Sunday, September 26, 2010

Mumblings and Dreams -Of togetherness and Relationship status

Mumblings and Dreams -Of togetherness and Relationship status

I had a weird dream last night. I can't remember it clearly but the feeling of seeing people I haven't seen in a while mixed with fresh worries.

Somehow all I remember is that I woke up thinking that women are acting mighty strange these days. Someone told me that it must be the heat.

I changed my facebook relationship status from Married to Single. I was supposed to make a facebook account for my laptop but I figured I don't have time to check my own account let alone a dummy account so I forgot that my status was Married.

When I did change it people were commenting and liking it. It was odd that someone actually congratulated me that I am single. I mean...come on. People would comment on anything.
I got into a fine mess because I commented violently on a friend's relationship change. But that was for a completely different reason. She changed from single to in a relationship. We have been waiting for her to get into one. I believe that I have wished it on every wish stick since she got heartbroken over some hobbit-like person. But I forgot how my own wish was granted. I got Mark. I.did.not.think.that.through.

I am just afraid that she too would have the same fate. I hope the idea of keeping things intimately between them is her idea and not someone else's. Otherwise, it spells like a tragedy.

Speaking of tragedies, I watched Stranger than Fiction yesterday. It was awesome. I would probably go nuts if that ever happened to me, writing something that actually happens. Oh, wait. It had. That is probably why I don't write about people dying. Just being on the safe side, you know. Why?

Let me give you an example, in the story line of one of my bestfriends, her character was changed to a man whose first love dies. In real life, her first real boyfriend and love died in a motorcycle accident. She of course, like the character in the story, finds another love. Still, the dying part could have been prevented, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, I really should just stop worrying about how people lead their lives and worry about what I can do to make mine less boring. Since I am shedding so many of my parameters surrounding my past love, this is bargaining year after all (third year of mourning so I'm on the bargaining stage), then I suppose I can do some of the initial changes that I was to make permanent in the future.

Being alone is not something that I am afraid of. And I am sorry but I look down at people who can't handle being on their own. I really do. Emotionally, physically and ultimately we are all alone. And that is the only real thing that we have in common.

So yes, I am single.

And I am not afraid to be.
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