Saturday, January 19, 2013

BORA SERIES: 1 Of Flying and Fears

Bora 1 :

Of Flying and Fears

It was the adventure that I did not want to go to. It was the vacation that I would have never have thought would be possible. It was a celebration of ten years of friendships. December 2012 had been the best and the worst for me. It was the culmination of two groups of friends and the things that I would do for them and the things they have done for me. I married off two friends, one wedding I missed but I hope so relive in video and pictures and another one that I witnessed and participated in and hope will be strong and fruitful as perhaps my parent's marriage still is. But the highlight of my year has been this trip to Boracay that my college friends have been planning since ever. It started as something that had to be done in 10-10-10 but the actual thing happened 12-31-12. I could give you a blow by blow of it all, and long winded person that I am I probably will but I want to just say this before the tips and the details come flooding out, I am just glad that I am able to say that I rode an airplane and I survived it. Granted that it was only for 45 minutes at a time but that is change, that for me was terifying. But like what I now know but refused to believe in before, it is that the things you are afraid of may not always be the reason why you are not able to go places or do things you never thought would be possible, it's your perception of what you are capable of doing that makes you less of who you can be. Sure I still don't think my job is my niche in the world, but I need to stop making excuses as to why I did not write anything substantial in 2012. For frack's sake I saw BigBang live in concert and I got a better paying job. Sure I can't rant about things from work but I can write about me. Sure I have no lovelife (kuddos to my friends who have by the way) and no other thing to do after work but watch dvds and read but that doesn't mean my fingers have to stop touching my Eros just because nothing is happening in my life and I have no internet connection. Andoy is right, I need to change my genre. I do love my romance novels and I do love happy endings because I am a gaddem hopeless romantic but that doesn't mean I have to just write that, or read it for that matter. I could write about life, I could write about adventures and perhaps if I am not so effin chicken, I could possibly ride another plane to another place and have another adventure. I may or may not do it alone. But one thing is for sure, I am taking on Andoy's advice and putting the 2 years as my window to run my ass off *literally* and make sure that I have enough money for food and souveniers when I go on my second Bora trip. I told Reina, lady who bought me tickets to this first trip on our last moonlit conversation on our last night on this trip that I want to go back to Boracay with a boyfriend (however long that may take me to accomplish the boyfriend ready and Bora-ready body I plan to follow through with it). This trip was for lack of a better term EPIC in so many ways. For one thing, I didn't take home a boy after slut dancing my way into the New Year ( yey retired slutty me). Regardless of how Andoy and his cards said completion comes from a union and that I should stop defying my fate, I still don't want to meet Mr. Right at a bar while I dance to charge up because of my soul-less year. There are nights in Elbi when we did the girls' night out to dance and be just out of control, that was one of those nights. Fully charged and Epic-ly happy to be with my soulmates, who despite not really being sure what to make of me and being founding members of ALPHA NINYA RHOT have told me that one thing that made me feel good about my shady past, that we would have never have survived Elbi without each other. They phrased it a bit differently but I heard it like that because I know that I would have remained the bitch that I was in high school who did not know an iota about fashion or make-up if it was not for them. I would have become a lesbian if not for them, I think. And that would have never have satisfied my oral fixation. They put up with my oral diarrhea and we have profound conversations, debates even about how screwed up we were before. We are honest enough to tell each other that we are not doing good and that regardless of how much advice we give each other, the only thing we actually do take away from the experience is the knowledge that someone heard us say the deepest darkest and hardest truths about ourselves that our family would never understand or know and that we don't always want our better half to worry about and that our inner voices don't even want to echo. On that trip to Bora, I overcame my fear of saying that I am afraid to love again and I know that my friends, selective listeners they may be to all my oral diarhea heard it. They can't offer me advice on it except that I have to live my life and deal with things on a daily basis and to make sure to put my heart back in however hairy it may seem to be now. I know I wanted to write down all the details of our trip before I loose the timeline in my head, I did try to put my thoughts on paper (on the notebook Fried gave me) but I just want to get the emo side of things out of the way so that the good times can keep rolling.

So there I said it, I had my first new year away from home and perhaps it's something that needs to be done more often. Christmas, I would probably never miss, unless I can't really make it. But maybe the new year needs to be greeted with an epic party every time. Perhaps my first years as an adult was so shitty I needed that kind of party to recharge me. And maybe just maybe I need to do something like this every year. Who knows? I just might be entering a different era of Nina. Spunky is part of my past, I can't be in the same weightclass as her anymore let alone cup-size but maybe I need to get a new me bitchslap old me and tell her, “Your reign is over chicken-shit, time for Simone to take over, baby!” That or I just need to go save up for my next major vacation and make sure to bring a camera on that one and a phone with internet connection.

**pictures to follow**


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