Sunday, September 26, 2010

archive 073010


Procrastination should be a mortal sin

I really need to work on the comics now. I have procrastinated long enough. It's time to earn my keep. I am doing them now. Need to crank it up. Yo, Bo! Komiks time!!!
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    MY UP PROFESSOR SAID NEVER ARGUE WITH FOOLS


    I am sure many UP students have already said this but I would like to repeat it. I pity you. It is without the heart of true academician that you say this. You do not see the need for government subsidized education, I understand this. I am sure that you have a lot against leftist students. I have in my time as a UP student and as a graduate seen the deterioration of the quality of education NOT only in the UP system but in education in general.

    What you fail to understand sir, is that UP is but a part of what the education budget is allocated for. You don't realize that the misgivings and the errors that you see to use as a reason why subsidized education should be abolished, such as the erroneous books and socialist ideals of leftist students is something the system tries to remedy. But it is not UP's fault not in it's entirety. So using them as a reason is, in my humble opinion, wrong.

    I have had many leftist professors, I have held in my heart an ideal once, but I came out of the university with hope that I could give back to my parents, to the people who helped me study in UP, and to make them all proud that I was their student, their classmate, and their schoolmate.

    You do not understand, perhaps if you were, or ever will have someone who is studying in UP in your life, the burden of being a student that is being subsidized by the common man. I talked to a jeepney driver once while I was in UPLB, and I paid him the regular fare. He gave me a discount and he said, "Tulong ko na sa iyo. Balang araw mag-aaral din ang anak ko sa UP." UP doesn't represent a salot, it doesn't aspire to just be better than others, it represents a dream for the common man. That they too can contribute to the betterment of the educational system in our land.

    And "freethinkers" are not all leftists, "freethinkers" are not all socialists. We do not leech off the government only to leave this country and let it rot. What you see is the red shirted students WHO DO NOT REPRESENT ALL UP STUDENTS. We wear other colors, we also wear corporate clothes, we now bear the burden others had carried before us. We pay taxes, knowing that somehow some of it is going to go to the education of a boy or a girl whose life and the lives of his family would be better because he had a chance to study in UP.

    You have never met a Tondo boy who was well on his way to becoming a criminal had he not passed UP and graduated from it. Now he dreams of becoming a man who would make vaccines and medicine for the poor.

    You have not been on the other side of the looking glass so how dare you say Education is not a right?

    With that trail of thinking, public education should be abolished completely. Surely then you would be satisfied. Because then there would be no erroneous books because there would be no writers to write them, educators who would need them and I assure you, the bandits and the criminals would not need them when they crawl out of their backward ways since they had no other options laid before them earlier in life.

    Surely then you would think, what if things were different.
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      Project Spunky

      What do girls do when they get their hearts ripped out of their chests?

      They go to the mall.

      Now I understand why there are malls.

      First things first, I bought tagalog pocketbooks in the PHR store in SM Batangas. It's the balm to my love wounds and my secret obsession. I managed to stop myself from buying 12 books in a series. I mumbled "I do not need to buy all this books. It will not make him love me." I ended up with 5, and they were not in the same series, except the one that was a part one and a part two. ^_^

      I passed by Artwork and I decided that it was time to get a new shirt. The sale pile didn't churn up anything that was in my size and I didn't want a new white shirt so I just got a bluish one that said "Taas Noo." I needed that mantra and thank the gods it came in a shirt.

      I bought a headset after that at CDR-king. It's cheap but it's green. I might go back to buy earphones next time. I need something for late night movie watching.

      I went to David's and got a haircut. I wanted to get bangs. Yikes, right? So good thing the hairstylist let me think about it after she shaped my hair. I didn't want it to get ultra-short so I just asked her to layer it out a bit. This might not be so good because my hair tends to fly away when it's not a certain length. Still my hair isn't so blah now as it was before. Also I need to buy a big-ass bottle of Clear, or so the hair lady said. I might come back for a hot oil just before I go job hunting. It wouldn't hurt to make a better impression. I think I might just have my Batangas salon in David's as I have an LB salon in Dionne's. Oh, double D's.

      I was about to go home when I passed by a Chinese drugstore. I asked them if they had those pills my co-worker drank to suppress her appetite. The attendant was nice and helpful. She gave me good information, simple selling point and not too pushy. I told her I would go back and buy it next time. As I was walking away I realized, I had the money and it was about time. Today was a day towards self-improvement. I had made enough excuses and so I turned around and bought it. I needed to drink it once a day. So I guess it's better than the twice a day pill that my friend took. I just need to drink it before breakfast and then drink water. I guess I will try to exercise along with this while pill thing. I also plan to buy that aloe pill that was good for the skin. I will have to wait for the 5th for that though.

      I went out of the mall and smoke a sole cigarette.

      I felt nice, not great but not worse either. Today was DAY 1 of the Spunky Project. It was not the day that my heart was broken. ^_^

      The keps smile lives on.



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        Excerpt from J.Winterson

        This love exists. Perhaps it is the only thing that exists. It is the buried treasure. The treasure is really there.Fragments, hints, clues, letters, persuade me on. I've come near it sometimes, but like Lancelot outside the Chapel of the Grail, I haven't been able to go in. I may never be able to go in.
        In your face, in your body, as you walk and lie down and eat and read, you have become the lineaments of love. When I touch you I touch something deeper than you. This touches something in me otherwise too sunk to recover.
        I suffer. I intentionally put myself in the way of suffering as a test, as a measure, to see what will be drawn up -- to stop myself from closing up. I don't want to close the wound.
        Love wounds. There is no love that does not pierce the hands and feet. Love's exquisite happiness is also love's exquisite pain. I do not seek pain but there is pain. I do not seek suffering but there is suffering. It is better not to flinch, not to try and avoid those things in love's direction. It is not easy, this love, but only the impossible is worth the effort.
        In the Grail legends Lancelot, the best knight in the world, never does see the Grail because he cannot give up his love for Guinevere. As a moral essay this suggests that human passion is no substitute for divine love and that it prevents us from experiencing love fully. This has been the basis of Christian thought since St Paul.
        There is another reading. Lancelot fails, not because he can't give up Guinevere, but because he can't distinguish between love's symbol and what it represents. All human love is a dramatic enactment of the wild, reckless, unquenchable, undrainable love that powers the universe. If death is everywhere and inescapable, then so is love, if we but knew it. We can begin to know it through each other. The tamer my love, the farther away it is from love. In fierceness, in heat, in longing, in risk, I find something of love's nature. In my desire for you, I burn at the right temperature to walk through love's fire.
        So when you ask me why I cannot love you more calmly, I answer that to love you calmly is not to love you at all.

        J. Winterson's The Powerbook
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          When tears won't come out

          What do you do when you feel like you can't cry but you need to?
          Well, you suck it up and wait for the inevitable tears at a later time.
          In the meantime you need to do that following:
          If you can't sleep, read.
          If reading doesn't help, write.
          Once you are finished writing, publish it on your blog or keep it where you can read it again whenever you feel exactly like how you crappy you are feeling right now.
          In my case I had to look in the mirror and stroke my hair. I had thought, while lying in bed, trying to cry, that I oughta cut my hair like before. Then when I looked in the mirror I felt that my hair deserved better treatment from me. It had endured many summer nights. It has grown so long that it no longer flies away. I had grown it for my cousin's wedding. I had said that after her wedding I would cut it off for convenience. The old me cut her hair whenever she was heartbroken. The new me isn't going to do that. I will endeavor to keep my hair long. Perhaps, I will be a bit more vain about it if I have the money for maintenance.
          I also have a lot to do. I have to finish the comics. I have to make the dialogues and to put everything in order. I have bookmarks to make and preparations to make for the Metrocon. There are other things that would require my attention. And wallowing is so 90's. Time won't wait for me to get over him. I need to face the facts and suck it up. I have things to do. He has his future ahead of him. So do I.
          I have to find a job in mid-August. I have prospects and I have found something that I really like to do. Sure it doesn't pay as much as other jobs but I know that I prefer doing something that I enjoy than earning money doing something that I hate.
          I have novels to finish. I have new friends to keep. I have old friends to be reunited with. My life isn't over just because he is no longer a vital part of it. I need to stop living in the past and looking forward to meeting new people.
          I need to loose weight. I blame this weight on the fact that I had been complacent. I thought I had this great love in my life who would always love me no matter how flabby I got. But I am wrong. I don't like this shape that I am in. It's not because I am fat, it's because the me that is in my head, that has the attitude that I have, doesn't match with my present weightclass. I need to be serious about loosing weight and keeping it off. If there is something that I learned from my mom it is that I shouldn't waste my love and “beauty” on someone who doesn't deserve it.
          I want revenge but not in anyway that can hurt anyone especially not myself. I want to take my angst and bitterness and attack my flabs. I want to take my insomnia and use it to make creative outputs that I can be proud of. I want to come out of this triumphant not embittered. I have been there, I can't be that way.
          The old me can't come back 100% because she was bent on spreading misery. I need to come out of this a better person. I need to learn my lessons well. I need to be a new me. I need to be positive, determined and rational.
          I need to be the kind of person I want my kids to be proud of. Yes, now I want kids. Not yours. Not anymore. I want to be someone that a special person can love. Not you. You are no longer special to me, you are a part of the past. I want to be with someone I don't have to share with anyone else.
          I need to deserve that person. I need to deserve my love.
          Sometimes being beaten to a pulp is a good thing. Because there is no way but up. No way but up.
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            My heart will be free then

            I had a dream that you were with your better half. You were in a house and that you looked happy. You were with your family and you were happy. I felt cold when I saw this. Like the blood was drained out of my body and I could not help but feel the chill embracing me. You didn't think it was a good idea to tell me about your plans of coming home and being with your family. You did get back together with her. It must be my fault. I had pushed you to ask her for your freedom and in the end you ended up pushing you back to the life that you had lost. My life with you is now more than an impossibility and if I push for you and me, then I would be wrecking the home that I saw in my dream. And I am a lot of things but I am not a homewrecker. I had emphasized that a lot time ago. Your life was broken then. I had pushed you to fix that life. I had insisted that you either be with me or be with them. You had told me that you would give it all up for me. But I didn't let you. You are just following my advice now, aren't you. You are just fixing all that is broken in your life. But I had a nightmare. That you were with another woman. She was not your wife, she was not me and she was not someone special. I pity you for becoming your father. A man you hated for what he did to your family. But what are you now? You are him. You are going back to where you were when this all began. I hope it is because of love and family that you are doing this. I hope it is not because you are too much of a coward to be alone. I know that you are braver than that. I hope you are.

            Today the love ends. It is no longer there. It is dead. Whether what I had dreamed of was real or not, I know that you and I are impossible. We are not a match. Granted that you are a great love in my life. The first, but definitely not the last. The cards and fate would not leave me alone. It would balance this betrayal and give me what I deserve. You are, I shall consider for all intencive purposes, my karmic retrebution for all the men I have hurt and maltreated.

