother (I don't like doctors so I am sure that I would ask my mom for help about this eventually.) Also I want to have her OB since that person led my mom to 4 successful normal births and complications regarding her breast cancer. So you see my dilemma and I will type it right here. *whispers my secret*

So I told the doctor (female, as it makes women more comfy - campaign managers, two thumbs up for that!) that I used to be fairly irregular like having it twice a month, then after taking pills I got fatter. I mentioned that after I stopped the real problem arose. I didn't get my period at all until it settled to 2x a year. Endometrial cancer was mentioned. And an awful truth that I didn't get from all my reading and simple Q and A research didn't reveal. I hit a risk button on the breast cancer panel! There is a kind of estrogen depended breast cancer! I could've found out about it had I been brave enough to go to a doctor before I tried the cheap trust pills. This, if it ever becomes a cause, might be my only regret in my entire college life. It would not be the love or the lifestyle but it would be this. Still, I didn't get pregnant which was the plan. But now that I know I can't take any estrogen related pills or contraception, I feel slightly doomed.
It was a good thing that I mentioned that. It opened my mind to a lot of things. And the consultation was for free! I got a prescription for something that would force me to get a period. I was also told that if push comes to shove I can take pills to balance my hormones. BUT I was told to get an ultra-sound first before I do that. I will try those pills first and check if things normalize from there. I usually have my period during June and December so I might get some positive results (not the bad positive kind).

Now I know that I shouldn't take anything that might increase the risks of me getting cancer. And someday I want to have a kid or kids. So I need to check things out better. I can take a mamo when I am 35 but from now until then, I need to make some serious changes in my lifestyle. She said that I need to loose weight. (Apparently we store estrogen in our fatty fat cells. MOTIVATION TO LOOSE WEIGHT! Yey!)

To my friends who are taking Medicine, please could somebody PLEASE specialize in Gynecology. Be an angel. I need one who can be mum and not tell my mom.



T_T For someone who has internet access and is a bit of a hypochondriac, I really oughta not hear stuff from a doctor that I can Google.

Some of the risk factors do have a hereditary aspect to them. Beginning menstruation at an early age or starting menopause later in life are risk factors for endometrial cancer (more menstrual cycles). A woman's menstrual history can follow her mother's and thus she will inherit similar risks. Also, having a family history of breast, colon, or ovarian cancer is associated with endometrial cancer. All those cancers have a hereditary component.

Women who are overweight (they store estrogens in their fat), never had children or had them later in life (they have more menstrual cycles) have diabetes or high blood pressure (this may be associated with obesity), take estrogens without progestins, or take the drug tamoxifen have higher rates of endometrial cancer.

On the bright side, taking birth control pills (pills set estrogen lower than natural), exercising regularly (stretches time between cycles), and eating a high soy diet is correlated with a lower risk of this cancer. Smokers also have a lower risk (smoking decreases estrogens), but this is hardly a reason to take up smoking.



I don't have any of the symptoms. But according to what I read it is asymptomatic if it's early since you have to be a little older than I am to have it. T_T

But an ounce of prevention is worth of cure.


Dysfunctional uterine bleeding (DUB) is heavy or irregular menstrual bleeding that is not caused by an underlying anatomical abnormality, such as a fibroid, lesion, or tumor. DUB is the most common type of abnormal uterine bleeding.


The treatments are making me feel sick.

What is polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS)?

Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), also known by the name Stein-Leventhal syndrome, is a hormonal problem that causes women to have a variety of symptoms. It should be noted that most women with the condition have a number of small cysts in the ovaries. However, women may have cysts in the ovaries for a number of reasons, and it is the characteristic constellation of symptoms, rather than the presence of the cysts themselves, that is important in establishing the diagnosis of PCOS.
PCOS occurs in 5% to 10% of women and is the most common cause of infertility in women. The symptoms of PCOS may begin in adolescence with menstrual irregularities, or a woman may not know she has PCOS until later in life when symptoms and/or infertility occur. Women of all ethnicities may be affected.


