Formatting Reminders Simplified - for T.O.P.pers *revised 052311*

CHAPTER ONE 6

Seoul, South Korea, 2010...
NAKATAYO si Jaime sa may arrival gate nang makita ito ni Yongbae. 1
2"Jaime!" 3sigaw ni Yongbae.
Lumingon siya at nakita ang kumakaway na kasintahan. Kung hindi lang mabigat ang hand-carry niya ay nagawa sana niyang tumakbo at yakapin ito. Pero hindi na kinailangan dahil ito na mismo ang gumawa noon.
Sarap... 4kinikilig siya sa higpit ng yakap at sa mumunting halik na iginagawad nito sa kanyang mukha.
"Anong gusto mong unang gawin?" tanong nito sa kanya nang makalabas na sila ng airport.
"Pwede bang..."nahihiya man siyang sabihin ay tinanong na rin niya, "matulog muna ako?"
Natawa ito sa tinanong niya. "Hindi pwede," bigla nitong sagot. 
"Bakeeeeet?5" eksaherado niyang tanong.
"Unless katabi mo ako, hindi pwedeng matulog." 
"Sabi ko nga eh, 'wag na lang." naiinis niyang ungot.
“Ayaw mo akong katabi?" tila nalulungkot nitong tanong.
“Hindi," ngumuso siya dito sa inis, "rapist ka eh."
"Hoy, ah! Anong akala mo sa akin? Virgin pa ako,noh!"


NAIINIS pa rin si Yongbae sa sinabi ni Jaime kanina. Sana ay hindi na lang nito iyon ginawa.
“Hyung, okay ka lang ba?” tanong ni Daesong sa kanya.

1. Ang UNANG SALITA sa inyong chapter/bagong scene/change of Point of View or POV ay dapat na BOLD at ALL CAPS.

2. Dapat naka-indent ang mga sumunod na parts ng scene na un, dialogue man siya or naration. 
*kapag inyong kinopya sa TOP.com ay hindi lalabas ang indent pero mas magaling na masanay na tayo dahil sa publishing house dapat ganun ang format. 

3. Dapat ay maliit ang unang letra ng salitang susunod sa "dialogue"

4. Ang mga "mental dialogue" ay dapat na naka italics.

5. WAG GUMAMIT NG ?! sa panulat. Mamili kung ito ay tanong or hindi. Kung ito ay isang tanong use ? kung ito ay sumisigaw lang use ! (ang gagamit nito ay papakainin ko ng mga punctuation marks)

6. BOLD and ALL CAPS ang CHAPTER NUMBER

7. Para sa mga text messages gumamit ng ganitong format 'text message' Use regular words. I-bold or gawin italics ito kung diary entry or message o note
   
   'Are you home?' Napangiti ako kasi kakahiwalay lang namin ay nag-text na agad ito.

8. Ang .. walang ibig sabihin sa panulat. Gumamit ng ellipsis ... ng maayos. 

9. Remember na ipabasa muna sa at least two friends ang kwento bago ipasa ang novel. Sa totoong publication me reader one and two bago pa ang editor.

10. Tandaan na 10 chapters of 10-12 chapters lang dapat.

2,500 words per chapter = 25,000 words (maximum)
2,400 words per chapter = 24,000 words (minimum)
Check out the word count rule sa TOP Tutorial : Writing Workshop 

11. TIMES NEW ROMAN 12 double spaced one inch margin = for novel submission 

This is to help form uniformity. Sundin na lang natin ang mainstream format para masanay tayo. At para in the future ay makapagpublish man kayo sa pub house, hindi mauubos ang buhok ng editor nyo. Basic lang ito at base sa rules ng isang pub haus.

Magbasa ng iba pang advice sa paggamit ng mga bagay bagay sa wikang English at Filipino. Ito ay isang compressed version lang. ^_^

At please, wag na wag kayong magagalit o maiinis sa editor in secret. Send me a hate mail anytime you need to say something. Wag matakot magsabi ng totoong nararamdaman. Para walang gulo.

All the revisions are made for the improvement of your novel. Learn from it. Don't pout and say na ayaw ninyong magpa-edit. Hindi yan ang kalakaran ng totoong buhay. We have a standard to follow. Here in T.O.P. bawal ang feeling nila wala na silang kamalian sa katawan. We are a family and family help each other kahit masakit tanggapin minsan.

~ Epal in Chief Pinay

Pinaywriter in Blog Engage

I just added my blog to BLOG ENGAGE.

I will look around and check how effective it is. It's fun to be a newb. So much to learn. So little time.

The third in bad luck streak

She has no idea that my day was bad. I don't really know why Mondays have been kicking me in the tush these days. I am this close to going Garfield on Mondays! It is not unusual for friends to ask me to buffer for them. But since I didn't have enough coinage to buy her a gift I said yes to an afternoon of sheer discomfort. This is something that I would only do for a handful of women. And thank God for that. Because I know for sure that I would either be eerily quiet or lash out on Wednesday.

No, I don't care if I am an ugly fat ass when I see them again. But if they ever say something about it, then I would conjure the worst possible curse in my head and make sure to put them on my MALUK list. (I would not need to explain this list. It's a secret list.) I for the life of me don't know how these two asswipes can even consider showing their faces to my friend. And the only reason why I am planning to go is because I would never let my friend be amongst wolves without me there to shoot them (at the very least, dirty looks. We all know how painful my tactfulness can be so I will have to leash my evil in.)

I caught the other one on-line and I know I have gone a long way from my old blurter self because I was able to entice her but not reveal who I would be meeting tomorrow. (Unless they meet their untimely death on the way to QC.) If she knew I know for a fact that she would flip out. And in her present birthday blues condition, it is not acceptable for her to know until I actually experience being in the same place with an ex flame and another deplorable human being.

But I am sure as the sun rises and sets that she would read this blog. And I pray she misses all the basic cues I have given. But this is my blog. And I will rant here as I see fit.

Come back again tomorrow for my hell-raising blog. I am sure you would love the implied curses there. ^_^

Gotta go for now.

Pink for BAD LUCK

Guess what color panties I am wearing.
No, I am not seducing you. It's just every time I wear pink undies, bad voodoo comes a-knocking.
The bus I rode had only one other passenger so from Aegis to Ortigas it kept slowing down at bus stops. T_T And if that wasn't enough, the stupid driver apparently over took another bus (and loudly said he didn't notice it) that caused the other dumb ass driver to get cramped into the side of the overpass (a bit) enough to damage his bus' side mirror. I was jolted awake when that bus stopped us. I really thought there was an actual collision. The ticket guy from the other bus was demanding money and an apology ( I think ).  I guess it was the jolting awake part that made me mumble that they should just exchange numbers and let the owners fix it.
We all knew that it would get fixed, them haggling over how much it would cost made me want to throw things at them. T_T I was like this is my  head, "Shut up and just drive through that damn bus!" But of course this as not a Harry Potter movie and my bus is in the same plane as the other bus. T_T

Luckily, they agreed on 150 from the original 100 that was offered. (facepalm) All that for 50 pesos?

My cloud hit a cashier at Jolibee. I had asked to get the Ateneo tumbler thinking the burger meal that came with it required no waiting time. But it turns out that the stupid fries were still unavailable. I said "Just give me what is available, I am not eating it anyway." True enough, those fries now lay inside the green trash bin near our pantry.

I am waiting for the third boo-boo of the day. After all, they always come in threes, right?

++++

I am reading something right now, as per the recommendation of a couple of TOPpers.

It's Love Monster. 

I want to find the manga version of the live action that I am watching nowadays (and downloading) Samurai High School.

I was so into it that I actually made a simple kimono of the new doll I bought for one of my nieces.

Which reminds me, I need to recreate THREADS AND GLITTERS...hmm. Maybe tomorrow. (I did it today, presenting Threads, Glitters and Glue )

As for today, I finished putting entrecards, blog listings and banners on this blog and with my new money-making for charity blog, WILL WRITE FOR GILS.
I had to make some hasty blog entries there since it's necessary for the approval for entrecard.

I sucessfully downloaded the e-book that  I bought from T.O.P. and I will be posting my review of that as soon as I am done.
But with 24 students, a very cluttered room, comic pages and posters to make and clothes to wash, I don't know how I would ever find the time to do it.

Ugh.

HOW TO REACH THE EPAL IN CHIEF

TUWING UMAGA LUNES HANGGANG BIYERNES  nasa Plurk ako

*Gumawa ng plurk membership sa pamamagitan ng pag-click dito 

Dadalhin ka nito sa plurk.com
Isa itong parang shoutout social site kung saan ang dami ng iyong mga pinopost ay nagiging karma rate mo.
Ang maganda dito ay hindi agad nabubura ang iyong nais na ipadalang mensahe at ang ibang tao ay maaaring makapagkumento sa iyo.
Higit sa lahat hindi ito ganoon kasikat na ito ay naboblock sa ibang mga computer. (pero kung adik ang IT nyo ay malamang na blocked din ito.)

Meron itong timeline. Gumagana ito kahit sa Linux na OS.

Ang mahalaga dito ay maaari rin ninyong isa pribado ang mensahe.
Sa ganoong paraan ay ako lamang ang makakakita nito.

Maaaring magupload ng mga larawan, kanta bidyo at links sa mga sharing sites dito.
Mas may pagkkasunod sunod ang usapan sa ganitong paraan.

Maisipan nyo sanang sumali dahil madalas ay hindi ako nakakapagcheck ng akin gmail at yahoo (blocked sa office) pero sa plurk ay madali ko itong nasisilip kahit busy ako.
So please make a plurk account. Para na rin kayong nagtetext kasi 160 lng parang twitter pero hindi kashit cluttered.