            But from today, until the day that I meet the man who would love me more than you ever did, would never lie to me and will always keep his promises, I will do my best to love myself. I will spread this love to all that deserve it. I will not close my heart. I will learn to trust that love is something that I deserve in my life. I know I will love again. Forgetting you will be easier now. Because I know you are a liar. I know that you would rather lie to me than tell me the truth.

            My dreams have spoken. I had thought it was about my friend and his ex. It turns out it was you and yours. It was you and me in that dream.

            I am not sorry that I ever loved you. I will never regret having you in my life. But I know for a fact that I will be better off from now on because I can handle my heart now. I can push the love that blinded me then and make way for a love that would enlighten me, that would make me a better person.

            I was wrong when I told you that you are like my father. I shall henceforth never refer to you as that. Because my father would never do the things that you have done. He is a good man. And somewhere in this universe there is a man like my father, loving, loyal and truthful. And when I meet him I would ask him to love me, if he can't then I would ask him to be my friend.

            You don't have to worry about me. Love will find me and I would be ready then. I won't be afraid to make mistakes. Why? Because I would not be foolish enough to fall for you again. Once is enough.

            Have a nice life. You don't have to worry about revenge. I would not push my heart into the darkness again. I will in fact just let you go. I will love again. You can be sure of it.

            And I will be free of you then.
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              Mig Ayesa Fangirl V.02


              I was supposed to get this package before my birthday. I actually saw the May 28, 2010 stamp covered with a stamp that said June. But I can't really feel angry about the whole post office fiasco because I have in my hands two GOT MIG shirts (one for me and one for my college best friend and fellow Mig Ayesa addict, Reina), two Mig sampler CDs and my very own Happy Birthday Simone Mig Ayesa album. Did I die and go to Fangirl heaven?
              I would love nothing else but to put all the pictures here but my abysmal plug-in internet connection would not allow it. But still, this is a true inspiration. I plan to never wear that shirt unless my friend is with me and we are either together after so many years of being apart OR going back in time to that MTV concert where I got hit with mudballs by some punkholes. We didn't get to see him because my friend's bf was sick and I couldn't stay without her. If we could only go back in time knowing the things that we know now, we would have stayed, I would have let her scream at Mig and got that autograph right there and then.

              But God has a way of giving you what you wish for if it's meant to be yours. So my friend got a new lease on love, and I got us the autographs that I cost her that day because I was being shy. (which is out of character for me)

              I know that things in our lives didn't turn out as we had planned. And the loves of our lives didn't turn out to be princes that we had hoped them to be. But there would always be bards who would play for us and give us hope.

              Mig, you will always rock!

              To Miss Lily, you are an angel. Thank you!

              Keep the music alive!
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                Pnoy's SONA 2010

                http://pinoyworld.org/blog/full-transcript-text-of-president-benigno-noynoy-aquino-iii-sona-2010-speech/

                State of the Nation Address
                of His Excellency
                Benigno S. Aquino III
                President of the Philippines
                to the Congress of the Philippines
                Session Hall of the House of Representatives
                July 26, 2010

                AQUINO DELIVERS FIRST SONA

                Speaker Feliciano Belmonte; Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile; Vice President Jejomar Binay; Chief Justice Renato Corona; Former Presidents Fidel Valdez Ramos and Joseph Ejercito Estrada; members of the House of Representatives and the Senate; distinguished members of the diplomatic corps; my fellow workers in government;
                Mga minamahal kong kababayan:
                Sa bawat sandali po ng pamamahala ay nahaharap tayo sa isang sangandaan.
                Sa isang banda po ay ang pagpili para sa ikabubuti ng taumbayan. Ang pagtanaw sa interes ng nakakarami; ang pagkapit sa prinsipyo; at ang pagiging tapat sa sinumpaan nating tungkulin bilang lingkod-bayan. Ito po ang tuwid na daan.
                Sa kabilang banda ay ang pag-una sa pansariling interes. Ang pagpapaalipin sa pulitikal na konsiderasyon, at pagsasakripisyo ng kapakanan ng taumbayan. Ito po ang baluktot na daan.

                GOV'T HAS LONG STRAYED TO THE CROOKED PATH
                Matagal pong naligaw ang pamahalaan sa daang baluktot. Araw-araw po, lalong lumilinaw sa akin ang lawak ng problemang ating namana. Damang-dama ko ang bigat ng aking responsibilidad.
                Sa unang tatlong linggo ng aming panunungkulan, marami po kaming natuklasan. Nais ko pong ipahayag sa inyo ang iilan lamang sa mga namana nating suliranin at ang ginagawa naming hakbang para lutasin ang mga ito.

                RP'S PROBLEMS WIDE-RANGING; TRUE STATE OF THE NATION KEPT SECRET FROM THE PUBLIC
                Sulyap lamang po ito; hindi pa ito ang lahat ng problemang haharapin natin. Inilihim at sadyang iniligaw ang sambayanan sa totoong kalagayan ng ating bansa.
                PROBLEMA SA BUDGET

                Sa unang anim na buwan ng taon, mas malaki ang ginastos ng gobyerno kaysa sa pumasok na kita. Lalong lumaki ang deficit natin, na umakyat na sa 196.7 billion pesos. Sa target na kuleksyon, kinapos tayo ng 23.8 billion pesos; ang tinataya namang gastos, nalagpasan natin ng 45.1 billion pesos.
                Ang budget po sa 2010 ay 1.54 trillion pesos.

                Nasa isandaang bilyong piso o anim at kalahating porsyento na lang ng kabuuan ang malaya nating magagamit para sa nalalabing anim na buwan ng taong ito.
                Halos isang porsyento na lang po ng kabuuang budget ang natitira para sa bawat buwan.
                Saan naman po dinala ang pera?

                CALAMITY FUND
                Naglaan ng dalawang bilyong piso na Calamity Fund bilang paghahanda para sa mga kalamidad na hindi pa nangyayari. Napakaliit na nga po ng pondong ito, ngunit kapapasok pa lang natin sa panahon ng baha at bagyo, 1.4 billion pesos o sitenta porsyento na ang nagastos.
                Sa kabuuan ng 108 million pesos para sa lalawigan ng Pampanga, 105 million pesos nito ay napunta sa iisang distrito lamang.

                ONE DISTRICT IN PAMPANGA GOT P105M; PANGASINAN ONLY GOT P5M FOR 2008 CALAMITY
                Samantala, ang lalawigan ng Pangasinan na sinalanta ng Pepeng ay nakatanggap ng limang milyong piso lamang para sa pinsalang idinulot ng bagyong Cosme, na nangyari noong 2008 pa.


                FUNDS FOR PAMPANGA GIVEN ON ELECTION MONTH, 7 MOS. AFTER "ONDOY", "PEPENG"
                Ibinigay po ang pondo ng Pampanga sa buwan ng eleksyon, pitong buwan pagkatapos ng Ondoy at Pepeng. Paano kung bumagyo bukas? Inubos na ang pondo nito para sa bagyong nangyari noong isang taon pa. Pagbabayaran ng kinabukasan ang kasakiman ng nakaraan.
                MWSS

                Ganyan din po ang nangyari sa pondo ng MWSS. Kamakailan lamang, pumipila ang mga tao para lang makakuha ng tubig. Sa kabila nito, minabuti pa ng liderato ng MWSS na magbigay ng gantimpala sa sarili kahit hindi pa nababayaran ang pensyon ng mga retiradong empleyado.
                Noong 2009, ang buong payroll ng MWSS ay 51.4 million pesos. Pero hindi lang naman po ito ang sahod nila; may mga additional allowances at benefits pa sila na aabot sa 160.1 million pesos. Sa madaling sabi, nakatanggap sila ng 211.5 million pesos noong nakaraang taon. Beinte-kuwatro porsyento lang nito ang normal na sahod, at sitenta'y sais porsyento ang dagdag.
                Ang karaniwang manggagawa hanggang 13th month pay plus cash gift lang ang nakukuha. Sa MWSS, aabot sa katumbas ng mahigit sa tatlumpung buwan ang sahod kasama na ang lahat ng mga bonuses at allowances na nakuha nila.
                Mas matindi po ang natuklasan natin sa pasahod ng kanilang Board of Trustees. Tingnan po natin ang mga allowances na tinatanggap nila:
                Umupo ka lang sa Board of Trustees at Board Committee meeting, katorse mil na. Aabot ng nobenta'y otso mil ito kada buwan. May grocery incentive pa sila na otsenta mil kada taon.
                Hindi lang iyon: may mid-year bonus, productivity bonus, anniversary bonus, year-end bonus, at Financial Assistance. May Christmas bonus na, may Additional Christmas Package pa. Kada isa sa mga ito, nobenta'y otso mil.
                Sa suma total po, aabot ang lahat ng dalawa't kalahating milyong piso kada taon sa bawat miyembro ng Board maliban sa pakotse, technical assistance, at pautang. Uulitin ko po. Lahat ng ito ay ibinibigay nila sa kanilang mga sarili habang hindi pa nababayaran ang mga pensyon ng kanilang mga retirees.
                Pati po ang La Mesa Watershed ay hindi nila pinatawad. Para magkaroon ng tamang supply ng tubig, kailangang alagaan ang mga watershed. Sa watershed, puno ang kailangan. Pati po iyon na dapat puno ang nakatayo, tinayuan nila ng bahay para sa matataas na opisyal ng MWSS.
                Hindi naman sila agad maaalis sa puwesto dahil kabilang sila sa mga Midnight Appointees ni dating Pangulong Arroyo. Iniimbestigahan na natin ang lahat nang ito. Kung mayroon pa silang kahit kaunting hiya na natitira - sana kusa na lang silang magbitiw sa puwesto.

                ROAD USERS' FUND
                Pag-usapan naman po natin ang pondo para sa imprastruktura. Tumukoy ang DPWH ng dalawandaan apatnapu't anim na priority safety projects na popondohan ng Motor Vehicle Users Charge. Mangangailangan po ito ng budget na 425 million pesos.
                Ang pinondohan po, dalawampu't walong proyekto lang. Kinalimutan po ang dalawandaan at labing walong proyekto at pinalitan ng pitumpung proyekto na wala naman sa plano. Ang hininging 425 million pesos, naging 480 million pesos pa, lumaki lalo dahil sa mga proyektong sa piling-piling mga benepisyaryo lang napunta.
                Mga proyekto po itong walang saysay, hindi pinag-aralan at hindi pinaghandaan, kaya parang kabuteng sumusulpot.
                Tapos na po ang panahon para dito. Sa administrasyon po natin, walang kota-kota, walang tongpats, ang pera ng taumbayan ay gagastusin para sa taumbayan lamang.

