Friday, December 24, 2010

A Thankful Christmas

A lot happened this year that would change me for the rest of my life. A lot of lessons are now very much a part of who I am that it makes me so happy that I have the Christmas gift that evaded me the past few years.

Once again I find myself feeling like the me that I was the day before I met Mark. Not that meeting him was bad or anything, it was awesome in a way. But to feel the love that I had for myself once again makes me feel free, beautiful (at least on the inside), and brave.

What I want for next Christmas is someone to share it with. Sure I celebrate with my family every year and it's the best time to show our love for one another, but it would be cooler to have someone to fret over because I don't know what exactly to give him.

I didn't get Christmas gifts from my exes. At least not one that I wanted. It would be cool to have a boyfriend who remembers my actual birthday without the Facebook reminder and who gives me the gift of a life together for Christmas.

So I will be a good girl this year, okay...I'll TRY to be a good girl this year and maybe I would meet someone this year who would make my heart trust again. And this time, my trust won't be in given in vain.

But I think this year, despite its MAJOR FAIL moments, is full of them blessings. Friends that I made are for a lifetime. People I met enriched my life. I was able to pay off my laptop. I got over my last boyfriend. I got super fan moments that make 2010 super awesome. I won awards I never expected, met interesting minds who continue to make me smarter despite not being in school.

I hope 2011 is a little more mellow but more productive. This time next year, I hope that I have a lot of things to be thankful for again. I know that some people hate the holidays because it magnifies the fact that they are single. But with a family like mine and all the love that I have in my life, I realize that being single is not a burden. It's an experience that I have to go through to appreciate being in love or being in a relationship.

He asked me if I still loved him. I said no, not the way that I did before. And I am thankful for that most of all. Because now, my love is going to lift me up and let me be who I want to be and be with someone who would respect, love and cherish me enough to always be true to me and only to me.

So for all of us who are single, Christmas is not cold, it's a time to spread warmth with a little smile and sincere greeting.

To my Korean students, Merry Christmas!
To my Filipino friends, Maligayang Pasko!
To my family, I'll be home at around 6 or 8 p.m. You might want to start the party without me. I'll get there as soon as I can.

To all of my new friends, offline and online, I hope that you all enjoy your Christmases.
To my non-Christian friends, what the heck, have a great weekend!

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