You can also email me at my gmail account pinaywritertop@gmail.com. Para sa mga writers hindi maaaring magsend sa akin ng official na entry, ang mga editor ang gagawa nito para sa inyo pagkatapos nilang icheck ang inyong sinulat. Pagkatapos nilang mabasa ang inyong ginawa at naisaayos na ang mga corrections saka ito ipapadala ng editor sa akin.

Kahit na nakapasa ka na sa editor maaari pa ring bumalik ang aklat sa inyo for final revisions.
Ang pinakakonteng revesion ay dalawa.

*Pasensya na kung me typo nakakatulog ako habang nagtatype nito....

Appalled Daddy's Girl

Appalled Daddy's Girl

by Pinaywriter

There are not enough words that can explain just how unbelievably angry I was after I read this article. I can't believe any father would do this to their daughter. The most awful thing was that the mom left to work for HK to help the family.

Only an insane person would molest his daughter everyday, forcing her to do unthinkable things to him even when she had her period.

14,400 years is not enough for this man. It's just not enough. There is no justification, no kind of mental disease that can cover up for a rapist who does this to his own kid. I mean, seriously, how fucked up can you be to do something like this? How freaking much?

This is the kind of father that I fear to meet, a man who appears to love me but would lay siege on what I hold so dear. And if I had a daughter, I would, like this girl's mom, come home as soon as I learn about it and make sure justice is served. Not all mothers would do this for the shame that it would bring to one's family. Believe me I have heard of stories of mothers who didn't even bat an eyelash when this happened to their kid.

And this isn't just a telenovela as that anyone might think it is.

This actually happened. To a real person. To a real woman.

Tears won't even begin to fall for something like this. Tears won't be enough. Prayers are something we can offer for her family but we can also offer vigilance. We can make sure we keep an eye on all the daughters of the land, all over the world.

Someone once said that if you are getting raped in the city, you scream fire because no one is going to come and save you if you screamed RAPE. That shouldn't be the case here. Women everywhere should not be afraid, most especially not when they are at home with their fathers.

Heat + Oats archive

Sep 24, 2010 (2 days ago)

Heat + Oats

by Pinaywriter

I bought the heater. The oatmeal drinks and oatmeal that I would drink and eat will follow. I just need to start liking it.

Do you guys have any suggestions as to how I would not feel like an old person with a heart condition?

Feel free to give me your suggestions. ^_^

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archive A Dream of Reality

Sep 23, 2010 (3 days ago)

A Dream of Reality

by Pinaywriter

Isn't it odd that when we learn to accept things it never quite registers in our subconscious. Well following my previous blog my subconscious told me one thing that was very clear, crystal even. I am definitely and undeniably over you. Why? I dreamt about you and her. Yes, I haven't seen her in real life. But I saw her picture once in your wallet, remember. That knocked the wind out of me actually. Then you replaced her picture with mine. But I knew the picture was there. You told me you removed it. Somehow in my head I knew she would always be there. The same way my dad kept his picture of my mom when she was still a maiden of hotness.

Anyway, in my dream I was in some kind of mall. And I saw you. The weird thing was that in the beginning you were shirtless. I know what that means, no dream dictionary needed there. But I didn't feel that usual kick in the guts arousal that comes from seeing you without your shirt on. It was the regular kind, like when I see Derek Ramsey's abs.

I greeted you and you wore a shirt finally and walked with me. I asked you who you were with. I teased a bit and even gave you a peck on the cheek. It wasn't naughty or sexual it was more like the kind one give's in a beso-beso. Someone was calling you from behind. I saw this short, slighty obese woman with long hair and baduy top and skirt calling for you. I think this is the classic mom with two kids look. So I knew she would be hot in real life if my head was putting her image together like this. I know I am over you but I can't control my mind's malevolence.

I knew it was her. I said goodbye and walked away. You didn't move towards her or towards me. You stood there and watched me walk away while she walked towards you. I felt like my dream was being way too dramatic. I began to urge my mind to wake up. I wanted that dream to have that as an ending. But it didn't end.

I was at the foodcourt area when I saw the two of you. I smiled and faced her with all the normalcy that I could muster. She smiled and seemed friendly. I told her that I was Anthony's ex-girlfriend's friend. I didn't exactly know why I used him as an excuse but she had that glint in her eyes that were measuring if I was one of your many women. I wanted her to not be bothered that day and I didn't want to cause a scene so I said that. I remember not sitting or joining you. I feigned the need to go ahead since I still had a lot to buy.

I said my goodbyes and walked away. I saw myself walk away and saw her face you and ask you something. You faced her to explain something. She didn't look so happy with what you said.

The odd thing was, I didn't care.

I am sorry. That must've hurt to read, but I guess whether or not you'll get back together with her, I don't care. My life that had you as its center is over, that chapter has been written, revisited, revised, and buried.

I have a new chapter to write. Clean sheet of paper. New ink. New leading man, perhaps? I hope so. And different plot points as well as an ending that has me in the arms of a man of my very own, most assuredly.

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archive I'm not a Princess, this ain't a fairy tale...

Sep 22, 2010 (4 days ago)

I'm not a Princess, this ain't a fairy tale...

by Pinaywriter

Last night I talked to my friend G, he told me that he was with Mark for seven days. I didn't really get it though. Maybe it was that he was working where G was working or whatever. G said that Mark was there at his place or something. Mark even barged into our conversations. ^_^ I teased him to sod off and other weird me ways of ignoring people but G was always trying to start up a topic about Mark. I guess that he would be the kind who would simply revert back to the original thing we have in common than actually talk about other shit. This person doesn't realize that my offer of friendship now surpasses the fact that I was grateful that he thought I would get back with Mark. I am actually being his friend. I am free of him now, Mark that is, and our conversations can and should include things that are not related to the man. I guess Mark still didn't like it that I talk to G about everything about my life. He still thinks that he's a part of my life. Sure, he is, but as my friend who works in another country. I am honestly closer to my gay friends than I am with the straight ones. Maybe because the gay ones are less chauvunistic than they are. I think that's it.

I also caught Louie. I was shocked when I saw his old YM tag. It seriously gave me a fright. I had been getting those dumb spammers on my YM so I had either been offline or busy on my status. He told me that he was in speaking terms with his ex. I was wondering why they were. In my case I don't talk to my exes if I still feel like getting back together with them. I don't want him to get pressured into getting back with anyone. He said he still didn't like the other guy because he was too emotional. I think I like Louie before because we had the same policy regarding feelings and mushiness, keep it in private quarters. Or maybe we are just random sociopaths with no hearts, who knows for real.

Having said that I posted my White Princess dress in THREADS AND GLITTER, ergo the title.

Girls dreamt of being a princess when they were little, I dreamt of slaying dragons. ^_^ I guess that makes me weird, huh?

I have a lot on my plate today, the draft I was sent was horrid. I need to rewrite the whole thing, I think. I hate editing things that I think are not well thoughout. But then again, I am just procrastinating. I should keep reading. ^_^

I just hope that any of these doesn't interfere with Yo,Bo! So tomorrow I am definitely going to make the comics. T_T,

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archive Sept 22, 2010

Sep 22, 2010 (4 days ago)

Three guesses why this was blocked over there

by Pinaywriter

MANILA, Philippines - Actress-TV host Mariel Rodriguez said she will marry action star Robin Padilla again in Catholic wedding rites.

In an interview with "Showbiz News Ngayon" (SNN), Rodriguez, who already married Padilla last month in India, announced they will have their second marriage in the country for their families and friends.

"Yes, of course, we are going to invite everyone in the Catholic blessing. That's why we always say na when the right time comes, we will talk," said Rodriguez who cleared that she's still a Catholic.

"Sa Islam naman, there's no compulsion. Walang sapilitan," she said.

On Tuesday night, in an interview with Tina Monzon Palma on ANC's "The World Tonight", Padilla admitted that he married Rodriguez.

He made the revelation a day after his son Ali went back to his mother in Australia last Monday.

Rodriguez said they decided to keep their silence on the real status of their relationship because they felt it's not the right time yet.

"Kasi nga the reason why we came back from India was because we have to fix stuff with Ali. And since Ali left yesterday, ngayon pwede ng pag-usapan at pwede ng i-clarify. Kasi from the time we came back until yesterday it's all about Ali," Rodriguez said.

She added that now that she's married to Padilla, she's the happiest woman in the world.

"Ako ang pinakamasayang tao sa buong mundo ngayon," she said.

The marriage

In an interview with SNN, Rodriguez said she and Padilla married in Agra, India.

"Yes, we've been married for one month. We got married last August 19 in India, sa Taj Majal. There's a mosque in Taj Mahal," she said.

The actress said the ceremony was called "nikah," a matrimonial ceremony between the bride, the groom and Allah.

"It's between Robin, me, and God. It's a Muslim rite," Rodriguez said.

She shared that she had mixed emotions during the ceremony as it was a dream come true for her to get married in India.

"I was really...It was mixed emotions. I couldn't believe that I was there because Robin and I had been wanting to go to Taj Mahal. It was actually a start of a dream to get married there so we couldn't believe na it's happening talaga," she said.

The host-actress said that after the ceremony she immediately told her sister about it.

Rodriguez shared that the October issue of "StarStudio" magazine will feature their whole India trip and what happened during their wedding.

Robin says sorry to Abunda

On SNN, Padilla apologized to Rodriguez's talent manager and the show's host Boy Abunda for what happened.

"Bago ang lahat, Tito Boy, kanina pa ako humihingi ng pasensiya sa nangyaring tanan," Padilla said.

Abunda replied that he has nothing against it as long as his ward is happy.

Aside from Abunda, Padilla apologized to his wife's grandparents.

"Nahihiya lang po talaga ako kay lolo at lola. Pasensiya na po talaga. Namadali po kasi talaga," he said.