                NEGOTIATED CONTRACTS
                Meron pa po tayong natuklasan. Limang araw bago matapos ang termino ng nakaraang administrasyon, nagpautos silang maglabas ng 3.5 billion pesos para sa rehabilitasyon ng mga nasalanta nina Ondoy at Pepeng.
                Walumpu't anim na proyekto ang paglalaanan dapat nito na hindi na sana idadaan sa public bidding. Labingsiyam sa mga ito na nagkakahalaga ng 981 million pesos ang muntik nang makalusot. Hindi pa nailalabas ang Special Allotment Release Order ay pirmado na ang mga kontrata.
                Buti na lang po ay natuklasan at pinigilan ito ni Secretary Rogelio Singson ng DPWH. Ngayon po ay dadaan na ang kabuuan ng 3.5 billion pesos sa tapat na bidding, at magagamit na ang pondo na ito sa pagbibigay ng lingap sa mga nawalan ng tahanan dahil kina Ondoy at Pepeng.

                NAPOCOR
                Pag-usapan naman natin ang nangyari sa NAPOCOR. Noong 2001 hanggang 2004, pinilit ng gobyerno ang NAPOCOR na magbenta ng kuryente nang palugi para hindi tumaas ang presyo. Tila ang dahilan: pinaghahandaan na nila ang eleksyon.
                Dahil dito, noong 2004, sumagad ang pagkakabaon sa utang ng NAPOCOR. Napilitan ang pambansang gobyerno na sagutin ang dalawandaang bilyong pisong utang nito.
                Ang inakala ng taumbayan na natipid nila sa kuryente ay binabayaran din natin mula sa kaban ng bayan. May gastos na tayo sa kuryente, binabayaran pa natin ang dagdag na pagkakautang ng gobyerno.
                Kung naging matino ang pag-utang, sana'y nadagdagan ang ating kasiguruhan sa supply ng kuryente. Pero ang desisyon ay ibinatay sa maling pulitika, at hindi sa pangangailangan ng taumbayan. Ang taumbayan, matapos pinagsakripisyo ay lalo pang pinahirapan.

                MRT
                Ganito rin po ang nangyari sa MRT. Sinubukan na namang bilhin ang ating pagmamahal. Pinilit ang operator na panatilihing mababa ang pamasahe.
                Hindi tuloy nagampanan ang garantiyang ibinigay sa operator na mababawi nila ang kanilang puhunan. Dahil dito, inutusan ang Landbank at Development Bank of the Philippines na bilhin ang MRT.
                Ang pera ng taumbayan, ipinagpalit sa isang naluluging operasyon.

                NFA
                Dumako naman po tayo sa pondo ng NFA.
                Noong 2004: 117,000 metric tons ang pagkukulang ng supply ng Pilipinas. Ang binili nila, 900,000 metric tons. Kahit ulitin mo pa ng mahigit pitong beses ang pagkukulang, sobra pa rin ang binili nila.
                Noong 2007: 589,000 metric tons ang pagkukulang ng supply sa Pilipinas. Ang binili nila, 1.827 million metric tons. Kahit ulitin mo pa ng mahigit tatlong beses ang pagkukulang, sobra na naman ang binili nila.
                Ang masakit nito, dahil sobra-sobra ang binibili nila taun-taon, nabubulok lang pala sa mga kamalig ang bigas, kagaya ng nangyari noong 2008.
                Hindi po ba krimen ito, na hinahayaan nilang mabulok ang bigas, sa kabila ng apat na milyong Pilipinong hindi kumakain ng tatlong beses sa isang araw?
                Ang resulta nito, umabot na sa 171.6 billion pesos ang utang ng NFA noong Mayo ng taong ito.
                Ang tinapon na ito, halos puwede na sanang pondohan ang mga sumusunod:
                Ang budget ng buong Hudikatura, na 12.7 billion pesos sa taong ito.
                Ang Conditional Cash Transfers para sa susunod na taon, na nagkakahalaga ng 29.6 billion pesos.
                Ang lahat ng classroom na kailangan ng ating bansa, na nagkakahalaga ng 130 billion pesos.
                Kasuklam-suklam ang kalakarang ito. Pera na, naging bato pa.

                ZERO BUDGET
                Narinig po ninyo kung paano nilustay ang kaban ng bayan. Ang malinaw po sa ngayon: ang anumang pagbabago ay magmumula sa pagsiguro natin na magwawakas na ang pagiging maluho at pagwawaldas.
                Kaya nga po mula ngayon: ititigil na natin ang paglulustay sa salapi ng bayan. Tatanggalin natin ang mga proyektong mali.
                Ito po ang punto ng tinatawag nating zero-based approach sa ating budget. Ang naging kalakaran po, taun-taon ay inuulit lamang ang budget na puno ng tagas. Dadagdagan lang nang konti, puwede na.
                Sa susunod na buwan ay maghahain tayo ng budget na kumikilala nang tama sa mga problema, at magtutuon din ng pansin sa tamang solusyon.

                IMMEDIATE STEPS
                TAX EVASION
                Ilan lang ito sa mga natuklasan nating problema. Heto naman po ang ilang halimbawa ng mga hakbang na ginagawa natin.
                Nandiyan po ang kaso ng isang may-ari ng sanglaan. Bumili siya ng sasakyang tinatayang nasa dalawampu't anim na milyong piso ang halaga.
                Kung kaya mong bumili ng Lamborghini, bakit hindi mo kayang magbayad ng buwis?
                Nasampahan na po ito ng kaso. Sa pangunguna nina Finance Secretary Cesar Purisima, Justice Secretary Leila de Lima, BIR Commissioner Kim Henares at Customs Commissioner Lito Alvarez, bawat linggo po ay may bago tayong kasong isinasampa kontra sa mga smuggler at sa mga hindi nagbabayad ng tamang buwis.

                EXTRALEGAL KILLINGS
                Natukoy na rin po ang salarin sa mga kaso nina Francisco Baldomero, Jose Daguio at Miguel Belen, tatlo sa anim na insidente ng extralegal killings mula nang umupo tayo.
                Singkuwenta porsyento po ng mga insidente ng extralegal killings ang patungo na sa kanilang resolusyon.
                Ang natitira pong kalahati ay hindi natin tatantanan ang pag-usig hanggang makamit ang katarungan.

                TRUTH COMMISSION
                Pananagutin natin ang mga mamamatay-tao. Pananagutin din natin ang mga corrupt sa gobyerno.
                Nagsimula nang mabuo ang ating Truth Commission, sa pangunguna ni dating Chief Justice Hilario Davide. Hahanapin natin ang katotohanan sa mga nangyari diumanong katiwalian noong nakaraang siyam na taon.
                Sa loob ng linggong ito, pipirmahan ko ang kauna-unahang Executive Order na nagtatalaga sa pagbuo nitong Truth Commission.

                PUBLIC-PRIVATE PARTNERSHIPS
                Kung ang sagot sa kawalan ng katarungan ay pananagutan, ang sagot naman sa kakulangan natin sa pondo ay mga makabago at malikhaing paraan para tugunan ang mga pagkatagal-tagal nang problema.
                Napakarami po ng ating pangangailangan: mula sa edukasyon, imprastruktura, pangkalusugan, pangangailangan ng militar at kapulisan, at marami pang iba. Hindi kakasya ang pondo para mapunan ang lahat ng ito.
                Kahit gaano po kalaki ang kakulangan para mapunan ang mga listahan ng ating pangangailangan, ganado pa rin ako dahil marami nang nagpakita ng panibagong interes at kumpyansa sa Pilipinas.
                Ito ang magiging solusyon: mga Public-Private Partnerships. Kahit wala pa pong pirmahang nangyayari dito, masasabi kong maganda ang magiging bunga ng maraming usapin ukol dito.
                May mga nagpakita na po ng interes, gustong magtayo ng expressway na mula Maynila, tatahak ng Bulacan, Nueva Ecija, Nueva Vizcaya, hanggang sa dulo ng Cagayan Valley nang hindi gugugol ang estado kahit na po piso.
                Sa larangan ng ating Sandatahang Lakas:
                Mayroon po tayong 36,000 nautical miles ng baybayin. Ang mayroon lamang tayo: tatlumpu't dalawang barko. Itong mga barkong ito, panahon pa ni MacArthur.
                May nagmungkahi sa atin, ito ang proposisyon: uupahan po nila ang headquarters ng Navy sa Roxas Boulevard at ang Naval Station sa Fort Bonifacio.
                Sagot po nila ang paglipat ng Navy Headquarters sa Camp Aguinaldo. Agaran, bibigyan tayo ng isandaang milyong dolyar. At dagdag pa sa lahat nang iyan, magsusubi pa sila sa atin ng kita mula sa mga negosyong itatayo nila sa uupahan nilang lupa.
                Sa madali pong sabi: Makukuha natin ang kailangan natin, hindi tatayo gagastos, kikita pa tayo.
                Marami na pong nag-alok at nagmungkahi sa atin, mula lokal hanggang dayuhang negosyante, na magpuno ng iba't ibang pangangailangan.
                Mula sa mga public-private partnerships na ito, lalago ang ating ekonomiya, at bawat Pilipino makikinabang. Napakaraming sektor na matutulungan nito.
                Maipapatayo na po ang imprastrukturang kailangan natin para palaguin ang turismo.
                Sa agrikultura, makapagtatayo na tayo ng mga grains terminals, refrigeration facilities, maayos na road networks at post-harvest facilities.
                Kung maisasaayos natin ang ating food supply chain sa tulong ng pribadong sektor, sa halip na mag-angkat tayo ay maari na sana tayong mangarap na mag-supply sa pandaigdigang merkado.
                Kung maitatayo ang minumungkahi sa ating railway system, bababa ang presyo ng bilihin. Mas mura, mas mabilis, mas maginhawa, at makakaiwas pa sa kotong cops at mga kumokotong na rebelde ang mga bumibiyahe.