Future Ne Sarang, can't we just adopt instead?
*Need to start saving for future medical bills*

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Trolls + Sticky Caps = Writer's Hell - T.O.P.

Was so pissed off that here became her. Soforgivemeforthat.

Third times the charm - Yo,Bo!

Please check out the latest issue of Yo,Bo! Komiks Issue #3 Frienemies.

I went through all sorts of emotions making this one. Laziness, panic, sleepiness, anguish, frustration, murderous, pissed and eventually relieved.

Still. I believe that I should finish what I started and that N needs to learn photoshop.

I compromised that I would do the lay-outing but I am no longer going to do that balloons (we did something new on this issue so we definitely need your feedback so leave a message on the link for issue #3) and he mentioned asking for help from a really awesome kapwa komikero Omeng regarding the lettering.

I think Omeng was the one who did Gutom for Ela and it turned even better than the latter expected.

Still I believe that if Ela learned photoshop thoroughly, like in a class or in an actual course, he would blow our minds. I just can't keep up with what he has in his head. I am a comics newb. ^_^ I've read mangas and comics for research but sometimes it's not enough if you don't have the drawings in your head. And he does. He knows what he wants. I am way to lazy to realize it. We are missing our fire starter but that is not really the case.

It's just because I don't play well with others (I always lead groups or let another person whom I respect lead group projects simply because I prefer to get my way all the time.) See how that is not a good thing in a collaboration.

It requires patience from both sides. I don't have any. I am a firecracker. Good thing I absolutely love his girlfriend. Mirna is an angel. If she can support him in a lot of things, I can do this much, right?

See you at the KOMIKON 2010!~

Happy Pepero Day!~

Aren't they just so BIG and oh so Sweet? I want one too, Rain Oppa!

Happy Pepero Day, teachers and students!
Don't forget to give your honeys or kiddies pepero today! 
Sweets for my sweet day!

I would love to eat pepero with Oppa this way. Gyah!~

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Whether you LIKE ME or not

I think we "like" way too many things. But it wouldn't hurt if you liked just one more thing.

I don't care anymore if I get the most likes. I would just be happy with whatever God provides. ^_^ I like me and some times, that should be enough. It'll be nice if I could love someone new though. *giggles*

All Speak and no play

I am still reeling from this whole xubuntu transfer even though it's been more than a month. I hate my keyboard because it's not ergonomic. (Hello, carpal tunnel, is that you?) The darn shift, enter and backspace sticks. The keys feel like I have to use brute force so that they would type fast enough to follow the seemingly transcriptive job that I have to deal with now. I can't use canned reports anymore since the QA is stricter in this company. But I am glad that I don't have any skitzo students or crazy brats to deal with.

There is even a gap to use social networks but it's during the busiest time of my day so it seems unfair.

I have full sked of 23 students with a few 20 minute classes and my throat hurts. I think it's from the weather. People are coming down with colds and sore throats. I hope they don't infect me again.

There was a station reshuffle and re-grouping. I moved to this abysmal station with the overly bright and oddly long LG screen, DOTA keyboard and in the wrong side telephone.

Silver lining: This station has open office. So for the T.O.P. writers, that is a not so silver lining. ^_^

My rommie doesn't have her own bed yet so I need to pay full this November. I had to redo the issue 3 lay-out yesterday and I almost killed the artist for our comics. But I moved past all of those "Taribis Tuesday" crap sans only two hours of sleep before I had to go to work. T_T

I suddenly think, if I am this busy, how can I have a boyfriend? I am the kind of person who can't do anything when I have one. Because I like to devote my time to that person. I haven't even figured out why my friend was asking me where I was. I am somewhat feeling guilty about that.

I have at least 20 novels to edit. And numerous ones I want to write. Our artist wants to start the story for issue 4 as soon as possible. I asked if it was okay to wait till the end of December.

I am feeling a little down because I don't know how my crush (the feeling not the person since he is clueless) can survive this kind of situation. But then again, this comes with age I guess. Crushes are fleeting. Deciding whether or not we really like them is a little more on the practical side.

