Monday, January 31, 2011

13 going 30

By 30, you should have:

  1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come. (check and check)
  2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family. (I rent a tiny ass place so no to this)
  3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour. (I have a total of six dresses. White, 2 black, 1 red and white, 1 green, and 1 blue and white. None of which are perfect for this situation)
  4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying. (hate purses but I have a handbag - big deal since I am a backpack person/need to buy that suitcase and that umbrella)
  5. A youth you’re content to move beyond. Check!
  6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age. (Check! I might need to leave some parts out for proprieties sake)
  7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it. (I need to pay off my debts and then save)
  8. An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you. (I need to work on the last two)
  9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded. (check!)
  10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry. (Check!)
  11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.
  12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it. (Check! Laptop.)
  13. The belief that you deserve it.
  14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30. (uhm, okay. I will work on this)
  15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better. (nope.nope.Does friendships and family count? Yes, I know. I will work on me first then on these, okay?)

By 30, you should know:

  1. How to fall in love without losing yourself. (Okay, this is hard so I will work on it.)
  2. How you feel about having kids. (If I can have some, I will. If I can't, I am good with it.)
  3. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship. (check, check and check!)
  4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
  5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
  6. The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.
  7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
  8. How to take control of your own birthday. (this will never happen. My birthday is the day before the festival in my hometown. I can never control this.)
  9. That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.
  10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
  11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
  12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.
  13. Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
  14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
  15. Why they say life begins at 30. (I wouldn't know till then, wouldn't I?)

Come to think of it, I did quite good. Half is better than a quarter. And the fun thing is that I learned most of the stuff just last year. Who said 25 is a quarter crisis? Once you get past it, it's actually a very rewarding time in one's life. Well, I  won't be 26 until this May, so I will work on greening all the other stuff on this list. ^^ Though #15 should have is harder than the rest. T_T, I hope I can get that crossed out before the deadline. ^^ Aja, fighting!~

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Writing complete - BBBS T.O.P.

Although I am still waiting for Laine's revised work (apparently she added some stuff to her old work) technically BBBS is complete, or so they tell me it is. I have yet to put them all in one folder and read all of them one after the other. But I will do that starting the afternoon of February 1 and will be doing so until February five in the morning. I am not sure what is going to happen but I am not going to let anything get in the way of me finishing every thing.

BBBS has become a lesson to so many of the writers in the group, old and new. It was a wake-up call for a call to arms. It will now remain as a constant reminder that sometimes the best intentions are not able to meet the expectations of so many others.

But it wasn't because of personal problems, which were forgivable, that the BBBS is going to keep a stigma. It was because of the lies and deceit that came with the process of making it. Things like this sometimes jump out of the pages of what we write and becomes a part of our daily lives. Sometimes it's a character we believed to be real but is actually a pigment of someone's bizarre imagination. All writers imagine a different version of themselves. Sometimes it's necessary to walk in their shoes. But it is never alright to make this character disrupt the lives of others. In a novel that character is punished by fate or is discarded in the end. Real life is a lot more cruel than that. Real life has consequences and it has a very good memory. It can remember those who are false and rude as well as deceptive. Those people who live their lives in the here and now can make your life miserable if you are that kind of person.

Making lovable bitches is never easy. Editing their stories would be hell for me. But I don't care. I appreciate and commend all the writers and the people who started these stories. Because without them, there wouldn't be any lessons learned, there wouldn't be any justification to the stricter rules and once again we would be lax against those who abandon us in the middle of the fight.

We hope that you would like BBBS once it's out. I think I might not go home during the weekend for this. But hey, who knows, I might finish it in two days and that would be awesome. But very unlikely. ^^

After this, it's definitely a new year for the makers and writers of BBBS.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Wisdom and Folly of Talking to an Ex

My college bestfriend and roommate warned me against doing it. Another college bestfriend said that it's okay as long as you don't feel giddy. So that settles it. It's not a bad thing to talk to my exes. It does make them uncomfortable sometimes that I seemingly forgot the pain or bitterness that they might have put me through. One of them continues to carry it like shackles. I don't take it personally since he carries a lot of weight around that doesn't have anything to do with little ol' me. So I figured it's just his personality and mine lightly clashing when it comes to the idea of letting go. Because in my case, over the years, I have learned that you can let people go. But you don't necessarily have to strip yourself of the happiness or the happy memories that they brought into your life.
Isn't that were most couples and exes end up ruining everything? They believe or feel that if they still think of the other person fondly, that means they are not over their romantic love for those people. I am believer that love is never gone, it's like an energy that is dispersed and changes form or kind. I learned in SciMath club that energy is like that. So since Love for me is an energy that can do so many good and bad things, it can also be dispersed but never really undone.
I talked to Mark this morning and the day before that. There were things that I asked him that he couldn't answer very well. We are not on the same page after all. Somehow he is still in the last few pages of the chapter that had me and him in it. He keeps it thumbmarked and he goes back there frequently even as the pages of the rest of our lives are being written. In my case, I just try to remember what is in my head. I don't go back to read everything. It's called selective amnesia, I think. ^^ I don't remember the times that I cried or was depressed over everything. I remember the lessons that I learned and that the most important contribution that Mark had in my life is to merge my hopeless romantic self with my rational self. I was a cynic despite being a former hopeless romantic. I thought that if a person chased after the idea or the ideal guy then she is doomed to ignore all other worthy lovers. So I tried to be an altruist. But now, like I told him, I find myself the  right amount of ready and practical. I am ready to love and ready to do what must be done to keep a love strong.
I asked him if I would've made a good wife had his circumstances been different. He said yes. I knew he would say yes. I was afraid of those answers before but I knew he meant it. Of course he said that it was mainly because he would probably gonna do every household chore since I suck at doing them. I literally laughed out loud at that one. It was probably true. I told him that I would have made him a really bad wife since that time I was really immature (still kinda am) and I didn't know how to love people correctly. Yes, I am honestly saying that, even after all I put myself through, I am convinced that although I loved all my exes very much, I didn't really love them the way I wanted to truly love them.
So that is why for my next beloved, I would have to learn how to do household chores well and hopefully cook something that wouldn't poison him and my future spawn. That is if I would be able to reproduce at all.
We talked about how I should follow what my mom said and my fears that if I work in Batangas, inevitably, I would see a parade of men who my relatives think is good enough for me to marry. I told him about it and his old self kind of came up. He still feels a bit defensive when I talk about the future that I would have with someone else. I don't assume that he still loves me the way that he did but I think that he clings to those memories because for him he was really happy during those times. So much so that he basically elevated those memories to something that seemed to have happened inside a dream. I don't really know and I don't want to poke the dragon all that much. I can say as much as me wanting to find a guy just like him minus the drama and he says there is only one like him.
I believe myself to have a type in men. It's just that my type of men almost always turn out to be liars. So I want the guys I met before their good points and some tolerable bad points to merge with honesty and offer me that man as an able-bodied member of society. Cooking and fighting skills sold separately. ^^
I really don't want to be the kind of woman who only talks to my exes when they are already paired up with someone or they are already dying. I want to forgive them way sooner than that. I want to share my life with them without having to explain to anyone why I feel justified to be friends with them. Because these people, regardless of what they did in the end of it, made me feel human love. They were those, who saw me without any mask. Even my friends see me wearing a mask all the time. I was stripped of all that when I was with them. Although I will never trust them with my heart again (yes, I am unforgiving in that sense) I know that I can trust them with secrets and even to tell me when I am making an ass of myself. They knew a different me from who I want to be or who I am now so I know that they can tell the difference. And because they were lovers in the past, then can tell me what I did do right or wrong when I was still loving them. That is something not even my closest friends can come close to being experts on.
I will always love the people that I loved before. But as a student of Love without being with that person, I have graduated from thinking that the impossible can be done through love. Love is an energy and it has many limitations. The vessel from which love comes from or stays is also limited and frail. So I can't play with this energy and my vessel of energy but trying every frequency or wave. I need to open it and wait for the right voltage to hit me once again.
Like Mark said, like all my friends and well-meaning strangers said, "it will happen if it's meant to happen". I am still young. (and even if I wasn't) I should just focus on making a better me then he would come along and figure something that the others didn't. That I am a keeper.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Packed Weekend

