Written: 01242013
I walked from Netquad to Net
Plaza to check if the 7-11s near my building had the January issue of
Cosmopolitan (I had all 11 of the 12 issues of 2012 [I missed
February but I hope to find a copy of it one of these days]some with
my friend A who needs the pages more than I do and others around my
tiny room read and waiting for airing and re-posting – plan to get
all the Cosmo Commandments pages together – my new Favorite part of
Cosmo) but I could not find ANY! One store only got TWO copies and
some faster ladies got to them before I could afford my own copy. I
had been saying hi to Taylor Swift since the first day she was at the
7-11 near my building and I thought I had lost my chance to get a
copy. I was the 24th after all and I was afraid that
copies would run out and I would not be able to start my new yearly
resolution, one cosmo a month. If they printed two in a month I would
probably augment that. It's 125 pesos of nods, burst of laughter and
tips to no end. I may not be the make-up, high-heeled shoes and white
pants wearing kind of woman but I was still, in my head, as feminine
as the next girl. It reaaaally just doesn't show. I don't really like
being fashionable, I prefer to be comfortable. But I know
fashionistas, I have friends who love it, worshiped it and somehow
made their own version of comforshion. When they needed to dress it
up they could and when they could rock colorful scarf at the beach
they could. Sorry, getting to into the content, let's go back to the
journey, I took the Fort bus, albeit disheartened that I may not find
a copy of my own when I decided to walk to Glorietta to the new
National Bookstore they had. I had liked the convenience of that
store being in G5 before but now I think the new NB is nicer. But
silly spazz that I was I had forgotten that my dear TS was on the
cover and I had overlooked Cosmo at the magazine shelves. It took one
nice NB lady to get my the “where were you looking?” face and a
TS on the cover pink Cosmopolitan to get me to calm down. I decided
that Fun Fearless Female me needed to take my Cosmo home to read it.
At this point I had not read it cover to cover. I had flipped through
the articles and zoned in on some thing. I had always loved the
Confessions part, the cover story article and COSMO UPFRONT THE HOT
DEBATE. The question always made me choose one side and I lurved the
question for this month! Can you CHANGE a man? I immediately said,
“HELL NO!” That's just because I believe people do not change.
They adjust. But who they are what they are ultimately wins in the
end. So if you try to change a man whether he is willing or not, it's
going to end up making one or both of you miserable. I read the yes
part first, being that I love discourse and the lady made a pretty
decent point. But I almost shrieked out when I saw the name of the
girl who said NO, the lady of my own mind! She is Carissa Nanagas! It
said teacher under her name and I was shell-shocked. I used to work
with her in my first Korean company! Flashbacks of break room chatter
and her personality flooded me. I loved her answer, no pun intended
to the YES lady but I loved the example that she had. Because I was
there (I think) when she was dating Mr. Guy you can't change. I am so
happy that a wonderful and beautiful woman like her found her Mr.
Man. That is when I knew that I broke the Cosmo sixth degrees of
separation. Someone I actually talked to as a person as me and for
all intensive purposes I did not become frenimies with was on cosmo.
COSMO LADIES!!! She's a cosmo girl through and through, she has her
unique love for fashion, she can be comfashyon one minute and in the
next strutting her stuff with her “gal” and gurl friends in a
rocking Christmas party. I always thought she is pretty inside and
out. She didn't need to be mean to be more confident about herself
and although she had her own struggles, she didn't disregard that
friends and family are important support systems to get her to be a
go-getter. No, we are not super close friends but I know this about
her because you just can't help but observe this about her. Sure she
may not be perfect but perfection once you become obsessed with it
can actually destroy whatever it was that made you wonderful and
unique in the first place. I hoped for a lot of things for the people
I met in the past whom I find to be wonderful and colorful people and
I have her in that list. I am sure she is showing her students and
her loved ones that time does make a woman more beautiful and wiser.
I am glad I walked to NB to
get this copy. It made the stress from work melt away and I know that
the recharging that I made in Boracay with my friends would not last
for 12 months. But a monthly dose of Cosmo might just make sure it
does.
Oh and the PERFECT KA TEH?
made me laugh. I realized that I really am a bitch and I am not even
aware of it. Then I read something that hit, something about if you
say something that is mean or feel bad about something that someone
posted on FB maybe it's because the person who posted it has
something that you wanted. That is so true. I own up to that. Now I
have two facebook accounts. Please FB don't delete one, both are me
and are essential to me. The Pinaywriter one would include everyone
whoever may add me and are TOPpers/blog
readers/gamers/friends/frienimies/officemates/relations/exes/future
exes T_T and all the other people who want to be friends with me on
facebook then why the hell not add them? But I would be slowly
stripping my Pinaywriter blog of things that are Nina. Pictures of me
and my family or my co-workers may stay. But most of the new me and
the new things would be in another place. If I don't add you on the
new FB don't get pissed off. I have a limited number of slots to fill
and I don't plan to flood it too much. No fanpage likes on my feed,
no memes and nothing but my close friends and people I want to
facebook stalk (oops) would be there. It's more like one I have as
blogger and as a writer and the other is where the NINYA ready people
are. Those who won't bug me or get made when I speak my mind. It's my
zone. Just like how this blog is. Mine. And if I say something it's
what I want to say and I would not apologize for it.
Why? Because I never asked
you to read beyond the first sentence. Feel free to comment no need
to troll.
