I am beginning to think that it's possible that I have just sucked up all the luck out of my life. I am unlucky in love and in numbers. Awesome. Just freaking awesome. I am not a pretty rose to begin with. The thorns that I am growing are bound to keep men off me for a very long time. But I don't mind that. It's the fact that I am on a drought, literally since I ran out of water the same day I ran out of money. It's unbelievably dumb of me not to learn how to manage money. No more dieting for now. The fact that I don't have enough money would be enough to make me lose weight. I need to be able to do something about this or I would have to go to my plan sooner than I anticipate.
I need to make sure that the money that I would get on my bonus would be untouched except for the money that I owe my friend. I will make sure I would pay my mom off in 2012. I would have to keep myself from getting too much into getting gifts this Christmas. I need to be smart about it. I might not win the best aunt award this year, but I would not go hungry when I decide to change gears next year or write full-time.
If God ever decides to give my dad the jackpot from all the lottery tickets he buys, then now would be the best time for Him to do that. But either way, I want to pay off my debts to really be independent. I wish so many things for my life. But stability and full independence is the number one in the list. I realize that no man can give me either one and looking for it in other people is probably the dumbest thing that any woman ever did.
I decided to go Chick Lit this Nanowrimo especially because of this. I want to be able to write my own frustration and perhaps shape a little bit of my future so that I can actually get out of this funk. I don't need romance now. What I need is not something that can buy hugs and imaginary forever and ever. I need to provide for myself and get my shit together. I can't bring someone down with me, if I have to be the unfeeling bitch that is in their somewhere in me, it's about time I put her in good news.
Blow off my frustration in my Nanowrimo piece. Edit the hell out of those novels and try to find some way to make a Yobo that Norby can actually draw. I am disappointing myself more than I anticipated. I don't want distractions anymore. I shelved the fanfics that I was writing, and I need to focus my limited energy into doing my job well.
Because I can't afford to focus on projects that don't pay. I would need to kick things into gear. I already have 7,929 words for my piece for Nanowrimo. I think that should be enough to buy me a couple of days to check out My Kimchi Kikay and the next BBBS novel that I need to work on. Since the video for Miss L is not due till next week, I can work on that during the weekend.
Things to finish this week.
- 10,000 words for Nanowrimo
- Add a chapter to My Kimchi Kikay
- Start on BBBS Kriszy 1
- Clean room or at least dust it
- Buy Groceries
- Clean up kitchen
- Pay Alvin
- Do something for leg chismis
- Get rid of the pain in shoulder. - salonpas daw (do not like smell though)