I am surprised that my life has taken a bit of nosedive since August. I find that my weekends are either spent trying to avoid errands that have piled up over the week or actually doing them and feeling more exhausted than I am on a daily basis. I took this job so I don't have to do stuff after work. But I find myself needing to do things after work since they pile higher and deeper during the day. It doesn't help that I can't really downgrade myself to a level that is average as compared to the others who are working with me. Surely they are excellent people and I am getting along with them better and better each day. They have their own way of encouraging me to be less passionate about my frustrations about work. But I also find myself being the typical UP BACA that I am. It's just not possible to unlearn all the things that I remember from school. Now I understand that I really got a lot from my education. I love my parents for it and I genuflect to my teachers and mentors because of their talent in molding fleeting and erratic minds like mine. Being a UP graduate made me innately competitive. I realized it just now. Even when we try not to be the best of the best, we still end up pushing ourselves beyond the limits of others.
An online friend who is also a like-minded individual had questioned my goal of staying under the radar. I guess I didn't learn enough from TL H as to how to make people think that you have absolutely nothing to offer than a bit of your wit,. enough to just do your job.
I really can't be any less than what I was trained to be, than what I graduated to be.
I think I would just have to suffer through the numerous classes and the weird distribution process that they have over the work that they want us to do. I just wished that I didn't like teaching English as much as I did. Otherwise, I would have taken my mother's insistent offer to make me work in Batangas.
But for my sanity's sake and for the love that I have for my family and friends in backwater Batangan, I really can't go back there to live the rest of my life being someone's assistant or something like that. Not that there is anything wrong with having a decent job with great benefits. I like this job. I just hoped I had HMO to cover the possible complications of a schedule that left no time to pee and excessive rapid typing that never quite as fast as my mind.
I need to stop whining and just suck it up. I am an adult after all. And this is my job, this is not child's play.
I have a 40,000 debt to clear in my mom bank. I have to save up for my future as a possible spinster. T_T I have to get glasses, an obgyne check-up, visit to my derma and a gym membership. Those things won't pay for themselves. My rent and living expenses also beacon. But as for my social life, I can't risk going on a leave just yet. I am sure my friends would understand that apart from weddings, christenings and funerals, I am a financial hermit.

I need to clean my room, check all the stories that I need to edit, start putting things off my desktop screen. Buy a 320 or 500gb or 1TB HD again to clear everything from my laptop and leave only TOP things.

I want to be able to clean up my life. Like Mark said earlier, I am the only one who can help me.
My Korean managers can't help it if my students keep piling up, but they could at least give me time to breath or pee.
My co-workers can't do my work for me.
My TL can't pacify all my mood swings.
My exes can't love me like I want to be loved.
My parents can't keep giving me money for the rest of my life.

I need to do my job.
Stop complaining.
Do it the best that I can.
Buy a stress ball.
And budget my money better.

1.So tomorrow, clean room.
2.Score January entries. Choose winner. Announce winners.
3.Sunday, clean some more and tell Jac to move to our room.
4.Then Feb1 after work, edit BBBS and other novels. Do not stop for anything and do not get distracted.
5.Must be finished with BBBS by Feb 5. By hook or by crook. Whatever BBBs I have with me should be done.
6.If the other stories are still there, then edit them too. Start with BHHE2.
7. Must be finished with BBBS and BHHE2 by Feb 6.
8. Email said stories to Foo and respective writers once I am done.
9.Then check and compile all TOP concepts. Approve and reply.
10.Then compile all CV.
11.Then update writers directory.
12.Then update Feb contest.
13. Do not forget to eat.
14. Do not forget to sleep.
15. Dream of future boyfriend. ^^

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Worries with Wings

Disclaimer: All men, ignore this post. You have been forewarned.

I was supposed to go to a OBGYNE (if I could find one) during the Lunar New year vacation to get some stuff checked out. But since I got my blue day now, I can't possibly do that. So now I just have to check if this thing is going to regulate itself. It's really unnerving that every time I find the time to get things checked out, something comes up.

The worst thing is that I didn't include this to my already dying budget. So I have to ask my mom if it would be okay to lend me some money again. At this rate, I would never be able to pay her off and I would probably never get to follow the other things that I want to do after I am fully independent.

*Needs to look at the bright side*
It would be easier to count the months that it would lapse since it happened in January. And it's possible that this is a good sign. Who knows, it might be a result of not smoking too often. If so, then I might just give up smoking altogether. (But then again, I smoked a horrible cigar like cigarette a few days ago. Maybe that was trigger. Ew, if it was that. I hope not.)
I am sure my mom would stop worrying (at least for the time being) that I am pregnant. (Seriously mom, me pregnant? I would no sooner become a boy.)
I don't get dysmennorhea. In my entire life as a bloody mary, I have experienced it twice or at least thrice. The last time I remember, Mark was there and he put hot compress over my abdomen. ^^ I never want to have that experience ever again. T_T, I have a low threshold for pain. The least that I experience is a little bit of a pinch and that's it. (wears armor since women are throwing things at her for saying she doesn't get cramps)
And best of all, this means that things are still working down there although it's a bit of a slow schedule. ^^ (thinking that maybe I am like an animal that bleeds only when in heat ROFL)

I am a bit worried about this since there are so many things that could get wrong when the time comes that I meet my honest man. It would be a bitter pill to swallow to have to face the possibility of being bumped for a more fertile member of my species.

But like Rein said, stop looking for it and it would come to you. Look, she was right. ^^ Now, if only it applied to a man and not mens, I would have been happier.
Weird coincidence. Similar cycle with current favorite student. Odd. 

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Reversal of Roles

It's been a while since I've talked to my friends about my life and my past. They remember me as this girl who was a bit of a manhater but could get a man on his knees. *blushing* I was always declaring that I would never get married and all that. I probably still won't but now I am not entirely against the whole idea of getting hitched.

The only thing is that I want to marry an honest man.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the hardest man to find in all of Earthlinglandia. Present a man to me and I am sure that I can make him tell me a lie in no time. People lie constantly. Even the best of men hide the truth in order to spare the feelings of people that they care about. I am a firm believer that the reason why I have become as blunt and socially awkward was a result of my many years as a pathological liar. But I have worked out most of my issues and have become an even worse version of who I was. I became a person who wants to be blatantly honest. I lie to people I don't like or don't care about. But for the most part, for the people I like and care about, I tell them the truth.

I would not recommend bringing me along when you go shopping. You might not like what I would have to say about the outfit that you want to buy. ^^;

I am sad that my friend, who has been hopping to find a real and lasting love, had her heart broken by a man who didn't realize how wonderful she was until it was too late. Or maybe he hasn't realized it and is still thinking that he is better off without her. Who knows how jerks operate?

