Overcoming Kryptonite

People know my kryptonite is deadlines. This is why I can't finish Nanowrimo though I make a play for it every year. This is why I can't get published. (That and because I am such a lazy writer, the more you pressure me to write, the lazier I get.)

But I think working on the research and development team would help me to get things going. I always write on a whim and had forgotten the training I got when I was in high school and college. Though even then I have always been a photo-finisher kind of student. I was amongst those who ran up the stairs of the department building that houses the faculty just so I can make it to the deadline.

So I think having to work on something under extreme time pressure would help me train how to manage my time better. And asking people to meet their deadline does make me feel embarrassed when I sense that I am working a lot slower than other members of my team.

I know that I can complain about it but what I just need to do is deliver. And if my OCD about this would kick in, we would never get anything done. It's interesting to learn my weaknesses too. I suck at making activities. I can fart out a dialogue like I just ate a whole basket of kamote but when I face the bold ACTIVITY word on my word document I am stumped. This part takes me the longest to finish. So I tried making the activity part first just to make sure it's out of the way once I get the dialogue going. But sometimes even that takes too long.

Don't misunderstand. I am not complaining at all. This is actually a lot of fun. #goodkindastress kind of stuff make me feel both crazy (because there is so much to do) and fulfilled that I am actually able to use my writing skills for something worthwhile and work-related. It seems daunting and there are a lot of things that I need to read up on, especially new teaching methods. (I suddenly envy friends who go to teaching seminars) I know that there are limitations to the methods that we can use online and there might not be enough time to uptrain our teachers to the new methods. But it wouldn't hurt to improve on an existing idea.

I think if I was in a real faculty room, I would be that half-crazed over-worked teacher who has her toes in every activity in school. And that doesn't sit well with me. My lazy nature abhors overexertion except if I am truly passionate about something.

So yeah. I am having fun stressing myself out over English activities and dialogues. #mylifesoboring But for the first time this year. I actually know what the heck I am doing. So it's all good.