"Hindi lang po namin mapakawalan ang romantic moment kaya patawad po sa lahat," he added.

Padilla bared that what happened in India was really fast. He said he was in India for Ramadan, was really lonely because he failed to get Rodriguez's text messages.

He said he called Rodriguez and asked her to follow him in India.

"Ito lang ang masasabi ko: Kahit sa ayaw at sa gusto niya, sa oras na 'yon eh papayag siya," he said.

http://ph.news.yahoo.com/abs/20100922/tel-mariel-to-marry-robin-again-336e25d.html

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Sep 21, 2010 (5 days ago)

THREADS AND GLITTER: My inner little girl revealed

by Pinaywriter

I love arts and crafts. I can hand sew, crochet, glue gun, macrame and stuff when I was younger. And like riding a bike, all I need to do is get back on it, fall a few times and get back on it. Hobbies are a great way to make gifts. I remember making crocheted purses and stuff for my classmate. I plan to teach my sister (I hope her Home Economics still includes that) so she can make all sorts of stuff for her friends too.

Speaking of making things that I used to do, I decided (against my better judgement) to make another blog just for this purpose. ^_^ I hope I don't accumulate blogs again. This one would include artsy stuff only. Some DIY stuff and doll dresses would be the center of it.

I called it THREADS AND GLITTER, cute huh?

Well, I hope I can update it as often as I can. But as of now, I think I will just put some of the pictures of the dresses I made for that cheap doll I bought to practice with.

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Sep 20, 2010 (6 days ago)

Ninya's School of Getting over: Create Beautiful Things

by Pinaywriter

After cleaning the walls of your room and intoxicating yourself with Zonrox, the next thing to do is, CREATE.

The opposite of war isn't peace, it's creation. ~ RENT

I have always loved to make doll dresses. But the thing was that I was never that good at it because I winged it most of the time. I am not saying my hand-sewn stuff is ground-breaking but it is oddly calming for me. I also learned something new and it made me feel like my years of creative learning is not behind me. I made a few dresses for a P20 doll. It made the doll look like it cost a bit more than that. ^_^ I plan to try to put some fabric today and bring them home to work on the real dolls that my sister owns. This way, she can play with the doll and the dresses come Christmas. She is 10 and there won't be a lot of time for doll playing in her future. In my case I found the whole doll and tea party thing boring after a few years. I realized role-playing as a teacher was more fun as well as bullying other kids and wrestling. Playing outside was a lot more fun than playing with dolls. But I like clothes, not on me but on dolls. So I made some for my cousins back then. And I am just bringing them back now. I actually have a grandma whose livelihood was making clothes. So in the future, I want to learn how to use an electric sewing machine...if I could afford one. T_T And when I have a daughter, I would make her dolls their own dresses. If not, her own clothes.

Yes, you read it right. IF. ^_^

At least I see a future without him in it but with my very own daughter playing make-believe. ^_^

Check out the blog where I got the instructions

Check out my doll pictures here

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Sep 17, 2010 1:49 PM

I am a pauper again

by Pinaywriter

I need to readjust to this new life. I need to remember that I am earning peanuts again. I have to pay my rent (4k) and pay for my food from last cut off (1k) and I got 5800 this time. Yeah. I know shameful, isn't it. And I am likely to see the same kind of figure on my payslip for the next few months. Oh, and this is the "bigger" cut-off so to speak. I would be better off living with my parents or working for a call center again.

But why am I not doing it?

Today, it seems like it's the worst idea I ever came up with but it's the truth.

I like my job. It requires me to do what I like and I don't get too stressed out doing it. People keep telling me that I have no ambition when it comes to a career. I agree. I want to do what I like, teach, write and live without having to worry about what will happen or whether or not I am going up some corporate ladder. Not that my job is a dead end. We already know from my GL days that even if I don't want to get promoted, stuff like that happen to me.

I just need to suck it up. I guess this might just help me on the whole dieting end of my needs. If I can't afford it, I won't buy it. September is a tough month, not because it's full of problems and changes but because it's full of lessons and challenges.

I need to learn that BOOKS ARE NOT EDIBLE. I also need to remember that I can do my own laundry and not die. The decorating my room can be done on a budget and that I need a roommate before I completely go the red. T_T

I would ask my landlady if I can use my advanced. I promise not to use the money that I would be able to save for anything trivial. Books need to be the electronic kind for now. T_T, Christmas is near and I need to make gifts instead of buy them.

So I decided to take my sewing skills back on track. I will make bags and what not for my friends and relatives. Then I would make Barbie dresses for my nieces. I guess I will buy bargain shirts for the men. ^_^ I need to make a list and get shirt sizes. ^_^

gtg have class

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Sep 17, 2010 7:23 AM

CRAFTY ME!

by Pinaywriter

I just want to say. I love BOOKSALE. There I said it. I got this book (second hand of course) from the Booksale in Mega. I also got two Nora Roberts books, Time and Again as well as Irish Dreams

I am planning to use some of the tips from the book to make my room more beachy. ^_^ I have some money-saving ideas from that I got from the book. I just need magazine pages and super glue. ^_^ And once I have gotten another copy of this I will give this book to my sister for Christmas.

Craft project:

Beachy Mural

Since wall paper is EXPENSIVE. I opted to use my mom's incredible connection to magazines about nature. I plan to ransack our home and strip it off all beach or nature related pictures. ^_^

Needs:
Glossy magazine pages of beach, animals, destinations (beach)
glue (the one that works with paper and stone)
Tiny paint brush
tape

1. Make sure that the pictures are categorized according to where you want them to go.
2. Use the tape to temporarily place the picture on the wall. Make sure it's not too sticky.
3.Use the paintbrush to apply glue on the back of the picture that you want to place on the wall. Press out the air bubbles.

*Make sure you glue the pictures that would be at the bottom of other pictures. ^_^

Project #2
Doll Dresses

I am planning to buy some cheap dolls and make dresses for them for my nieces and if my sister would still play with them I would teach her how to do it, too. ^_^

got some cool stuff here

Dolphin keychain!!!
Zebra
Elephant
Cat pouch!
tissue case
apron
book jacket
purse
crochet 

if I ever have my own sewing machine I would make these ^_^
table cloths
purse!
linden bag
Bag
jeans bag

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Sep 17, 2010 6:34 AM

The Robber - CineEUropa 2010

by Pinaywriter

I liked it. I was actually thrilled with some parts of it.

The funny thing about yesterday was a man who possibly got dragged there by his kid or wife asked if El Greco was a good movie. I told him that people said it was a nice movie. He asked me if it was an action movie too. This guy was my dad's generation so I smiled and said it was artsy-fartsy which of course he didn't understand. I told him it was probably about an artist and Greece.

I was miffed when I was in line because I was in line with two pretentious blabbers. And the bitchy woman even "accidentally" hit me in the back with her swinging bag just because I was pressing my earphones to my ear because I was getting sick of their movie review live talk show behind me. I was this close to snapping at her for hitting me "accidentally" and wanted to call them pretentious snobs. Please, I watch movies too but I don't subject people to a pretentious debate about Harry potter movies' childishness or how you like movies where the people are attracted to each other but don't end up even kissing. Keep your bitchy bitterness about how your sordid life imitates art or how no one in your hillbilly family doesn't like watching foreign films. T_T

Ugh. I swear, I prefer being in line with old people than clucking turkeys like those two. Panira ng libreng movie experience. I swear. T_T

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Sep 16, 2010 9:19 AM

It pays to be a good parent

by Pinaywriter

This is actually scary for me to mention with all the almost dying stories that my friends have told me about relatives who had dengue. My male bestfriend survived it thrice. When my nephew and my little sister got it I tried to black out those stories and prayed as hard as I could so that I wouldn't worry about them 24/7. My parents were there and I knew that things would be okay. Just as long as things don't suddenly turn for the worse. In the beginning it was just some bacterial thing then my mom texted me that Cid, my nephew was stage 2. I prayed that my sister would be a lower stage because somehow I knew she had it too. Then my mom told me that my sister, although sick was at home and is upbeat despite being feverish. Then news that she was in the hospital with them came. I really prayed this time. We were not worrying about the money, we were worrying about the fact that two otherwise healthy kids got dengue. It was an epidemic in the family to have two kids to get the same condition at the same time. It only happens for stuff that were communicable. I kept thinking that the same mosquito bit them and that made me smile a little. The two seemed like typical brother and sister, when they are awake they hate each other but they end up snuggled together then they are asleep. Now they even got sick at the same time.

I had wanted to go home but my mom that no one would be able to take care of me at home. I wanted to insist but I knew that my mom, despite the fact that I am a 25 year old adult, considered me still one of her kids. So she would worry about what I would eat if I was in Batangas City and they were in Cuenca. So I opted to stay.

The unfortunate thing is that my dad's birthday celebration was a first of many that we planned to do as a family outing. We usually spent birthdays at home. This year we were going to have it in Pansol. But we had to move it because of the kids. I don't know how my dad managed to celebrate his 53rd birthday but I am sure that we would have fun this weekend instead.

I guess it really pays to be a good person. And since my parents are awesome as soon as my sister and nephew were given a pink bill of health, GOD took care of the actual bill by sending honest money my parent's way. Things fell into place.

I guess I really need to continue with this whole renewed prayer lifestyle. I would work my way back to attending mass. As of now, I'll keep my hands together. And not just for asking for favors but in thanksgiving as well.

What I find super awesome about my mom was that she treated my nephew like he was one of my brothers.It's a common Filipino trait to treat other people's kids as their own but the fact that she fusses about him being sick just as much as she did when my sister is sick just makes her larger than life for me.

