I am glad that I have Ico in my life more now than ever before. He saved me from myself. I was delivered from the impending doom that would befall me if the past comes back to haunt me. True enough it was the other guy who unshackled me when he revealed the most awful truth, that no matter what, he was not the man that I thought he was. That I was in love, pinning for and believed a big fat lie.
Now I am embracing the truth. Sure it's freaking irritating half of the time, but the alternative turns my stomach.
Yes, I am judgmental. I am judging myself most of all. Because I knew that I was making excuses for the things that he could not give me but I desperately wanted. I had always wanted peace of mind. I want that in my relationship because I am already an out of control person. I tend to be very moody and hard to handle. It's a Gemini thing.
I match well with Arieses since they can mellow me down. But I find them too, for lack of a better term, emo for my taste. Now I get along with Geminis but that is if we are the same side of the twin. That is why my bestie is called "Kambal" because he is a Gemini too.
I am dating a Gemini. I am the flirty, immature side. He tends to be the flighty, immature side too that is struggling to be the opposite of himself. I know that this would be a relationship that would have a lot of highs, devastating clashes and lows.
But I am not worried about whether I will love him less because of the things that would happen. I am the kind of person who thinks love is like good wine. It will get better with age and with more time.
But I am grateful. God somehow is sending me a clear message. It's between us, this divine joke that I picked up on. He always tends to give me the opposite of what I ask for. And He likes to give me lessons using people as his tools.
I think I learned my lessons well from the past. I am not about to make the same mistakes to feel the rush that I felt in the past. Because I am all about new experiences. This time I want to experience a normal state of happiness. *rolls eyes* Besides, I am already an adventure. I don't have to play with fire to know that I am capable of fireworks.
*Note to trolls and people who have an opposite opinion: Deal with it. Read the title. If you don't know what that means, Google it.
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