Shattered Shutter

This whole shit is going to gain me a lot of enemies. They think that the reason why I am bugging them is because I don't care if they are sick or not or that they don't have any classes. It's not as if I have any time to eat because of this whole thing. It takes a lot of time to do every thing that has to be done be and I have to be rude and made enemies to make this work. And of course the equipment is good but there are always things that are forgotten and left behind. I am already in pain as it is and I can't handle to babysit and accomodate all of their shit right now. They know that I love them to bits and I won't be freaking doing any of this if I didn't really want this thing to come out okay and so they have other things to be proud of as a part of our group. But what I am having a real problem is time. And how people handle theirs and how I handle mine. There are so many things that need to be happening at the same time and saying "later" is really not an option for now. And of course I have to take the butt of the whole thing since I was stupid enough to try to start things up. Organizing people is not my thing. I am used to people who are told to get up and move their as well as do what they are told. That is the way the theater world works. That was my world even just for a little bit. The primadonnas are not allowed to rule that world. They find themselves with less and less plays to play in and less significant roles unless they are true geniuses so much so that people ignore their attitude. But it takes time to give instructions, it takes time to do things. And I can't really bring my laptop all the time because it makes my wound bleed when I walk with a heavy load. So if I am rude and I give them grief and they don't forgive me for it. Then so be it. But this is the last time I am going to head anything, any project for any group ever. This would probably be true since I have plans to bid this industry adieu.

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I refuse to cry over this because that is the only way for me to let out my frustration. I really really really promise myself that this would be the last time. I will never go through any of this again. I will just be freaking sheep. Freaking silent not even baaing sheep.

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If your movement feels somewhat constricted today, it's only because you are letting yourself be talked out of things by people who don't know you very well. Just because someone has power over one aspect of your life doesn't mean that he or she has power over your entire life! Stop giving control to other people. Go your own way today, and move about your life freely. You don't need anyone to tell you what to do.

Oh well too late.