I might even consider being okay with the wedding movies addict over the new less marriage positive her. But like how I was before, I thought, why would it be a waste of time if one is having so much fun. I admit, I had a lot of fun being in love with all of my exes and playing with the other guys we met in college. But I don't want her to wake up one morning like I did and wishing that she had found herself a better suited person. But I like the one she is with now. I just don't know how well they suit each other.
I want her to be safe and happy. But those two things don't always go together. Adventure, danger is always associated with adrenaline rush and excitement. It seems a lot more fun than just being at home blogging about a life that has nothing in it.

I have always said that Boredom would be the end of me. But somehow, I find that it might not be as bad I supposed it would be. I have every plan to be a good partner for that honest man that I would find, if he can be found. Otherwise, I would not be as lost as I was before. I won't be afraid of love and commitment. Just a little bit, the normal kind, the one that can be overcome easily with the support of another person, that honest man I was talking to you about.

All else that he needs to learn, how to please, pleasure and to enjoy things that I love can be learned but honesty, that in itself, I think one needs to be born with. Don't you think so?

You are not a bad person if you lie often. If you are following your true nature, then it is not a crime. As for me, I will try to lie to myself less and less so I can have a better more honest idea of how to live my life to the fullest.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Korean Stress Remedy

Cure a disease with something from the same disease is how most vaccines and antidotes are made, right?

I have been a hot ball of stress lately because of work so I haven't been a happy camper. I have been asking friends for advice as to how to relieve my stress. I got zen, prevy and even really sound advice from most of them but they all required too much time away from my work. I needed something that gave instant gratification and loads and loads of happy thoughts. Since writing has become a chore as well, I couldn't go to that when my spirit felt mutinous.

I forgot something that I have been doing since I learned how to use a betamax. That watching something cute or funny makes me feel better. Always. I remember going to watch a comedy movie right after an upsetting day and laughing till I forgot that someone fracked up my entire day. I was already a graduate at that time so I could afford going to the movie theater on a whim. I had a better paying but extremely stressful job back then.

I stumbled upon this rediscovery when I went around looking for SECRET GARDEN so that I can watch it and talk to my students about it. But it was not available in the pirate bins just yet. I ended up buying My GIRLFRIEND IS A GUMIHO, IRIS 1 AND 2, and Kaichou-wa-Maid-sama! the anime. None of my favorite pirate bins had hentai so I let that go for now. ^^

Now I have something to look forward to at the end of the day. Yes, my life is boring like that. When you are technically broke all that time because your roommate has not moved in yet and your peanuts paying job is pissing you off, it's all you can do not to drop kick someone. I choose Korean dramas over jail time.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011



CV =

other stuff you need to read
Tagalog version

  1. Make sure you have a registered account. If not, register using the pen name or name you want to use as your official TOP name.
  2. Join the ROMANCE SECTION: Stories for Review. This is where newbie writers should post their first work and get initial fans.
  3. After joining, go to the FORUMS part of the RS group.
  4. Press New Topic or go to the bottom of the list to see the New Topic area.
  • Title : (of the novel)
  • Content : please your teaser here
  • tags : for review, <title of your novel>
  • click Post
    1. When your story is done, send the file (doc) format to the EIC.

**You will be invited to the TOP Writers/Authors/Web contributors group** Wait for the invitation. Otherwise, be active in the Romance Section first and the other writing groups within TOP.

If you have cover for your story, rename it accordingly.

File format: titleofyourstory-by-author.jpg/png (ex. myheartsbirthday-by-pinaywriter.jpg)

You can also upload the covers in imageshack or at the Dashboard>Media> Add New if you have contributor or author access in the site)

Always remember that writing is a whole bunch of re-writing. If you can't handle criticism (constructive or harsh) then perhaps you need to make yourself stronger. If you get hurt easily then you need to toughen yourself up. Do not shy away from corrections and do not be arrogant against it too. Learn to accept them as a different kind of love. A love that can make you grow as a person.

We shy away from trolls though. If there are TOPpers or admins who are hurting you with their words, feel free to PM then and us (the admins) but make sure that you didn't misunderstand the situation. Be open-minded!

Shortcut: You can send your manuscript to the group raw. But it would be exposed, flaws and all, unprotected on facebook. Send it here via email.

Text: TIMES NEW ROMAN (o something that is close to it) , 12, Single-spaced Justified
Chapter title : Center Bold 14

You have to read the rules in the forum of Romance Section

If you have any questions

or Email me here


How to post in the Romance section

Example post for Romance section

Ano po ung CV?

Basahin mo ito:

Ilang words po ang pwede?

Read this!

Pano po gumawa ng cover?

Read this!

Pano po ung writer na o author na?

If you are one, you wouldn't have to ask. (sungit)
Pero kapag naging member ka na ng TOP Web Contributor/Writer/Author then you can post without a lot of limitations based on your new status in the site. 

We will give you a go-signal when to post the teaser and chapter 1 of your novel. Future official novels will be in e-book format.

Free e-book (TOP contributor)
Premium e-book (written by TOP writers and Authors only)
By Donation e-book (special editions)

TOPpers (by registration)
  • pwedeng mag-post sa activity wall ng groups na member siya
  • pwedeng magbasa (gil-less with gils ebooks)
  • pwedeg magcomment
  • pwedeng magfavorite

Web Contributors /TOP contributor (by invitation)
additional posting power : Can post videos, poems quotes etc as an official site post not just in the groups (poems and quotes should be original or properly tagged with source)

*can post original stories from their fb fanpage or blog into TOP's Romance Section/Okatokat Maluk/English Library

** you will be given more information once you are invited

TOP Writers

  • follows TOP contract rules of for TOP only stories/novels
  • has same powers as Web contributors but with other previledges like copyright protection on books and novels

TOP Authors

  • older /senior TOP writers
  • pioneer writers
  • highest level

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

In Debt Adulthood

I am 25 and I still have less than 40k to pay. No, it's not credit card bills. It's what I call mom debts. Whenever I run out of money, I would ask my mom for money and it goes to a list that I have to pay for. But because I have to (yet again) pay 4k for my rent, I can't pay my mom. (I swear if she doesn't move to the room after I clean it again, I am going to have a bitch fit. For real.)

I had so many plans for that money. And now I can't do a thing about it. *rolls eyes* I really really really need to pay off my debts before the end of the year.  Or even just before my bday would be awesome. It would be my gift to myself and to my mom (since we have the same birth month).  I also have plans to go to the gym and that is not going to push through if I can't re-enroll.

I am going straight home later to clean and I am going to line the walls of her closet with what needs to be used to line it. I will do my part. If things still doesn't work out for her, she can just tell me up front and I can find another roommate. Someone not as anal as the ones who I wanted to choke with floorwax before.

Wedding garter or none, my personal goal to start saving some money starts this year. And she is not helping out because of all the delays. I am understanding but there is a limit to my ability to be an adult.

I have plans. I have goals. I might just be becoming less of the Gemini that I was and a Taurus like they are saying I am now. (Seriously, people who take their horoscope personalities seriously are...hilarious.)

I need to be fully independent before my birthday. I need to work hard. I need to pay my dues. God help me. I have bad personal credit. How the heck can I expect to mingle with possible partners in life? Right?

Kinder Award: Most Sociable

I think this was what I got when I was in K1. Or was that K2? Anyway, bottom line is that I have been a sociable kid but over time I have formed weird issues regarding socialization.

One of which is compartmentalization. I didn't take up psychology so don't troll me about this.

