Sunday, September 26, 2010

ARCHIVE : SamChronicles 1.4 what dreams may come

SamChronicles 1.4 what dreams may come

*UPLB Freedom Park*

Sam: We're here.

Rain: (groggy) Where? What?

Sam: Where else are we supposed to be?

Rain:(checks his body) I'm alive. (astounshed)(touches the dashboard) My car is intact.

Sam: (laughs) Shattap. Get out. I am hungry.

Rain: What time is it?

Sam: Five. Just enough time to catch some people and some grub as well. (texts while she talks and walks) (trips)

Rain: (holds her by the arm) Do you really have to text while you walk?

Sam: I am trying to find as many friends as soon as possible. I have less than 24 hours to stay here.

Rain: So many friends so little time, huh?

Sam: You have no idea. (looks up from her texting) Let's find something to eat.

Someone screams from behind them. Samantha turns around and shrieks back.

Rain: What the hell?!?

Sam: Vaklaaah!!!

JV: VAklah ka jan. Ang taba mo.

Sam: (pouts) Wala kasi akong konsumisyon.

JV: So mabait ka pala. (shakes Rains hand)

Sam: Esusmi. Hindi ko sya boyfriend.

Rain: Anong hindi?

Sam: (raises an eyebrow at him) Shattap.

JV: Oh my god, gurl. Naunahan mo na naman akong magka-papa. Kalurkie. Wala ba yang bading nakapatid.

Sam: Nope, sorry bawal ang bakla sa Cavite. Hehe.

JV: Esusmi. Marami akong kilalang Cavitenyo na Cavitenya talaga sa totoong buhay.

Sam: (laughs) Pa-hug naman.

JV and Sam hug and Rain had to shake his head.

Rain: (in his head) She must really missher friends.

Sam: Rain, be a dear and take a picture. Please.

JV: Pwedeng all-together tayo?

Rain: Sure. (takes a picturea)

JV: Wow. Nahiya daw ako sa camera mo.

Rain: (smiles)

JV: My gosh. Wag ka ngumiti ng ganyan.

Sam: Hoy bakla, ang t-back mo baka mahalit. (laughs)

Rain: (becomes uncomfy) (shifts his weight from one foot to the other)

Sam: Oh my. Don't tell me you are homophobic. Papahalikan kita sa lahat ng gay friends ko. Makita mo. Bawal ang homophobic dito.

Rain: Hindi ako homophobic.

JV: Sige nga patunayan mo, pa-kiss. (laughs)

Rain: Wala naman ganyanan.

Sam and JV: (laughs) (high-five)

Sam: Oh. We have to go na gurl. So many friends so little time. Sana magkasalubong pa tayo later.

JV: Sure, sure. (Kisses Sam on the cheek)

Sam: (gives Rain a tap in the back) Thanks for not bolting when we teased you.

Rain: (wipes his forhead in mock fear) Akala ko ma-rerape na ako.

Sam: Asa ka pa. (holds on to his right arm)

Rain: (in his head) Ano naman 'to?

Sam: (laughs) Try to relax, Rain. Not every gurl who holds on to you is in love. I just need to protect you.

Rain: From what?

A group of gurls walk past them and oggle Rain. They burst in hypergiggles once they passed.

Sam: From that. Hordus freshwomanalis. They travel in groups. Often love pink. Have the irritating ability to laugh in unison in freaking squeaky voices.

Rain: (laughs) (in his head) They are cute.

Sam: I know you think they are cute. But wait til they pounce on you.

Rain: (in his head) Now that would be a treat. (laughs)

Sam: Ew. You were actually thinking about that, weren't you?

Rain: (in his head) Duh.
(outloud) Of course not, what do you take me for?

Sam: Typical. I take you for a typical man. Dicktus Egorensis.

Rain: Do you really have to make a pseudo-scientific name for everybody?

Sam: Yes. It's a particular hobby of mine that started when I found out what sus scrofa domestica means. Come to think of it some men are sus scrofa others are sus domestica.

Rain: You lost me.

Sam: Sus scrofa is for wild boars. Sus domestica is for swine, you know the kind that are raised in swine farms. I think...