                STREAMLINING PROCESSES
                Paalala lang po: una sa ating plataporma ang paglikha ng mga trabaho, at nanggagaling ang trabaho sa paglago ng industriya. Lalago lamang ang industriya kung gagawin nating mas malinis, mas mabilis, at mas maginhawa ang proseso para sa mga gustong magnegosyo.
                Pabibilisin natin ang proseso ng mga proyektong sumasailalim sa Build-Operate-Transfer. Sa tulong ng lahat ng sangay ng gobyerno at ng mga mamamayan, pabababain natin sa anim na buwan ang proseso na noon ay inaabot ng taon kung hindi dekada.
                May mga hakbang na rin pong sinisimulan ang DTI, sa pamumuno ni Secretary Gregory Domingo:
                Ang walang-katapusang pabalik-balik sa proseso ng pagrehistro ng pangalan ng kumpanya, na kada dalaw ay umaabot ng apat hanggang walong oras, ibababa na natin sa labinlimang minuto.
                Ang dating listahan ng tatlumpu't anim na dokumento, ibababa natin sa anim. Ang dating walong pahinang application form, ibababa natin sa isang pahina.
                Nananawagan ako sa ating mga LGUs. Habang naghahanap tayo ng paraan para gawing mas mabilis ang pagbubukas ng mga negosyo, pag-aralan din sana nila ang kanilang mga proseso. Kailangan itong gawing mas mabilis, at kailangan itong itugma sa mga sinisumulan nating reporma.
                Negosyante, sundalo, rebelde, at karaniwang Pilipino, lahat po makikinabang dito. Basta po hindi dehado ang Pilipino, papasukin po natin lahat iyan. Kailangan na po nating simulan ang pagtutulungan para makamit ito. Huwag nating pahirapan ang isa't isa.
                Parating na po ang panahon na hindi na natin kailangang mamili sa pagitan ng seguridad ng ating mamamayan o sa kinabukasan ng inyong mga anak.

                FREEING UP FUNDS
                EDUCATION
                Oras na maipatupad ang public-private partnerships na ito, mapopondohan ang mga serbisyong panlipunan, alinsunod sa ating plataporma.
                Magkakapondo na po para maipatupad ang mga plano natin sa edukasyon.
                Mapapalawak natin ang basic education cycle mula sa napakaikling sampung taon tungo sa global standard na labindalawang taon.
                Madadagdagan natin ang mga classroom. Mapopondohan natin ang service contracting sa ilalim ng GASTPE.
                Pati ang conditional cash transfers, na magbabawas ng pabigat sa bulsa ng mga pamilya, madadagdan na rin ng pondo.

                PHILHEALTH
                Maipapatupad ang plano natin sa PhilHealth.
                Una, tutukuyin natin ang tunay na bilang ng mga nangangailangan nito. Sa ngayon, hindi magkakatugma ang datos. Sabi ng PhilHealth sa isang bibig, walumpu't pitong porsyento na raw ang merong coverage. Sa kabilang bibig naman, singkuwenta'y tres porsyento naman. Ayon naman sa National Statistics Office, tatlumpu't walong porsyento ang may coverage.
                Ngayon pa lang, kumikilos na si Secretary Dinky Soliman at ang DSWD upang ipatupad ang National Household Targetting System, na magtutukoy sa mga pamilyang higit na nagangailangan ng tulong. Tinatayang siyam na bilyon ang kailangan para mabigyan ng PhilHealth ang limang milyong pinakamaralitang pamilyang Pilipino.

                LEGISLATIVE AGENDA
                Napakaganda po ng hinaharap natin. Kasama na po natin ang pribadong sektor, at kasama na rin natin ang League of Provinces, sa pangunguna nina Governor Alfonso Umali kasama sina Governor L-Ray Villafuerte at Governor Icot Petilla. Handa na pong makipagtulungan para makibahagi sa pagtustos ng mga gastusin. Alam ko rin pong hindi magpapahuli ang League of Cities sa pangunguna ni Mayor Oscar Rodriguez.
                Kung ang mga gobyernong lokal ay nakikiramay na sa ating mga adhikain, ang Kongreso namang pinanggalingan ko, siguro naman maasahan ko din.
                Nagpakitang-gilas na po ang gabinete sa pagtukoy ng ating mga problema at sa paglulunsad ng mga solusyon sa loob lamang ng tatlong linggo.
                Nang bagyo pong Basyang, ang sabi sa atin ng mga may prangkisa sa kuryente, apat na araw na walang kuryente. Dahil sa mabilis na pagkilos ni Secretary Rene Almendras at ng Department of Energy, naibalik ang kuryente sa halos lahat sa loob lamang ng beinte-kwatro oras.
                Ito pong sinasabing kakulangan sa tubig sa Metro Manila, kinilusan agad ni Secretary Rogelio Singson at ng DPWH. Hindi na siya naghintay ng utos, kaya nabawasan ang perwisyo.
                Nakita na rin natin ang gilas ng mga hinirang nating makatulong sa Gabinete. Makatuwiran naman po sigurong umasa na hindi na sila padadaanin sa butas ng karayom para makumpirma ng Commission on Appointments. Kung mangyayari po ito, marami pa sa mga mahuhusay na Pilipino ang maeengganyong magsilbi sa gobyerno.
                Sa lalong madaling panahon po, uupo na tayo sa LEDAC at pag-uusapan ang mga mahahalagang batas na kailangan nating ipasa. Makakaasa kayo na mananatiling bukas ang aking isipan, at ang ating ugnayan ay mananatiling tapat.
                Isinusulong po natin ang Fiscal Responsibility Bill, kung saan hindi tayo magpapasa ng batas na mangangailangan ng pondo kung hindi pa natukoy ang panggagalingan nito. May 104.1 billion pesos tayong kailangan para pondohan ang mga batas na naipasa na, ngunit hindi maipatupad.
                Kailangan din nating isaayos ang mga insentibong piskal na ibinigay noong nakaraan. Ngayong naghihigpit tayo ng sinturon, kailangang balikan kung alin sa mga ito ang dapat manatili at kung ano ang dapat nang itigil.
                Huwag po tayong pumayag na magkaroon ng isa pang NBN-ZTE. Sa lokal man o dayuhan manggagaling ang pondo, dapat dumaan ito sa tamang proseso. Hinihingi ko po ang tulong ninyo upang amiyendahan ang ating Procurement Law.
                Ayon po sa Saligang Batas, tungkulin ng estado ang siguruhing walang lamangan sa merkado. Bawal ang monopolya, bawal ang mga cartel na sasakal sa kumpetisyon. Kailangan po natin ng isang Anti-Trust Law na magbibigay-buhay sa mga prinsipyong ito. Ito ang magbibigay ng pagkakataon sa mga Small- at Medium-scale Enterprises na makilahok at tumulong sa paglago ng ating ekonomiya.
                Ipasa na po natin ang National Land Use Bill.
                Una rin pong naging batas ng Commonwealth ang National Defense Act, na ipinasa noon pang 1935. Kailangan nang palitan ito ng batas na tutugon sa pangangailangan ng pambansang seguridad sa kasalukuyan.
                Nakikiusap po akong isulong ang Whistleblower's Bill upang patuloy nang iwaksi ang kultura ng takot at pananahimik.
                Palalakasin pa lalo ang Witness Protection Program. Alalahanin po natin na noong taong 2009 hanggang 2010, may nahatulan sa 95% ng mga kaso kung saan may witness na sumailalim sa programang ito.
                Kailangang repasuhin ang ating mga batas. Nanawagan po akong umpisahan na ang rekodipikasyon ng ating mga batas, upang siguruhing magkakatugma sila at hindi salu-salungat.

                PEACE PROCESS
                Ito pong mga batas na ito ang batayan ng kaayusan, ngunit ang pundasyon ng lahat ng ginagawa natin ay ang prinsipyong wala tayong mararating kung walang kapayapaan at katahimikan.
                Dalawa ang hinaharap nating suliranin sa usapin ng kapayapaan: ang situwasyon sa Mindanao, at ang patuloy na pag-aaklas ng CPP-NPA-NDF.
                Tungkol sa situwasyon sa Mindanao: Hindi po nagbabago ang ating pananaw. Mararating lamang ang kapayapaan at katahimikan kung mag-uusap ang lahat ng apektado: Moro, Lumad, at Kristiyano. Inatasan na natin si Dean Marvic Leonen na mangasiwa sa ginagawa nating pakikipag-usap sa MILF.
                Iiwasan natin ang mga pagkakamaling nangyari sa nakaraang administrasyon, kung saan binulaga na lang ang mga mamamayan ng Mindanao. Hindi tayo puwedeng magbulag-bulagan sa mga dudang may kulay ng pulitika ang proseso, at hindi ang kapakanan ng taumbayan ang tanging interes.
                Kinikilala natin ang mga hakbang na ginagawa ng MILF sa pamamagitan ng pagdidisplina sa kanilang hanay. Inaasahan natin na muling magsisimula ang negosasyon pagkatapos ng Ramadan.
                Tungkol naman po sa CPP-NPA-NDF: handa na ba kayong maglaan ng kongkretong mungkahi, sa halip na pawang batikos lamang?
                Kung kapayapaan din ang hangad ninyo, handa po kami sa malawakang tigil-putukan. Mag-usap tayo.
                Mahirap magsimula ang usapan habang mayroon pang amoy ng pulbura sa hangin. Nananawagan ako: huwag po natin hayaang masayang ang napakagandang pagkakataong ito upang magtipon sa ilalim ng iisang adhikain.
                Kapayapaan at katahimikan po ang pundasyon ng kaunlaran. Habang nagpapatuloy ang barilan, patuloy din ang pagkakagapos natin sa kahirapan.

                PANAWAGAN
                Dapat din po nating mabatid: ito ay panahon ng sakripisyo. At ang sakripisyong ito ay magiging puhunan para sa ating kinabukasan. Kaakibat ng ating mga karapatan at kalayaan ay ang tungkulin natin sa kapwa at sa bayan.
                Inaasahan ko po ang ating mga kaibigan sa media, lalo na sa radyo at sa print, sa mga nagbablock-time, at sa community newspapers, kayo na po mismo ang magbantay sa inyong hanay.
                Mabigyang-buhay sana ang mga batayang prinsipyo ng inyong bokasyon: ang magbigay-linaw sa mahahalagang isyu; ang maging patas at makatotohanan, at ang itaas ang antas ng pampublikong diskurso.
                Tungkulin po ng bawat Pilipino na tutukan ang mga pinunong tayo rin naman ang nagluklok sa puwesto. Humakbang mula sa pakikialam tungo sa pakikilahok. Dahil ang nakikialam, walang-hanggan ang reklamo. Ang nakikilahok, nakikibahagi sa solusyon.
                Napakatagal na pong namamayani ang pananaw na ang susi sa asenso ay ang intindihin ang sarili kaysa intindihin ang kapwa. Malinaw po sa akin: paano tayo aasenso habang nilalamangan ang kapwa?
                Ang hindi nabigyan ng pagkakataong mag-aral, paanong makakakuha ng trabaho? Kung walang trabaho, paanong magiging konsumer? Paanong mag-iimpok sa bangko?
                Ngunit kung babaliktarin natin ang pananaw-kung iisipin nating "Dadagdagan ko ang kakayahan ng aking kapwa"-magbubunga po ito, at ang lahat ay magkakaroon ng pagkakataon.
                Maganda na po ang nasimulan natin. At mas lalong maganda po ang mararating natin. Ngunit huwag nating kalimutan na mayroong mga nagnanasang hindi tayo magtagumpay. Dahil kapag hindi tayo nagtagumpay, makakabalik na naman sila sa kapangyarihan, at sa pagsasamantala sa taumbayan.
                Akin pong paniwala na Diyos at taumbayan ang nagdala sa ating kinalalagyan ngayon. Habang nakatutok tayo sa kapakanan ng ating kapwa, bendisyon at patnubay ay tiyak na maaasahan natin sa Poong Maykapal. At kapag nanalig tayo na ang kasangga natin ay ang Diyos, mayroon ba tayong hindi kakayanin?
                Ang mandato nating nakuha sa huling eleksyon ay patunay na umaasa pa rin ang Pilipino sa pagbabago. Iba na talaga ang situwasyon. Puwede na muling mangarap. Tayo nang tumungo sa katuparan ng ating mga pinangarap.
                Maraming salamat po.