I think this is the reason why I am afraid to be a mom. I mean, wouldn't you be a little scared to make mistakes if your mom is such an awesome mom? Sure, she's nuts half of the time and it took her years to master cooking spaghetti. But the amount of love that she can give is overwhelming. I just revert to being my old lazy self since I know I can't be like her. But if I ever become lucky enough to spawn my own little devils, I am sure she would be there to guide me. Even if it's just in my head. (No, my mom is still alive and I think she would live forever at the rate she's going.)

It's like this. When your mom is a nag like mine, you hate her a bit while you are growing up. She's not perfect but as you grow older and go out into the world, the voice in your head isn't yours, it's hers. (or whoever is the disciplinarian in your family is) In my case, the one who told us what not to do is my mom. We rarely let our dad tell us what not to do because that usually is scary. The only thing I remember my dad told me not to do was touch the walls/gates/polls that I walk past since they were dirty. My dad is more of the one I lean on but my mom is the radio that plays records all day long. And like songs that I have memorized when I was still a boyband fan, my mom's reminders ring truer now that I am older than when I was in my teens and my very early twenties. I have to admit that I ignored her voice A LOT of times. But I can vouch for this, mothers knows best. And girls with no daddy issues are hopeless romantics. ^_^

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Sep 16, 2010 8:34 AM

Writing FanFiction Love Stories in T.O.P.

by Pinaywriter

Fanfiction for Big Bang

BigB had hords of fans, GY had trained them to be total performers. They could sing, dance and act their way to their fans hearts. What happens when they fall in love with members of a new idol group? Will they be able to shine or fall like shooting stars?

Presenting

J-Dragon: Lead Me To Love

Yongbae: Yongbae's Song

Tank : Taking Tank

Dae-song: Behind Dae's Smile

Senji : Senji's Broken Heart

Check it out at Pinaywriter's page on FB 

Sirens

Sophia : Lead Me To Love

Jaime: Yongbae's Song (half PH)

Empress : Taking Tank

Sakura Jae : Behind Dae's Smile (half jap)

Audrey : Senji's Broken Heart

+++

BigB1 - Youngbae's Song
Jaime <3 Yongbae

Jaime had one dream , to be a GY talent and a famous Korean idol. There was only one problem, she was neither a singer nor was she 100% Korean. Her only chance to stay in Korea was to be an English teacher to a bunch of misfits in a highschool in a farflung South Korean town.

Yong-Bae was living the dream, he was GY talent and a famous Korean idol. There was only one problem, he had mandatory military training and was assigned to go a remote town and help build a school. He meets the quirky Jaime while he stays there and finds that love can be found in the strangest places.

Lead Me To Love
J-Dragon <3 Sophia


Sophia hated guys who thought they were God's gift to women. At ganun na ganun si J-Dragon. Wala itong pakundangan kung magpa-cute sa mga fans nito pati na rin sa ibang mga idols na nakakatrabaho nito. Para kay Sophia ay nuknukan ito ng unprofessional. Pano na lang kung magkakasama sila sa isang bahay at hindi lang un, bilang mag-asawa pa! Pano na lang ang puso nya kapag tapos na ang kunwariang sila?

Taking Tank
Tank <3 Empress

Me sikreto si Tank, iyon ang nadiskubre ni Empress. Nasaktan siya nang malaman niyang me girlfriend na pala ang kanyang crush sa BigB. Pero dahil likas na tsismosa ang dalaga nalaman niyang me kakaiba sa relasyon ng dalawa. Pero ano nga ba? Dapat niya bang hayaan na magkalapit lalo ang dalawa o aangkinin na lang niya si Tank para sa sarili niya. Decisions, decisions...

Behind Dae's Smile
Daesong <3 Sakura Jae

Una pa lang basted na agad si Daesong kay Sakura.
"Better be friends than be strangers." and policy ng binata. Nang biglang dumating ang mga magulang ni Sakura para pabalikin ito sa Japan at duon na lang ipagpatuloy ang kanyang career ay nanganib hindi lang ang Sirens kung pati na rin ang pagmamahal niya dito. Sinong pipiliin nito ang pangarap na matanggap sa sinilangang lupa o ang tahimik na pagmamahal ng binatang akala niya ay isa lang matalik na kaibigan?

Senji's Broken Heart
Senji <3 Audrey

Audrey hates Senji.
Senji hearts Audrey.
Simple lang dapat di ba?
Pero pano kung dati pala ay ganito ang equation:
Audrey hearts Senji.
Senji didn't know Audrey existed.
Because Audrey was 200lbs making her his biggest fan, literally.
Pano kung ang fan ay nagbalik para maghiganti sa pang-eepal ng isang lalaking mahal na mahal niya.
How can Senji turn a hater into his
one and only lover?
Daganan este Abangan!

*Disclaimer: Story ideas and plots are copyrighted. Don't be lame and make your own story ideas and stories.

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Sep 15, 2010 6:35 AM

Of Shipboys and Conmen

by Pinaywriter

I watched Botekoe's Boys (The Netherlands) and Philantrophy (Romania). I liked the whole Pirates of the Carribean meets Tom and Huck story of the first movie. But the movie felt like it ended twice already before it actually did. I can't quite explain it but the later part seemed forced. And I LOLed when the Zack Effron looking kid sported a mustache at the end to show that he has grown up. He still looked the same and it was a little too comical to be believable.

Philantrophy kinda reminds me of the underground begging industry in the Philippines. It makes sense and altogether makes me like and hate the film for it's wit and it's direct hit on an issue I as a Filipino choose to ignore.

I liked this line:

I saw you and said 'This is a nobody who wants to be somebody.'

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Sep 14, 2010 12:48 PM

I hate being late

by Pinaywriter

It might not show but I really do.
I like waiting for people as much as I like making people wait.
And I hate waiting for people.
I am probably the most easily bored person in the planet.
My attention span is just not capable of waiting for people without a book in my hand.
So when I am late I feel like an ass.

My manager reminded me that not only does that make me an ass. It could also make me an unemployed ass.
So I need to shape up.

At least now I have absolutely no reason not to wake my ass up at 2:30 a.m.
I need to buy that alarm clock. Last time I woke up late it caused a domino effect.

I need to be at work at 4:30 or I will die trying.

BTW, I arrived at work at 4:20 today. *victory dance*
When I was in Elbi I even arrived before the person opening the door.
I need to revive my, come here before the guy who opens the door thing.
^_^ I need to bring Military Simon online.

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Sep 10, 2010 9:43 AM

Born in Ice - T.O.P. review

by Pinaywriter

Pamagat: Born in Ice


Awtor: Nora Roberts

Tagapaglathala: Jove Book (The Berkley Publishing Group)

Teaser:


Si Brianna Concannon ay namumuhay ng tahimik sa kanyang bed and breakfast sa Clare County sa Ireland.

Pumunta si Grayson Thane sa Clare county para mapag-isa at magsulat ng isa na namang libro na puno ng misteryo at krimen.

Basahin upang malamang kung paanong totoo nga na ang daan sa puso ng isang lalake ay ang kanyang tiyan. Basahin kung paanong ang isang babaeng ipinanganak dala ng obligasyon ay makakahanap ng kanyang tunay na mamahalin sa mga yakap ng isang estranghero.

Mga Karakter:

Brianna Concannon - may-ari ng Blackthorn Cottage

Grayson Thane - thriller at murder genre writer

Maggie Concannon-Sweeney - kapatid ni Brianna

Rogan Sweeney - asawa ni Maggie

Murphy Muldoon - kapitbahay nina Brianna

Mauve Concannon - ina ni Brianna at Maggie

Lugar ng Pangyayari: Clare County, Ireland

Isyu: Sanay si Brianna na inaasahan ng tao na maging matulungin at matiisin siya. Dala ito ng kabataang hindi ganoon kasaya. Sa paningin ng iba lalo na ni Grayson ay masyado niyang sinusubukang pasayahin ang lahat. Para kay Brianna ay ginagawa niya iyon dahil mahal niya ang mga iyon.

Habang naglilinis ng dating attic ay natagpuan ni Brianna ang mapait nakatotohanan. May ibang babaeng minahal ang kanyang ama at may kapatid sila ni Maggie na hindi pa nila nakikilala.

Ayaw ni Grayson na magpatali sa iisang lugar, sa iisang klase ng buhay. Si Brianna naman ay nakatanim na sa lugar na iyon kung san sha lumaki at nagka-isip.



Taluktok (Climax): Kakailanganin nang bumalik ni Grayson sa dati niyang buhay upang ibenta ang librong nailathala na. Alam ni Brianna na hindi na magtatagal at mawawala na ang lalaking pinakamamahal niya.



Pagtatapos: Sa librong sinusulat ni Grayson ay naroon ang mga ugali ni Brianna sa babae sa libro. Ang mga bagay na kinakatakutan ni Grayson at nakasalamin sa mga takot ng bidang lalaki. Ngunit dahil na rin sa pagmamahal ni Grayson at Brianna, nagkaroon ng katuparan ang pagmamahalan ng mga karakter sa libro.



Dumating si Grayson sa buhay ni Brie na parang isang bagyo. Hindi niya inaasahang ang lahat ng dati ay walang nakaktibag ng kanyang pagka-kalma ay magigiba ng isang lalaking nagpasok ng bagyo sa kanyang simpleng b&b at buhay.

Ang taning nais ni Grayson ay inspirasyon. Bilang isang manunulat alam nito na mas madaling isulat ang isang kwentong hindi pa nabubuo sa kanyan isipan kung nandodoon siya mismo sa lugar kung saan niya nais ilagay ang mga inimbento niyang tauhan.

Habang tumagatagal siya sa Blackthorne cottage as mas nagiging mas mahirap para sa kanya ang maging kampante lang laban sa pagnanasa niya para kay Brie.