And I was hoping to ask him to watch Harry Potter together. Tsk. Oh well.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Talking to the Boss

I "chatted" with the Head huncho of my new company. It was a"getting to know" kinda of thing. I had one with MissJ already. I am not used to it so I was a little nervous but thanks to my Speech Comm teachers and my years as a member of the Icebag family, I could smile and talk calmly while screaming something else in my head like " BY THE WAY THIS IS AWKWARD, NOH?"

I had a "meeting" with Miss K as well. I got some feedback on what I should improve on. It actually helped me a lot. I am still trying to do what she told me to do all the time. Keep it friendly but professional. Like I should ask Why? or talk about my life. So the motto is, MAKE YOUR STUDENT TALK.

With Madam Head Huncho I was a little worried coz I thought they were going to tell me whether I was going to stay here or not. But it turns out the evaluation would be around November 22. So I might still get my pay if they decide to kick me out. I haven't been that confident of my attendance performance and  I did miss a couple of classes.  I used what I learned in Speech Comm and reversed my negative traits into seemingly positive ones. It is true that I would not be absent UNLESS it was a matter of me not being able to move anymore and that I hate being late because I follow a routine. So it wasn't lying, I was merely emphasizing the truth.

I hope things work out since I am not the kind of person who likes change. Things are starting to look up. I just need to clean my/our room and I would have a roommate soon. IT would be AWESOME to sign a regularization contract, No mu kamsamnida! (very much thank you)

Old NaNoWriMo effort : Elbi Nights

This story actually gave birth to the Elbi Life seiries that I am writing in T.O.P. I finished the first one Natasha But I still need to fix it's P.O.V. Still in the spirit of NaNoWriMo, I give you my unfinished first effort. ^_^ I will try to finish this SOMEDAY. But, I don't want to right now. ^_^ Maybe when I have a new Ne Sarang I will. Because by then, the story plot would have reached a real ending.Don't mind the typos and bad grammar. The rule was to not edit it but just keep typing 50,000 words to make a novel.
Elbi Nights - an unfinished novel by NRSimon
October 29th, 2009
Use diff p.o.v. of several females.

nanowrimo website

See screenshots of word count here

Disclaimer: This used to be a nanorwimo entry but now I have decided to just finish it as it is. I want to write about what we did in college in a looser way. Oh well. Ain't never getting published but I want to finish it. ^^


I think I should've just become a loner. Having friends just makes my life more complicated. I have seen this coffee shop situation before. But it included more people. And my friends were not ranting about their love lives. They were making me sick with all the hand-holding and their latest trip together in some romantic get-away.  It was a dream, but it looked so real that I hoped that it was possible for that to happen. A year ago, we were not grieving our beloveds, we were not alone, and we traveled in pairs even. As I sip my Cafe Americano, I wonder. When did the end start?

My heart break started years ago when I decided that being celibate was the best way to be free of the restrictions that sex brought me. Sex had been the upper that I had used to get over being dumped by a man for a man. I had drank, danced and fucked my way back to trying to feel more beautiful and loved but all that it boiled down to was that I was replaced with a penis. So I decided to stay as far away from one as much as it was possible. I was doing so great. Until that night.