I like to keep my friends away from my other friends. There is not a lot of chances for me to go, "This is my high school friend, Hala. Hala, meet my college friend, Hada." There are people who used to go to my old school who went to the same college. But since they were not my initial group of friends, it wasn't a problem being this other me in this new place while they were there.

Second this that I might be misleading people to believe that I actually like people. I don't. I only like a few individuals. This is like my stand on children. Unless they are exceptional in my eyes, I won't like them. People are, in general, the taller and older version of their brattiest selves. So I just don't want to have to deal with them and their rough edges. This might be the reason why I don't work well in a group.

I always wondered how the people whom I have become really good friends with handle the loud, arrogant, idiotic me. Maybe it's like those times when women date guys who are bad for them. And they hope that they can tame them or train them. I say, no one else other that yourself can do that for you.

Having new friends is the mark of this year. But I am wondering if I am neglecting my old ones. I really don't have a choice when it comes to people I work with. I need to get along with them. I just hope that I learn more from them than they would learn from me. But that might be stretching it. They are awesome people but far too busy for me to bother.


Got my paycheck and I want to scream in frustration. If my roommate doesn't move by this month. I am really going to find someone new. T_T I was supposed to use the extra 2k to go out in February and now I can't. Awesome. Freaking awesome.

Monday, January 17, 2011

The Lagayas : Sakura Wedding

It was perfectly imperfect. Why? Because no one refused to smile. Whatever happened, it was, for Che and Myk, the happiest day ever. So what if there were some hiccups, the Korea and Philippine border issues (joke) and the fact that both readers had no idea which part of the mass they were supposed to read their parts. There were some people who took their sweet time getting there and other who are MIA. But who the heck cares. When the violin and piano hit it, the singer (who oddly had a backless shirt) sang with her beautiful voice, everything melted into perfection.

But not quite. This is where I recommend all of my friends to please either include me in the people who are required to walk and pin stuff as supposed to be the one in front reading stuff although I do that so well.

I haven't been to church in AGES to attend mass and have forgotten when to say the prayer of the faithful. I had taken the missalet on our side hostage and was reading through the entire mass. Well, there was that time when me and the other reader thought that the woman who was supposed to do the first reading was not there.So I stood up and bowed and was ready to read instead of her but she stood up, in her chocolate brown sweetness and stilletoed her way to the reader's stand. *Yes, even that word I have forgotten.* I remember saying that I love her shoes but it was unfortunate that the stand where were were supposed to well...stand had gaps so they had to watch their step in order to not to fall in the gaps. Of course I had to snigger, I was in church but I was not a saint. Then the other reader had the same dilemma. I thanked my flat silver shoes for being so comfy and FLAT. The hilarious part was that when I began reading, the mic didn't register. I had not put the mic on! I swear, if I was stand-up comedian, I would have banked in tips that time. I turned it on and proceeded where I left off. Rules in speech comm, don't repeat what you have already messed up, it highlights your mistake. I read it as well as I could possibly can and not one word out of beat (I hope.) and stepped down then bowed.

When it was about the same time for the consecration, the worst thing happened. There was a gong instead of chimes or a bell. I had to snap my hand up, not in salute, but to cover my left ear. I did need it for work after all. The other reader almost got a heart attack in shock. The sacristans snickered of course. Michael game me a look both of "what the" and "stop snickering" or was it "don't you dare laugh out loud while you are in the altar while my wedding is happening". So I swallowed my laughter and tried to pray. I think God decided I needed confession since I didn't get in line in time for communion. Oh well.

The vows were nice. Though I was too kilig and my brain was working on future stories inspired by that day, that moment of pure unadalterated bliss of true love. Whoever believes that true love doesn't exists can suck it. I have proof. The Lagayas are the proof I would slap on their cynical faces. Ha!

Of course, it doesn't end here. The solemnity would give way to cause over a glass of soda.

So I didn't really care much if one of the groomsmen was Phillip. He seems to be carrying a handbag so that mean I was safe. Because a guy carrying a handbag always indicated a lover or his mother. So I vote he brought a plus. I was already a double so I didn't bring one. I carefully avoided any contact with anyone because I didn't want to get into any kind of trouble. But it would be my competitive streak that would be my undoing.

My friends know this about me. I hate loosing. So when it was a drinking contest using soda (so weak haller beer nga kaya eh) with two straws I didn't notice that the other people were not as energetic as I was. And Ate Mesh was actually saying he was a young first cousin. I was like, "So?" It was only when I tilted the empty glass that I realized my mistake. Oh snap! It was one of those alternatives to throwing bouquets. Damn you wedding coordinators and your new fun-filled ideas. I hate you. So needless to say, I got my third garter.

The weird thing is that I always thought you were supposed to return it. But from my experience those brides who got the garter back, had lousy marriages and I remained single afterwards. But this time they made me take it home.

I showed it to my lolos, my uncles, my relatives, my mom and everyone else so that the jinx might go away. And of course, people were singing the same tune. "When are you going to introduce someone to me?" In our family, if a man or a woman is introduced, more often than not, that person would be a member of the family soon enough.

Now, exes, you know why you never got to set foot in my hometown.

The speeches made by the people, relatives, friends, and the newlywed was sweet, poignant and teary. Margaret, Mark (yes odd that it is the same name and I can type it without prejudice) and Moi were in line for the wedding photobooth. Gaga, as I candidly nicknamed her in highschool, was not at all willing because her sister was waiting for us to go out and go home. I was going to ride with them after all. But it was a good thing that we waited since we had so much fun doing it. I let them have the sole copy since the guy said we could get them online anyway. ^^

I wouldn't have missed this wedding for the world. And then some.

Best wishes, Mamang Mykl at Che!~ I hope my gifts would come in handy. ^^

Next time, binyagan naman.

The Lagayas: The Frantic Traveller Moi

I loved it and I hated it. ^^

I was expecting someone to be with us there. She wasn't. I was panicking all the way to the point when I realized I lost the copy of the part I was supposed to read. If that thing ever comes up, I might throw away my laptop altogether. T_T

So I couldn't sleep the night before and I was still in Makati because I was too tired from all the office drama that seems to be the "Happy Weekend!" greeting that they want to give us for several weeks now. I tried to sleep because I didn't want to look like a zombie and be too tired.

By the time I woke up, which was four, I still haven't gotten a single message or reply from my friend who was one of the only three people who got invited from out school. Yes, I am upset about it and she can explain all she wants and what happened would still not be okay or undone or could have been able to invite any new people to the wedding in their place. (I didn't understand why there were three empty seats in our table in the beginning. Maybe I had a plus one option. Tss. And well guess who the other people are. Tss again.)

I took a bath, packed my stuff in a backpack which had a broken zipper, repack everything on a different bag, then checked and double-checked everything because I didn't want to leave my gift yet again or any part of my wardrobe. Michael has been my friend since we were in Kinder 2. And I was not going to be late or absent or a nuisance on his wedding. (I kinda failed on the last part. Hehe.)

I had to hope that I would get to Batangas on time and have some way to get to Lipa without having to ride public transportation. I remembered that my dad would be home since it's my grandfather's 80th birthday on that day. (Yes, there was a major event at home that needed me to be there but I was at that wedding because I made a promise, RSVPed and had I been in the middle of dying, I would have asked ANYONE to tell SOMEONE to tell my friend that I couldn't make it THAT DAY.) So my dad agreed to drive me to the Air Base in Lipa.