Rain: I thought you were a writing major.

Sam: I have agriculturists for friends. And vets. So some of the taxonomy gibberish rubbed off.

Rain: Interesting. (raises his camera and takes a picture of her)

Sam: (shocked) Try to ask for permission when you are taking my picture.

Rain: It's called a moment. In layman's terms, a stolen shot.
(in his head) I am capturing you as an intelligent person who never shuts up.

Sam: (raises her eyebrow at him)

Rake: Samantha!

Sam: (recognizes the voice and drags Rain by the hand then bolts)(whispers) Oh c'mon!

Rain: (shocked but tries to keep up)What the heck?

Samantha dragged Rain into one of the booth that were more crowded.

Sam: Hi, can we sit here for a bit?

Gurl: Sure, do you just want some coffee?

Sam: (looks at the sign) Free coffee. Cool.

Gurl: (gives them two styrofoam cups with coffee) Here you go.

Rain: (still breathing heavily) Do you mind explaining why you dragged me here? Please don't tell me you had a sudden urge to drink java. I heard someone call you.

Sam: (looks around nervously) I know someone called out. I know that voice anywhere.

Rain: Are you hiding from someone?

Sam: Duuuhhh. (still looking at the crowd while hiding behind Rain)

Rain: Do you mind telling me what he looks like?

Sam: I don't know.

Rain: What?

Sam: I don't know what he looks like now. Because sometimes he is bald sometimes he isn't.

Rain: Do you at least have a picture of him?

Sam: Do I look like the kind of person who would keep the pictures of her exes on her at all times?

Rain: I'm just trying to help.

Sam: Try taking random pictures of the crowd. He might be there somewhere. We can't leave here until the coast is clear.

Rain: You really don't want to bump into this guy, huh?

Sam: Let's just put it this way. I made a promise to him that if I am single and he is single and we are in the same place that he would get some.

Rain: Sounds like a promise to me. (laughs)

Sam: Shattap.

Rain: (laughs while taking pictures) You should keep your promises you know.

Sam: You are not helping!

Rain: (laughs harder) (turns around and takes a picture of Sam) You look cute when you are worried.

Sam: (tries to cover her face) Stoppit!

Rake: Sam?

Sam: (whisper) Shite.

Rain: (turns around) Can we help you?

Rake: (ignores Rain) I thought I saw you. I called out but you disappeared. It's a good thing that you guys ended up in our booth.

Sam: Yeah. Just.peachy.

Rain: Well, thank you for the coffee. (places the styrocup down and tries to usher Sam away)

Rake: I was talking to her. (holds Sam by her other arm)

Rain: (pulls) We still have a lot of people to meet up with.

Sam: (speechless)
(in her head) SAY SOMETHING!

Rake: Wala ka sa teritoryo mo.

Rain: I know. But I don't care. Excuse us.

Rake: Whatever. I'll talk to you later, sweetie.

(outloud) Uh-ha.
(tripped when she turned around)

Rain: Woah. (puts his arm around her shoulders)

Sam: Sorry. (puts her hand over her mouth)

Rain: (in his head) What did I do now?
(outloud) Are you okay?

Sam:(muffled) (wants to sit down)

Rain: Wai-wai-wait. Let's get back to the car. There are people here. You can cry inside the car.

Sam: Cry? (looks up)

Rain: (sees that she is actually smiling)
Crazy girl.

Sam: (her smile becomes wider) Are we far enough from them?

Rain: (looks back) Yea, I think so.

Sam: (laughs outloud - think maniac roll over the ground laughter)

Rain: (in his head) Great. She chooses now to snap. owe me big time.

Samantha doubles over laughing to her heart content. Then she sits down on the grass like she was meditating.

Rain: I am scared to ask what you are doing.

Sam: I am trying to regain my chakra.

Rain: (in his head) This gurl is definitely out of it. Great. She gets weirder every minute. No wonder this freak and Jes hit it off. Birds of the same feather...But I'm with her, aren't I?

Sam: You are in your head again.

Rain: I am most of the times.