I was dancing up against a friend who was never going to be someone I would be sexually attracted to. I felt safe to dance with abandon with him around. I was pretty sure people around us were confused as to why I was dancing with him. But I didn't care. I looked at the handsome guys who shot a look of wonder and even disgust. I danced some more when they looked as if they thought that the guy I was dancing to seem too lucky to be dancing with me. I was flirting with my eyes with another guy when someone caught my attention. He was looking at me while in mid-sip. He was holding his beer near his mouth as if he was about to take a swag but he wasn't. The beer was a cover. He was staring at me, at us, as if he was reprimanding me for dancing the way that I was. I felt an unfamiliar chill down my spine then a flush of heat on my face. I hadn't blushed in years! I don't even remember the last time I was embarrassed in front of anyone. I have been partying with no restrictions since I became a sophomore. And here was this stranger judging me while he was enjoying the show! I tried to look away and keep on dancing. But I found out that it was harder to do so with someone boring a hole at your back.
I had forgotten that he was looking when my friend Hellene tapped me on the shoulder. Her boy toy Art was standing beside her with his usually naughty grin. I knew that something was up. He was looking at someone behind me so I turned around. There was no one there. When I faced them again, the Beer guy had his face inches away from mine as if he was sniffing me. I took a step back but didn’t stop dancing. I had my guard up but that didn’t mean that I had to stop having fun in the process.
“This is Art’s fraternity brother, Eros.” was Hellene’s simple introduction. I smirked a bit, nodded then waved. He motioned to shake my hand but I kept waving. Then I went back to dancing. I knew what was happening. My friends have been on my case about getting a new boyfriend since they all got coupled up. Hellene was with Art, Queenie with Max, Valene with Jester, Cy with James, and Ara with Frank. Well, she was with Frank until two nights ago. They broke up over something that I am sure women would agree is a deal breaker. Frank had a cigarette dick but had cockiness that befits a hung black man. They wanted me to be as happy as they are, well most of them at the very least. I have always thought that women who needed to be with men or have significant other were just too afraid to roll on their own. I have always loved my independence. My only official boyfriend was a gay guy. We dated for a year and a few days. I was always very clear with him that if he ever fell in love with someone then all he had to do was tell me about it. And by someone I meant a guy. Still it took a lot out of me when it finally happened. He cheated on me before he told me. It was even the other guy who called me to tell me to not insist on trying to get back together with Luis. But the funny thing was that Darren and I ended up being friends. Luis was not really the hitching into a relationship type. And Darren even had to hire someone to follow Luis around. I was just more than happy to be Darren’s confidant. He did after all save me from being the one to have to take that kind of shit.
I haven’t been a saint since that break-up. I counted men as much as any playboy counted women, like notched on my bedpost. But it felt like I was just wasting my time so I just danced, made out then kicked men out of my path when it was time to go home from partying all night. I became the classic tease. I had enough of a reputation as a woman who puts out and brings home to our apartment we candidly called the Love shack that men thought that buying us a couple of drinks could get them laid. They were oh so wrong.
Eros sat and watched me like I was putting up a show just for him. I heard Hellene grill him like he was auditioning for a bit as my boyfriend. I had settled next to him because Art maneuvered it that way. Eros had not talked the whole time he was sitting down. He smiled, smoked, drank then stared some more. I decided that it would be fun to get this one to talk so I abandoned my dance partners and I focused on him. He didn’t want to stand up to dance. He held on his beer bottle and cigarette as if they were his shield and sword. I put out the cigarette and took the bottle from his hand. I turned my back on him and did the one thing that men have no power against.
I gave him a lap dance.


I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t see where I was walking. I felt so intoxicated that I had to stare at a pipe on the road and wonder whether I would be able to cross it or not. Art kept asking me what happened last night. He had to carry Hellene to the bathroom. I was left in the living room with Samantha. I was waiting to be excused. I was waiting for Art to come down so I can say goodbye. But the douche fell asleep. He had to stay with Hellene because she had to throw up every five minutes. I blame women who try to tell a bartender they won’t pass out after ten full glasses of cocktails. She vomited on the floor of the bar, on the grassy area outside the bar area, out the window when we were in the car, and in the bathroom when we all got to their apartment, Sam and Queenie’s apartment to be more exact.
They had set up all the futons in the living rooms. Three futons. Queenie slept in the middle, Hellene’s would sleep in the one near the door while Sam was already in her futon.
She was not as odd as I thought. She was odder. She was not intoxicated. I know that, at least not by alcohol. I didn’t see anyone of them take anything aside from cigarettes. I sighed because I didn’t want to be with female junkies. I wanted to hit Art on the back of his head. If he didn’t ask me to stay I wouldn’t be sitting across Samantha, who has changed into short shorts and a tank top. I tried not to talk to her but she was being a gracious host.
Then she said something that I couldn’t possibly let slide.
“You’re gay, aren’t you?”
I would later find out that if I was, I wasn’t really safe either.
Like I said, this girl was odd.
And I am in love with her.