Natagpuan niyang nasasanay sa siya sa pag-aalaga at pag-aalala nito. Nang magawa na nilang mapagsaluhan ang sukdulan ng kanilang nararamdaman, dumating ang bagong bagyo sa isang tawag na galing sa agent ni Grayson. Kinakailangan nitong bumalik na si Grayson sa Amerika para i-promote ang librong kakalathala pa lamang. Ayaw umalis ni Gray pero mas masakit dito ang tila pagtataboy pa ni Brianna sa kanya.

Pero walang kahit anong makakapigil sa isang taong bukal ang pagmamahal. Kaya ang dating mga bagay na ni sa hinagap ay hindi pinangarap ni Grayson na maging bahagi ng kanyang buhay ay siyang naging permanente niyang tahanan. Ang kanyang dating pagkatao ay isang Irishman na me tinatakbuhang sakit. Subalit bilang si Grayson ay natagpuan niya ang isang pamilya at isang tahanan sa piling ni Brianna.

Komento:

Ito ang pangalawa sa isang trilogy. Ang Born in Shame ay hindi ko pa nababasa pero base sa nabasa ko ay magiging maganda rin ang kwentong iyon. Nabasa ko na rin kasi ang Born in Shame.

Sa lahat ng mga nagmahal ng isang tao na kinakailangang iwan sila para sa isang mas magandang opportunidad, magiging magandang babasahin ito. Dahil na rin ang main character ay lalaking writer, matutuwa ang mga babaeng mambabasa, manunulat man sila o hindi. Dala-dala ni Grayson ang misteryosong pagkataong manghihila ng isang mambabasa upang naising malaman kung pano ba magmahal ang ganitong klase ng lalaki. At para sa mga babaeng tulad ni Brianna na uhaw sa tunay na pagmamahal, magiging masayang babasahin ito para mamulat ang isang babae na kung talaga para sa iyo ang isang tao, kahit isipin mo pa ang praktikal, magiging kayo pa rin kung talagang mahal ninyo ang isa't-isa.

Napakaganda ng pagkakapinta ni Nora Roberts sa mga lugar sa libro. Sa sobrang pino ng pagkakasulat niya sa mga iyon, para kang nakakakita ng pelikula sa iyong isipan. Makikita mo ang bawat kilos at bawat emosyon ng mga tauhan sa kwento. Sa sobrang liit subalit tamang-tama lamang ay mababasa mo ang matinding kaibahan ng pinangalingan ng mga karakter. Bawat isang tao ay kakaiba pero alam mo kung sinong hindi talaga taal na taga-Ireland.
Hindi ako madalas magbasa ng mga nobelang nasa kasalukuyang setting. Mas hilig ko ang mga victorian at labis na maka-luma. Pero masasabi ko na ang librong ito ay ipinanganak sa pagitan ng dalawang klase ng panahon kaya't napakaganda niya.
 
Disclaimer: This review was made for a T.O.P a forum for tagalog online pocketbook readers that is why it's in the the vernacular. This is in no way tries to be an official review of the book but aims to help Filipino pocketbook readers appreciate English ones.

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Sep 10, 2010 5:53 AM

THIS IS YOUR LIFE, live it.

by Pinaywriter

1 person liked this

Sometimes I find it odd when people whine about their lives when in fact there are people who are worse off than they are. They worry about the things that they can't buy or the love that they can't have in their lives. I spent years in highschool postering or pretending to be someone I am not. I was a slave to trying to get people to like me. And in hindsight, I was pretty pathetic. But if I wasn't like that, then there wouldn't be something about me that I could change. And I would have Venus situation, I would not have had a major major problem in my entire sordid existence. The fun thing is I shouldn't have. I should have had an otherwise perfect life. We were middle class but my parents valued education so I've had a private school education since kinder 1. Because of that I was able to get enough preparation to pass the UPCAT. And I graduated 4 years and a half after.
There are those who thing they deserve more than what they have. They are driven by money or the need to prove themselves to others and themselves. I don't know if I am just lazy or complacent but I found something that I like to do as a day job and I am sticking to it. I would rather earn peanuts than be in a job that sucks the life out of me. No offense, I would not recommend this lifestyle to anyone, it doesn't help me save or help out my parents and that is the only major setback. But at the end of the day, I don't have to drag my feet to go to work. At least not everyday.

There are a lot of things about my present life that I want to improve. But I couldn't possibly complain. I have less than what I had before, less friends at work, less money for my needs and my dreams, dashed hopes for love being renewed and a room full of clutter.
But I no longer have other things as well. I no longer have an obssessive hope that someone who can't be mine to BE mine under any means necessary. Even if that necessary thing would cause three, not two people to loose their chance for a real family.
I no longer have to live with people I don't really like. I don't have to walk on eggshells around people who unclutter their surroundings but judge people based on how they organize their things when in fact, they have been driven out from their rightful space.
I no longer have the freedom to splurge. Thus I will learn to save. I no longer have the means to be an impulsive buyer. So I am learning control. Too bad my wishes to save my separation pay was twarthed by circumstances. But things are looking up since it seems like I would get a roommate by November, someone I actually like.
What irritates me these days is that people think I am a lesbian because I have short hair. I can forgive the people who don't know me to think that I just broke up with my boyfriend but to reference me as someone who has a girlfriend just because I don't want to wear a headband or a clip on my hair is just rude. No offense to my bisexual, gay or lesbian friends, they know this about me, I wanted to be like them. But I am not. I was just trying to be someone I was not when I had a girlfriend. I was just trying to help a friend then. I made that mistake, and I guess people thinking I am gay is the karmic retribution that I need to carry around.
Imagine this, I was looking at a bunch of earrrings that an officemate was selling and they asked me if I wore earrings in the first place. I don't since I have sensitive acidic skin. I can't wear anything that is below 18 karat gold. I tried but it irritates my earhole. And so I stopped wearing earrings a long time ago. I told them I wanted to buy them for a friend. I even mentioned that I liked looking at my friend's earrings. Which is all true but I guess what irked me was someone teased that I was going to give it to a "special friend". I had to say, with all candor and being the person that I am "Let me just make it clear, I like dicks." If I was around like-minded people, they would laugh or understand what I meant. But someone commented that I was being too defensive. I wanted to go, "You just lost a valuable customer lady. You have no idea how much of an accessory horder my friends are, you just made me not like buying things from you." I am a very good customer, if you don't insult me in anyway or take shots at me. I also like holding grudges for the weirdest reasons.
It's not like I don't get along with people, I am great with people. It's just I think sometimes I am too much to handle. I guess this is what Angel felt when we left her in E-lamp. She was used to being around people who understood how she was. And being in an environment that she didn't know who is the enemy or who is dispensible was not sitting well with her. The hard part with my new job is not the rules and the students. I can handle complaints well enough. It's a room for improvement. It's the demerits system that kinda sucks. I can understand what my other teammate said. It's not a good motivational tool to see how much mistakes you made and that your pay might be docked accordingly. It makes you worry more about mistakes than doing your job. Although mine were attendance based, it's still sucks. I am awaiting my first memo but I still don't have my contract. That actually doesn't sit well with me. There are notions that creep up in my head that things are not okay around her. Changes, waves and waves of it is about to happen and people are going to abandon ship. And I don't even have my contract yet.
Still live is about experiences, not about regrets. If you keep thinking of what ifs and could have beens then you are in constant replay, there is nothing new that gets recorder because you refuse to move forward. So click record and ACTION!

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Sep 8, 2010 9:22 AM

4:30 a.m.

by Pinaywriter

1 person liked this

I didn't realize that I could get to work inunder 30 minutes. I was one minute late for work. One.freaking.minute. Goodbye attendance incentive. Frack.

I had to skip out of my room and walk/run to the bus stop. Miraculously, I got on the bus as soon as I got to the PeopleSupport Center. While on the bus, I looked through my bag and found out that I had left my wallet at my apartment. Luckily, I put my change directly into the bag and days of change reached 30+ I had enough money for my fare to work and home. But I had zero money for food. It's a good thing that I had ordered food for lunch. So I would not completely go without food.

I missed my first class. Someone subbed for me. I don't know how many demerits I would get for today. I apologized to my TL and the Korean manager. I am not the kind of person who skips work and comes to work late. At least not when I like the place where I work. And I am the impress people while I am still not regular kind of employee. But I think I got too complacent the last few months in Elamp. I forgot how to be truly professional.

So as a personal punishment (and because I didn't have a ticket anyway) I won't go to Blitzkrieg today and to Boy Pogi tomorrow. I would however definitely go to Ondine. I won't be able to watch Mam B's Labfest entries. T_T I think it's just not meant to be. (cries in a corner of her subconscious)

I managed to have no further boo-boos in my classes. Although I am still adjusting with the whole timeframe thing, I am not cutting 20 minutes classes short anymore. I have new students appearing on my schedule. T_T I am not that enthusiastic but they are teaching minutes after all. I just have to deal.

I want to scream one thing though, MUL!!! Omma, mul!!!

Waterrrrrrrrrrr.

Note to self: Bring that overpriced yet still unused Lock and Lock Sports water bottle that you bought. Leave it at your new locker. T_T Bring biscuits to leave in locker if it's allowed. And VITAMIN E, please. Oh, and clean your darn room, woman!

+++

This day did not end with all those boo-boos, mind you.

I went back to my apartment, I ended up not making the black and white logo my comic artist was asking me to do. I watched Boston Legal yet again, eat more food than I should be eating, took pictures of my tagalog and English romance novels and put them in one of the cute retractable boxes I bought from Divisoria, and prevented my incense burner and candle from burning the entire room with all my clothes and books in it.

Note to self: Once those candle wax melts, it is truly flammable. Do not spit, throw water or try to hit it with anything that can also burn, like a sponge maybe.