Fun Fact: One of my lolos got married at the same church. He was an air force guy and he knew my friend's deceased dad when I mentioned it later that night.

So I got there on time and the fun was just about to begin. ^^
I took a bath before I got into a whirl of moving back and forth, brushing, painting my face and wearing my stockings. I am pretty sure I looked like a cartoon during that time.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

The Lagayas

I saw them when I went on a family trip to Puerto Galera. We took pictures and Cheryl was not one bit like the other girls who dated my friends were like. She was secure in the love that she had for him and he had for her that there was no hint of jealousy in her person. I am sure this might be refuted in the future but I am sure Michael would make sure she never ever feels that after today. That is when I knew that in the future I would have to wear a dress and attend their wedding.

And here we are. It's 3:38 and I am still in Makati. My bessie from elementary school is still not replying to ANY of my messages online and mobile. I am beginning to think her number has a blackhole in it. Oh well, come rain or commuting I am going to Lipa and reading the Prayers of the Faithful at Che and Mykl's wedding. Which is weird because a) I have not gone to church in a very long while that I actually forgot when the prayer of the faithful is prayed b) not the most faithful of the people I know. But it's probably because I talk for a living.

Michael was excited and he even texted me about that. He even mentioned a name that I thought was bizaro. He said Phillip was going to be there. And the person who came into mind was a classmate from SBC then I realized that in an even more weird six degrees of separation, some guy I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding is his school mate or something and now he is attending his wedding. God, I hope I made a mistake in connecting those dots. Let's just say, I might have left an impression of who I was back then on that boy. But I am now twice the girl I was before and less appealing. So I think I should be safe. And since I have internet until five today, I am definitely going to keep people posted on what is happening in what would be one of the best weddings I would ever attend.

I wonder when I would invite them to my wedding. It would definitely have to be both of them. ^^

Note to self: You barely missed getting the bouquet at Zena's wedding. Had you not given it to Angel at the last second. So you need to be careful to stay away from the flight pattern of the flowers for this wedding. So many things can go wrong for you. Forget you center fielder training. DO not stand under the exact point where the flowers would fall. Remember that you had to move away when the flowers at Bula's wedding landed in front of you. So be careful, be very very careful.

Laters!~ Blog you in Batangas.

Friday, January 14, 2011

I learned something new

Define your existence not only based on what you want to do for the rest of your life but by how you want to be immortalized in the hearts of those you love and those who can learn from you. ^^

Today was really stressful for me. I wanted to throw things at people, honestly. I got new responsibilities on top of an already deadly list of things to do and the reason behind all of it is apparently because I am good at what I do. But what kind of reward is new work to do instead of time to rest? And what kind of people management skills is it when you cause more grief to people because you don't want to help them out to understand something? What kind of arrogance is it when you shift blame and point that you did it right when in fact, the people around you didn't all understand what the heck you wanted them to do.

I learned a lot from people today. I learned from Tiff that I should not make jokes or even open my tactless mouth when things are heated and really uncomfortable. And I really appreciate her for that. I learned that if a leader does her job well like a lioness cares for her cubs, even if you have a bad day at work, unity helps make it less confusing.

I learned never to confront bosses in a meeting because it makes them feel like they are being attacked. If you have issues, then you have to hash it out to them. Not one manager is like the other. But also, you have to understand that she is dedicated to do her job and she also has her own deadline. And that the difference of cultures can cause a big gap.

I learned that I need to read all work-related e-mails. I learned that I need to track all of my students in a file like an excel and not be too lazy about it.

I learned that even if you like your job, sometimes it's the other stuff that comes with it that pisses you off and you need to find a happy place before you become suicidal or worse, a crazed employee with a machine gun.

I learned that no good deed goes unpunished. I learned that I definitely don't want to get promoted ever again. I learned that I need to get my own net connection in my apartment so I need to expedite my wi-tribe application.

I learned that whatever you say or do, work is a business run by people who do things their way. You either bend over or leave. After all, they are paying you. Learn what you can and teach others once you get the hang of it.

Also, I also learned that one must always ask another person to proof-read one's memos or new policy rules. Wrong grammar in an online English company kinda defeats the whole purpose of it all.

I suddenly miss Miss Kim and Miss Tasha more and more. Gosh I even miss Miss Bella, now that you come to think of it.

Traveller Grade : D

My Lakbayan grade is D!
How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!
Created by Eugene Villar.

I need to remedy this whole thing. I want to be able to add to the places that I have visited. Since my job offers some unique holidays when I don't have to go to work like the Lunar New Year and Korean Thanksgiving. I can use those times to go out. 

Too bad I promised Angel to go out during the Sol-al.  T_T I'll just make it up to her. I also need to tell my mom about our team trip to Pangasinan and Baguio. 

The last time I was in Baguio I went to my friend's house and I was with the corps commander of the ROTC. She was a UPLB student then and I was a COCC like her. He was courting her then and her mom hated soldiers and Marcos. He on the other hand, wanted to emulate the man's achievements. Or something like that. I ate breaded spinach and had a lot of fun. I still have the long-sleeved turtleneck that I bought in an ukay there for 50php. The PMT shirt I bought for a hundred has long been stolen from the clothesline so I might look for that again. I went to the PMA then and had a lot of fun since I had wanted to be a soldier then. 

Now she is a former Miss Earth Water and full-time flight attendant. He finished Westpoint and he is in the Air Force. I am a teacher and I still haven't ridden a plane. 

I wonder what Team Max & Co would do when we visit Ate Mhel's place in Pangasinan and I go back to Baguio once again. 

Gosh, I wish I could drag a boy with a car to this trip. If not for me, maybe for Ai. ^^

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Patient Bosses are ♥

I am a pain in the gluteus maximus when I am irked or I feel like I have reached my point. I am glad that the Head TL, I will call him Summers Oppa and team TL, I will call her Max, were patient enough to read and listen to my rant.

I am beginning to think that the problem that I am feeling is not really something that I should take out on the people who are above me. I need to take it up with Kimchi Kikay 2.0.

My old officemates from my previous company know that as a GL, I care more about the welfare of the teacher than all the money they can slap us with. I went through a piece of hell and a slice of heaven while I was working for that company. They paid me well so I worked my ass off for them. Granted that I bent some rules to make the experience not as bad for my team, I never regretted saying what I wanted, when I wanted to.

Sue me if you think otherwise.

I have seen and have personally experienced how bad it was to have a nonstop class sked. I have survived it. So I hated the insinuation that some people remarked that I can do it. I know I can. That is not the issue here. The issue here is that I moved to this low-paying, HMO-less industry because I didn't want to have the infections and stresses that being a BPO agent brought.

If I wanted that, then I would have stayed there.

I notice this to be true for many years now. When there is a new Kimchi kikay in town, the schedules become humanly impossible to handle. I can understand the whole, "your time is paid so do your job" argument. But I AM NOT A ROBOT. Had I been one I wouldn't need to pee a single drop now, do I? If you are the kind of person who is prone to infections and gets fevers immediately, it would be best to prevent the factors and the symptoms rather than drink the medicine. It's not like we have a health card that we can magically swipe and flash at the face of doctors and health technicians. Give me that, give me coverage and I would talk for four hours non-stop.

I can do it. I just don't want to because it affects concentration, it ruins my QA because I have to slip out to pee because there is no break time. So if they ding me for it, I might just do the same thing that I did earlier.

