Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Of Liam and Full Homes

He is beautiful. Even more so than the photos that were posted on our group. And he is blessed and strong. I am happy to be a future kumpil ninang. ^.^ I just wish we were all there to see him.

My friend Eka said to me something that made my being an OCD friend seem worth it. Something referring to the fact that we were all there during the important times in her life.

That there is friendship, kiddos. We don't have to be tied together at the waist. But we just need to be THERE when it matters. Because that is also how FAMILY works where I come from.

With all the things happening over at my parent's house, I just want to be able to learn how to close my eyes and see what is happening over there all the time.

But no, I will not survive living at home. It's just that my parents made us too self-sufficient in the outside but in our core we are drawn home still to be able to settle in our hometown. But until then, I would have to wait for my mom to tell me what is going on. I know she's tired. But I am just glad that her kids don't really give her that much grief. Though I am sure she would nag us for grandchildren until one of us actually breaks under the pressure and gives her one.

Our home is back to the way it was. I suddenly remember my PEBA blog entry in 2010. My Mom's Quasi-Orphanage. My siblings are used to our house being a full house, because a full house however crowded is a source of healing and love. And the center of that is our parents.

My mother is a believer that when one does good things without asking for a reward, God provides. My parents are not just regular parents to me. And I am honestly scared that someday I would be tasked to follow in their "work" in the family. Because I am a naturally selfish person but I am gullible too. I don't want to have to turn away people or have to help someone because they have nowhere to turn to. I just have rare moments of goodness. The rest of the time I just DGAF. So yeah. There are still much to learn from my mother.

My power word this year is Balance. At this point, I think I have found it but only a little bit. There is more to do next year. So I am thinking what is my power word for next year? Maybe it should be SAVE. What do you think? Or maybe it should be LOVE? Kekeke. Or Sixty-Five (pertaining to my ideal weight). Yeah, I think it should be Sixty-Five. ^.^

Sixty-Five it is then.

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