No. This is not a eulogy. I refuse to write one hence I would accept that it's time to let him go.
My mom is not the kind to give up. But since she is a very practical lady, she asked my brothers and I to come home during the weekend to see and stay by our grandfather's side.
He was looking for us, you see. I plan to go home this weekend again, not just to bring my laundry but to try to stay with him during the day. I can't stay overnight since I am awake more hours than I want to be during the weekdays.
He is slipping, everyone knows it. I don't regard taking care of him as a living funeral but a procession of love.
The hardest thing for those who are taking care of a person who can barely breathe is that even if they wanted to make him feel better by making him laugh (my family is notorious clowns so we do this to keep our spirits up) it taxes him to do that, so that cloud adds to the fact that we have lived all our lives believing my grandfather was infallible.
He is awake at 4 a.m. and delivering newspapers by 5. He is more hardworking than all his children combined. He is in the city history book, on his bike. An icon of the past and a motivation for the future generation.
He has a lot of rough edges but we love him immensely for exactly who he is. He has close friends he drinks with almost everyday and I remember forming my first political opinion because they talk about it all the time, outside my house's window on their nightly drinking session.
That is his poison, gin and cigarettes. He got the best of it for many years. And they are now extracting their vengeance.
I know I have to quit smoking or my mother would kick me in the neck if she ever sees me smoking. My brother is thinking of getting an e-cigarette. I on the other hand, do not want an even more expensive addiction.
Still. I know my grandfather is well-loved. And we are going to show it to the very end.
I wonder if there would be people who would be there for me when I am his age. I hope so.
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ReplyDeletereaԁing somе of the comments οn "Seasons of Love : How Love can make 80+ years worthwhile".
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