I was so pissed that I slipped out to pee only to find out all the bathrooms were occupied. Awesome, right? *holds sarcasm sign* I could control and I growled. I don't growl at work. I cuss, I rant but I don't growl. Groan maybe. I am not the table hitting kind of person however odd that might sound. I don't throw tantrums. I rant then I do what needs to be done anyway.

I don't like people who patronize me. I know it when the TL is just saying something to appease an irate agent or teacher. I have been there. Heck, I can lie through my teeth. Just don't tell me, "You can do it." because I already know I can.

Haller? CommArts ako. We can do anything.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

How fare you train-taking friends? : LRT and MRT fare hike

I am actually glad that I take the bus in the morning. I chanced upon a link in my plurk timeline about the LRT, MRT fare hike  being approved. I used to take the train a lot when I was in the PM shift while working for E-Lamp. For a person who is claustrophobic it's hell to go to work by MRT. But the alternative was to spend two hours on the bus during lunch hour so there was no real contest.

But for the millions of commuters who will be affected by this price hike, I wonder what they would have to give up just to adjust their budget. I know it's long overdue and I know that they only reason why we didn't get this hike a long time ago was because it a political move for Arroyo. But Mr. President, I just want you to reassure all of us that the next time we walk in and out of the MRT or the LRT, at least there wouldn't be grayed walls of dust and those odd hiccups that cause us our attendance incentives. 

We don't have a choice but to shoulder what the government slowly refuses to shoulder. But make sure that we get more from this than those who run the tracks. You have yet to show us any beef of your promise to battle against corruption and raise those who are below the poverty line. 

With this decision, although sound from a business point of view, you might just put more people back on their feet, literally, since they can't afford the train fare. 

Good job. 
bigbang theory

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Black Cat Trio

Bad Luck #1 : New encoding system totally ruined my work flow.

I don't know what to put as a comment as it is now adding more time for me to fix things and add corrections since the clickable review selection are not the right one for my student's needs which are usually related to word choice. Also the multiple boxes took more time to place sentences from my template to the student screen. Oh and there was the scare that the reports were not going through.

Bad Luck #2 : New account and kid students.

I thought it would be way behind me since I left E-Lamp. Now I have to be nice Noona mode again. I love challenges like the student who can't follow "Give me a new hint." or  "Please don't read the answer to the guessing game." (BTW today, the lady seems to understand me more. I am happy. So I will work harder to teach her better. If I can make zero level english speakers talk, I can make her talk.)

But kids. They are essentially scared of me. Even the phone is not enough of a barrier. But my Junior student is okay since she is able to speak well enough but outside of the book, she knows very little. So this whole Tarahasayo account they have will just make me flip, I think. God, I hope not. I can handle interview classes all day long just don't give me children.

I might tender my resignation if this becomes a common part of my schedule. Tsss. Though I love my job. Don't.Push.It.

Bad luck #3 : Posting Confusion

I thought the meeting we had cleared all my issues and their issues admin-wise. I thought I knew what I was supposed to do. But due to some misunderstanding, and also them being super involved and attentive to possible security errors or confusion in the rules, I got ticked off. I admit that. I thought, "What the hell, I thought this was already settled?" But I realized that the people I work with in T.O.P. are real GEMS, flowers of the highest caliber. They know how to say sorry and chill without me going over the top about things. I think I would really learn a lot from them, as a woman, as a writer and as an adult who can have fun.

I just  hope they are a little bit more patient with me a little bit longer.

All in all, I blame lack of sleep. I am going home now and going to sleep after I finish dinner. Because honestly, I function better as a well-rested person.

With the new encoding fiasco that is our new system, I would need all the happy thoughts that I could get just to be able to get everything done tomorrow. 340 minutes is not a walk in a park when the other minutes are spent trying not to frack up your reports.

I really need to finish the PRs later at home. I wouldn't want my students to worry. I am just freaking tired. I might sleep on the bus now.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Speak for a living? Pulp it up!- My Minute Maid Pulpy Addiction

When I was in college I had this friend who kept raving about Minute Maid. This guy was a pulpy orange juice fan, I wasn't. I hated how those stuff seemed to choke me when I drank it. Of course it was just natural that I didn't try Minute Maid's pulpy orange juice for a long time, right? Wrong.

Fast forward many years later, I already work as an online English teacher and I have a cold that prevented me from feeling as perky as I needed to be on the phone. All the things that used to work for me wasn't helping. It was difficult for me to get any sentence in without having to mute the avaya.

Lemon juices are severely acidic and since I didn't want to add an upset stomach to my list of ills, I chose the one drink I thought was closest to the natural kind of fruit juice in the nearby 7-11, the Minute Maid orange juice. I expected something that would make my stomach turn and make me throw the pulpy madness away. But the first swig was miraculously smooth and I actually ended up buying more that day.

Safe to say it saved my throat from weeks of coughing. I was able to get my old voice back and I might have formed a slight addiction to it. To date, it's the only bottled orange juice that I drink. Yes, I don't like orange juice that much.

But the fun thing about this pulpy trend is that I never expected they would come up with something more awesome. I love mangoes so I love their Minute Maid Pulpy Mango Orange. I actually drank it for an entire month that I actually had to give it up for a while because it was sweet and that got in the way of work. I have to literally stop my hand with the other one to keep from buying it whenever I go to a convenience store.

Adding to the list of my pulpy addiction is the White Grape with aloe vera bits. (Imagine me getting giddy just thinking about it.) I discovered it when it came out. I love everything green so I drank it for an entire week until I caught myself saying, "Maybe the aloe vera would be good for my skin." Then I realized, I don't like grape flavored things.

So my pulpy addictions broke two juice barriers that I made when I was a kid. The orange and grape juices barrier. Because in a long list of medicine-tasting juice flavors, the Minute Maid pulpy collection is manna from heaven.


How about you? Share your pulpy experience to the rest of the world. Send me a link of your picture drinking your pulpy favorite and I would add it to this blog entry. ^^ Leave the link at a comment so I can check it anytime.




Online teacher's breakfast : Korean bbq by 7-11 and Minute Maid Pulpy Mango Orange

Party Girl trick: Increase vitamin C after smoking and juice up when thirsty

Got lazy buying one small bottle at a time. ^^ PULP UP your LUNCH!~
loves that it comes in green!~
Teaching with MMP! I <3 green btw

Career and Social life 2011

Year 2011 Career

The key to continued career success lies in your ability to network like it's your job. Being the messenger of the zodiac, this is like breathing for most Gemini's. If you happen to be one of the shyer twins, use the fiery energy of 2011 to put yourself out there. When the planet of fortune and fame enters your sector of goals and friendships, it's up to you to take the initiative. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
A huge shift takes place when Neptune, the planet of illusions and delusions enters your career sector in April for a relatively short stint until August. This is only a preview of what's to come in 2012 and then continue to evolve over the next decade. The best part is that you'll finally feel like you can wed your need for glamour and soul with your professional aims. But the downside is the potential for more confusion when it comes to clearly delineating what exactly you want in the long-term. What mark do you want to make on this big bad world? You're about to discover that this question leads more to a process than a destination.
With the cosmic taskmaster cracking the whip in your creativity sector over the course of the year, you can't help but take your ideas more seriously. In fact the more you honor your myriad artistic talents the sooner you can turn your gifts into a potentially lucrative enterprise. When Jupiter enters your sector of dreams and imagination in June, you'll certainly suffer no shortage of inspiration.

 Year 2011 Overview

As the consummate social butterfly of the zodiac, you'll be thrilled to hear that the major planetary emphasis takes place in your social sector in 2011. Expect your agenda to be chock full of parties and events to keep you busily buzzing without pause.

