Saturday, May 21, 2011

I can handle the truth

What I can't handle is that all this time that I have been doing my best to help you and hope that you can become as good as you hope to be, you didn't extend the same love and devotion that I extended towards you. If I was the same mean girl that I was in highschool. *yes I was worse than you can ever imagine* you would be covered in boils and your hair would be falling off now. But always I thank the LOYAL and HONEST friends that have helped me become less mean. All I need to do is direct my anger or disappointment to other more productive things. I remember now that I should always remember that my SOUL is of more valueable than simple revenge because I have people who love me and appreciate my give my 100% to friends attitude. Too bad that now I have to demote you to workmate or acquaintance. Because I can't trust you with my deepest darkest secrets if you can't even say to my face and be truthful that I hurt you. You know my policy. Hurt me but not the people I hold dear.

And up until the truth was revealed to me, I was defending you. I was telling them, please cut her some slack. She is young. We are here to help her understand how the world works. I want her to reach her full potential. But now I can honestly say, you are dead to me. I will finish the work I promised to do and I will wash my hands of you. I will continue to edit and help those who are willing to accept my help. And I will find joy that I helped them come this much closer to achieving their dreams.

I was too trusting again. This is my greatest flaw from the start. My mom told me it was because she is like that too. But like her, once my trust is broken it is revocked forever.

So feel free to talk behind my back. Feel free to tell others you dislike how I helped you. Refuse to grow up. Because I have no need of people like you in my life. Believe unfriending you is not necessary. I will just keep on existing fabolously as I have always done. I will focus on those who are willing to extend this hand to help others.  I will welcome those antis who would tell me that I am an arrogant, controlling bitch who has a UP complex. Because at least, they were honest and they gave me a chance to explain and make amends.

Someday, I hope you meet people like my friends who can point you in the right direction. OR hit you in the back of the head when you are being stupid. And  I have the bumps to prove that I needed that more than once.

Sana matupad mo ang mga pangarap mo. I am here as the EIC. I don't think you considered me a real friend. Because in my book real ones tell their friends "Hey, you hurt me. Fix it."

Too late if you say it now. Nasaktan na ako.

1 comment:

  1. well said pinay :) you will be fine *hugs* we are just here...


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