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                  Confessions of a tone-deaf Gleek


                  I heard from someone once, a person who sings very well and who has a lot of music in his life, say that he doesn't really understand why people love Glee. I respect his opinion but I have to disagree, watching this show does something for me. It makes me think that like the musicals that I like, maybe just maybe, it's okay to burst into song while leading a regular life.
                  You see, I can't sing. And I only dance in the dark. For girls like me who can't sing out their feelings in that beautiful voice in their head, watching something like that makes a gloomy day seem ordinary and an ordinary day, an inspiring one. I am not as much of a Gleek as everyone I know but it makes me smile and that is enough.
                  Someday. I will have a song in my heart that would be a duet. I just need to find that male soloist who would sing it with me. ^_^


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                    Last One

                    This is the last blog that I would write in this cubicle, using this workstation and in this company.

                    All's well that ends well.

                    I guess.
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                      Love is like holding sand

                      Sand runs through my fingers
                      As I imagined her holding my hand
                      Once again there is hope in
                      The once great love of my life

                      But she doesn't warm up
                      Although she usually smiles
                      I can't feel the love that was
                      There once upon a blissful life

                      Could it be that she does not
                      Feel the same way that I do
                      Not a day passed that I didn't
                      Etch her face in the ceiling

                      I had tried to remember
                      Everything that I know about her
                      Clearly there is something I miss
                      Or maybe something changed forever

                      I asked her many times
                      If she missed me at all
                      She would smile and reply
                      With a different question

                      Could it be that my love
                      Has really forgotten about me
                      Three years must be a lifetime
                      In the heart of those left behind

                      I had gotten her forgiveness
                      She said she did not mind
                      But somehow I had anticipated
                      That there would be hell to pay

                      That way I would feel
                      Somehow I would know
                      That she waited and
                      Had hoped like I

                      072310 Simone
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                        Pink Tarha girls inspire Pinaywriter

                        If it wasn't for them going gaga over PEBA last year, I wouldn't even know what it was. So after the Pink Tarha ladies put on their Family First For PEBA 2010 blog entry, I made my own My mom's quasi-orphanage. 

                        I didn't really know that my entry was okay enough to get in since I knew it was open for Expat blogs. I was happy to find out that there was a niche for non-OFW or OFW-supporters entries. ^_^ I actually went through a sort of high when I found out. I have always been a coward when it comes to joining writing contests although I am a writing major. I keep thinking that random thoughts do not make for a good entry. But what do you know I am Nominee #2 ^_^.
                        So here is how you can vote for you favorite OFW supporter or Blog.


                        1. Click on the nominee badge on the sidebar of the blog. 
                        2. It would lead you to the PEBA 2010 Nominees page. Click on CLICK HERE TO VOTE


                        3.Click on the box on the left of your favorite entry. I am #2 on the PEBA SUPPORTER NOMINEES.Please be reminded that it counts unique hits. So tell all your friends about your entry. Ask them to read it, share their thoughts as well as vote for you! Remind them to click SUBMIT VOTE. ^_^ If they want to know how many votes you already have, they can check current results.



                        If you know anyone who is an OFW or a blogger who knows, loves and misses someone who is an OFW, then encourage them to share their experiences, thoughts and votes to PEBA. If not this year, then maybe next time. ^_^
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                          Why you shouldn't recycle relationships

                          The very few readers and most of my friends have been witnesses to my meltdown when I found my ex online while I was on one of my random find a friend on Friendster. I was in such a FS hiatus that I actually had to retrieve my password because I couldn't remember it. Suffice to say, my "I will be okay soon" and find love again program was shattered beyond imagining.

                          Fast forward, past the "Let's just be friend" calls and "Do you miss me?" inuendos, I am now trying to be just friends with my ex. I have chatted with him a couple of times and I didn't fell like he disappointed me unlike how I felt when I received calls from him for a couple of days then didn't on the third.

                          I knew I was falling into patterns again.

                          This time, no matter how Gil (the gay friend I made through all of this ex-boyfriend fiasco and reason why my ex found out my new number) says my ex still loves me (I think I know for a fact that he still does, the guy has the emotional memory of a penguin) I can't let myself be anything more than his friend.

                          I feel awkward not telling him that "Yes, I do love you. I still do. But not in the way that I did before and not in the way that can save you from the rut that you were in and the kind that would wait around for you." I feel like a bad person for answering his "Do you miss me?" with "No, not really. Just when I see you or talk to you." because I have more things on my plate than I am able to take in mouthfuls. Somehow I am in the "find a hobby" phase of JI's school of getting over and I don't have time to think about him except for the last thought before I sleep and the first one when I wake up.

                          I know that at times he is not the last thought in my mind and the first one when I wake up. But that usually involves me being insomniac or hung over. I fear that one of these days I would wake up like I did one October morning and I had officially gotten over the pangs and the pulls of my love for Louie.

                          I have only been on square one twice in my emotional life. If three's a charm remains to be seen.

                          But what I really want now is the feeling of actual freedom. I want to be his friend because I know he needs it. I don't want to keep his hopes up on what will happen between us because inspite the fact that I would love him for the rest of my life, it would be, at some point in our lives, be the kind of love that is akin to caring for a person who you once held hands with and kissed.

                          In two years, five months and ten days I will be okay. I will be ready to meet the guy the cards says would love me as much as HE did...does.

                          But I wonder, who would love him then?
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                            My Mom's Quasi-orphanage by Niña Simon

                            My mother has never been out of the country.
                            She has never been on an airplane.
                            But she has been a surrogate mother to so many children of OFWs that it seems her burden has been heavier than those who have left their kids.
                            My Tita Loida is a domestic helper in Hong Kong. She left her young daughters in my mother's care.
                            My Tito Pako is in Italy. He met his wife, a Bulaceña in Italy. They have two kids. My mother constantly checks on their children who are in Bulacan.
                            My Tita Clemen is in Dubai. My uncle died while she was away. She left her two sons in my mother's care.
                            Batangueños are known for being extremely clannish. This is true for most Filipinos here and abroad. In the beginning, poverty was the reason why people left the country. Now, they can't seem to find a reason to come back. I fear that some of them have forgotten why they left in the first place.
                            People like my mother bridge the gap between those who are left behind and those who are in another land.
                            For the longest time I have heard about and seen relatives leave Batangas, Isabela, and Laguna to try their luck in earning more money for their families. In the beginning it was the men. They braved the desert, the haughty Europeans, and the discrimination that came with doing manual labor. This was considered the right thing to do for men since they needed to be the provider for their families. People perceived that the fathers were doing their paternal duty in leaving their wives and kids in the Philippines.
                            Then came waves and waves of mothers leaving their toddlers. I suddenly had two female cousins living in our house most of the time. People didn't like this new trend. Fathers that were left behind could barely function with work and housework in their hands. Somehow it was the woman's fault if the family didn't survive this change. She ruined everything for leaving them behind.Even if their husbands were the ones who didn't keep his vows, somehow people chewed out the woman instead of the man. “He was lonely”, they would say. I couldn't help but shake my head when I heard that.
                            My mom raised us alongside my “adoptive” sisters. I often hear her roll call for the people who needed to be at our table for meals and it often included the girls. If that wasn't the case, she would check up on them to make sure that they had eaten. When their father went home later and later into the night, they had to sleep over at our house from time to time.
                            They grew up with toys, pictures of their mother in Hongkong, and my mother's constant nagging. I think she took it personally when the eldest girl ended up repeating her mother's situation, having a child while she was still young. She felt like she failed to raise her well. In our family, the welfare of the daughters, their mistakes, and their triumphs are perceived to be based on the alpha female in their lives. I saw how hard it was for my mother that she had not done a good enough job in instilling traditional values into my cousin's heads. As her eldest daughter, I had to suffer the nagging and the suspicious looks. I think I managed to dodge it jokingly, enough to ease her fears.
                            My mother's youngest brother had been conned by a trusted family friend before his wife managed to get a chance to go to Qatar. While she was there, my uncle died in his sleep.We would later find out that he had a legitimate job offer in Canada. She went home for the funeral but had to go back abroad so she could earn enough for their two sons' education. Once again, after the blow that hit her when my cousin got pregnant, my mother was a surrogate mother again.
                            Because my cousin's were in the same bed as their dad when he died, the kids didn't want to sleep in their old room. My younger cousin who couldn't sleep unless he had his hand on his dad's ear clung to my mom more, to my little sister's chagrin. They slept in our second floor room with my father, mother and sister. It was a good thing that by that time I was in Makati, my younger brother was in Diliman, and the youngest son was in Los Baños. When we all go home from our separate locations one had to take dibs on a bed or end up sleeping on the couch. The legitimate kids ended up feeling like we were the guests in our own home. But I didn't care, at least not all that much, because my mom told me, “Who else would take care of them?”
                            My mom doesn't mind disciplining, feeding, and loving my cousins. What I have seen as an adult that I missed when I was still a kid, was that my mom hated it when the parents thought that she was not giving their kids the money that they sent over. My mother had a mantra, “Never spend other people's money.” Both my parents believed that so much that their bosses trusted them with money matters completely. I started realizing that my mother was slowly becoming the victim in the situation. She didn't want to look like the enemy, but there was a time that she had to tell the boys the awful truth. Their mother, my aunt, had found someone new, she didn't have a job and there was no money coming in.
                            I don't know how hard it is to be far from my homeland. I have heard my friends, my relatives and former lovers talk about how difficult it is to be in a place where there is nothing else that they can do but work, eat, and sleep. I am an advocate that they are heroes in their own right. But let's not forget that there are those who decided that they can work here, care for the young here and fill in the gaps here in the Philippines.
                            I believe both deserve our gratitude.

                            +++

                            Click on the picture to see the other nominees and vote for your favorite!

                            "Strengthening the OFW Families: Stronger Homes for a Stronger Nation." 