Sam: I was never like that. I used to think outloud all the time. It got me into a few arguments with random people.

Rain: Are you still doing that?

Sam: Unfortunately, the speaking outloud part never went away. But I learned how to say things in my head more often.

Rain: Ah...
Sam: Don't say Ah, ganun. Masasaktan ka sa akin.

Rain: Gesh. Who is this ass who is the reason behind that dumb rule.

Sam: My last boyfriend. It's his default expression.

Rain: That guy?

Sam: No, that guy was nothing compared to the last one at least in the way that I loved them. Perv back there was a rebound. Eros, the "Ah, ganun" guy is...let's just say call him my last boyfriend.

Rain: There would be more boyfriends I am sure.

Sam: No. I mean it by last boyfriend. He is my last.

Rain: Do you plan to have girlfriends instead?

Sam: What do you think Jes is to me?

Rain : (chokes) What?

Sam: Guillible ka. Walang guillible sa dictionary.

Rain: So you are not a..?

Sam: And so what if I am. (shakes her head) I can't. Women are the reason why I can't be a lesbian.

Rain: Huh?

Sam: THey are crazy. Don't you agree.

Rain: (in his head) YES!
(outloud) Not all of you are.

Sam: Liar. (laughs)

Rain: You are definitely different.

Sam: Thank you.

Rain: So were to?

Sam: I have to find my bestfriend.

Rain: We won't find him sitting down.

Sam: He'll find us. (sends an sms) You can go ahead and take some pictures or something. I'll stay here for a while.

Rain: (points his camera at Sam) If you say so.

Samantha takes the camera from him and ends up pulling him towards her.

GK: Eherm. Am I missing something here?

Sam: Gerroff.


Sam: Oh. (gives Rain the camera)

Rain: (rubs his neck)

GK: Explain.

Sam: Uh...this is Rain.

GK: That is not an explanation.

Sam: I took his camera from him.

GK: Ah. Akala ko oa na pagiging exhibitionist mo. Kahit me araw nakikipagano ka sa park.

Sam: Tactlessness is a must ba today?

GK: (laughs) Hi, I'm Gemini Katana. My friends call me GK.

Rain: Nice name.

GK: It's not my real name. It's an alias. My real name is mabantot. (sits beside Sam)

Sam: Pa-hug. (hugs GK) Na-miss kita.

Rain: (in his head) Does she really have to hug everyone?

Sam: Rain, favor. Isang picture naman jan.

Rain: (takes a picture)

Sam: Isa pa. (poses like she is about to kiss GK)

Rain: (in his head)

GK: Incest! (mock disgust)

Sam: He! Halikan kita ng totoo jan eh.

GK: Wagpo.wagpo.

Rain: (in his head)

Sam: (looks at her watch) Shite. I have to go (kisses GK on the cheek) I have to find my darn orgmates.

GK: Would I see you again later?

Sam: I don't know. But I am staying at my brother's. You can sleep over if you want.

GK: I don't know what time I would want to crash.

Sam: Just text me. You can drop by any time.

GK: Parang bahay mo lang noh. Nakita mo na ba kapatid mo?

Sam: (slaps her forehead)

GK: (laughs) Go look for him first)

Sam: Ok. See you when I see you (kisses him again before GK leaves)

Rain: Do you really have to kiss him?

Sam: He's my bestfriend. I hug everybody else. Him, I kiss.

Rain: Even in front of your boyfriend?

Sam: You're not my boyfriend so it's okay. But yes, I kiss him in front of my boyfriends.

Rain: That explains why you are single. (laughs)

Sam: Shattap.


Disclaimer: This thing is completely fictional. I wrote with some of my friends' attitude in mind. But each person is a hodgepodge of many others. ^^ I tried to translate it to English (the taglish parts) but I found it less funny, so bear with the stupid translations. I didn't know what I was doing when I did that. ^^ If there are typos, forgive me. But feel free to point it out. If there is something in it that offends you, feel free to point it out. ^^ If there is something that makes you laugh, feel happy and suddenly nostalgic, feel free to point it out. Written: Feb 14, 2008 - Feb 2009

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