The year begins on a romantic note with Venus gracing your relationship sector. But as the year unfolds, you'll be making so many new friends and networking contacts, you'll barely have time to think about intimacy with one person. The more the merrier is one of the year's central themes. You have a knack for attracting interesting characters from every walk of life and finding what's special about them. It's your insatiable curiosity that brings out the gems in all you meet. And the more you can learn about yourself through the continuous onslaught of new personalities and alliances livening up your social scene, the happier and more fulfilled you will feel.

With Pluto still excavating the depths of your soul, your interest in psychology and desire to plummet your own depths only gets stronger throughout 2011. Asking the deeper questions about what really makes you tick can open many wonderful doors. Self-knowledge is power. When Jupiter, the planet of philosophy and expansive thinking enters your subconscious sector right around your birthday, you'll be blessed with amazing vision, renewed perspective and a series of Eureka moments and kismet meetings with amazing people. 2011 is the year for expanding your horizons, meeting kindred spirits and finally creating the community of your wildest dreams.


There is a tug-of-war in my head right now. I want more money all of a sudden. I want to save up for my future and I can't do it here. I like the job because it's almost as easy as doing something with my eyes closed. But. I need HMO. I need to have a set of policies that do not change at a drop of the hat. I can understand being stressed and high metrics if it has it's weight in gold, so to speak. I am happy in my present job. But happiness can't pay debts or doesn't  gain interests.

My friend told me I would probably not survive the lifestyle. I tried before and I was sick all the time. But I account that to being in a clean environment for a long time then suddenly breathing in recycled air and polluted air the next moment.

I believe that my health problems would just include my eyesight and irregular period. My allergies have always been there. They are just more obvious now. That can't stop me from talking on the phone anyway so it's not a problem. I can't keep working for peanuts since there doesn't seem to be any chance for me to win the lottery or the husband lottery for that matter. ^^

So I would need to fend for myself. I want to be an adult and try to go back to the industry that I tried to escape because it seems inconvenient at that time. I just hope they would be willing to train me. I want to work closer to where I live so that I don't have to put travel in my list of expenses.

Oh and there is a chance that I might be able to skip riding an airplane if I am too busy. Let's see after February. I will need to give it some time.

But giving me a kid student is not going to help keep me where I am. And if do any more "pure business" policy-making then I am not going to sit around and wait for my turn. I can get that kind of abuse somewhere else where they pay more money to pad the blow.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

A Wave of Change for T.O.P.

There would be a lot of things that would change this year for T.O.P. There would be things that might so to be a bit harsh or might make TOPpers feel like they can't get the kind of freedom that they had when they began being a reader or a writer for the site.

But what the admin would like for the future is for writers to be molded, for readers to give their love to the writers in a more direct way and for someday see people walking down the street and you would be able to recognize them as co-TOPper.

There would be a few things that would be hard to swallow in the beginning, rules that seem too harsh or hard to handle. But one day, I dream for all newbie writers to find TOP a place to not just read but to learn. For amateurs to realize their dream of writing for the love of it and eventually, for the funds it could generate for them. There would still be free stories, that would always be a TOP trademark. But there would be a chance for this to be a stepping stone to something else. And it would require understanding, love and mutual respect as well as undaunting loyalty to make sure that TOP remains on top.

Sana suportahan ng lahat ng TOPpers ung mga changes. Sana sumunod ang mga writers sa rules. At sana balang-araw mas gumaling pa tayo. ^^

Friday, January 7, 2011

800x600 Day

Dear Mr. I am so awesome because I am the IT guy,

You inconvenienced me today. Wait for the karma that will be quaking you in your life. 800x600 is not an ideal resolution for a teacher who needs to open so many things on her screen.

May you hang by your cables.

Yours Truly,


Re: Restart your computer

I have already restarted my computer four times.


Re: Re:Restart your computer

Restart it for the fifth time. ;-)

IT guy

Subj: Ju go le?

Translation: Do you want to die?



Imagine having someone tell you that when in fact you were a techsupport person in your past job. It's so condescending and absobloodyuseful, right? Right? TGIF? FCKMA. Friday can kiss my a** is more like it.

I swear, they best fix this sh*te. Otherwise, they should move me to a different station, one with more awesome features or at the very least a better resolution and by better I mean I MEAN SMALLER FREAKING WINDOW SIZES.

TO Mr. I am a sucky IT,

You are making me break my DO NOT MURDER anyone 2011 resolution. You better check yourself before you wreck yourself.


Thursday, January 6, 2011

First Trip out

January 2, 2011 departure batangas: 5:24 pm

I almost had to stand on a bus because of a miscalculation. I forgot that the later you leave from the province, the less likely you would have something to ride. I am not a big traveler and since working for my previous company and getting such a big cut on my cash flow, I haven't gone home due to the fact as well that there had been few weddings to attend and it's not débutante season in my family. 

But this year is supposed to be full of social events and ventures that would cost me a lot of money. Coming into the year, I have to save money to go to Isabela. BY PLANE. Yes, you read it right. I escaped the whole Bora trip last December but now not only do I have to pay for my fare, I also have to subject myself to a family reunion with my father's family. It's almost like meeting the family of my imaginary boyfriend since I have yet to remember the names of the people from my father's side of the gene pool. I have caught a glimpse of them one and I have come to the conclusion that my dad's side got the smart gene. Our cousins are cute and some of the girls that I have caught a glimpse of are ippuda. On my side, the boys and the girls look the same. Exhibit A. I look like my younger brothers when I am wearing a football jersey, big pants and sneakers. But who the fuck cares, we are all from UP? Beat that hot cousins who changes majors like they change mindsets. ^^ I am being arrogant again, forgive me. I want to bring back the old me. The one who is full of confidence that people hate me for being loud and obnoxious. No more compromises in my life now. Gym money is an investment, not a waste of my time. While I am planning to help people work hard on their TOP stories (sorry for being offline during the holidays, guys. I needed a break. I am all yours in 2011!) I also need to improve myself so that I can present my best to the world too. Granted that I can't be my 21-year-old self anymore than I can pick a guy up with a wink anymore, I am going to make sure that my tummy is not straining against my shirt when I wear a tank top.I would be able to walk up the stairs or an inclined plane without heaving. 

I haven't smoked in a while and I think it's a good thing. I am sure that I would be a smoker for the rest of my life but I don't have to do it to be able to have something in my mouth. Yes, forgive the innuendo here. I would need my mouth for the rest of the year to pay for everything that I would be doing to improve myself. 

As much as I don't do resolutions on January one, I do it on my birthday because that is the actual new year for moi. ^^ I would list down the things I want to do here that would also appear on my birthday projects. Yes, I arrogant enough not to call them resolutions since from my observations I only do one resolution per year and that is not okay. 

1. Pay off all my mom debts. Yes, I owe my mom money. Because unlike you, I don't want to smooch off my mother for the rest of my life. It's actually one of my life goals to be able to save money and give my parents a comfortable life. I am the first born. It's a thing called independence and it's brother responsibility. You should look it up. 

2. Loose all break-up and call center weight gained. Stress made me fat. I am carrying all the after effects of my stint with Mark and my call center months. I am also carrying the E-lamp AM shift happy fats. So I plan to shed them all. Keep the memory of my fats as memories. I know I would be stress-free and would be able to fit to more of my old clothes (save money) and be fit into new clothes (seriously bazaar clothes are tiny it's insulting). And this time I would not think of it as loosing weight rather I would think of it removing excess baggage. Better right? I have gotten rid of my emotional baggage so I should do the same with the physical one, right? Right. 