I need a fire extinguisher for my room. Or I need to stick to incense sticks. I am an idiot. That I accept. I don't want to burn down the apartment...just yet. ^_^

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Sep 5, 2010 11:40 PM

I lost this book

by Pinaywriter

I read this at home. I loved this book. I didn't realize it was once of the greatest science fiction books in some list somewhere. But I loved it. I don't know where it is now. But it was awesome.

Here is the link

More books to read

Oranges are not the only fruit

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Sep 3, 2010 9:28 AM

Culture Crash At Elbipie 12

by Pinaywriter

As much as I love the way that Icebag and Tarugo made a mark in the laugh lines on my face, I appreciated the monodrama as a way to enrich my suffering thea persona. I have seen monologues and candid monodramas but I have never seen an actual one that had all 12 characters being portrayed by a single actor.

I kept whispering I miss Kiko whenever Juanito the mute character was making laughable sounds and gestures. I whispered I miss Pong when I heard the male and elderly characters. I also said I miss Bong for the female characters.

JK is a magnificent actor. I kept whispering I want to give him some water since I felt my throat was suffering from all the voice changes and movements that he did onstage.

Okay, sure I admit it, I got bored at some parts. But it was because I went straight from work. Had I been 100% then I am sure I would have been quiet as death and appreciative of every single thing on stage.

I ended up being one of those noisy people. I whispered, "Nasan kaya ang ano ni Hermano?" Apparently it's on the acacia tree along with the pelvis area of Pule. T_T

I failed to meet up with my brother so I didn't get to treat him out for dinner. I ate calamaris at Jungle Java. I tried to smoke two cigarettes that night but realized I really don't want to loose my voice so I just gave Kim my cigs. Jv wanted to order some kind of seafood spaghetti that was no longer in the menu. But he ended up getting what he wanted. So good costumer service to Jungle Java noh? Funny trivia, the MARK's at the Square is not there anymore. The couch at the Loata was moved there is DJ booth where it used to be.

I saw a person I know and had a weird encounter with. I was about to say hi when I decided against it. One, I was not presentable. Two, I want to forget those parts of my past. The Spunky that that guy knew is not the one who is about to say hi to him. So I didn't bother him since he was making drinks at the bar and talking to friends.

I said hi to the other Epsi peeps before we left since it was 1) common courtesy and 2) I actually like those people for all intensive purposes, not like the "I am talking to you because we are in the same org shit." If I survive and get this cough out of the way, I will follow my September ELBI overload schedule.

September 8 = Blitzkrieg

September 9 = Boy Pogi

September 11-12 = Pansol with my Family (Dad's B-day celebration)

September 20 = Ondine (not sure about this sked but I will follow it up)

Anyway, I slept on the jeep from crossing to alabang. I slept on the bus from alabang to boni then got off at SM Megamall. I got to work waaaay too early, I changed my top and my cardigan among other things at the Tycoon lobby loo and hung out at MCDO with chicken nuggets and hot choco.

I am not sleepy as hell, coughing like a badass dog and unable to sleep at the sleeping lounge since technically I need to be sick to sleep there. I really don't want to be perceived as a whinner. I don't want to sleep on my station either. And I am pretty sure if I slept on a bed it would require a vulvellva to wake me up. T_T

So I am going to sleep after work. Then I will wake up at 6pm to move my shit from M.Reyes to Kamagong. To hell if it rains. T_T,

*coughs* I am going to die, I swear or this is just some brutal punishment for wanting to quit smoking. T_T,

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Sep 2, 2010 9:07 AM

Not even the Apocalypse can stop me

by Pinaywriter

I don't care if my lungs suddenly feel like being an pain in the ass these days. I will hold my cough in for the duration of the ELBIPIE 12 play if I have to. I will go to Elbi after work. I have tucked a simple shirt for work tomorrow. I am wearing a corporate jacket and a sponge bob shirt so I would look like a student but not oo yuppie either. ^_^

I just hope Lars has my ticket or so help me God...there would be hell to pay. I need this. This September is going to be the reward for all the crap that happened since June. This is my good karma. T_T

Being in Elbi would refresh, recharge and remind me that there is a me who is not afraid to eat, pray and love but not necessarily in that order. I was on my knees a lot while I was eating, praying and loving so I guess...okay I am ending this trail of thought right here. ^_^ (bathes in auga bendita)

As I was saying, I am going back to Elbi today to watch a play, breathe some fresh air and pray to GOD to help me find love again. I am sure Maria Makiling would not be symphathetic to my need for another beloved being that she is a spinster of a few hundred years, but I am hoping I can make the decision to cut my hair or keep it long while I am there. At the very least if I do decided to cut it then I would have the convenience of having Dionne's there as my official hairdresser. ^_^

I wish Ate Carla would be there but I don't think I can stay if she was since I have to go to work on Friday. I missed work last Tuesday so skipping work twice in the same week would be unprofessional.

I don't have a camera since my brother has it. But I would make do with the camera on my phone. I probably won't get any cool stuff but I would have the experience. And in my book, experiences are priceless.

*humming* I love my Elbi life ~

+++
My brother said that he didn't like the Elbi pie 12 that he watched. I figured he made the mistake of watching the on 2nd day. It's big no-no to watch on the second day since this is the dull day so to speak. I usually watch the first show or the last show because from experience this is usually the shows where the actors are in their A game. I guess he forgot about that. ^_^

And either way, who gives a shit about his review. He probably just didn't understand the jokes anymore since he's been detached from the culture. I would decide on my own whether I like the play or not. ^_^ After all, not everyone know how hard it is to enspire laughter.

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Sep 1, 2010 9:02 AM

If Love is a Vitamin

by Pinaywriter

I am lacking of it. Or for some reason, for the longest time, I have been ingesting something that blocks the absorption of love in my life.

It's funny how love, like a virus catches us all unaware. We think we have an immunity for it then we realize that we are as vulnerable as the next guy.

I was sick yesterday, hacking and feverish whenever I was awake. I spent most of the day sleeping since it's the only time I didn't feel like coughing my lungs out. My mom misspelled the name of the antibiotic that she wanted me to buy. But I still got it. I thought I was all better now but it turns out that I am still very sick. I don't know if I would be able to get any of my things from my old apartment today. I think I would have to do it on Friday.

I don't know if it was the recent revelations, the lack of smoking (I haven't smoked for a while) or the fact that there is an orchestra of coughing and sniffing all over the city that caused me to get sick. Must be the darn weather. *imagine each sentence here is punctuated by coughing - that's how bad it is*

If anyone tells me that what I do is very easy, I would say "Try holding your cough in for three hours while talking, then you can tell me that my job is easy."

I finished He's beautiful and S.A. (anime) this week. I am fighting the urge to cut my hair. I will talk to H if it's a good idea. If not I would skip on it. But I am beginning to think that my hair is taking the nutrients from where it's supposed to go. T_T If that was the case, shouldn't I be loosing weight? Nah...superstition.

The only silver lining here is that I would be watching Elbipie on Sept.2. I hope that my ticket is truly safe with whoever it was ZEL contacted. Otherwise, I would have a massive bitchfit. I hope I have a camera. But I doubt I would be able to get the camera from my brother. I will try to contact him later. I don't want to bring Eros since he's too heavy and I am still feeling under the weather.

The way that I see it, if love was a vitamin and we all got the right dosage, we could make more love to spread around. But there are those like me who are running on empty. I need to replenish. I need to find the right kind of love to nourish me. I don't know if the generic kind is the same as the more expensive kind.

All I know is that, I need to get rid of those love vitamin blockers.
Para more energy, mas happy. ^_^

The "BER" months will be cold and wet. I need to store up a resistance against the usual "Holiday Blues."
Fighting!~

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Aug 30, 2010 10:14 AM

Allergic to Order

by Pinaywriter

I think I got sick because I spray painted my closet and cleaned my windows. T_T And boy did that window need cleaning. I took out buckets after buckets of black water from my room removing the dust there. The wall are going to have to wait since I basically can't be awake without coughing my lungs out. This eliminates sleeping in my birthday suit for a long time. Apparently my room is well ventilated so much so that it's cold at night. So that plus my electric fan equals coughing fit.

Note to self: Spray paint minus protective mask and cover equals idiot with green spit and snot with greenish stuff. T_T If you  need me to elaborate on this and you are not holding your tummy in laughter, you are sooo weird.

I was litterally on the groove with the whole cleaning bit that I ended up buying the scotch brite they use for cleaning grills. ^_^ It's nice, took out the stuff brushes couldn't. I now have clean windows and screens. Although I would revisit them once a month to prevent this from ever happening again. And by this I mean my middle left finger locked in trigger position because of all the squirting I had to do using that hand. T_T Seriously, I never thought that could happen with a finger. I thought  I would need to go to the hospital or something. I mean, I have had sports related muscle issues before but not like that one. I cut my hand on the staples stuck on the wood. Seriously, idiot ex-tenant, NEVER STAPLE SHIT ON YOUR WINDOW! I had to remove numerous hooks and staple wires from the wood. I figured I would have to buy paint for it next time.

I will halt on the painting the closet bit for a while. I need to move my crap this afternoon. I would need to do this until tomorrow afternoon since it's already the end of August. T_T, I can't even begin to explain how painful this day is going to be for me.

Suddenly I wished I was not a pack rat or that I never moved in the first place, that I should have endured the karaoke and had moved to that room sooner. T_T But hey, it took my mind off Kian, M, Kirk and my own otherwise uncomplicated existence.

As I scrubbed the windows, the wall and the made more muck on my floor than there was in the first place I had three thoughts,

1) I am so Princess Sarah right now.
2) Now I know why Mudrah and Helene likes to clean when they are stressed out, heartbroken or frustrated.
3) I should have moved my things first. T_T FAIL.