COSMO COMMANDMENT 19 rules
to living the Cosmo Life Fave for January 2013: LEARN TO LOVE YOUR
QUIRKS... and BE THE BOSS OF YOU!
Taking control of your life,
well me taking control of my life and embracing my 2013 power word
BALANCE would take all the time that I can possibly give it. So far I
have 4 accounts to make up and 100% daily productivity to do so I can
get my first month of the year's prod to 100% and I need to do this
ALL YEAR LONG but more specifically for three months straight. I also
need to be less careless of my decisions because what I do has impact
on customers, real people who do real things who need the things they
might be swiping their card for. May it be the birthday cruise they
are taking with their family or just the medicine they need everyday.
I know they don't know me and my work doesn't save the world or
educate others in philosophy or what not. But I realized that if I do
my job right and not think that it's beneath me or doesn't engage my
skills as much as my old job does, then I can focus on it better. And
if I needed to be creative, I had tons of ways to do it. I had the
novels I needed to edit, BBBS to be more exact and my own unfinished
stories. If I needed to remember what was important and to release my
stress all I had to do was open an open office word document and
type all my frustrations away. Because apparently when I bottle it
up, I spit out bile more often that I should. So in order to dilute it, I must release the poison more often.
I saw this book in NB that
had names and their meanings on it. I took a picture of it so I can
look for it and purchase it when I had the money. I LOVE my name now.
NINA and RITA have awesome meanings. Apparently they are very cool
names! I want to buy it so that when my friends who want to think of
baby names ask me for advise I can help and we can even find out what
our names mean! Sure it might not have all the names in the world,
but I still want it! IF anyone would want to gimme a birthday gift,
this is on my list, thank you very much.
My legs are cramping up. I
don't have a writing table in my room. *mental note : include in
Birthday wish list & make Birthday Wish list blog* Eros is
resting on my pillows and is wobbly while I am typing away. I want to
do this as often as I can, write. I know that nothing really happens
in my life right now so I think that is a really big reason why I
want to do something, to make things happen. This year started with
friends and I realized that isolating myself like I did in the past
made me bitter, envious and mean. I also lost touch of the real me
trying to be a more mature version of me at work but ending up not
embracing the change that I forced myself to make. I would not
compare my work now to the work that made me happy but unable to
afford a cosmo mag a month, really it was that bad. I would walk with
confidence and try to put more motion in my life so I can get my
blood flowing again. I think it's great that I am force to walk in
Makati, with it's underpasses and what not. Because I get to observe
people and absorb small things about them. I need that to feed the
writer in my and to feel like I am not just another ant following the
same sent ant toiling away every day. Having goals at work (not just
to not get fired) fires me up and although I don't know all the names
of the people in my team, having them be less toxic towards me helps
me get a lot more work done. I liked people in my old team, some more
than others because they all filled an archetype (no I am not going
to get into that Code of Conduct and all that). But I know that this
year I want to be more balanced and try not to be too open to
strangers and too secluded from my friends. It's a lucky thing that
we got wifi at my house. I can go home and share meals with my family
and sleep in my home. It recharges me. The goal is to have a pillow
that is all mine at home and not share it. Since I moved to Makati I
have not had a pillow that was mine in our home, my sister had one
because she lives there, my parents too. But for my and my brothers
who live in the city and in LB we don't. Like being transients.
I think that for now, since
I don't have someone to spend weekends with, I would just have to
clean up my forgotten PW facebook and transfer all my only
documentation to my Sam facebook, unclutter my blog and clean my room
as often as I can. I want to get my own wifi but I am thinking that I
would not get enough sleep. So for now, from a cavewoman of 2012, I
might as well be a weekend blogger and a semi-lurker in facebook.
Five out of my 23 things to
do on January have been cleared off. And it's almost February. I need
to get things out of the way and cleared off my list before too many
more things take their place. I missed Maribel's wedding but I hope I
can meet up with her husband Vince and her one of these days. I have
two things to look forward to, a call that would make the fangirl in
me shriek and meeting my friend's guy and wishing them a happy life
together. But I am sure that if not this year then the next, I won't
be afraid to complete myself in a union anymore.
A new friend said that I had
made so many bad choices that led me away to the right kind of man
for me. COSMO affirmed him, "You're attracted to bad boys, but
this year, you'll meet a few funny, nice dudes who'll cause you to
reconsider your type."
And as for the life part:
Friends will play a major role this year. Some will inspire you to
try new things . (HELLO FLYING TO BORACAY, ring any bells), while
other will help you power through bad times. *special holler to Don
and Ysac on that part so early this year*
As for work, I should
befriend my officemates to make the workplace feel better. For this I
plan to be a little bit more careful. Some people already think that
I am easy to bully or that I am okay with puns. I don't want to be
too Ninya at work because there are just so many who are not
NINYA-uptrained so to speak. And despite the mask that was 2012, I
have to just make sure I don't give my boss grief, solve as many
customer needs as I can and make the numbers add up the way that they
should. If all else fails, I can always draw THE FOOL card and I can
begin anew.
2013 is not meant to be
perfect or to have lists cleared off but for me to find the BALANCE
of things that I can control and the things that are just meant to
be. As per my otherworldly knowledgable friends say, If you fight
against what is your fate or your destiny, you loose your way. If you
want to have a better life, you have to make better choices.
So next time I meet a nice
guy I won't consider him because he's the anti-thesis but I would
examine my crush and the realms of possibility for happiness. But for
sure, this time, I would not settle for anything less than
completion.
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