                            ++++

                            Reminders for OFW parents of the 22nd century

                            1. The Social Networks are your bestfriends...and your worst enemies.

                            Make sure that you know how to use the social site that your child uses. It's not enough that you know how to use the chat options of Yahoo! Messenger. You can get tidbits of information from their comments, posts, as well as what to get them on their birthday, from Facebook, Multiply, Twitter, Plurk or Friendster. Let's be honest, parents are pretty much shunned by teenagers. A little cyber-stalking might come in handy. But don't be the "diary-reading" parent that my mom was. Your kid might just end up writing in code like I did just to keep some things secret. Don't worry, if your kid needs help or "The talk" they would figure out that you are the ones to go to unless you do not allow free speech in your relationship or your home.


                            2. Money isn't the only thing that they want from you.

                            Time is indeed something that is more important that some parents, OFW or otherwise, have forgotten that their kids need from them. I hated my parents for hovering for the most part of my life. (I still need to text my mom when it rains or there is something major on the news.) But I consider myself lucky now because I have this assurance that I have my parents to back me up.


                            3. We are not lazy just because we don't want to leave the country.

                            I have heard parents insisting that their kids follow in their footsteps. When their kids refuse to leave the country and work abroad they find it somewhat offensive since they think their kids demean their work. We don't. We really don't. But we would just want to gain more experience at home so we can get better options. You gave us the chance to get the best education we can afford, let us give back to the local industry, then we will think about international employment. Or we could just find options here that would pay the same.

                            Besides, mom and dad, we have a new president. Who knows? Maybe he would do a better job than that lady who...you know who I mean.

                            4. Try not to pick up where you left off. 
                            Most OFW parents fail to remember that their kids grew up while they were away. I don't mean they are being daft, it's just they find it hard to adjust how they treat their kids since they missed actual years in their kids' lives.

                            Don't cuddle a teenage. Don't be too strict towards an adult. Don't blame yourself if we have flaws or tantrums. We are adjusting to having a complete family too. Don't force things. Just let the love speak for itself. We know you are our parents, you don't have to scream it at our faces. We love you, we are just in the "teenage rebellion" phase. We'll outgrow it. And did I mention, we love you?

                            5. If you can, BE PRESENT in major celebrations.

                            We know you are doing this for us. But we want to thank you too by showing you the medals we have won, the awards that we have received, and the fruits of your labors. Those days are milestones in our lives so we want you in the picture, we want you in the memory, we want to hug and thank you in person. So if you can, please make time.

                            Pinaywriter a.k.a. Niña Rita Simon is an online English teacher, an unpublished novelist, part-time SEO writer, and comic book collaborator. When she's not writing Tagalog pocketbooks, meeting deadlines or editing comic balloons she finds time to infuriate or make her friends laugh.
                             


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                              WEATHER-WEATHER LANG by Norby Ela : 24-Hour Comic Book Challenge

                              WEATHER-WEATHER LANG by Norby Ela

                              My friend and the Yo, Bo! Komiks artist for NMN creative, Norby Ela decided to commit suicide and try to go through with the 24-Hour Comic Book Challenge. He hasn't been able to put his talent under this kind of pressure but he was willing to since his confidence has risen considerably since we started doing Yo, Bo! He asked for permission to use some of the characters from the original Yo, Bo! crew and we agreed, granted that we could still use them as our own for Yo, Bo! Komiks. 

                              Long story short, he shouldered on and was able to come up with 24 pages that answers the question "Bakit Astig ang Pinoy?
                              Although he knows much about living abroad he decided against using OFWs as characters. He hashed it out in his head that people would've already thought of that. He wanted to show that Filipinos, despite being riddled with catastrophic typhoons, had the ability to show other nations, people from that said nation, that Filipinos can find humor and inspiration even in the worst kind of situations. Rather than stating all of that in words, he tried to show by thrusting his main character, which is incidentally Bo D. himself and a Korean student he was tutoring at home into the whole Ondoy fiasco.

                              What would happen to an English tutor and a Korean kid who hates the Philippines if they are stuck together in the middle of great flood? 

                              Read up to find out.

                              Oh, and don't forget to leave your comments. ^_^

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                                Money versus Comfort : A Online Teacher's woes

                                I am asking around and bookmarking possible jobs that I would apply for come August. I am not in the mood to take a long vacation from work once I need to move on from my present company. I honestly want to work in a place where I know some people so I don't have to go through the whole adjustment period of getting to know new people and dealing with a new environment. I have been through that twice in this industry. They were both mildly stressful since I had to deal with a GL who didn't know how to handle his group. I ended up getting dropped because they had a weird notion of how to regularize people. I worked there for 9 months and they still didn't consider me a regular employee. They even stalled on telling me that I wouldn't have a job by the next week since they were not going to "renew" my contract because they thought I would skip work or go AWOL. So basically, they dropped me just because they needed to get rid of people. I am arrogant enough to say that it was not a good decision since most of the students they gave me were the kind who left the program after one month since they needed to work abroad or study abroad. So the reason they gave me, which is that I didn't have a lot of student renewals was baseless. Why would a metric like that cause me my job when in fact the students are the one-shot kind of student. The problem was that the GL didn't even try to defend me. Not even a bit. That was when I decided that if I was ever in a position of power, I would fight for my members. I would not allow them to be pushed out unjustly.

                                It was a blessing in disguise since I tried something that I would have never done before, I applied for a company that had video or screen classes. I was afraid of this kind of method since I was not that appealing to the eyes to begin with. But it turns out that it was easier than phone English classes. I was able to use numerous tools to help children and adults alike understand the lesson. I enjoyed a period of great pay and a wholesome and fun working environment. I was able to make some lifelong friends in this company. I learned a lot of things from my co-workers and was even able to venture into making comics with a couple of them. I loved my team leader, Tin, I had fun with the Filipino supervisors and met the best Korean manager in Miss Kimberly. I actually blogged about how I loved my job. I didn't mind that I had to work in the morning and sleep during the day. I had time to go to plays in my alma mater. And I was able to meet friends for coffee and conversation.

                                But that was before the changes happened. Initially, I had applied for a PM shift since I am a night person having come from two contact center companies. But the person who was supposed to be hired for the AM shift backed out because of her allergies. So they hired me for the morning shift. When they decided that they could move all the morning classes in a provincial branch, I had to move to the PM shift. That was the least of my worries. The bigger problem was that they had named me GL for my old team. So I was without my old GL, under-trained for my new position and going to have to work in a shift that was controversial and inconvenient. Suffice to say I was left stressed, depressed, and pissed.

                                I thought that would be the end of it. I figured that the quality that we brought to the company would not go unnoticed. The provincial branch was not churning out that many decent teachers after all. We were promised the more professional students so as to keep the quality of the account intact. But money won over in the end.

                                It was a dark reign that never ended. The policies became irrational and repetitive. The rumors spread like the poisonous fear that was eating up everyone's morale. The once perfect workplace became a textbook work environment hell. The great teachers started leaving or had no choice but to leave since the place was sucking the life out of them. And those who were left behind became jaded and confused. Then the backstabbing, the rumor-mongering and the demotions started to make everyone hate going to work. I used to go to work two hours early in the beginning of the new shift but as time passed, I found myself barely making it to work. I knew something was wrong. I loved what I did. Sure it was challenging and cuss-worthy at times. But that was just a part of the frustration of being with a kid who would rather play than study. Now everyone feared for this life, their status and their next pay.

                                I knew I reached my limit when I started getting insomniac again. This is my body's last resort when I am not dealing with something that should otherwise turn me nuts. I know that if it continued I would be miserable and worse, I would get sick daily. I don't like being sick so I decided to just vent out by blogging, writing and watching movies. I didn't have a choice but to move on. That is the worse thing and the best thing about what is happening. I thought this company was the kind that I could stay in for the rest of my adult life.

                                But I guess I was wrong.

                                I know two things now and they won't change.

                                One, I like being an online English teacher and I would be one for as long as there are companies that hire online English teachers.

                                Two, I need to save as much as I can while I am still earning a stable pay. This way times like these won't make me fear for bills and unpaid rent. I need to find a job that can help me earn enough to save for Old Me. I still have debts to pay and just because they are with my mom I can't let it fester.

                                I am thinking of going back to phone English teaching. Just so I have a job before the Reina comes back home.
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                                  Yo, Bo! Red, white and black

                                  The resident artist got around to making his vision of the blog come to life. Now I won't be encountering any problems with him worrying about what it looks like. ^_^

                                  It's so cool. Great work, Norby.
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                                    Leading Parallel Lives

                                    I call her my original best friend. Seriously. I would have killed people for her and she didn't need to know but I still would. But we had a falling out for a lot of reasons, half of which was because I was too immature and selfish to get over the fact that she hated being with people who were too square. Then now I learned that she is in Jeddah. I told her my ex is in Jeddah. I made her read some of the stuff I wrote about him. She has been through a lot that I don't know about. But I hope we can catch up when she goes back to school. She is a hottie now, sexy and pretty (always though she would be if she did something about it) and I am now the nottie (I never wanted to be but shit happens.) I miss talking to her. I pretty much became fluent in English since we always talked in English when we hung out together in elementary. I even became a softball player and an officer because it was our dream. I just think that some people loose sight of simple things that make them happy when they try to find who they are. She is taking a longer time figuring that out. I believe that she is still taking life too seriously. Me, I am being adult-like but I still don't take things too seriously.

                                    There are a lot of things that I want to teach her but I think she just needs me to be her friend. I think that I have outgrown that old me who needs to fix my friends' lives. I learned from my college friends that you have to let your friends fuck up their own lives. You just need to be there to laugh with them, cry ( I don't really do this part since I don't cry all that much) and to listen (when you're interested and even if you are not).

                                    What I think I can't teach her all that well is how to let go of the past. This is something that we have in common. She tends to live in the past and be miserable because of it. I tend to forget the past and it tends to bite me in the ass. What I can't let go is the love that I had in the past. That I think, we can learn together.

                                    I hope that when we see each other again, she can rub off some of her vanity on me. I really need an exercise buddy. Then maybe, I can rub off some of my "stop being an emo" spirit on her again. God knows we all need a friend like that.

                                    After all, what is a friend but a person you can bug without them telling you off, right?

                                    Stay safe, Veyn. Find your center. And be a solid one of these days. Pick a team. Kidding. I love you, man no matter how fucked up we really are.
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                                      Basyang is a big B

                                      Did you get stuck in the dark last night?
                                      Did you sweat despite it being cold?
                                      Did you wake up and stumbled around the house by candlelight this morning?
                                      Did you have to ride a bus instead of the MRT because of the blackout?
                                      Did your hopes of going home from work get dashed because the power went back on just when they were minutes away from announcing you can go home?

                                      Well. You and me both.
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                                        THE UP SUPERHERO is a FAIRY?!?























                                        You would have to forgive me if I am not impressed. As much as I love fairies, okay no I don't, I figured that a more OBLE looking superhero would be the one that fits better. I am sure she looked great in her costume and I am feministic enough to think it's great that they choose a girl to be the super heroine of the school but seriously, A FAIRY?!?