But oh well, we learn from our mistakes. ^_^

Plans:

1) Buy one more can of green spray paint
2) Hold the 2nd closet painting
3) Clean walls within the week.
4) Go to UPLB on Sept 2.
5) Meet Helene who is in the Philippines!
6) Get a boyfriend who can help with stuff like this in the future. T_T

++++
08.30.10

Hate black Cats

1) Missed Washington jeep at 3:50 a.m.
2) The 7-11 was temporarily closed for pest control
3) I was late for work (incentive late)

I really hate it when they cross my path. I am glad I moving to a non-black cats in every street corner Kamagong. ^_^

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Aug 27, 2010 10:25 AM

Pagbabago : Changing my opinion of Sans Rival

by Pinaywriter

Sans Rival circa 2002-2006
My bestfriend Reina used to ask me to buy her some at the corner store near the Vega Center in UPLB. I think those where the small almost rectangular versions of it that came in what I called "baon sizes". During that time I was still a student, I was cynical when it came to the idea of love and I didn't know the value of true friendship. Do you know how much I hated it? I misspelled it until today. I used to spell it Sans SRIVAL. I learned of it's correct spelling today. (Imagine me auto-correcting all the Srival in this entry.)

Sans Rival circa 2010

My officemate Jeshie said that when she passes the test call for work "Mag-papa-sans rival ako!" as a joke. The odd thing was she came with a Goldilock's Sans Rival cake a couple of days after she got her allowance check. I didn't want to tell her that I hated that cake flavor since college. I tried a bit of it.

taken from http://ugwug.blogspot.com/2009/09/sans-rival-goldilocks.html

I was shocked that I actually liked it. A lot! And take note, this cake was nearly consumed! Too bad I didn't get to take a picture of it. I pieced off the bottom of the last piece (which we were saving for our other training batchmate Lanie) and the cake didn't budge. I enjoyed the nutty wafery feeling in my mouth. I didn't mind that the cream was getting a little too mushy in my mouth since it was hot in the pantry and the cake wasn't covered.

I realized then that the last time I ate Sans Rival I was with my college bestfriend. I suddenly missed her and the "innocence" of those days. I wasn't an adult, I didn't have to worry about finding a new boyfriend because I just recovered from a truly traumatic revelation about true love, and I wasn't renting a room on my own.

But I ate and liked Sans Rival. That in itself was a miracle for me.

I know it sounds odd since who wouldn't like cake, let alone Goldilocks? I mean, come on!

It's just that I had some rather unpleasant experiences with it. I bought a cake with a female friend for my very first crush in UPLB and they ended up hooking up. Come to think of it, they have a kid now and they are two of my coolest college friends. Imagine this cake was chocolate. That was the cake that broke my heart. ^_^ So to speak.

imagine this was chocolate flavored *taken from the net*

But I realized when I ate my part of the Sans Rval cake that people's taste can change over time. But there would always be something that we can rely on, that the love and the memories that we make while eating it would blissfully haunt us for the rest of our lives.

I guess I don't eat cake with lovers, only with friends. Isn't that odd? I guess because like Goldilocks, my friends are the kind I can always rely on to give me sweet memories in the worst of transitions and in new beginnings.

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Aug 27, 2010 9:19 AM

Funny How the World Didn't Tilt

by Pinaywriter

I should have been more devasted to find out about Kian. I should have been sadder and in worse condition. But the worst thing that happened yesterday was that I slept from five in the afternoon until two in the morning. I didn't wake up to clean or start on my room project. And there were dreams, I am sure of it. But I can't remember any of them. The most number of teardrops that fell that day was the one I forced inside the bathroom when I went to pee.

He was afraid to hurt me so he lied to me for so long. I can understand where he is coming from but I am glad as well. Why? Because I know that now, more than ever, we can be friends. I don't like secrets. I don't keep any from my friends. So I expect to know who my friends really are.

He was afraid that if I know the real story, I would disappear from his life. I guess he forgot about what I did after he told me the first part of the truth. I didn't leave. I stayed. I gave him wonderful memories. And what I have is the truth that was in my head. I am glad not because all of the things that are in the past are laid to rest, but it's that my fear then is justified now. I know something was up but I loved him too much to let it interfere. Next time, I'll love a little smarter and make real memories of who the person I love really is.

He will never tell me all that happened. I think it's self-preservation. He wants to keep the love that he had for me as pure as he thinks it is. I never doubted that it was real. I have seen this happen before. But I guess he just didn't want me to know that I was in fact, a home-wrecker.

He will hate me for writing this not because he is ashamed but because it hurts to read or hear the truth when the love you have for that person is still in your heart. I don't want him to stop caring about anyone, I just want to make amends.

I try to picture her as benevolently as I can. This will help stop the dreams of wanting to do away with her so we could be together. I am trying to be more religious although that never helped anyone think better of the people who are taking away their supposed happiness.

I wrote on my shout out that MY HEART IS NOT BROKEN...IT'S READY. Someone from a social site of less reputable value asked me what my heart was ready for. I didn't get to answer him because I didn't have any internet connection. My Smartbro 5-day thing ended yesterday. I guess God really has a way with things. He knows I needed to sleep on it, this new found freedom can be a little overwhelming. I needed to decide whether or not it would lead me to the path of love or of solitude.

I choose love.

+++

He reminded me to be careful of what I wore. This was after I was harrassed by a kid, a little tiny ass kid at the line for the cashier. The kid lifted my dress a bit. I managed not to smack the kid accidentally. I just said in irritation "Ang ganyang bata hindi na kailangang magpre-school ang dapat jan palo." in English (roughly) A kid like that doesn't need to go to pre-school, he needs to be punished.

With kids like those and teenagers who heckle women in the street just because they are wearing a dress, what kind of man can I expect to meet?

Are men like my father who are loyal, hardworking, and honest truly extinct? If so, then I choose solitude.
Because men like my father would never tell me that it's my fault that I got heckled or harrassed. He would not tell me that I should watch what I wear when it is perfectly decent-looking.
I guees men like him are rare, extremely rare even. But I promise to raise one when I get the chance, if I get a chance. I would be the mother of a true gentleman. I would tell him that he would embody the man his grandfather was. Because a man like that is worth a princess's love so the woman he would love would feel like a queen.

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Aug 26, 2010 10:57 AM

Final Shackles - poem

by Pinaywriter

They held me in place for so long
In this limbo of passion and memories
With the keys so beyond my reach that
I exhaust all my strentgth just wishing

That I would be free to love you again
I heard the pounding, it hurt when it hit
A piece of the chain broke and clanking
It woke me up from my daydream

I was at the edge of a cliff
Atop tall spikes of jagged rocks,
Small spaces of ragging ocean waves
Salvation would be in vain

The sound of metal cracking
My weight lifting from the side of the cliff
The wind slaps fear out of me
And I wait for the inevitable

The sudden unlatching of chains
Made me cry out in protest
Long had I been there that I have
Wanted to die there instead

One hand holding all the weight of the past
The sound of the last chain breaking
I fall and wait for the crash or the splash
That would end my bitter existence

The gods, being cruel or foolish
Threw me into the water, so cold
I didn't fight the current this time
I had no strength left to want to

I didn't realize when it happened
When my legs and arms started moving
Without orders or second thoughts
I urged my head to break the surface

And I did, gasping for freedom
In the middle of a wicked storm
I was a mermaid again and I could see
That my land walking days were behind me

082610 11:05

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Aug 26, 2010 9:32 AM

Beach for this Biatch

by Pinaywriter

I have:

2 cans of green spray paint
1 can of silver green paint
1 mop with a long handle
several rags
3 doormats
1 glass cleaner
1 squirter
1 pair of shears
1 basin
1 small pail
2 sheets of sand paper
1 extra pillow
1 extra blanket
toliteries
Hanger with pins

What else do I need:
1 walis/dustpan set (saw one 100 at Shopwise)
1 monoblock (saw one 99.00 at Shopwise)
1 packaging tape (wide and thick 70 at Shopwise)
All my things from where I used to live
A boyfriend who can help me move, clean and paint the cabinets

When all of the stuff I want to do is done, I will ask people if they want to be roommies. I have an idea as to what to do to give two people privacy in such a small space ^_^

I have decided on a beach theme for my room. ^_^

So the stuff that I would need in the future are :

Dyes
Rubber bands
White cloth that can be turned into a curtain
Rubber work gloves
Shells
Shelves
Pictures of beach scenes from magazines
Beach themed beddings

and if possible

A hammock

Too much? I think so too. But then again, I need to keep affording the room so that'll help with my diet. Not like that is even working. T_T

+++

Cute murals for inspiration:

mermaids
beach

hawaii

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Aug 26, 2010 9:25 AM

Adjusting to New Parameters

by Pinaywriter

So much for social site access. Even worse, I can't check my e-mail either. So no chance in hell I would be able to write stuff down on my shoutout unless I keep it in my head (which, if you know me, is impossible). Nevertheless, I understand. We can send and recieve e-mail of sorts from out students via the teacher 1:1 option on the spicus page. There is also a policy against using social sites and e-mail to interact with one's students. They are just doing actions that are logically in sync with the policies I heard in training. UNLIKE some people I know, I guess the geniuses on this side of the river knows how to keep people in line without mixing too many mixed signals. I am glad however, that I am no longer a GL.Otherwise people are going to bug me about this.

Problem is, I am bored as hell. And sleepy as hell, so much so I need to shake my head every ten seconds or so. And that is just to keep from having my head hit the table. But I will adjust. Maybe I can just use this immense free time to do diaries (we can correct stuff that the student sends over) if I don't have a lot of students.

The real parameter that I am having a problem with is the 10-minute crap. This is my fourth day and I am on overtime mode. This is not good. This is possible QA bad kind of breach. And the performance incentive is subjective as it is. I don't want to add fuel to the fire.