3. Work on being a team player. 

I suck at being a part of a team. I got hugged by OMFH #2 and I like OFMH#1 now. I have seen the second one as a person who owns up the the flaws I hated about her and the former well, she hugged me. I don't hug enemies so that simple act. whether she meant it or not made me hate her less. I am not a hugger. I didn't even beso for the longest times. My college friends know this about me. ^^ I concede only if the person knows no other form or greeting like the handshake or I already like them a lot (which is hard to achieve in less than 24 hours but because of my first impression lasts philosophy, it's know to happen.). 

Anyway, this year, I plan to work hard on being a good team member by working on my personal performance so that my Team Leader Maxine doesn't have to worry about me. I would try my best to not get demerits although quit frankly this company seems to have a stick up their ass about rules which is refreshing an necessary for me. I tend to be a rule breaker and if there aren't any very good firewalls put up in my computer and my behavior, I tend to be a big headache. UP thing, I think.   

So, I will try to improve my grammar, if that was even possible. Work on helping other people improve, learn something new everyday, as well as share those information in a nice way not in my snotty Hermione Granger kinda way. 

4. Dress for the occasion. 

I plan to put all the things that rubbed off Reina. Kaye, JI, Trina and various fashionable friends and put them into good use. 

I am merging my college coolness and my present adult self, remember? Well. the hair cut was step zero. The grow out that follows is actually what I am hoping for. 

The removal of excess baggage will help with the outfits because more would fit and more choices can be made. Holler to all plus size clothes designer. MORE CREATIVITY POR FAVOR. Thanks. 

I can still wear boy clothes whenever I am traveling or I feel like it, but I would not wear the same thing the entire week, style I mean. I already know that girly clothes make people notice me more. But I am not doing it because it makes them notice me. I am doing or will be doing it to find my comfort zone in the midst of fashionable and comfortable. I need a comfarshionable me. I will experiment this year, so please bear with me. 

5. Social Network Me. 

I watched the movie and had I not read the article about Mark, then I would have believed that he is worth the person of the year thing. Heck, Bill Gates was not painted as a decent guy either. But I am getting ahead of myself. 

I don't want my friendships to just be online. But I also want my friends to realize that RL time is limited for me this year because I have  a lot of projects that would take them up. I have to edits novels, I have to write my own, I need to exercise, work, and best of all, I need to put myself out there. I do want to have a boyfriend but because according to my darn stars, I won't be getting one this year. I want to play the field a little bit by meeting new potential friends and lover. Not the singular on the last one. Yes, I am going to try the monogamous or abstinence route again. I am pretty sure the latter one is more likely since Reina is in Riyadh, Carla is going to Bahrain, Kaye is playing for the other team, Trina is busy at work,Fried and JI are even busier at work, and I don't work well without the cheerleader effect. ^^ And plus, man-hunting is not fun without them. Period. In my group of friends, I am Samantha. In our group, I am Miranda. As much as Samantha is awesome, I don't want to be her anymore. Though being cheated on as Miranda has never been fun. I want a Samanda. I want to be a Natasha. Since that is who I am now at work. I need to make her comfarshionable and in turn mofornicamous. Monogamous and fornicating. Yes. It sounds odd. But try saying it again. It's funny. 

So. Friend in RL need to be priority one. Minus the worrying about their lives. I need to have one of my own. Getting a roommate would help with this. I need to clean my room, buy an extra bed and clear out a closet first. 

6. Keep my lair and lappie bat free. 

I need to make sure that I clean my room everyday. Not every week. Not every month...not just when the shit is too high I can't walk or see the wall anymore. I am trying to mix my college self with my adult self minus the bad habits. T_T This might require some weeks of bring all the shit I want burnt or given away home but I would do it. I also need to bring home my laundry so they can all get washed by someone who is not washing other families or singles clothes, in a washing machine that is ours and not for hire, with fabric softeners that are not used to mask the smell of dewy half-assed washing but to accentuate the actual cleanliness of the clothes. 

I already have the mop. I want to get a decent broom. I want to get a decent rug and no buff wood liquid shine. 

I am thinking keeping my sleeping space and my work space (since I would be editing there) clutter-free would be easy. I know my possible roomie is going to be a bit on a slob side like moi. But if I place the right places to clutter and learn to clean after her, I am thinking I can learn to understand why women clean after their men. Honestly, I have never had to clean up after my men, despite what happened to us, they have been OCD with order, love it. Love them for being like that. We're friends. True story. 

Only person whose place I had to clean was my male best friend. I loved it and hated it since I was smuggled into his room and I couldn't go out to get water to clean his room. It was awful and I realized that I love him more than I will ever love my boyfriends because as I have said, I don't clean after boys. I clean for my family (rarely) and that is only because I love them So him being my "twin" it felt okay to clean his place. ^^ 

I also need to literally burn unnecessary stuff off my lappie. I need it to contain latest episodes, music, TOP novels and some movies. As well as pictures that have not been uploaded yet. I need to find SINGKO (my portable HD) and clean it out. 

I also need a decent anti-virus and what not. If I could I need to get Windows 7 but I would not have it unless I need a reformat. And I want to put that off since I don't know where my Vegas installer is.

So note to self: Buy anti-virus/spyware/malware and original Vegas installer. ^^ 

7. Monetize my creative writing gig. 

I don't know if the person who needs to be receptive of this would agree but I want this year to be the year we actually earn something from writing stories without breaking loyalty from TOP or taking an x-deal with anyone. 

I want the writers to grow and be polished enough to be able to write about stuff that are within the genre but extraordinary. I want them to know the rules. learn what rejection is like (though we won't reject them just ask them to revise till they get it right), and be able to feel that the work that they would bring out is the best they have made thus far. I want them to be how I felt when I got my play staged, after all the semesters that I had to suffer, humble, and work my ass off. Because after that, and with the love and support of the TOP readers. they would have something more than confidence. They would have fans. They would have a better version of what they had before. 
I am way behind on my editing this January is going to be so hectic that I would not even have time to figure out how it ended. 

I need to get a wi-tribe installed to make things smoother. Meantime I would have to work with what I have. Which is work net and SM wifi. ^^ 

One step at a time. Before, you know it, it's

Like this list. I would add to it but these are what I want to pull this year. And frack it, I would make sure I cross them all off my white board.  

Note to self: Shoes are heavy. I think you forgot that already. You were flip flops too often. You are sloppy like that. 

end of blog: 6:32 PM SLEX

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

My friend's Brother is a CommArts Stud Baguio!

I guess I can't help him out to adapt to his new environment. We can't even ask our friends to help him out since he is all the way over there. But I think it's the best thing that happened to him since he doesn't have to follow after his sister at all. Sans the same course, the kid would have to handle every Isko step that he would take on his own.

But it's cool, literally, that he is in UPB. It was originally where the Communication Arts program started. (correct me if I am wrong) So we are still ecstatic that he is one of us.

Who knows? If he gets bored in UPB, he can always transfer to UPLB. He just needs 33 units...I think. ^.^

Dorming, meeting new friends, plays, org meetings, reports, speeches, papers, quirky teachers, awesome mentors, heartbreaks, hang-overs, as well as mistakes, big and small, lessons, life-changing and minute, will be laced with the flair and the weirdness that is UP.

It's Jet's turn now.


Here is Reina freaking out.