                                        I am sorry but I expected an IronManish Juan Dela Cruz superhero. Sorry. I just got this superhero in my head and a fairy was the least of my thoughts.
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                                          Trusting the Government

                                          The high approval rating of the new president and the vice-president is a double-edged sword. It can make or break the trust of the people. Sure, this is just a survey. But it can, in a nutshell, show that people WANT to believe that the government would be for the people this time around.

                                          I hope they, not just the president, but everyone else in the government (Yes, Mrs. Arroyo, I am talking to you.) would do less politicking and more serving.
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                                            I want a boring life

                                            I want to have a steady-paying job where I don't have to be afraid of where I would end up the next day. I want to be with someone who is not miles away and can call me whenever he wants to. I want to be in a place where I don't have to walk on eggshells. I want to be able to look in the mirror and see the me that I see in my head. The old me. The happy-go-lucky me.

                                            But I don't have any of those things going for me right now. But I am hopeful that I would be able to put things together. I am not a believer that things would just magically fall into place. People who believe that work on a whole different plane of existence. I know that people need to put their lives in their hands. Sure, for most of us, faith is something that is almost tantamount to fate. We can't just let our Higher Being do everything for us. The universe is a busy place and each one of us is smaller than a speck of dust as far as He or She is concerned. That is why there is such a thing as FREE WILL.

                                            I refuse to be sad though I am. I refuse to be downhearted although I have every reason to be. I can't give in to temptation although it's everywhere. If I have to be boring for my life to be in a steady pace, then I will go ahead and be as boring as I need to be. This is a big statement for me since for the greater part of my life I believed that boredom is equivalent to death. 

                                            Still, change is eminent. As much as I want to sit tight and stay where I am right now, I have to move on. I need to make sure that Mark's I love you's don't make me hope that there is a future for us. I just need to read it, smile and be happy with the knowledge that somewhere in this planet, someone who is not my relative loves me. Then move on. I need to make sure that the uncertainty of my employment status doesn't let me cower in the high unemployment rate in this country. After all, the government is getting a breath of fresh air. Like what drill sergeants tell their young soldiers, "Remember your training." And for the most part of my life, I have been sheltered yet prepared for these moments. The stability of my parents' support gave me a chance to get the best kind of education. So I will just trust that I learned exactly what I need from school and from the people that I worked with to be able to get a good job, even an excellent one if I am lucky.

                                            I know that I can 
                                            do this. I can be an adult. Sure, for me being an adult and being adult-like is harder than most. I have always feared boredom in my life. But as one grows older it is not boredom that we fear, it's the inevitable routine.

                                            If I just sprinkle my life with creative exploits, new experiences and interests, then I would be able to lead a life that is full of color, pizazz, and love. I know that I would make it through this with more to show for it than the people who fear to take risks.

                                            Okay, so I am not bored anymore. Moving on.
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                                              Eiga Sai Weekend


                                              I, Simone, a true-blooded Pinay, will do my best to watch as many movies in Eiga Sai as I possibly can. I hope to be able to see the rest of them in the UP Film Institute when I get released from my present employment.

                                              I do hope that I would be able to watch them all this year.

                                              So help me, movie Gods.
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                                                My friends hate this about me

                                                I love to gossip. People know that about me. But as much as possible I do that for the sake of talking and helping my friends get over their exes than making other people feel worse about themselves. Sure I went through the normal pre-teen and teen mean girls phase of lying through my teeth and talking about people behind my back. But people who have earned my respect don't get shut down or trash talked EVER.

                                                Despite being severely sociable there is something about me that only my friends know. I am a snob. I also believe that first impressions last. If I don't like a person, then I would never like them. I think it's part of my make-up that I don't remember the names of people unless they prove worthy of that part of my already full memory bank. I also have a funny yet effective way of not cluttering my life with people that I would not talk to, I just don't consider them relevant and forget them when they are no longer a part of my working memory. This is mean of me, I know. I am not fully rehabilitated after all, but it's been unfailing that I don't hang out with people who feel phony or are too full of their prudish ways that they think that when people cuss and talk smut that makes them either too interesting to ignore or worse, a freak.

                                                Like they say:

                                                Your ignorance does not make me a weirdo.
                                                I got that from my best friend actually. I miss him. Why? Because although we both work in an alternate plane away from most people, and they don't understand where he is coming from, we get each other. I guess dualities like us can't function well with people who are bad at lying to other people. Or if they do not have any form of respect. Sure I am tactless, I don't care if you hear me call you a bitch but I make sure that if I trash talk anyone it is a mere transference of facts from me to another person. And I wouldn't out you as the bitch you are to the whole floor, just my ex big boss who knows what a really brutal biatch I am. I am above spreading rumors, I like communicating facts now.

                                                Seriously and I apologize to all my TRUE CHRISTIAN friends and acquaintances, but I think she has a long way of purging herself of her old PR ways. Because if you have no absolute proof that something is true, you shouldn't make a press release about it. Seriously, believing your own delusions is even worse than lying to other people.

                                                I have learned tactfulness from my friends. Yes, this is me being tactful. Seriously, if this "person" worked with me in a theater production back in college, I would have pushed her off the stage for being an aging prima donna. And if she ever makes another comment about what she knows about Pnoy's likes and dislikes, I would make her bleed so as to remind her that her blood isn't yellow. Seriously. Get a life. Make something of yourself without leeching on other people's popularity. People voted for him for what he can do for them not how they can get you back into the game. Suit up and shut up, lady.

                                                Sorry. I am having one of those days.
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                                                  ELBI LIFE UPDATE

                                                  ELBI LIFE 1- NATASHA's chapter three and four are already online. (The rest of the chapters are here) ^_^ I was able to finish Chapter three for ELBI LIFE 3 - JAIME. I am still stuck on chapter three for ELBI LIFE 2 - Raine. +_+; I am beginning to think that if not for my other hobbies, I would be done with these novels already.

                                                  But for now, I need to sleep. I am way too crabby to spin any tales or edit any comics. I just hope I don't have to cram.

                                                  I am giving Eros to Bigmark so he can clean my sweet lappie of the 48 so infections that Singko (my Portable drive) has. This actually makes me feel like a cheating wife who gave her husband an STD. I am sure my cousin's husband understands the feeling. Only mine doesn't need antibiotics just a good anti-virus and anti-malware program. ^_^ I just hope he can give it back to me before the weekend.
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                                                    The list is out

                                                    And I am not in it. ^_^ I figured that and I think people misinterpreted my previous statements. I told them if I was offered I would accept it for until the end of the year. I never assumed that I would get picked since I know my attendance is less than ideal lately. But insomnia is the only physical reminder that I am not a robot about what's happening. Maybe my body is practicing. I might need to get a graveyard shift in the same industry. We'll see. If I survive it then I guess I could but the main thing about this industry that I liked is that I don't get screamed at by students and the shifts are permanent and often in the morning. (Unless you get displaced because someone had the brilliant idea of making your shift extinct.) If I take the 10pm -5am teaching job than I would be able to have the rest of the day. I would probably even catch my Saudi-based friends on their "awake hours" if I am there. It would be 6 a.m. when I start work and around 1 when I leave. ^_^ That would be nice. That is if I can access FB. Which I am pretty sure I can't since it's considered cyberslacking. ^_^ Still. It would be nice to catch them online once in a while.

                                                    I guess I was being clairvoyant when I updated my resume. It was a sign that I was short-listed. ^_^ Oh well. They have no idea how many of those they left behind are not that good to the ears. Still I can vouch for those from my original groups. ^_^ Don't know about the rest.

                                                    This is really is it. ^_^
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                                                      I am not your Nanny

                                                      I just remembered why I like being a writer.
                                                      It's because you are the only one who needs to work and think to get story out. It's the best loner job for a person who is also sociable. It serves my duality well.
                                                      I sometimes find that working as a collaborator is a pain in the ass. I guess I am just used to people dealing with how irritating and preachy I could be that I hate it when people bother me with what they find offensive.

                                                      When I try to be blunt, I am brutal.
                                                      When I try to say it in codes, I am being preachy.
                                                      When I tell them to stop bothering me, they bother me more.

                                                      Seriously. I didn't ask for a hobby that was going to talk my whole time. If they didn't want me to bail, they need to stop making me the bad guy when they don't want to butt heads. +_+

                                                      Gesh.

                                                      Sorry, I didn't volunteer to be the peacemaker or the person in between here. I signed up to make stories and dialogues. It's not a genre that I wanted to be in. This was supposed to be a distraction, not something that I need to make a living out of.
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                                                        Wanted : "I love it here!" workplace

                                                        Online resumes are a blessing. I was actually able to get my first E-learning job using my resume in JobStreet. I searched for my first job and managed to find Educonnection. I thought I wouldn't have to do it again since I thought this was a company that I could stay in for as long as I want. I guess there are just things that won't go your way however you wish for it to.

                                                        Nevertheless, I know that I can get a new job. I just want to be more aware of what company I would go to and if they would be able to give me the working environment that I would enjoy.
                                                        For all it's worth, the working environment in E-lamp had been great. I miss the AM shift atmosphere most of all. I really loved my life during that time. I didn't even care that I wasn't a morning person. I had so much time during those days to be with friends, read books, write, watch plays and so on. I was creative, productive and I actually remembered the names of my teammates and co-workers. But things turned sour when I had to work for the PM shift. Still, I was able to get more pay so that was nice. I was even promoted to GL (which I didn't really expect) and I learned a lot of things. I learned to respect the pressure that supervisors go under just to keep their members from getting fired because they neglect protocol and policies. I guess next time around I would be more considerate to the effort a Group Leader or a Team Leader has to give out just to keep the everyday as uneventful as possible.

                                                        I don't really like change. I like to find a place and be comfortable, choose those whose names I want to remember and make them lifelong friends. I am just a bit sad that I have to do all over again.

                                                        I am glad my parents put me through school and never pressured me to be more than what I could be. I learned to put that pressure on myself later in life. I know that they would help me if things go south. Because of that I made achievable goals like : Find a job, give my mom money for my sibling's tuition and to be able to save for my future spinsterhood. ^_^

                                                        I still have those dreams. The second one is ongoing. I need to start saving for OLD me since I am 25 now. As much as I want to hold on to a promise made to me by someone whom I love, I know that in the end, I would need to fend for myself and get things together.

                                                        I think updating my online resume means I am past denial. I know that things are going to be uncertain for a few weeks. But if I look hard enough,pray long enough, and smile bright enough I would find that next "I love it here!" company that I would blog about. ^_^
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                                                          Pinaywriter in Viviti

                                                          Pinaywriter Unpublished in Viviti.com

                                                          I know, I know. I promised not to make any more blog sites. But I am trying this new thing out. I found Yeshan's sorta fansite there so I thought it would be cool to make one there as well. Who knows.

