Friday, January 18, 2013

From Blackout to Balance : 2012 to 2013

When I had a diary the entries always end just before I start doing something significant or experience a change. Live your life and stop writing about what you want to do about it. That was 2012. And boy did a lot of sh*t go down. Bullet points.

I went to Bora in December. In a word? Epic.

I missed Mea's wedding and was early to the reception. In a word? Gesh!

I wore a mahogany/brown dress at a multi-national wedding aka Makis and Gui's wedding. In a word? Finally!

I got into Cbank. For future references I shall not name my company anymore. In a word? CoC.

I didn't get to blog about any of the people who passed away, RIP W. Sayaw ka na lang sa langit. I am not even aware of the other people who might have passed on, gotten married or broke up.

I didn't get to blog about the things that were happening to friends, my frienimies and the people that I have added on my Sycor list (people I would meet up with in that downunder area where very naughty people go when they leave this world). But that is about to change.

I didn't get to write more than 1,000 words for Nanowrimo.

I didn't even get to write another paragraph on the novels I was supposed to write.

I didn't get to tweet anything significant. I am sure my plurk karma is now ziltch. Since my phone is fake I can't instafrakingram a single pictures.

But as I walked among the people who posted their every burp, tweeted their every fart and filtered their every picture to get likes, comments or just throw their seemingly insignificant lives into the world wide web, I realized not having a TV, not knowing there is now a real Madame President in South Korea, not having time to go online to comment and post made me so stressed out that I reverted back into my old cavewoman mode. I am indeed a social addiction who has a hidden loner inside.

But it made me realize that I love to write, I need to know what is happening in people's lives and I want to like, post and my soul needs connection, online or otherwise.

I was told that I was going against my destiny or my so called fate. And that my completion will come in a union. But that I also need to be able to work out my need to cling on to the past and the relationships that make me go slower or stay still.

I want balance in my 2013. Balance my scorecard. Balance my weight. Balance my balance sheet for my expenses, in a matter of speaking. Balance my heart. And last but not the least, balance the amount of soul sucking stress I allow in my life and the flow of the soul-feeding activities that would make sure I don't scowl at work despite my daily grind.

And maybe just maybe there would be a union to complete me.  


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