Friday, August 12, 2011

Caution : Open Emergency Sunshine Pack

Sometimes there are days when it's not just like the gods are crapping on you or the universe is retrograding, there are days when you feel like your happy thoughts reserve is on the red and it's only the 12th day of the worst month of an overly crappy year.

This is one of those days. My wonderful August has been plagued with happy thoughts depleting events. It started with the combo shot on August 2. My grandfather died and I made an asinine remark on something that pissed someone I care about like family.

I was 33 minutes late the very next day. Crap. Entirely my fault.

Then every day after that had been either a drag, people kept asking me why I gained a lot of weight (during the lamay) and I had to brush it all off whilst I was losing my incentive and two days worth of pay. (doesn't matter it's for my lolo naman).

System failures, personal fails and the gloom of losing an important part of your life coupled with not seeing my boyfriend for a while because we are super busy during the weekend and he is slammed in school. Not to mention the mad decision I made that kept me bogged down during the evening with only enough time to sleep three hours every day for almost a couple of months now. (Unfortunately, I didn't stop doing it until it was too late and I had lost chances to make memories with people whom I care about greatly and disappointed. What was I thinking, try to be an overworking drone when I know I strive better under petiks mode?) *wipes face with hands in frustration* So despite what people say and assume I would rather go back to extreme poverty than let go of my afternoons. I will devout them to jogging at least an hour at the Ayala triangle when it's not raining, writing my standalone novels, editing the TOP novels and last but not the least, getting the right amount of sleep. And when Ne Sarang is already free to frolic, we can have titigan dates or he can run with moi.

I need my life back. I think I am becoming an insensitive, overbearing, arrogant prick to people because I thought I needed more money to be happier. Turns out, I am still me and I am unhappy when I don't get enough sleep.

There is much to learn. I am twenty-six. I hope there is still time.

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