I am a romantic. I have always known that I want to have a family when I am settled in my own skin. I had grown up in a broken one you see, so I had always dreamt of having a husband by my side while raising my children. I have always thought that if I meet him I would not let him go. Max was this guy for me. He was the one.
Having a perfect relationship isn’t something that I had hoped to have. But I had work very hard to be the kind of girlfriend that my significant other could not do without. I have always been supportive, loving and often too involved in their lives that I find myself compromising way too often. My friends sometimes think that I am a martyr. But I do them for very simple and selfish reasons. If the person I am with is going places, I don’t have to give up on my ambitions either.
I blame Cy for getting me in this situation. She introduced me to Hellene. Samantha and I had been roommates with Valene for the longest time when we met her. The parties that we had in our apartment, the long parade of men that came and went to party with us led me to Max.
I knew that I liked him before he liked me. There were so many obstacles that littered the path to our so called union. I blame Samantha and her condom gift. It led to the best and worst night of my life. I had finally found the guy that I want to spend the rest of my life with. But he was not as perfect or princely as I had hoped he would be. I realized in the time that I had been with him that princes are trained not born.
I haven’t told my friends that he had proposed. I am thinking that I need to graduate before he gives me a ring. It’s not like there is a ring to give just yet. He is still starting out in his new job. That did not stop us from planning for our future though. I had been playing with baby names while he planned how to put his life together from bum to responsible son. And I love him more and more for it. In my opinion, he is not the same man that I had fallen in love with, he’s better.
I can see us living in the Philippines together or maybe working in Saudi with my mom and my brother. It would be harder for him to adjust to another country but it would be easier for me to be a good daughter if I am there. And he understands that now. Because he can feel the amazing feeling of being able to be someone his mother can depend on. I can honestly say that I am in cloud nine. Things couldn’t get any better than being engaged to a man who I know is true to me.
I had been worried about Samantha for a while. She went into a downward spiral while I was in my honeymoon period. Then when my relationship with Max became more settled and almost too co-dependent, she had started her celibacy year. I am glad that she hooked up with Eros. He seemed exactly her type, the rugged macho with a soft spot for her.
The only thing that was out of whack was that they didn’t seem to realize that I was not really asleep when they first hooked up…and the four ones after that first one.
I was more than glad to move when they stopped. My limbs were tensed to their limit trying not to move. I know Samantha to dislike good-looking men. It is connected to her past insecurity complex. She doesn’t understand that women have different kinds of beauty. I knew that if I didn’t step in, Eros would be history in less than twenty-four hours.
I typed something on my mobile phone and made her read it, “He’s gorgeous. I noticed just now.” Samantha read and it and rolled her eyes. Eros was looking over her shoulder when she read it.
There was something that he said that took me by surprise; something I know Samantha would have dropped kicked just any guy if they called her that. He called her “Love.”
I knew at that moment that her romantic hiatus was over. Eros would make sure of that. At last, the cynic has met her match.


