Sunday, September 26, 2010

archive Conversation Sins

Conversation Sins

1. Conversation Hijacking

In the Filipino context this is the "Wala ka sa *insert relative here* ko." conversation.

I admit to this and I do this only when the person who is talking is an arrogant prick. I do this to show him or her that he or she doesn't have a monopoly on whatever he or she thinks is a life experience that he or she only has.

2. Eye Contact Issues

I call this the "Kurap" mode.

There are some people who like to stare at people when they are trying to get what the other person is saying. I don't particularly feel awkward when this happens to me. But for most people it is a bit unnerving.

3. Ghost Listening

I call this "Auto-answer" mode.

I admit to doing this when my student's audio is so noised or when the student has a voice not louder than a mouse' squeak. As much as possible I try not to praise or say affirmations that can't be used for any general thread of conversation.

In the case of my students it turns out that I would answer my own questions. It's not the best thing to do but sometimes it's just too frustration to actually tell them to talk louder.

There was this girl who liked to call me at home for no reason and I perfected this skill because of her. She is the most boring girl you can ever talk to and her mini-crisis were always just regular things that she could deal with had she had a backbone to begin with.

4. Making Tasteless Jokes

I call this the "By the Way this is Awkward" mode.

There is always that person who would make jokes that are followed by clearing of the throat and awkward short laughs. For the most part this is the kind of person you want to WTF more than you would want to give him or her LOLs.

5. Shameless Self Promotion

I call this the "Politico Mode".

It would feel like you are actually talking to a person who is trying to get hired, even if you already work with him or know for a fact that he earns so much you want to just cut him.

So what if you work in a global company and you suck up to your boss so much that you put us all to shame? This are the ones you just want to leave out of a normal conversation since he would just, in so many words, repeat his damn resume in full detail.

6. Me, Me, Me

I call this the Narci Mode.

In more ways than one you would know more about him or her than you care to know.
And this person has deceitfully mastered how to change the current topic to something related to him. And this happens all the time. You would end up thinking that half of the time you were talking to him, he had maneuvered the general topic to something that was all about him.

7. My Name is Negativity

I call this Nega Mode.

This is a true blue damper on a party or a gimmick. Whenever people try to decide where to go or what to do, this person always knows the con side of an activity or a place. It borders to her wanting all of you to lose all your will to live. And of course if you leave her out of the decision making, you would never hear the end of it.

8. Dead End Answering

I call this K Mode.

It sucks to hang out with a person like this especially when all you want is for someone to rant along with you. You can try to press them for details but they don't like giving any.

9. "Word Machine"

I call this OD Mode.

This one would be me. Period.

10. "I Only Read Us Weekly, OR Russian Literature"

I call this the Post-Modern ako Mode.

This is the kind of person who turns every meaningless banter into a painful test of one's ability to remember trivia and whatever goddamn thing you learned from college. It's hard not to fall prey to their ploy to ask you to pick their brain.

But sometimes it's harder to talk to a moron than to a post-moron.
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