So far I like my students. Most of them are professionals already so they are easy enough to deal with. I don't have any college boys on my list yet, well and good, in my opinion. I say this perhaps because they sound and appear too juvenile.

Oh well.

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Aug 25, 2010 10:58 AM

MCC 2010 Day 2: Of Cosplayers and BO's

by Pinaywriter

This ninja is <3

Cosplayer : First Bo-look Alike winner!

Youi-chan and Moi

Hindi halatang crush ko ang Naruto character na ito Note: Hindi ung guy ung kinocosplay nya ang crush ko

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Aug 24, 2010 11:44 AM

Of Beauty and Madness

by Pinaywriter

Today a man died for sins he would never be able to pay for.
I still think this is a part of a bigger conspiracy. What the PAL strike couldn't do, a man on a bus was able to achieve.
He brought fear and shame into our hearts.

Today a girl stood in the arena where a boxer K.O.ed men from the enemy country.
She was 4th and the enemy won.
But she lifted our spirits in a MAJOR MAJOR WAY.

How I would have wanted her to answer the question:

In Filipino or her native dialect kung trip nya:

"Wala pa naman po akong sobrang laking pagkakamaling nagagawa. At sana po ay wala kailanman. Sa tingin ko po ay dahil ito sa mga aral na itinuro ng aking ina sa akin. Dahil kung ang bawat magulang ay gagawin ang lahat upang hindi na danasin ng kanilang mga anak ang mga naranasan nila sa pamamagitan ng pagtuturo sa kanila ng tama, marami pa sanang tulad kong magagawang harapin ang lahat ng balakid ng taas-noo at matagumpay."

Giba na ang venue sa sigaw ng mga Pinoy, ahm sure. ^_^

+++++++++

http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/6581538-a-letter-of-apology-from-a-filipino-teenager-after-the-hostage-drama

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Aug 24, 2010 9:20 AM

While I was sleeping

by Pinaywriter

I don't have a tv. I was asleep when it happened.
But I know how people can be when they see something play out on tv.
It's not a coincidence that the reports made the person more desperate and the situation more dire.
They were showing it during the time when the viewers expect to see versions of reality that makes you wonder if people are really that idiotic to seek to do harm to others just because of personal gain or because someone hurt someone in their family.

Apparently it does. Somehow that realization made me feel worse.

I am laughing at people who are pointing fingers at everyone else. They are blaming the media. They are telling the president off. They are ticked with people who are worried about tourism or their chance to go to Disneyland.

All of you are freaking clueless. All of you suck. It is the screaminng masses that tells the gladiator to kill the lion when in fact the lion, though vicious, is the real victim here.

I do want to throw rotten tomatoes at a handful of idiots who are on tv. Half of which will never apologize for all the crap they say outloud. But as a co-bullshitter, I commend them for their abilities to surpass their present level of arrogant stupidity.

Sure, logic dictates that someone is to blame. Sure it calls for the need to know what the heck really happened. But what we refuse to acknowledge is that there is a pertinent need for healing and change. More men in the service think they deserve to be treated better, but they are not. Our lack of respect for them bounces off all of us.

Curb that finger and hold your hands together and bow your heads. Call up to the highest place you call GOD and ask for forgiveness. Then ask for enlightenment. Then ask for justice. Then ask for personal peace.

And next time someone asks you about the travel ban, tell them, "Hongkong is so 90's."

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Aug 23, 2010 10:27 AM

Be silent, Be still but stay away

by Pinaywriter

* away shoule be awake"
I am this close to doing jumping jacks. I swear. I will fly to my bed and nothing and noone can drag me out of it. I will close eyes and go to sleep. Then I will try to recharge just enough so that I can move some clothes and things to my new room. I do need to get everything before the end of the month. Especially since my housemate was nice enough to clear out my spot and take everything downstairs. I know that most of those are heavy. Still it made me feel like there was some controversy as to kick me out of the house and everyone would life happily ever after. But they are nice enough.

I swear I can't put words together without mistyping something. It's irritating.
Since I am not going to GoFluent later, I will just spend my time resting, moving some things and then fixing my room. ^_^ I will start with the test since it's everywhere. But the cobwebs in my head is harder to clear out than him I literlally"I get surprised when *hea dnobds and falls afteed

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Aug 23, 2010 5:19 AM

Stationed in Korea

by Pinaywriter

No, I am not in Korea. But my Windows live Messenger, my IE is mostly in Korea and it's ticking me off since I can't read the instructions to most of the things on some of the pages that have Koreans translations or language options.

I already have 4 students for today and my voice is not okay. First day funk indeed. I need to ask about that Korean thing later. Since my Microsoft Word is also IN KOREAN.

T_T Shi...

*Happy thoughts*

I sent GoFluent a message saying that I won't come in today. I can waste time and effort applying there when I know 1) I won't get in. 2) If I do get in, I would suffer travelling back and forth from Makati to Libis 3) I would absolutely hate being in the night shift again. So I used the schedule as a deciding factor. T_T

I hope it wouldn't be something that I would regret. At least not all that much.

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Aug 21, 2010 11:59 PM

Comic Convention Virgin

by Pinaywriter

Article about the MetroCon 2010 Day #1 

I had a lot of fun. I managed to use my skills in selling stuff from when I was in UPLB. I am talking to my ex now and he ridiculed me that selling 20 copies of a comic book was not as hard as texting messages. T_T I stopped talking to him for a few minutes. He knows that it is a sign that I am already angry. He said he was just teasing me. I decided to change the subject because I wanted to whack him and scream,

MAHIRAP MAGBENTA NG COMICS NA WALANG NAKAKAKILALA. NAKAKAPAGOD SHA TO THE BONES. HMF. PANGIT KA. HMF.

I would like to thank all the guys who bought the comics and please continue to support Yo,Bo! Huwag kayong tumulad sa ex ko, mapang-api. T_T, HMF. Wehehe!

Anyway, I am no longer a comics convention virgin. ^_^ So far, I find comic conventions to be orgasmic...mentally, at least.

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Aug 21, 2010 8:17 AM

A day of M's Metrocon and M

by Pinaywriter

I woke up early since I wanted to go to my old apartment to try to get a new set of clothes to wear at the MCC. But I would have to make do with my Ala-eh Shirt. T_T Or I might buy there so I can have something to wear for Sunday. My soon to be ex housemate asked me when I would clean up my stuff. She offered to do it herself but I told her I didn't have time to go there today since I need to be at the MCC. I told her I would go there after the MCC. T_T It feels eerie that I am alone in my room but somehow...it's better this way. T_T,

I am really excited. I need to buy batteries for the camera. Norby can go in because he has a pass. I need to wait for 10am T_T Darnit. I will take a bath at 9am. I don't want to have to wait outside for too long. ^_^
I hope we sell the 30 copies easily. I would need one for me and one for my family. ^_^ Gooooooooo Bo!~

Anyway. I talked to M again. And he gave me great news. He has agreed to the things that I insisted he should do. Somehow that makes me think that the only thing that was stopping him was me. But I am being arrogant again. He is afraid. And he admitted that. Only he said that negatively. I tried to encourage him to be braver. To be really brave is to face the one thing that you are terrified off. And to him that is rejection, not women. He insists that it's women but it's rejection. Classic torpe. I wanted to lift his spirits and not make him worry about me and my so called sadness. I'm not hurt or sad to an excess that I can't handle it. It hurts lesser waaaaaaaaaaaay lesser now that I know he would do the right thing. He still says that he would move to the mountains and be far away from everyone. In my head I said, "Don't you know that you can still get internet in the mountain area the same way you can get CP signal. Haller?" but I rode his wave and told him snail mail was still in vogue around those parts so he should give me his address and I would LBC him some. I could imagine a delivery guy heaving while giving him a package full of books and letters. *laughs*

I want him to be happy. I want him to be able to share his problems with someone who knew him before and knows him now. He says that he doesn't share all of who he is to people. It's a classic case of being afraid that those people would be so special to him that he would not be strong enough to fight temptation. Even under immense pressure and repeated inquiries, he insists that his escapades are all tall-tales he conjured to keep people from him. T_T I hope he's not lying. For his own sake. But from his reactions to the stimuli given to him before, I guess it's true.

He told me that he would leave work by tomorrow. His manager insulted his friend and kababayan so M didn't want to stay there and be treated the same way in the future. I hope things would work out for him. I told him I love you not in a romantic way but in the same way I say I love you to Kambal (Jan) and P-chan. I want him to be happy. I want to make him smile once in a while.

But I know I won't be the one he would come home to every night.

I need to find someone of my own who would do that. ^_^ Aja, fighting!~

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Aug 20, 2010 9:35 PM

When HELLO means the END

by Pinaywriter

*playing Hello in my memory*

(written at Eduplaza training room)

The best way to say goodbye would be to say hello to a new love. Last night and this morning I did something that the old tease Spunky would do. And like any of the bad and naughty things that I have done in  the past, I don't regret it. I showed him who I am now and he said he still loved me despite of that and the fact that it can never be for us. He told me that I am a liar. He said he knows that it still hurts when I learn, find out or talk about his future. I never said that it didn't. It's just that I know, ergo all the pushing and prodding, that there is still a bright and happy future for THEM.  Because she never stopped loving him as a man, as himself and as the father of her child. She's right. In the end, there can only be one he would go back to. In this manner, M and his dad share the same fate. Whatever they do, whomever they meet, there can only be one person who has a claim on them. The tears that I didn't shed last night are falling now as I write this. They are neither painful nor bitter. They are necessary to wash away the dirt and clear my vision. 

I can see him now. He is a man who doesn't know what he really wants (or maybe he does and he is sparing me from the pain of not being who he wants after all) and can't do anything for love (or at least he thinks it's better this way).

I need someone who's not just able to do things for me but who is brave enough to be with me. Just me. And be mine, and I his.