                                                          I really need to get my blogging addiction reigned in. +_+;

                                                          ++++

                                                          As of presstime:

                                                          I think I won't be going through with this one. I don't know if it would be published in 14 days (after the trial period). Someone told me that she can't see the page now. I wonder why?

                                                          Anyway, guess my gemini-ness kicked in. I got bored again. +_+ My bad.
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                                                            A voice from the past



                                                            All he said was "Hello, Niña."

                                                            http://www.mediafire.com/?rx84r5pd9nhgli8
                                                            I could have died. I would've screamed. But I didn't.
                                                            I admit I felt a warmth creeping up my chest. But it didn't explode. It didn't make me catch my breath. Okay, maybe just a little bit. But not like before. Definitely not like before.

                                                            I sent him a message telling him to take care of himself and try not to be sad. ^_^

                                                            25 days, 5 months, and 2 years to go. I will be okay, completely okay by then.
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                                                              Ang TNL marunong makiramay sa SMB

                                                              *Translation of the title : A real man knows how to empathize with SMB (samahan ng bigo) - people who have gotten their heart broken*

                                                              I found this cool entry in You're a grown man!

                                                              It was about the guy rule in being a good friend to your grieving bro. I think, I know this is what most guys do. But the heckling part I guess is a lot harder to tone down. But honestly, I try to make my friends feel worse so that I can trigger their survival instinct. ^_^ Still, it's a unwritten rule in Friendship Magna Carta to suffer through all the bull ranting and sobbing that a friend dishes out because you know for a fact that they would do it for you.

                                                              If you are a grown man, you can check the rest of his list here. 

                                                              Yeah, I meant you. Click it. Now.
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                                                                What I learned from teaching kids online part 1

                                                                Disclaimer: The information contained here are from the blogger's personal experience. They are not to be taken as something akin to an expert's point of view. Humor is necessary when you read on.

                                                                There are two major kinds of kids who studying online, the first one is the “Volunteer” and the other is the “Drafted”.

                                                                The first student is one that actually asked for English lessons or at the very least includes those that like to study English. They are participative and energetic. Oftentimes they have a higher level than most since they are already really interested in learning English.

                                                                The second one is the hard kind to deal with, I would have to put them on a separate blog to list down what kind of students they are, but in a pinch they are the ones who would give you hell online. No pun intended. Their actions range from ignoring you, missing class constantly, to just bluffing their way through the book. You wouldn't have a chance to tell them off since in the first place, they can't understand you.

                                                                Under the “Volunteer” there are those who would make you want to keep on working and there are those you want to kick out of the conversation altogether.

                                                                Let me list them down for you:

                                                                1.The “Hermione”

                                                                This student is very good in English. They would want to ask you questions to test if you are better than them. If you prove yourself worth their while they would look at you like a mentor. They are easy to teach since their vocabulary is insanely enriched. On the other hand, if you are deemed not good enough, they would bluff their way through the book. They could even ask for a teacher change since you are too boring for them. The secret to this kind of student is to try to be as well-read as you can. If this is not an option for you, my suggestion is learn how to google for things faster. Train your mind and your eyes to pick up the necessary information that you need.

                                                                2.The “Smart Aleck”

                                                                They are often rude and they try to tell you, in not so many obvious ways that they don't like to be your student. Arrogant students can be a pain but if they are smart enough and you find an interest that you share, they can prove to be really interesting students. This is because you need to be both stern and lax. You can't tell them what to do all the time since they don't really respond well to authority nevertheless you can't let them get away with everything. If you do, you would end up scolding them for half of the class and not get anywhere near your lesson quota.

                                                                3.The “Whisperer”

                                                                This happens a lot with some students. They are smart but talks like they have their mouth next to your ear. This can be a biological problem. The kind might just have an actual small voice to begin with. You can work on this by teaching your kid vocalization exercises. You can also ask them to speak louder. Don't sound like you are scolding them, if you do, then their voice will be squeakier. Help them feel comfortable, confident, and happy. You will notice that you don't have to press your headset to you skull once they warm up to you.

                                                                4.The “Verbal Tick” kid

                                                                There are different kinds of verbal ticks that a student can do. Some are just pronunciation problems. But there are some that are truly going to piss you off or confuse you.
                                                                For example, I have this student who keeps saying yes right after I ask him a question. It's really bad since I sometimes ask him “Do you have a question?” I have told him several times to stop doing that since it can cause confusion. He has tried his best. So far he says it less and less.
                                                                If your student has a verbal tick, don't scare it out of him. Tick are oftentimes signs that they are thinking or that they are unsure. So if you try to intimidate them, then things could go from bad to worse.

                                                                5.The “Sugar-rush” kid

                                                                This kid can be a little difficult to handle. They participate well, often they participate waaaaaaaaaay too much. They like to do activities, sing songs and talk about life in general. They seem to be on their feet half of the time. The secret is to gain their trust and engage them in conversation so that they wouldn't need to get up to dance or anything like that. It's best to prepare activities for these kids in advance just in case your current class lesson ends sooner than you anticipated.

                                                                6.The Mama's kid

                                                                The problem here is not the kid, it's the parent. They sometimes hover so much that the kid feels bad whenever they get a scolding for not being able to answer a free-talking question as soon as you ask it. If you can, try to put in the teacher's comment or recommendation that you think that the student can study on his own or that he needs to learn how to be more independent when it comes to making his own sentences. This actually worked with a student of mine. I noticed that he was scared of his mom so he didn't talk that much when she was around. But when he was alone, he laughed, talked and smiled during class.
                                                                Don't get me wrong there are kids who need parents to be around them when they study online but there are those who need to just be in the room but not bother the kid when they are studying.

                                                                Sometimes kids overlap but so far these are the “Volunteer” kinds that I have encountered. The “Drafted” ones would be longer, I am sure of it.
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                                                                  Cinemalaya or Eiga Sai



                                                                  Can someone please shoot me now? I can't decide when I would watch the Cinemalaya 2010 movies. I don't know if I can still catch the Eiga Sai 2010 in the UP Film Institute if I miss them in Shang. +_+;
                                                                  Cinemalaya screening schedules here.

                                                                  The agony of choices suck. If only I didn't have this retched schedule then I would be able to line up for the Eiga Sai during the weekdays and watch Cinemalaya during the weekend. +_+;
                                                                  But I am thinking that if I put up with Eiga Sai during this weekend, then I can go to Cinemalaya during the next weekend. Yes, that's a good plan.

                                                                  Now if only my mom hadn't threatened to open my Mig Ayesa fangirl package if I didn't go home during the weekend, then I wouldn't have any problem at all. +_+;
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                                                                    41 days or so




                                                                    People are talking about their future. There are less rumors to talk about, it's the time to get things to sink in. I know for sure that I would only talk or contact a handful of people from this company when all of this is over. I wouldn't even remember the name of half of the people who would be leaving. I can't say that they have enriched my life by being my co-worker. I am not arrogant enough to think that I taught them anything. They are just a part of a chapter in my life. And unfortunately everything ends.

                                                                    People just need to learn how to deal with it.

                                                                    I hate changes. I don't like to have to adapt to a new environment. But I have learned a long time ago that change is the only thing that is constant in the world. So I guess I can say that grace under pressure is what I learned when I became a part of this company. That would definitely come in handy in the future.

                                                                    The odd thing was that after we watched the video of the CEO and the Q&A with the lawyer was happening, I didn't really feel like tearing up or excessive sadness. I was more in a "So what's next?" daze. People's emotions were either distraught or overwhelmed. Some actually didn't know what to do next.

                                                                    As for me I spent the weekend resting. I know that I am still physically affected by the whole situation because my insomnia bothered me this morning. I couldn't sleep well or at least I didn't feel like I actually slept. I have to go to work early now since my "love letters" would lead to a final "love letter" if I am ever late again. And I want that separation pay. At least with that little technicality I find a reason to go to work at all.

                                                                    I will try to document the last few days, not always with pictures but with words that I can read in the future and say, wow, I got through that? And I guess I would want to blog more about my new company and my new job (although I plan to get a similar job, I like my job after all).

                                                                    The interesting thing would be that I might have a chance to document how hard it is to get a job nowadays. Although I am hoping that I would get a job as soon as the end of August. I am very trainable after all.

                                                                    It's a CommArts thing, I guess, to be able to face a new challenge. I mean, if I can get people to make an entire stage then I can get a new job in no time. ^_^

                                                                    What these chitchatting people really oughta do is try to bring more positive vibes in their lives. That way they can counter the already truly crappy vibes that is surrounding their lives.
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                                                                      Include in Crazy list : Be Superman


                                                                      I am deathly afraid of heights, but when I saw the article Izah Morales, a former orgmate, wrote about Zoom, I thought it would be a good idea to add it in my crazy list.

                                                                      See the article here
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                                                                        One more and you're out

                                                                        One more and I am out.
                                                                        That is a good motivation to go to work even if things are not going to last anymore. I need to remember to how to be the old me. I need to wake up earlier I guess.

                                                                        Oh well.
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                                                                          I miss Sir Gene and all of my UPLB teachers

                                                                          I don't know if people would actually agree with me on this, but we forget the names of our teachers as soon as the semester ends. We remember anecdotes and funny things that they did. We could mimic their gestures and speech patterns to the letter.

                                                                          But we forget them because they are insignificant to us.

                                                                          I learned from a person I was rude to on the first few days of my UPLB life that someone can truly see your potential and that challenging a teenager's fear of being insignificant is a great tool for mentoring that said person.

                                                                          I remember the feeling of wanting to be a good student to him and his mentor. I learned how to make speeches because of them. I also learned that everything a person says can make other people change the way that they think.

                                                                          He is a Vilmanian, much like my mom. He loved to study and he loved the academe. But he was able to challenge the comfort that UPLB gave him and spread his wings to Singapore. I miss him and his thoughts on speeches, people and life.

                                                                          I hope that someday my sister would have teachers like him who would tell her that "If by the end of this semester I still don't remember your name, that means you are insignificant. "

                                                                          I think that was the day that I felt that being in UPLB might be worth my time. Now I am a proud graduate.

                                                                          Now if only I knew someone who would be a great match for him, then I would have paid my debt to him. ^_^
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                                                                            Some consideration please

                                                                            I have been having a hard time with my computer today. No, scratch that, I have been having problem with it for a few days already. It's irritating really when your job relies a lot on audio and video connections and functions in your computer. Then there is this wonderfully made, irritating little malware that keeps making your stupid computer mute.

                                                                            IT guys to the rescue, right? But what can the sailors do when then captain tells them to abandon ship?

                                                                            Why fix a boat full of holes when all you want to do is to make all the rats jump off?

                                                                            Right? Right.
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                                                                              Deo's Den # 3 - Ozawa

                                                                              What happens to a teacher who uses the internet for something else? See what happens to Bo when Deo catches him. 

                                                                              *No actual humans were hurting in the making of this komik* ^_^
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