I don’t have a boyfriend. My friends keep insisting that Art is my boyfriend. I can’t call him that because to call him that would mean that I am letting him into some specific group of rights that are reserved to my boyfriend. And he hasn’t qualified for that yet. I have been dating ever since I had been in college. I know for a fact when a guy is worth my time.
Let’s just say that I love Art. But not enough to let him significantly connect my lifeline to. He is still waiting for things to happen in his life. And I want to be with someone who can take care of me and not the other way around.
I am always taking care of other people. Often it is so much that I sacrifice my own needs. And I always come out of it too stressed out that I am drained of my chance to be happy. They seem to take a part of me every time they are done asking me to love them. And that needs to stop. Those guys had wanted to be my boyfriend and acted as if I was someone who would always be there for their convenience. It had to stop. I had promised myself that this time around, the guy I would call my boyfriend would take care of me and not me him.
I do love taking care of the people that I love. I sometimes think that it’s my fault that they end up abusing my kindness. But loving and giving to someone who is dear to me comes naturally to me. I am not perfect, I know for a fact that I am a brat. People overlook that brats can be very caring too. I, for one, am a very lovable brat. I know my place when it comes to a relationship. The only problem is that sometimes the guy that I am with thinks that I am too independent for them. They either leave me because they can’t handle it or because they want to give skirt chasing another try.
I admit that my situation sounds a bit cliché. I am an independent woman who wants to be in love with a real man. Is that so impossible? I don’t think so.
I am not going to make Art my official boyfriend unless he steps up to the plate and hits a homerun. I know he has the potential otherwise I would not be wasting my time travelling back and forth from the city to my old alma mater’s province. The four hours that it takes for me to get there is a sacrifice I am willing to make to have him in my arms. I know he recognizes that I need a guy with a plan, a definite plan with his life. I won’t feed the man I would have with me for the rest of my life. I won’t put up with that. I hope he stops waiting for things to happen and actually does something about it.
Until then, I don’t have a boyfriend.


Jester is my friend. He is a guy but that doesn’t make him my boyfriend. Not that I am saying that I don’t want him to be my boyfriend. It’s just that he isn’t, so there. Now you know. Samantha keeps insisting that we are a couple just because I might have a huge fan girl love for him and he well, he hangs around me a lot because we move in the same circles. We are in the same organization, we are in the same classes and we have common friends. I can’t blame him for loving…my conversation skills.
I just wish he would look at me in a different light. You know, that kind of light, or lack of light if you know what I mean.
But then there’s Nick. I like his cerebral sexiness. What I do with them would spell out the rest of my love life. But sometimes I think that I need to choose which one to have a crush on but end up more confused. Sure they both spend time with me but am I sure that by the end of the day, just before they go to sleep at least one of them thinks of me?

There is no hope for me I know. But I still lay awake thinking, which one I should choose, in case both of them come knocking on my virginal door. Yes, door is a euphemism.


I don’t want to go back to the Ysack that was in Elbi that time. I couldn’t imagine that I had to burn so much of my old self to find a new me that turned out to be just a glossier, older and more cowardly version of the old me.
I had escaped the straightjacket. I am not about to hit my head on the walls anytime soon.
But sometimes reality makes it difficult to stay true to yourself.
I miss Lights of Havana [1]just as much as Samantha misses Adios[2].


I left my heart there. I am not willing to get it back. Not if I have to face all the ghosts that I littered my days there. I have lost the old me, the one who smiled openly, who flirted often and wrapped men around my fingertips.
I don’t know. I don’t know if I can walk down Grove and not see the old Elbi, the old me, the happy Cath. I knew what I wanted, who I wanted to be with, and where we were headed.
But now I don’t.

[1] Lights of Havana is a drink from Jungle Java, a bar in LB Square, the local watering hole of UPLB students.
[2] Adios Motherfucker or Adios is a cocktail served in Loata Loka, a bar in LB Square

Monday, November 8, 2010

Smiling eyes and LOLs

I looked at the mirror and realized that my hair has grown a bit longer. I smiled and realized that my eyes were smiling too. Isn't that just nice?

Arigato, Ne Sarang.

I realized that I haven't laughed out loud until last Saturday when some friends from T.O.P. started the whole ManRae Loveteam over an I Dare You thing. Rae-kun was putting some really sweet (uber actually) on the FB chatroom and I was bursting in giggles and loud uncontrollable laughter. I must admit it's been a while. Seriously. I don't remember having no control over my laughter. In fact, I had to smile and laugh forcefully for the past few months, even years.

I didn't realize until today that I haven't smiled in the mirror genuinely until this morning in the office loo.

And it's not just because I am over someone or that I am beginning to like someone new, but it's because today the me that I had in my head matched the person that I saw in the mirror.

Sure, she was fatter and had more pimple marks than the old me, but the Spunky that I believe myself to be is slowly resurfacing.

And with it, a possibility for a new and hopefully, final great love. ^_^